Chopping Mall

"Chopping Mall" aka "Killbots" (1986, Jim Wynorski, Concorde Pictures) is a cheesy 80s B-movie horror about some teens who get locked inside a shopping mall and are being hunted by the mall's futuristic, robotic security guards.

Like Robocop's demented half cousins who failed the police academy entrance exam one too many times, these 'state of the art' security robots had trouble written all over them. From the lasers (why, even?) to their menacing look, these polite little guys were clearly going to rampage. I don't think they even needed lightening to help them go nuts!

The music is so 80s it actually hurts and the teens are suitably annoying enough to be robot fodder. The plot is simple and functional and the action is hilarious. We have head explosions, death by fire, laser beams, shoot outs and panic attacks. It's really just a perfect example of how so-bad-it's-good B-movies should be done.

Entertaining!

[Image: Concorde Pictures]

Hani

Pacific Rim

"Pacific Rim" (2013, Guillermo del Toro, Legendary Pictures, Warner Bros. Pictures) is a big budget blockbuster monster movie.

A world war begins when colossal alien monsters (Kaijus) emerge from a rift under the sea and begin to attack humanity. In an attempt to fight back, the humans create enormous robotic suits (Jaegers) which can be controlled by two pilots who have shared their minds and memories to act together as one massive soldier. The apocalypse looks set to happen... Can they stop it?

It seems like your average Giant Monster movie but I found it to be so much more than just a love letter to Godzilla or Cthulhu.

For one thing the characters are rounded and feel very real.

Even the comic relief characters; the hyper monster-awestruck scientist Dr. Newton Geiszler (Charlie Day known best for his role as endearingly disgusting Charlie in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia") and his stiff upper lipped rival/partner Dr. Hermann Gottlieb (Burn Gormann - Owen from "Torchwood"); have a much larger role to play in the film than first appears and are both humorous and layered. It seems even when Charlie isn't Charlie he's still stuck doing Charlie Work!

And of course Ron Perlman's character, Hannibal Chau, just adds a creepy layer of humour and class. Not to mention his natty golden toe'd shoes. There's a bit of shoe thing going on in this film...

For another thing the special effects are wonderful and the fight scenes use minimal shaky cam, letting the viewer enjoy the action without feeling sea sick and unsure of what the hell is going on.

The whole film knits together very well and the design of each monster has a horrific charm of its own.

The acting is spot on for all of the characters and I really enjoyed that the script touches upon dark elements without being just another dark and gloomy heroic action epic. I mean, Batman's great and all, but I'm getting bored of broody protagonists with a 'dark past'...

Becket (Charlie Hunnam) and Mako's (Rinko Kikuchi) paring works excellently and you find yourself not just routing for them, but their whole team, especially also their dedicated commanding officer Stacker Pentecos (Idris Elba).

A great switch-off-your-brain-and-enjoy monster movie with some very human undertones and one I recommend seeing!

[Image: Warner Bros. Pictures]

Hani

Class of 1999

"Class of 1999" (1990, Mark L. Lester, Lightning Pictures) is a low budget science fiction set in a violent, dystopian world. I've just learned that this is a sequel to another movie by Lester called "Class of 1984", so I'll have to go hunt that one down and see if it promises to be as much fun as this one was.

The world has become a chaotic and violent place with youth gang activity and drugs making whole areas no-go-zones for the police. Teens still seem to turn up to school though, although mainly only as a kind of social meeting place.

Dr. Miles Langford (Malcolm McDowell), principal of the local high school, has had enough and has brought in external help from a weird, mullet-sporting robotics specialist, Dr. Robert Forrest (Stacy Keach). Forrest has supplied the school with new android teachers who will delve out punishment to unruly students.

But when the punishments turn into death sentences followed by all out war, the students have to team together to stay alive!

A hammy effort with lots of hokey, wannabe-terminator special effects, I can't fault this flick for an excellent 'bad movie' night.

The street gangs look a lot like the New Romantics and Peter Pan's Lost Boys got into a fight and both lost. Between the terrible one liners, hilarious outfits and Pam Grier's robotic boobs, I'd say this film is going to be a new favourite for me and my friends for bad movie night! How could I not have heard of this cheesy badness before?

[Image: Lightning Pictures]

 

Hani