Freaky

 "Freaky" (2020, Christopher Landon, Blumhouse Productions, Divide/Conquer, Universal Pictures) is a horror comedy.

Millie Kessler (Kathryn Newton) is a typical movie high school teenaged girl... she's also the school team's mascot. After getting within stabbing distance of murderer and local urban legend, The Blissfield Butcher (Vince Vaughn), she wakes to discover that she has traded bodies with the madman and is now faced with navigating life as a middle aged, wanted man while said man's consciousness is cavorting around town in her body! 

A hilarious and well-crafted horror comedy from Landon, who also brought us the amazing "Happy Death Day" franchise. The film takes the well-known concept of "Freaky Friday" and adapts it for a slasher film experience with such wonderful ease and tongue-in-cheek hilarity. 

Vince Vaughn excels as Millie, bringing humour and heart in equal measure and then is equally terrifying as The Butcher. Similarly, Kathryn Newton, gives an excellently disturbing performance as The Butcher, countered by her time on screen as Millie.

A fun premise that delivers exactly what you want from it and in a way that is completely rewatchable. I love a good horror comedy and this is a good horror comedy.

[Image: Universal Pictures]

Hani

Snatchers

"Snatchers" (2019, Stephen Cedars, Benji Kleiman, Warner Bros.) is a horror comedy about teen pregnancy.

Sara (Mary Nepi) is enjoying her senior year as a popular girl in school. But upon having sex for the first time ever with self-centred school hunk Skyler (Austin Fryberger) she wakes up the next day to find that she's suddenly nine months pregnant with an alien child... With the help of her ex-BFF, Hayley (Gabrielle Elyse), she attempts to deal with the situation with as small a massacre as possible (spoiler: it's not small) and without ruining her reputation amongst her new cool pals or revealing her shame to her mother.

With high energy, puppets, tonnes of blood, a great sense of humour and some strong acting from everyone involved, this fun little romp through the dangers of unprotected sex and why you shouldn't touch fragile displays in museums is an entertaining comedy horror which manages to pack a punch.

With shades of Critters, some splashes of Alien and a lot of Mean Girls/Heathers influence, "Snatchers" manages to deliver a cautionary tale without losing the sheer silliness and entertainment factor that the audience comes for.

[Image: Warner Bros.]

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Death Note

"Death Note" (2017, Adam Wingard, LP Entertainment, Vertigo Entertainment, Lin Pictures, Netflix) is an American horror film based on the Japanese Manga by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

Light Turner (Nat Wolff) is a high school student. He's not popular, he's not athletic and he makes cash on the side through doing others' homework. When Light comes across a mysterious notebook and meets the sinister Ryuk (Willem Dafoe), a demonic death god, his life begins to change. Quickly unlocking the secrets of the notebook's power: to kill any individual properly targeted using the book, Light finds a kindred spirit in his crush, Mia (Margaret Qualley), and also attracts the unwanted attention of L (Lakeith Stanfield) , an FBI agent seeking to halt their murderous spree.

Although Light's original intentions may have been good, things become complicated and messy as time progresses and he becomes suspicious that Ryuk may not be on his side after all. The overall taking from this film is the old adage: 'power corrupts'.

The film offers some good qualities: Dafoe's performance as the creepy and charming Ryuk is very effective, and the aesthetics of the film are nicely put together. However, the film attempts to pack so much in to the run time that it feels slightly unfinished and focuses perhaps too much attention on the puppy-love aspect of the sub-plot as opposed to mysteries of the notebook or of Ryuk. The ending is also convoluted and felt unhinged from the rest of the film.

I've learned that as well as removing the story from Japan to suit a more Western audience, the film has made other changes to the plot and characters as to make this version very different from the base material. I am not much of a Manga reader, but I feel intrigued now to search "Death Note" out and give it a whirl, if anything to understand the base material more and perhaps seek a better appreciation for this interesting story.

