I Sell The Dead

"I Sell the Dead" (2008, Glenn McQuaid, Glass Eye Pix) is a horror comedy about grave robbers.

Arthur (Dominic Monaghan) is visited by Father Duffy (Ron Perlman) to take down his last words before he is executed for the crimes of murder and grave robbery. Seeing no reason for not sharing his side of the story and seeing his last opportunity to state his innocence of murder (but not grave robbery; that he did do... a lot), Arthur describes his life as the young apprentice of grave robber Willie Grimes (Larry Fessenden), his on-going career and the events leading up to his and Willie's arrest. Oh, and his frequent adventures with the undead.

Although silly and chalk full of cheesy scenes and action, it's a fun little flick that doesn't quite break through into anything amazing, but keeps viewer interest enough to be entertaining. The characters are funny and outlandish and the almost horror anthology style of story telling splits up the incidents as the interview goes on. I also enjoyed the inclusion of Angus Scrimm (of Phantasm fame) as the devious blackmailer, Dr. Quint.

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

"Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things" (1972, Benjamin 'Bob' Clark) is a low budget zombie movie from the man who later brought us 'Black Christmas' and 'Porky's'.

A theatre group lead by a contemptible actor called Alan (Alan Ormsby), sail out to a secluded island graveyard for the night. What begins as a bit of fun ends up going too far when Alan digs up the body of a man called Orville (Seth Sklarey) and then proceeds to perform a ritual supposedly to raise the dead. As the night go on, some of the group become unhappy with the lack of respect they are showing to Orville's body, but it's not long before they have bigger worries when the other underground island tenants begin to rise....

A cheesy horror mostly cast with Clark's friends and college classmates. The acting and scripting are not exactly stellar, but the film manages to cross the so-bad-it's-good-line and venture into cult territory. There's surprisingly little gore but some fun action scenes with zombies attempting to enter the caretaker's house in which the group are hiding.

A great film title, but the plot is just very, very weird and macabre. I'm still not sure why these people would continue to play along with Alan's antics. Personally, I'd rather get fired from the theatre company. But then, I'm not an actress trying to make it in the industry.... A good 70's schlock-fest for movie nights, but don't expect too much.

Hani

Return of the Living Dead

"Return of the Living Dead" (1985, Dan O'Bannon, Hemdale Film Corporation, A Greenberg Brothers Partnership, Orion Pictures) is a horror comedy about zombies. And punks.

We follow the misadventures of a medical supply warehouse foreman, Frank (James Karen), and his new employee, Freddy (Thom Mathews) when they accidentally release a poisonous gas which both kills the living and reanimates the dead... After escaping the warehouse full of newly animated, hungry cadavers with their boss, Burt (Clu Gulager), they seek the help of the local mortician, Ernie (Don Calfa). The mortuary is unfortunately a bad refuge from the dead, however, due to its close proximity to the graveyard where, amongst other things, a group of teenage punks are having a party...

A fun film with practical effects that are an excellent blend of gruesome humour. The script is witty and well paced satire with enough horror in there to merit this film as a genuinely good genre film as well as a good comedy. The film also enjoys a great soundtrack and some scream queen goodness from Linnea Quigley as punk rocker, Trash, who quickly loses her clothing upon entering the graveyard.

Aside from the fun, goopy, grossness and cheeky nude scenes, the film also manages to branch into some quite deep subject matter with an almost heart-breaking few scenes focussed on some key characters actually slowly and painfully becoming the shambling undead, and a few nods to government conspiracy.

An exciting and remarkable film that really embodies what horror comedy is capable of at its best.

[Image: Hemdale Film Corporation, et al]

Hani