The Axiom

 "The Axiom" (2018, Nicholas Woods, Axiom Movie Production Co.,  Phoenix Down Films) is a supernatural horror film.

Mackenzie (Hattie Smith) and Martin (Zac Titus), along with some friends, head out to the National Park searching for their missing sister. They seek the help of local man, Leon (William Kircher), who should have been a dead giveaway at best that they were headed towards danger. With wild abandon for their safety, and any thought for their companions, Mackenzie and Martin dive right in.

Upon following Leon's directions, they find themselves in a hidden alternate dimension within the woods, where strange whispers, violent apparitions and possessed friends threaten their lives and sanity... 

A film with a  excellent premise but a mixture of arduous pacing and a lack of monsters rob this film of some of its promise. It does, however, have some fun with its cast and keep a couple of twists fairly well. Also, when we do finally get some monsters they are pretty well done.

 "The Axiom" is worth checking out and I enjoyed Kircher's menacing performance as devious harbinger, Leon.

[Image: Axiom Movie Production Co. & Phoenix Down Films]

Hani

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

"Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday" (1993, Adam Marcus, New Line Cinema) is the ninth film in the franchise, which, including "Freddy vs Jason" and the 2009 reboot, now contains twelve films in total. It is also not the first in the list to claim to be the "final" (see 1984's "The Final Chapter").


The oft resurrected, hockey-masked antagonist, Jason Voorhees (Kane Hodder), is killed by an FBI operation. Once in the morgue, however, the wiley undead killer manages to possess the coroner and go on a rampage through the town, jumping from body to body in the process. Hunting him down is bounty hunter, Creighton Duke (Steven Williams), who believes that someone of Jason's bloodline can be the key to his final demise. If he's right, however, they could also be the key to Jason resurrecting himself in a brand new body....


A schlocky film that doesn't waste any time with a lot of character building and goes straight into the gore and killings. It's chock full of hints to other franchises too with an Evil Dead Necronomicon at Camp Crystal Lake which has since been explained as an Easter Egg justification for Jason's strength and longevity, and, of course, a small cameo from Freddy Krueger... well, part of him, anyway, as a lead-in towards the 2003 film.


It's a definite B-movie sequel with lots of cheesy dialog, some scenes that drag on and a meandering plot that does not always navigate plot holes well. We also, obviously, miss our physical Jason-stalking as he possesses others throughout the film. While the gore is fun and the characters ridiculous enough to be entertaining, the film as a whole is definitely not one of the better Friday entries.

[Image: New Line Cinema]

Hani

The Ritual

"The Ritual" (2017, David Bruckner, Entertainment One, Imaginarium Productions) is the film adaptation of the novel by Adam Nevill.

A group of friends go on a hiking trip in the Swedish Wilderness to honour the tragic death of their friend. However, the trip goes from melancholy to menacing when they become lost and begin to realise that they are being chased by a dark and powerful presence in the forest.

"The Ritual" is good for a number of reasons and I'm going to try and get these down with as few spoilers as possible. But, as ever, if you'd rather not know any details before watching I recommend you click away now because there's lots of things I want to say about this film.

Firstly, the film (and I also assume the book, but I'm yet to read it, having only learned of its existence through researching this film) explores a lot of deep stuff. Our main protagonist is Luke (Rafe Spall) who witnessed the murder of his friend, Robert (Paul Reid), first hand and was spared a similar fate only by hiding. Throughout the film we see that Luke is haunted even before the forest with his deep guilt over not doing more to save Robert. He's a broken man who hasn't yet started to deal with what's happened. We also get to learn, as the group's friendships unravel in the stress of survival, that he's not alone in blaming himself for Robert's demise. The main journey of the film becomes not just survival of the forest, but of being a survivor ultimately and pushing past guilt to move forward in life. It's a strong message and "The Ritual" handles it well and with care. Luke is no hero. He's not even a particularly charming or likeable character. He's just a guy trying to live with what's happening. And I found that to be very effective and kind of refreshing.