[Image: Netflix]

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Most Likely To Die

"Most Likely To Die" (2015, Anthony DiBlasi, Snowfall Films, Marvista Entertainment) is a slasher movie about a high school reunion gone wrong.

A group of friends arrange a party the night before their 10-year high school reunion. They soon realise that they're being picked off one by one by a slasher-killer wearing a graduation outfit. Each of them meets their fate in a way related to what they were voted "most likely to..." in their high school year book. The friends begin to suspect that the killer may be a guy who they played a terrible prank on in senior year, resulting in ruining his life... But, how could it be, when they were sure he was dead?

The film has a very 90s feel to it, despite being made in 2015. However, its predictable nature and style wears a bit thin after a while and it become less charming and more formulaic. The characters are very disposable and 2-dimensional, so there's very little emotion invested in their untimely deaths.

All in all, it has a made-for-tv quality that puts it firmly into the teenage-sleepover-party movie box.

[Image: Snowfall Films, Marvista Entertainment]

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Christine

"Christine" (1983, John Carpenter, Columbia Pictures, Delphi Premier Productions, Polar Film) is the film adaptation of Stephen King's novel, "Christine".

I'm on a bit of a John Carpenter kick.

Christine is a sentient 1978 Plymouth Fury car. She's furious and out for blood. Anyone's blood. She is purchased by Arnie Cunningham (Keith Gordon), an unpopular nerdy teen who plans to bring her back to her former glory. Christine is grateful to him. She just likes to show her gratitude in strange ways.... like attempting to murder Arnie's best friend, or his class bullies... Or, well, anyone really. Arnie becomes obsessed with his new metal lady-love and cannot look away.

Although I enjoyed the book and I am a fan of Carpenter's films, I'll admit to being a little bored with this film after a while. The car is pretty and the music is superb, but in the main there's only so much fear that can be derived from an angry killer car with a sarcastic stereo. The action, naturally, becomes very same-y and the film suffers for that in my opinion.

[Image: Columbia Pictures]

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Freaks of Nature

"Freaks of Nature" (2015, Robbie Pickering, Columbia Pictures, Sony Pictures) is a horror comedy set in a town called Dillford where humans, vampires and zombies co-exist together in harmony.... until some aliens show up, that is.

Dillford is famous for riblets... and for having a multicultural society comprised of vampires, humans and zombies. There has never been any issues with each group all cohabiting the town and attending the local high school without issue. It seems that vampire and zombie teens have all the same issues as human teens do (bullying, peer pressure, popularity...etc...).

Suddenly, a horde of aliens appear from outer space and the humans blame the vampires, who blame the humans, and the zombies... well, they're just being zombies... but they're sick of this shit regardless. Brains. Whatever.

The start of the film was surprisingly un-engaging. It set up like any other teen high school film, except with added zombies. The film takes the proverbial out of all the typical classic and modern horror tropes. However, once the aliens show up things do become more interesting and the main 3 characters become more than two dimensional.

I have to hand it to Josh Fadem who gave a pretty awesome performance as whizz kid-turned zombie. His background antics in pretty much every scene he was in was really superb.

Whilst it is very tropey and takes a while to get started, the film plays out quite well with a fair amount of gore and comedy value and co-stars a few fun recognisable faces. It's cheesy but I warmed to it as it unfolded. I had worried that it would end up too messy with all the monster mashing (get it?!) but actually it worked out OK. It's a cheesy horror comedy set in a high school. It does exactly what it says on the tin!

[Image: Sony Pictures]

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Ouija

"Ouija" (2014, Stiles White, Platinum Dunes, Hasbro, Blumhouse Productions, Universal Pictures) was last Halloween's rush-job jumper brought to you by Hasbro.... Yep, you guessed it, it's pretty much a really long toy commercial...

Laine (Olivia Cooke) and her best pal Debbie (Shelley Hennig) used to love to play with a ouija board. Then they grew up and got into just filming everything ever (from the mundane tasks of cleaning their attic to their highschool conversations) with a digital camera instead, and the ouija board was banished from their minds.

