Patchwork

"Patchwork" (2015, Tyler MacIntyre, Infinite Lives Entertainment) is a horror comedy inspired by various Frankenstein tropes.

A self proclaimed mad scientist (Corey Sorenson) reanimates a corpse made of three different women:
- snooty business woman, Jennfer (Tory Stopler),
- bimbo with a heart of gold, Ellie (Tracey Fairaway), and;
- shy-but-unstable, Madeline (Maria Blasucci).

The woman-women then go on a rampage while they try to work out what's happened to them and how to cope with their new normal... and also to hook up with a guy called Garret (James Phelps) who tries to help them out.

A fun and imaginative take on the popular Mary Shelley-esque tale. Well made and engaging, the film keeps you smiling as you go and doesn't outstay its welcome at 1.5hrs.

Lots of visual gags and a couple of thoughtful moments amongst the mayhem as well as the memorable line "my favourite colour is sparkly".

[Image: Infinite Lives Entertainment]

Hani

The Eyes of my Mother

"The Eyes of my Mother" (2016, Nicolas Pesce, Borderline Presents, Tandem Pictures, Magnet Releasing) is a black and white horror drama about trauma.

Francisca's mother (Diana Agostini), an ex-surgeon from Portugal, teaches the young girl (Olivia Bond) about anatomy. One day, a creepy stranger (Will Brill) asks to use the family's bathroom. Against her instincts, Francisca's mother lets the man into the house, where he brutally murders her. Francisca's father (Paul Nazak) comes home and beats the murderer bloody before dumping him in the barn - An event that the murderous intruder will live to deeply regret. Francisca (Kika Magalhães) grows into a disturbed young woman, with an unusual fascination with death...

A slow burning film punctuated with disturbing scenes of suggested  mutilation and gruesome ideas. Francisca is a lonely girl, who's young experiences with horror have left her broken and unfeeling. There's a lot of unsettling content in this film.

Despite this and despite Magalhães' engaging performance as the main role, the film does suffer from being so slow and quiet, however, its bat-shit, mental content makes up for this in abundance. A truly awful vision.

[Image: Magnet Releasing, et al}

Hani 

Nurse 3D

"Nurse 3D" (2013, Doug Aarnioski, Lionsgate) is a sexploitation 3D film about a psychotic nurse who likes to murder cheating men.

Abby Russell (Paz de la Huerta) is nurse of the month at the hospital she works in. She's also a murderer who specialises in killing cheating men using her medical knowledge and access to surgical equipment and drugs.

She takes a young trainee nurse, Danni (Katrina Bowden) 'under her wing' in the weirdest way and becomes obsessed with her. She then finds out that Danni's stepdad is cheating on her mother, and takes it upon herself to brutally murder him. When this, shockingly, doesn't win Danni over she then begins framing Danni as a paranoid reactionary by baiting her and denying it to the cops and doctors. But as Danni digs deeper, she begins to find out more about Abby's dark past.

The film is really bloody and enjoys a few good kills, despite having a low budget. It also makes the most of its sexploitation genre with Paz casually lounging about in her apartment knickerless and running about essentially nude whilst gore soaked.

The acting, however, is distractingly bad. I haven't seen many of Paz's other films, but her slow, pouty way of talking in this film, whether intentional character mannerisms or not, got dull after a while.

After reading the synopsis I was looking forward to a batshit crazy, gore soaked roller coaster, but I found myself getting a little bored. Either way, it's a film about a murderous nurse with impressive assets, splashing gore all over the place and wearing very little. If that's what you're going in for, you are getting your tuppence worth, if I'm honest.

[Image: Lionsgate]

Hani

Goodnight, Mommy

"Ich Seh, Ich Seh" aka "Goodnight, Mommy" (2015, Veronika Franz, Severin Fiala, Ulrich Seidl Film Produktion GmbH) is a slow burning horror from Austria.

Lukas (Lukas Schwarz) and Elias (Elias Schwarz) are twin boys who have come to live with their mother in her ultra-modern, secluded house. Their mother (Susanne Wuest) has undergone some serious facial surgery and the boys begin to suspect that the person under the bandages is not actually her.

A really quite disquieting film with a horrifying and engaging plot. The boys and Wuest give a really excellent performance as the dysfunctional family. The viewer is intrigued as the strange scene becomes more and more disturbing until the boys are forced to find answers.

Nicely simple effects, slight variations on horror tropes and a secluded setting give this film a quiet and suspenseful, arthouse-y feel.

I really enjoyed this film and it left me with a slightly ghostly feeling which was hard to shake,

[Image: Ulrich Seidl Film Produktion GmbH]

Hani

Excision

"Excision" (2012, Richard Bates, Jr., BXR Productions, Anchor Bay Films) is an odd film about a creepy teenaged girl with delusions of becoming a surgeon.

Pauline (AnnaLynne McCord) is an 18 year old girl who lives with her overbearing, religious mother (Traci Lords), her scaredy cat father (Roger Bart) and her bright and friendly younger sister, Grace (Ariel Winter), who has cystic fibrosis.

Pauline is an odd girl with ratty hair, an angry demeanor, a history of bad behaviour and a serious lack of moral compass. She aspires to become a surgeon and experiences sexual excitement from blood, conveyed to us her disturbed dreams. She also enjoys practising her surgical technique on herself and on roadkill. The only person who likes her is her younger sister who's health is quickly failing her.

Pauline is an eccentric, mentally disturbed outcast. The character should echo Carrie, but McCord's sinister performance and creepy 'makeover' really create a different kind of antagonist. Unlike in Carrie, Pauline isn't really a victim, although she is still a missunderstood girl. Pauline doesn't care that she's outcast, she doesn't have any remorse and she doesn't comprehend that what she's doing is wrong (why would she, she's cleared it with god first?!).

The gory dream scenes are odd. While they show the diversity of McCord, they lost my interest after a while, but they are very beautifully shot.

The build up is slow, but I enjoyed the journey with this creepy girl. Her demented beliefs and delusions become evident early on, but the finale is really hard-hitting. Not for the faint hearted, this teenage psycho-drama/dark comedy is an interesting watch. Like Carrie meets Donnie Darko, but with less superpowers and more gore.

Not everyone's cup of tea, but interesting in its uniqueness.

[Image: Anchor Bay Films]

 

Hani