Our other college buddies consist of; charismatic leader, Hutch (Robert James-Collier); quiet but funny Phil (Arsher Ali) and; the guy who doesn't really want to be there at all, Dom (Sam Troughton). The group dynamic is good and the team come across as genuine old college pals all moving on in their lives. We get a hint of everyone's fears in the movie and the characters are rounded enough to care about. Although personally I feel Phil was a bit short changed in the end.

Now to tackle what I really liked about the film; The scares. It's not a huge dialogue driven piece and the strong visuals make this a good thing. There's been a lot of 'thoughtful' 'quiet' horror recently that's more boring than artfully chilling, but "The Ritual" delivers its scares with style. The setting (actually Romania) goes from beautiful and picturesque to menacing and dark very nicely. We have some horror tropes in the form of spooky signs and abandoned cabins that don't feel overdone and are plot-relevant. We even have a skilful build up of our main antagonist from glimpses through the trees to a full on reveal that is both still scary and wonderfully designed. There are jumps and gore, freaky dream sequences, perilous situations and mythology.

The plot moves along at a good pace and the story actually develops as we go without just repeating the same style of scares over and over again. There are, of course, weaker points but they're all pretty arbitrary. Really, in my view, this film deserves lots of praise.

[Image: Entertainment One, Netflix, et al]

Hani

The Presence

"The Presence" (2010, Tom Provost, Khartoum, Saturn Harvest Films, Flatland Pictures, Lionsgate) is a quiet, eerie ghost story.

A woman (Mira Sorvino) is staying at a secluded cabin to get away from it all. She is being stalked by an apparition (Shane West) who has taken up residence in the cabin. When the woman's boyfriend (Justin Kirk) turns up unexpectantly to surprise her, the ghost becomes more possessive, jealously trying to keep the woman for himself.

A quiet film that needs your attention to have impact. The ghost wonders around in the background, following the woman as she goes about her day. Although she can feel that there's something there, she is unable to see him.

As time goes on, and especially as their peace is broken by her boyfriend's sudden arrival, the ghost begins to step up his haunting and the woman also begins to behave more erratically as a result.

The film is slow, quiet and eerie without much dialogue. The scenes are beautifully captured and somewhat melancholy in essence. Although I enjoyed it, despite its slow nature, the ending is somewhat muddled and didn't match the rest of the film, which was a little disappointing.

More of a contemplative and mysterious thriller than an exciting horror, it's definitely not one for everyone. And the lack of explanation within the plot could be a sticking point for some viewers.

[Image: Lionsgate, et al]

Hani

Cabin Fever (2016)

"Cabin Fever" (2016, Travis Z, Armory Films, Contend, Pelican Point Media, IFC Midnight) is the remake of Eli Roth's movie of the same name and premise from 2002. Roth produced this remake, but it still doesn't really explain why it was made...

A group of fairly unlikeable young people go up to stay at a secluded cabin in the woods to party. The kids are soon exposed to, and eaten quickly alive by, a flesh eating virus which pretty much ruins their plans.

Z used a slightly modified version of Roth's original script and so the film is almost a direct remake of the original, but without some of Roth's gory humour. Essentially, the film is neither as gruesome nor as good as the original because it takes itself too seriously. The characters are completely disposable because they're just pretty horrible people and the locals are equally so. Deputy Winston, this time a female portrayed by Louise Linton, was a fairly inspiring deviation from the original and took that specific element in a new direction, but essentially the film as a whole is serviceable but fairly forgettable. I just can't fully fathom why they decided to make this remake in the first place!

[Armory Films, et al]

Hani

Creep

"Creep" (2014, Patrick Brice, Blumhouse Productions, The Orchard) is a found footage film.