Unluckily, it resurfaces again when Debbie cleans said attic, and the spirit she contacts with it is less than fluffy. Soon the whole gang are being hounded by this vengeful ghost, but is everything as it seems....?

...Of course it is. This film was nothing but a string of tropes. So predictable was every clichéd scene that my boyfriend and I began shouting out what was coming before it happened in order to actually entertain ourselves.

Another thing is its complete lack of pacing. The film takes forever to get to the point, and then wants to bombard you with typical horror fayre thereafter. By the time the action hit I was bored.

The big 'twist' is so obvious it isn't even worth being wary of spoilers and the teens are extremely catalogue-y.

Generic as all hell. I recommend for teens and sleepovers, and that's all. And, how unscary is the name Doris? Seriously?!

[Image: Hasbro, et al]

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Carrie (2013)

"Carrie" (2013, Kimberly Peirce, Misher Films, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Screen Gems) is the remake of the classic 1976 film and is also based on the 1974 Stephen King novel of the same title.

You can find my review of Brian De Palma's 1976 film here

I was unsure of what to expect when they first announced a Carrie remake. Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie had created the characters so well that I couldn't contemplate who could do a better job.

This version remains relatively true to the plot and characterisation, however, it does have several flaws... On the whole, it's a good teen horror flick, but just doesn't pack the punch that the original did.

Carrie White (Chloe Moretz) is a young, naive schoolgirl who is bullied at school and is victimised by her extremely religious and troubled mother (Julianne Moore).

The flaw here is that Moretz is textbook gorgeous with very clearly dyed hair... something I doubt Carrie White would have access to. But she gives an excellent performance, switching from tearful to panicked to angry very convincingly. Her being so nice and normal looking makes it slightly more difficult to empathise with her as the victim, however. She looks like she should be popular.

Whilst the terrible relationship between mother and daughter is definitely captured, this version doesn't show as many of the small scenes which really built up the angst that the older film does. Moore gives a stellar performance as the mother, however, and really gives Laurie a run for her money! Absolutely terrifying!

Small nuances and details are present throughout the film which really give a nice edge. Things moving slightly around Carrie for instance before she sets her powers loose.

Carrie, knowing nothing of bodily functions and puberty, is panicked to find herself bleeding from below in the locker room. She is ridiculed by her hateful classmates and is saved only by her gym teacher, Miss Desjardin (Judy Greer), who appears to be the only person remotely on her side.

The updating of the story is done quite well, with mobile phones, YouTube, etc... managing to add to the plot rather than detract from it. The styling of the film is very High School Musical though, and often you began to think you were watching "Mean Girls" more than a retelling of a modern classic.

Life is seeming to turn around for Carrie, however, when a boy asks her to prom. The prom scene was good. It wasn't as good, in my opinion, as the '76 version though. It lacked some of the build up that the older film possesses and we were disappointed to see so much apparent CGI in the blood scene. But on the whole, it got the point across: Carrie has been pushed too far and now she knows just what to do!

The effects on the whole are excellent. There's even some nicely placed gore and a fair bit of action.

I found the ending to be a slight disappointment though. Crucial things were skipped and I just didn't get the same thrill as the old one gives.

On the whole: excellently acted, nicely pieced together and with nice special effects. Moretz plays the part well, but I think her look was a bit too pretty for the character. It all seemed a bit pointless remaking it though, when the original is still very poignant to this day. And it didn't do anything so fabulously different to merit a remake!

[Image: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer]

Hani

End Call

"End Call" (2008, Kiyoshi Yamamoto, Monte Cristo Entertainment, T.O. Entertainment) is a Japanese tech horror. 

A group of schoolgirls come across the Devil's phone number and discover if you phone it at midnight he will grant your greatest wish at the cost of taking the duration of your call from your lifespan. Naturally, he's like a crappy text message Wishmaster, so nothing you wish for ever works out well for you.

