Zombeavers

"Zombeavers" (2014, Jordan Rubin, Epic Pictures Group, Armory Films, Benderspink, Hypotenuse Pictures) is a horror comedy about zombie beavers.

A group of college girls go out to a riverside cabin to forget about their man troubles only to be shortly joined by said men. Sadly for all involved, the river is home to a band of ravenous and bloodthirsty zombie beavers...

A campy film which, in the style of Sharkando, knows it and thrills in it's stupidity. While it's not the best nature fights back horror comedy out there, I enjoyed it. There's bucketloads of blood, a host of ridiculous action (the beavers cut the phone lines.... The BEAVERS cut the phone lines....), puns, and a few tongue-in-cheek nods to 'Jaws'. It's a good brainless summer romp.

All the characters are worth your contempt. Not a single one of them has any redeeming properties. However, this is perfect for this kind of movie. I don't want to see them succeed; I want to see them being eaten by ridiculously unrealistic zombie beaver handpuppets!

It's not big, it's not clever and it's proud of the fact. Perfect crappy movie for a night in with friends and a pizza.

[Image: Epic Pictures Group, et al]

Hani

 

Black Sheep

"Black Sheep" (2006, Jonathan King, The New Zealand Film Commission, Icon Productions) is a horror comedy about killer-zombie-were-sheep.

Henry (Nathan Meister) has a sheep phobia. Which is a shame because he comes from a long line of sheep farmers. He's returned home to the farm to arrange land ownership with his sheep farming brother, Angus (Peter Feeney). Unbeknownst to Henry, Angus has been doing some mad science as well as sheep farming and has created some Jekyll and Hyde style potion which turns sheep into carniverous killers who's bite turn humans into deformed, blood thirsty, man-sheep hybrids. Henry must face his phobia and help fight to restore normality.

A fairly creative concept with a lot of gore and some fun puppetry. Sadly, I just didn't find the farce funny and the script didn't really merit a feature-length film.

The characters were annoying. I get the whole idea that the tree-huggers were meant to be annoying, but really the half-assed hippy banter got irritating after the first half.

The pacing was also not great, and there wasn't enough humour to keep it going.

Not funny, not clever, not engaging. I really don't understand all the online rave reviews out there!

[Image: The New Zealand Film Commission]

Hani

The Bay

"The Bay" (2012, Barry Levinson) is a found footage 'mock-umentary' about the ecological side-effects the human race is having on the globe, and is pretty much a nature-bites-back-film.

Based in a small American Seaside town called Chesapeake during their 4th of July celebrations, we watch through the confiscated found footage of the inhabitants and a small student news blog as the town falls into chaos when a terrifying menace begins threatening the lives of the townspeople.

I'm not usually fan of found-footage, but I'm happy to report that "The Bay" is a winner for me. It was gross, scary and had a plot. While it's evidently a platform for Levinson to preach a little about global pollution and governmental transparency, it does so with style and excellent effects.

Some good old jump scares keep the pace, while we also get a lot of disturbing visuals and an engaging and almost 'mystery'-like slow reveal of the true cause of the panic and deaths.

While it's certainly no "Jaws", it's a really good yarn. Hey, and Kirsten Connolly from "Cabin In The Woods" is in it!

Hani