Cameraman for hire, Aaron (Patrick Brice), takes a mysterious job with a guy called Josef (Mark Duplass) for $1,000 for a full day's work. He drives up to a cabin in the woods and meets Josef there. Josef is a strange, uncomfortably overly-familiar man who explains that he is dying from a brain tumour and would like Aaron to help him film a video for his unborn child. Josef is weird, but he seems sincere, and $1,000 is a lot of money for just a little bit of weirdness, so Aaron takes the job.

Josef asks Aaron to film him doing some pretty nutty stuff, but nothing so serious that Aaron runs off. Then Josef insists that Aaron come in for a drink before setting off, you know since they're besties now. Aaron unwillingly agrees and soon finds that Josef is even stranger than he first envisaged. He cannot shake his new friend, the police will not take him seriously and it seems like Josef is getting more and more intense.... But is he truly dangerous? Or just slightly unhinged?

Although slow burning, this found footage film manages to be engaging and uncomfortable to watch. Duplass gives a stellar and unsettling performance as the creepy, compulsive liar and I found myself really feeling for the confused and frightened Aaron. I'm not really a fan of found footage films, but this one does well as it maintains a linear viewpoint and perspective: we don't go jumping from medium to medium.

A surprisingly effective amount of tension is successfully built through the film as Josef becomes more and more creepy. And, despite not being a gory film, it manages to have a chilling and memorable quality.

I also appreciated that this film was centred around masculine characters instead of the old damsel in distress chestnut. I think it really made for a different kind of film than I went in expecting.

[Image: Blumhouse Productions, et al]

Hani

The Hallow

"The Hallow" aka "The Woods" (2015, Corin Hardy, Fantastic Films, Occupant Entertainment, Entertainment One) is an Irish-British film set in Ireland.

Adam (Joseph Mawle) and Claire (Bojana Novakovic) Hitchens have just moved into a remote, woodland house in Ireland with their newborn baby. Adam, a conservationist, finds a horrific mould nearby and brings a sample home. Big mistake. His family's very presence has enraged something living in the woods and now he's invited it into his home...

A film of several parts: a relationship drama about moving home, changing career and getting used to parenthood; a dark fantasy with unnatural forces; a body horror; and a home invasion. Overall the film has some really striking imagery, a fabulous, muted setting, a lot of atmosphere, pretty effective make up and effects and the jarring use of sound is also effective. However, it suffers from a slow plot which doesn't knit completely together.

Essentially, this film has a lot of really amazing components, but as a stand alone feature it's not as effective as it could be. It bodes extremely well for Hardy, however.

[Image: Fantastic Films, et al]

Hani

Zombeavers

"Zombeavers" (2014, Jordan Rubin, Epic Pictures Group, Armory Films, Benderspink, Hypotenuse Pictures) is a horror comedy about zombie beavers.

A group of college girls go out to a riverside cabin to forget about their man troubles only to be shortly joined by said men. Sadly for all involved, the river is home to a band of ravenous and bloodthirsty zombie beavers...

A campy film which, in the style of Sharkando, knows it and thrills in it's stupidity. While it's not the best nature fights back horror comedy out there, I enjoyed it. There's bucketloads of blood, a host of ridiculous action (the beavers cut the phone lines.... The BEAVERS cut the phone lines....), puns, and a few tongue-in-cheek nods to 'Jaws'. It's a good brainless summer romp.

All the characters are worth your contempt. Not a single one of them has any redeeming properties. However, this is perfect for this kind of movie. I don't want to see them succeed; I want to see them being eaten by ridiculously unrealistic zombie beaver handpuppets!

It's not big, it's not clever and it's proud of the fact. Perfect crappy movie for a night in with friends and a pizza.

[Image: Epic Pictures Group, et al]

Hani

 

Mama

"Mama" (2013, Andrés Muschietti, Guillermo del Toro, Toma 78, De Milo Productions) is a supernatural horror based on a 2008 short called "Mamá".