The film is not in chronological order and jumps back and forth a lot. It's also not terribly scary, which I was disappointed with considering how freaky some other larger budget J-Horror films are!

The action scenes are few and far between and there's a lot of quiet dialogue. 

One thing the Devil also seems to excel at is running up a large phone bill for his callers, so one girl resorts to becoming a hooker to pay her bill...

Most of the girls' problems are trivial teen girl issues. "Oh, I don't have a boyfriend.", "I'm not popular" and such, although there was a chilling scene with an abusive father that gets his comeuppance. 

Quite an average film and not the best introduction to J-Horror, so if you're new to the genre I recommend watching "One Missed Call" or "The Ring" instead (and no, I don't mean the American remakes!).

Sometimes a film's obscurity is for a reason...

 [Image: T.O. Entertainment]

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Return to Horror High

 "Return to Horror High" (1987, Bill Froehlich, New World Pictures) is about a low budget horror movie set which is set up at the abandoned Crippen High School to make a film about the mysterious murders that happened there five years prior. However, whilst filming, several crew and cast members mysteriously disappear. Could the murderer still be on the loose?

An odd film, I had been told it was going to be ‘right up my street’, but sadly it was more of a cul-de-sac on a few rows up from ‘my street’. Sure it’s corny, cheesy, pretty wooden, full of unabashed innuendo, blood soaked and benign, but it’s also boring and I like my cheesy horror comedies to be... well... funny!

I was surprised to find a young George Clooney in it though!

A few good scenes are ruined by long intervals of boredom, but it was a valiant attempt at a change in the stagnant genre that is the ‘Teen Slasher’.

Having the killer in yellow marigold gloves, though, that is just genius and if you’re in the mood for something random and a bit different this could be the one for you!

On the whole it’s a bit of a mixed bag and definitely lives in the what-the-hell-did-I-just-watch?! pile.

[Image: New World Pictures]

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Class of 1999

"Class of 1999" (1990, Mark L. Lester, Lightning Pictures) is a low budget science fiction set in a violent, dystopian world. I've just learned that this is a sequel to another movie by Lester called "Class of 1984", so I'll have to go hunt that one down and see if it promises to be as much fun as this one was.

The world has become a chaotic and violent place with youth gang activity and drugs making whole areas no-go-zones for the police. Teens still seem to turn up to school though, although mainly only as a kind of social meeting place.

Dr. Miles Langford (Malcolm McDowell), principal of the local high school, has had enough and has brought in external help from a weird, mullet-sporting robotics specialist, Dr. Robert Forrest (Stacy Keach). Forrest has supplied the school with new android teachers who will delve out punishment to unruly students.

But when the punishments turn into death sentences followed by all out war, the students have to team together to stay alive!

A hammy effort with lots of hokey, wannabe-terminator special effects, I can't fault this flick for an excellent 'bad movie' night.

The street gangs look a lot like the New Romantics and Peter Pan's Lost Boys got into a fight and both lost. Between the terrible one liners, hilarious outfits and Pam Grier's robotic boobs, I'd say this film is going to be a new favourite for me and my friends for bad movie night! How could I not have heard of this cheesy badness before?

[Image: Lightning Pictures]

 

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Carrie (1976)

"Carrie" (1976, Brian De Palma, United Artists) is the movie adaptation of Stephen King's novel of the same name.

The story, in case you've been living under a rock, is about Carrie White (Sissy Spacek); a strange and put-upon misfit teen with no friends or social skills who's mother is an abusive and unsupportive religious nut.

Carrie's mother (Piper Laurie) tells her nothing of puberty and thinks of everything to do with anything to be unclean and sinful. And so, when Carrie finds herself bleeding from an intimate place in the girls' shower room at school she panics and is resultantly ridiculed by all of her peers until a well-meaning teacher, Miss Collins (Betty Buckley), intervenes.

Throughout the film timid young Carrie becomes stronger and begins to exhibit telekintetic powers which finally manifest with tragic consequences after the bullies (including John Travolta) get the better of her in the infamous Prom scene.

