Blood Monkey

"Blood Monkey" (2007, Robert Young, Thai Occidental Production, RHI Entertainment, Genius Entertainment) is a nature-bites-back adventure horror set in Thailand.

A group of student anthropologists travel to the jungle to assist Professor Conrad Hamilton (F. Murray Abraham) in his quest to capture a creature he believes to be the missing link in human evolution. Only, when the students arrive they discover that the initial research team are no longer there and the Professor and his somewhat sadistic assistant, Chenne (Prapimporn Karnchanda), are less than professional. Can they escape the jungle before the massive, bloodthirsty trophy specimen can brutally murder them all?

I will admit I watched this film for two reasons:

1. It is a B-movie with a pun title
2. I have a crush on Matt Ryan

I stayed for two reasons:

1. Matt Ryan
2. Matt Ryan using his own accent

Ok, a third reason: F. Murray Abraham hamming it up big style! If the scenery hadn't been potentially poisonous, he would have been chomping on it. 

This is a straight-to-DVD syfy movie so it plays out in a very by-the-numbers style: too much dialogue, not enough 'monster'. But it does have some entertaining effects when we finally do see some of our 'monkeys' and there was an abseiling scene which must have been sketchy to film...

It doesn't outstay its welcome at 90 minutes and delivers the anticipated levels of cheese, but it could have been doing with a little bit more monkey for our money. It's definitely a cautionary tale about outlandish uni trips with maniacal professors.

[Image: RHI Entertainment]

Hani

High Plains Invaders

"High Plains Invaders" (2009, Richard Beattie, Castel Film Romania, Muse Entertainment Enterprises, Syfy) is a science fiction, made-for-TV film set in the Wild West.

Sam Danville (James Marsters) is a train robber due to be hanged for his crimes in a small Western town. While standing at the hangman's noose, watched by his jilted flame, Abigail (Cindy Sampson), the town is overrun by violent alien creatures and Sam ends up acting as a hero to try to save the town from the monsters.

My hands have to go up in the air here; I'm a huge fan of James Marsters and have been since I was about 16 or so. I'll watch anything that he's in. I listen to his music, I own all the Dresden Files audio books he's narrated and I once met him at a convention and, luckily for him, I was too nervous to say anything coherent at him.

But, I have to make myself clear, here. This is actually a pretty solid made-for-tv Syfy Channel monster/Western mash-up. And I'm not being biased. Yes, it's corny, the dialogue is formulaic and the special effects are low budget so the cast are limited to battling one beastie at a time. But it's well done, sets a good pace and enjoys some pretty nice alien design. The run time is only 87 minutes so the film does not overstay its welcome and, as well as our hero, there is a pretty solid collection of characters.

The film enjoys a "Saturday early evening" feel that is common to most Syfy productions and, although not particularly scary, manages to pull it off as a low-budget monster/cowboy movie without becoming dull.

Also, occasionally, it's nice to see James Marsters play a hero. Even if he's also a wanted criminal at the same time.

[Image: Syfy]

Hani 

Red: Werewolf Hunter

"Red: Werewolf Hunter" (2010, Sheldon Wilson,Chesler/Perlmutter Productions) is a werewolf film with a little twist of Little Red Riding Hood thrown in there. It's also a made-for-TV film, so don't go in expecting any high calibre writing.

The lovely Felicia Day plays Virginia 'Red' Sullivan, a descendant of Little Red Riding Hood and a werewolf hunter. It seems the wolf that ate up Grandma in the fairytale was actually a lycanthrope and now it is the destiny of Little Red's descendants to maintain order with the wolf's kin.

Unfortunately, it would seem Red is in love with Nathan (Kavan Smith) and has accidentally brought him home to be turned. Can she and her family save her fiancé? And even if they do, can he deal with a werewolf hunting, kick ass ginger chick for his bride to be? And, even if he can, does she really want this jerky numbskull for a husband anyway?!

Certainly an interesting angle, the film is let down with the usual bad scripting that goes hand in hand with any Syfy Production, and some bad acting. Although, I think one is maybe the symptom of the other...

With some very amicable werewolf effects, the monster element certainly pleases in that lovely cheesy TV horror kind of way, but some clumsy editing, hit and miss soundtracks and boring character-building dialogue kind of detract from what could have been a perfectly fine mediocre film about an attractive red head in a leather jacket killing rampaging migrant werewolves...

[Image: Syfy]

Hani