Jeffery D'Asange has lost everything financially in the banking crisis and, in a fit of despair, he kills his business partners and his wife and runs off with his two young daughters to a cabin out in the woods where he plans to kill them and himself too. Unbeknownst to him, the cabin is already occupied by something otherworldly, and this otherworldly thing (which calls itself Mama) is all about the crazy maternal instinct, so you can bet your boots that old Jeff doesn't get to off his kids.

The kids are still missing five years on and Jeff's twin brother, Lucas (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), has been looking for them with the help of a search party. They're eventually found still residing in the cabin, but are now completely feral.

After a battle over rights with his sister in law's mother, Lucas and his rock chick girlfriend, Annabel (Jessica Chastain), bring little Victoria (Megan Charpentier) and Lilly (Isabelle Nélisse) to live with them. The only thing is, Mama also tagged along with the girls and she doesn't like to share....

I'm going to jump in first and say that I enjoyed this film, but I wasn't scared by it. It's nicely shot. Annabel and Lucas were relatable and were rounded enough characters. Although, speaking as a rock chick myself, I was a bit disappointed that Annabel was painted as non-maternal quite so much at the start with her 'rock 'n' roll lifestyle' being blamed primarily for this. Thanks for playing to the stereotype, guys, but I don't see anything wrong with enjoying Slipknot and being a mother!

Some of the scenes with Mama are great. She is hidden most of the time and I enjoyed her sneaking about in the background. There are scenes where she quickly crawls about and it is very effective. However, the end scenes showed too much of her and she comes to the same fate as the monster in Jeepers Creepers; less scary. Although there is a hella dark end to this film.

The kids nailed it. They were great. Victoria made a realistic and sympathetic character and Lilly was very convincing and freaky as the feral child. Child centred horror is almost always effective, but the scenes with the kids playing with Mama are haunting in their creepy, creepy innocence.

So yes, it didn't make me wet my pants and it didn't make me check under the bed for creepy, skinny monster mothers, but it was an engaging hour and forty-odd minutes, and I would happily watch it again in the future.

[Image: De Milo Productions, et al]

Hani 

Don't Blink

"Don't Blink" (2014, Travis Oates, EchoWolf Productions, Engine Film Group) is a suspense horror about a group of young people (not that young) who drive up to the countryside to an idyllic cabin resort for the weekend. Only, there's no one to check them in, no other guests, no wildlife and no signs of a struggle.

A movie which is a victim of itself. It has the promise of a creep factor and a good base concept. Unfortunately, the base concept never develops into anything more than an idea jotted on a scrap of paper during a meeting, and the character development is just not good enough to make me care about the characters' situation.

They are all pretty much asses. We learn early on that they're also irresponsible (who goes up the mountains without stopping for fuel?!). In fact, the best bit of character development is a rather chilling and brutal descent into madness. That is by far the best and most impressive scene of the film.

But the slow pace, lack of any action for a good while and the fact that nothing is explained at all. No tidbits. No revelations by our characters. Nothing. Doesn't build mystique for me, it just left me feeling bored and empty like I'd just wasted 2 hours of my life.

Now, it's not awful. It's beautifully shot, with a nice location. Mena Suvari is in it. And there are some hints at darkness that whetted my appetite for that complete lack of pay off.

There are messages scrawled in blood that our characters fail to notice. There are some good gore scenes and there are even a few truly humorous moments.

Unfortunately, this does not override the complete lack of anything at the end of this film and the unsatisfying feeling it left me with. Nope. It wasn't a chilling, ground breaking plot it smacked of lazy writing.

It's a shame, too. Doctor Who had built up so much promise around the phrase "Don't Blink".

[Image: EchoWolf Productions]

 

Hani

 

The Evil Dead

"The Evil Dead" (1981, Sam Raimi, Renaissance Pictures, New Line Cinema) is the entry level cult horror B-movie masterpiece by Sam Raimi and the main reason that both Raimi and Bruce Campbell are household names.

A group of college students head out to spend the weekend at a cabin in the woods. When they get there they find the cabin is run-down and creepy. I love the scene with the swinging bench, it's very effective.