A great book and an equally great adaptation, I really like this version. Spacek's performance as Carrie is really excellent, especially in that tear-filled slow motion prom scene. Typical of King stories, however, I would say it is not scary in a conventional sense... well, except for that key iconic end scene. That hand coming from the grave always gave me the chills as a kid!

Looking forward to the remake to compare.

[Image: United Artists]

Hani

Detention of the Dead

"Detention of the Dead" (2012, Alex Craig Mann, Gala Films) is a high school comedy zombie movie.

The term 'comedy' is used loosely, in that this shallow attempt at yet another zombie comedy falls pretty much on its face.

It's detention time at high school and 6 misfit teens are ready to spend it together. We have all the standard teen characters: goth chick, nerd, cheerleader, stoner, popular dude, varsity jacket dude.

Unfortunately for all of these unfortunate teens, the school has become infected by a zombie virus and even more unfortunately, someone in detention also has it. It isn't long until they're haring around the school trying to survive and find a means of escape.

Now, all that doesn't sound too awful, does it? But it's just so uninspired. From the half-assed Buffy references to the fact that the popular teen couple are called Brad and Janet just rung hollow to me. Maybe it was just that out of a day of pretty good horrors this attempt came last and it was 1am and I was out of wine, but I just didn't feel it.

Overdone, under-funny and nothing new, this film will doubtlessly land in the humongous boiling pot with all the other thousands of zombie comedy films out there. My advice? Stick on Shaun of The Dead, Wasting Away or Zombieland and enjoy some creativity.

[Image: Gala Films]

Hani

Jennifer's Body

"Jennifer's Body" (2010, Karyn Kusama, 20th Century Fox) is the story of a maneater.... literally.

Megan Fox stars as Jennifer Check, the popular cheerleader type who attends high school along with her nerdy BFF, Needy, aka Anita Lesnicki (Amanda Seyfried) in a small American town where there is little entertainment. We learn at the beginning of the movie that this is a flashback in the mind of Needy, who is now in an insane asylum.

A 'big city' indie band, Low Shoulder, on the way up randomly decides to play in their small town bar, so the girls and most of the school go along for the gig. Tragedy strikes, causing many casualties, and the oddly calm and collected band mates 'save' Jennifer in their van while Needy refuses the lift.

The town is devastated with the deaths and casualties of the gig, but Jennifer seems quite different. See, she's now become a demonic succubis who feeds on men, after the band traded her soul in order to improve their career. See, this is why it's usually virgins who are sacrificed!

In order to stay beautiful, Jennifer must feed, so she makes short work of picking off some key men-folk from the senior buffet.

Needy becomes suspicious after a ravenous and not-so-human Jennifer spews some prickly gunk in her kitchen.... and begins trying to work out what's going on.

But it all becomes personal when Jen turns her attentions to Needy's boyfriend, Chip (Johnny Simmons - yes, Young Neil from Scott Pilgrim!).

This movie's bad in a good way, fitting in nicely with my love of B-Movies. The only characters worth liking are Chip and goth-kid Colin, and naturally they are on Jennifer's menu. That's not to say that Megan Fox isn't any good; she successfully gives the audience what they want - a sexy, demonic she-bitch.

I think you're meant to side with Needy, but I just ended up feeling the character fell a bit flat. She's been Jen's sidekick and punchbag for so long, and now she's meant to finally be becoming her own self, but instead she tries to take it all on alone. I think this was meant to show her unravelling etc... but instead she just seemed to be flustering about. Hmm...

Needy is eventually blamed for the whole incident, hence her current location... And there's a random side effect giving her super powers which was clearly only added to enable the end scene. However, the gore is medium, the scares are not many but the film is entertaining, if not scary. And it's one of the few horror movies which keeps my horror-hating boyfriend happy! Oh the powers of a sexy female protagonist!

[Picture: 20th Century Fox]

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