While investigating their new surroundings, they come across an audio player with a tape recording and a creepy old book which looks to be bound in human skin.

Being adventurous young people, they listen to the tape recording and accidentally release the demonic spirits (aka Deadites) into the woods. The demons then take turns possessing the teens and traumatising them or killing them in fantastically b-movie ways.

The most serious of the series, The Evil Dead remains one of my favourite horror films to date.
I recommend reading Bruce Campbell's book, "If Chins Could Kill" to get more behind the scenes appreciation of how hard those guys worked to make this film!

Disturbing and gross, with homemade special effects, crafty camera work, sheer determination and the ability to talk his friends into landing face down in muddy puddles and spend days in an old derelict shack making monstrous noises and giggling maniacally, Raimi created the film that would make him a horror legend and earn his reputation as a director. And it would kick start the movie career of one of my favourite horror stars, Bruce Campbell, earning him a dedicated fanbase of nutjobs.

Milk oozing deadites for the win!

[Image: Renaissance Pictures]

 

Hani

Honeymoon

"Honeymoon" (2014, Leigh Janiak, Fewlas Entertainment, Magnolia Pictures) is a slow burning film.

 

A young newlywed couple head off to a cabin in the woods for their honeymoon away from it all. However, the romance soon succumbs to horror when Paul (Harry Treadaway) wakes to find his wife, Bea (Rose Leslie), gone from her bed. He runs out to find her, and things spiral downwards from there. What is watching them through the windows at night?

 

A slow and dull film which, although an impressively shot piece considering its meagre budget, takes way too damn long to get started. I'd also decided within 2 minutes that the "bubbly" Bea was more annoying than quirky. 

 

A really good idea that just doesn't reach any satisfying fruition, the only gore comes too late on to save it. It plays out more like a build up to something much bigger and then doesn't deliver. And after a while the feelings of tenseness and unease are lost.

 

The acting is good, however. And I do love it when movies star a hot red-headed female lead.

 

[Image: Fewlas Entertainment, Magnolia Pictures]

Hani

 

Torment

"Torment" (2013, Jordan Barker, Filmmax Intrernational) is about a father, Cory (Robin Dunne), and his son who go up to their holiday cottage with Cory's new, young wife, Sarah (Katharine Isabelle), in an attempt for young Liam to bond with her. So far, it's not going well.

Things are bound to get worse, however, when they discover that people have been squatting in their home... Recently.

Upon checking out their only neighbouring cottage and finding it suspiciously empty, Cory becomes concerned. But soon, a shocking turn changes the family's lives forever when they discover that they have become the latest hunted prey of an insane family of teddybear mask-wearing killers, hellbent on torture.

A fast and well executed affair with a surprisingly low budget and a good amount of gore, violence and actual characters.

Katharine Isabelle is a favourite of mine and she portrays a fantastically believable female character who is both terrified but capable and doesn't spend the whole flick either screaming or inexplicably kicking ass as if she's Buffy Summers.

Dunne creates a good father character, humanised by his desire to both welcome his new wife into his home and desperate for his son to accept her.

The kid is fantastic. He's a little shit, but he's got good reason.

On the whole the action is great. I wasn't too excited about the reasoning behind the masked 'father's' obsession with tormenting people and building his own little death family, but watching the aftermath was fun.

A film that does what it sets out to do without getting too precious about it.

A definite highlight at Glasgow Film4 Fright Fest!

 

[Image: Filmmax International]

Hani

The Hills Run Red

"The Hills Run Red" (2009, Dave Parker, Dark Castle Entertainment, Warner Premiere) is a twisted slasher with a bit of a sick dig at its fans and fans of horror in general.

Tyler (Tad Hilgenbrink) is an obsessive horror fan. In fact he's obsessed with one particular horror film; a 'lost' film by a director, Concannon (William Sadler), who swiftly disappeared after making it.

In an attempt to find the missing footage and put a rest to his obsession, Tyler, along with his two friends, Serina (Janet Montgomery) and Lalo (Alex Wyndham), track down the director's stripper, junkie daughter, Alexa (Sophie Monk) and head out to the site of the film. All the while filming themselves and laughing merrily about how this is just like the start to... well, a horror film!

And wouldn't you know it? Things go awry. Very awry.

Bending the rules and breaking the fourth wall creatively, this film manages to be a gore soaked torture and mystery film in the way that the first "Saw" movie managed, but perhaps with less brains behind the plot.

Aside from the viewer prodding plot, there are some very good tropes in this film. The masked killer, Babyface (portrayed by Raicho Vasilev, Danko Jordanov and Itai Diakov), is a good one. The legend behind him isn't too important, but the disturbing physical appearance of our killer coupled with the 'reality' we discover is truly grotesque. The mask itself is beyond creepy and he also manages to effect that hulking but sad character that's often associated with masked slasher villains. He also threatens people by pointing a gun at his own head which makes.... what kind of sense?! But somehow works...

Our director is wonderfully psychotic. And that's as much as I'll say about him.

While I didn't feel particularly vested in the characters, the end scenes are really horrific and I have to hand it to the writers, this is a twisted little plot.

It's worth a see for some good kill scenes, a lot of gore, a bit of mystery and an incredible slasher mask!

[Image: Dark Castle Entertainment]

 

Hani

The Blair Witch Project

"The Blair Witch Project" (1999, Eduardo Sánchez, Daniel Myrick, Haxan Films, Artisan Entertainment) is one of the first Found Footage horror films I'd ever heard of.

As a teen I thought this film was scary. As an adult I'd say it was more atmospheric and some very good, realistic acting. The dialogue seems genuine and so doesn't have the forced feeling that some modern attempts have achieved.

Three students go missing in the woods while filming a documentary about local legend, The Blair Witch. All that was found was their footage.

The filming is very handycam, but not as purposefully shaky as some of the more modern attempts. The characters are surprisingly well rounded too, considering that we only really know them from their banter amongst themselves.

When the scary stuff starts it's not as graphic or as scary as we're used to, but the build up is actually quite impressive, propelled by Heather Donahue's tearful performance as she breaks down.

The main issue, despite the lack of actual physical scares, is that we are watching hand-filmed footage and so do not see much straight, head on action. While this can be used to affect (See "Rec"), it can be disorientating. Mainly I found it distracting. I'm not a huge fan of found footage.

However, the creep factor is definitely there and although it won't have you chewing the cushions, if you turn the lights out it will definitely please the casual horror film viewer.

I just laugh to think of all the hype at school about how it was all 'real'.

[Image: Haxan Films]

Hani

Dead Mary

"Dead Mary" (2007, Robert Wilson, 235 Films, Alarco Ent., Genius Product) is about a group of young people who head to a remote cabin in the woods for a drunken reunion now that they're all older and working. However, once together they begin to play dares. One such dare being to each head into the bathroom and chant 'Dead Mary' in the mirror three times to call on the cursed spirit.

I expected more from this film if I'm honest. It took forever to get started! I've never seen a forest/camping horror movie take so long to get some carnage on the screen!


Even when they did begin the "Bloody Mary"/"Candyman" knock off game, it was all tension with minimal payout and kind of left me wishing I'd watched "Cabin Fever" instead...

The characters are the usual unlikeable archetypes, but with more moaning than I'm used to.  

Not only are all the good bits off screen, there is no sign of a creepy 'Dead Mary' ghost anywhere and instead they tried to recreate the Evil Dead's deadites rather than do the sensible thing and have a creepy Onryo-esque chick in white, covered in blood, hunting them all down.

Professionally filmed and the acting is good. But, the film is just generally disappointing.

[Image: 235 Films]

 

Hani

Evil Dead (2013)

"Evil Dead" (2013, Fede Alvarez, Rodo Sayagues, Sam Raimi, Bruce Campbell, FilmDistrict, Ghost House Pictures, TriStar Entertainment) is the remake/reboot/sequel of the classic 1981 Raimi film.

Finally, I got around to seeing this!

Well, what can I say, as much as I missed Ash greatly, (Evil Dead without Bruce's fabulous on-screen presence is just never going to cut it for me) I have to give credit where credit is due, this film is brutal. Gory doesn't even begin to describe this film.

While gory, though, I wouldn't say it terrified me more than it had me awestruck at the sheer brutality of the special effects. It is safe to say that this film is disgusting, but in that special way that gorehounds love. It's well made, the special effects are brilliant and, while the characters all seem to exhibit some form of the original Ash character in one way or another, they hold pretty well for a splatter film and the actors and actresses' performances are excellent.

Changing the plot slightly to a bunch of friends (and a brother) trying to save their friend/sister from her lethal drug addiction, saved this film a lot. Had they tried to rehash the whole original Evil Dead plot I would have been sorely disappointed. But I rather enjoyed this new plot with its several well-placed nods and homages to the original films. Instead of recreating the first or second films they altered just enough to make this version a film in its own right.

I would also have to commend this film on its sheer energy, which is also reminiscent of the original two films. Truly an unrelenting torrent of blood and insanity, it barely gives the audience breathing space to recover from each scene without losing any of that agitating, squirmy appeal.

While it will never replace the original film for me, and certainly with the straight-faced quality of the storytelling it will never become one of my must-watch-several-times-a-year films, "Evil Dead" really brings everything it promised to the table: gallons of gore, creepy demonically possessed twenty-somethings, a suitably nostalgic cabin, tree rape and a lot of nice jumpy bits. Definitely something to see, even if you're not a gorehound.

[Image: Ghost House Pictures & TriStar Entertainment]

Hani

The Howling (1981)

"The Howling" (1981, Daniel H. Blatt, Joe Dante) is a werewolf movie.

Karen White (scream queen Dee Wallace) is a news anchor-woman on the hunt for a brutal serial killer. When she finally has him cornered, something scary happens and she is left traumatised. The killer is shot dead.

She attends a retreat known as 'The Colony', prescribed to her by her Doctor, Dr. Waggner (Patrick Macnee). The retreat is strange and full of questionable people, including some familiar horror faces. Soon, Karen begins to suspect that something sinister is going on at the Colony, but then again she could just be crazy...

A very slow start marred this film for me somewhat, but the effects and costumes are really excellent (which isn't surprising, considering Mr. Bottin later went on to make all those wonderful nasties for 'The Thing'). 

 The pace is also picked back up at the end.

It's certainly no replacement for 'American Werewolf in London' (made in the same year) as far as werewolf transformation scenes go, but it admittedly had a much smaller budget. With quite a bit of wolfing-out and some really eerie werewolf hands grasping out from dark corners, I'd rate this as one of the best werewolf films out there even today.

Fun and daft, I'm sure a lot of people watch this film just for Elisabeth Brooks' nude scene! But it's really worth a try if you're in the mood for some good, old-fashioned man-eating-lycanthropes.

Hani

Friday The 13th (2009)

"Friday The 13th" (2009, Marcus Nispel, Michael Bay, Paramount Pictures, New Line Cinema, Platinum Dunes) is the remake of the first four original "Friday the 13th" films, pretty much, all mashed into one.

Well, what can I say other than, as usual, Michael Bay's stamp has once again brought mostly disappointment to a classic reboot which had so much potential. Although, it's not really his fault. He didn't direct it. It's the man behind 2003's "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake, Marcus Nispel, who did all of that.

I'm just venting here. The main problems with this film is the sheer uncreative pitfalls which it falls into.

I love films which involve teens, cabins, woods, mishaps and murder. But, I also like a little bit of something different in there, too. "F13 Reboot" only goes through the motions and ups the sex and gore. The kills aren't tense or scary, and the characters are too same-y and obnoxious. I refuse to believe that all floppy haired boys in America are complete douche-bags!

The kills feel like they are just checking off the list and often I found myself sighing audibly and just waiting for the scene to end. I'm usually the relishing type. 

Jason is excellently played by Derek Mears, a mountain of a man, who gives us a faster-moving, thinking Jason Vorhees, still with menacing demeanour. The main fault in the Jason character is his severe lack of good lurking. Sure, he's lurking but he's too obvious, and where's the creepy 'from Jason's perspective' bits?

The film starts at the end of the original film, but also covers two separate groups of teens.The characters are disposable as hell, which is handy as they get disposed of as fast as hell!

The grounding point of the original F13 films is that Jason died because camp counsellors were drinking and having sex, instead of looking after him. And so, there's plenty of boobs and there's more sex scenes than horror... And who doesn't like a bit of beer pong and (slightly safer than real life) danger can?

The gore is good, even if the kill scenes themselves are just boring, long and nothing to write home about. But there's too much going on and just generally the film feels like an empty, oversexed gore-fest without any real comedic breaks (even if they do try hard to create this in three characters).

Of course, I can't really fault the acting, which, for an F13 film is excellent. Mainly because the actors playing the 2 Dimensional slasher fodder this time are actually known. Oh, and naturally, I do love Jared Padalecki, who makes this film flow a lot better than it would have otherwise as he searches for his missing sister (from the set of teens who were camping).

Now, I'm not saying it's anything worse than some of the other "F13"s out there, because, like all horror franchises, they jumped the shark so high they ended up in space... Quite literally, see 'Jason X'. 

Plus, we get to have the hockey mask!

But it's nothing new, and apart from being a vehicle for some young actors, a string to the director's bow and a fab creative project for the special effects guys, this film holds nothing I care about and probably doesn't even appeal to the teens of today, who should, in my view, really be made to watch the originals anyway! Give me a grainy, dirty, low budget slasher flick over this film any day.

First they beheaded his mother, now they're stealing his wild-growing weed!

Hani

Evil Dead II

"Evil Dead II" (1987, Sam Raimi, De Laurentiis Entertainment Group, Renaissance Pictures, Anchor Bay Entertainment) is the second original "Evil Dead" film, which coincidentally happens to also be a bigger budget remake of the original film.

Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell) and his girlfriend Linda (Denise Bixler) are on their way to a remote cabin in the woods for a little romantic weekend. During their celebrations they come across a tape recorder and Ash decides to play the recording aloud. The recording is by the archaeologist who owns the cabin. He has uncovered a text known as the "Necronomicon Ex-Mortis" or book of the dead, and reads it aloud on the recording. The reading summons the evil spirits of the Deadites, who possess the living, turning them into evil demonic creatures. Linda becomes infected by the spirits and, while defending himself, Ash is forced to kill her.

Heartbroken and terrified, Ash attempts to avoid the evil spirits as he begins to spiral into madness in the cabin. But his descent into the crazy is interrupted when the archaeologist's daughter Annie (Sarah Berry), her boyfriend Ed (Richard Domeier), Jake (Danny Hicks) and his girlfriend Bobby-Joe (Kassie Wesley) join the party. They soon wind up as demon fodder, as they try to survive and kick some demon ass.

A humorous version of the original film, small details like book titles add some nicely placed snigger points throughout. Where the first version was loud, the second is louder, but much more self-aware. Ash's character is more developed and likeable, and the action is gory and fun. I do love a bit of Bruce-Campbell-Vs-Bruce-Campbell, and also, there's less on-screen tree rape in this version, which I have admit is a plus point for me.

Campbell excels in this film with a truly brilliant performance and a high, to the brink of lunacy, energy. He seems to relish the role. Plus, his arms are pretty toned. I have to appreciate these things in life!

By far my favourite of the three "Evil Dead" films, I could watch this one over and over again!

Who's laughing now?!

 [Image: Anchor Bay Entertainment]

Hani