We're All Going to the World's Fair

 "We're All Going to the World's Fair" (2021, Jane Schoenbrun, Love In Winter LLC, Dweck Productions, Flies Collective) is a found footage/online footage, coming-of-age film.

Casey (Anna Cobb) is an awkward, lonely teenager who decides to complete an online viral creepypasta style challenge called "The World's Fair" on her video streaming channel. She carries out the ritual-like instructions and then continues to film her experiences to see what happens. Over the course of the film, a mysterious man going by the name JLB (Michael J. Rogers) contacts her apparently concerned for her well-being. We also see flashes of other streamers' experiences after doing the challenge. Primarily, we only really see the online content of the characters, which is clearly intentional as part of the narrative. We never truly meet 'Casey' or 'JLB' outside of their virtual worlds so our opinions of them are based on very limited information.

Full disclosure; I'm not overly fond of found footage films in general. Occasionally, one will really stand out for me and grab my attention (see "Hell House LLC", 2015 or "Death of a Vlogger", 2020), but they're not "my thing" as a rule. I think if you are a big fan of that genre, or even enjoyed the more art-house off-key surrealist tone of films like "The lighthouse" (2019) you might get more out of this film than I did.

Overall, I found the disjointed storytelling style to be distracting and dull. The film is more of a drama than a horror (which certainly isn't a bad thing), although there are a couple of small nods to a possible body-horror story being in there somewhere. I personally find watching the awkward footage of Casey dancing and the girl with the fingernails mumbling "sshhh, sleep" to be uncomfortable to watch and overly long, and not in a way that would make the film interesting or cerebral. I just feel like I stumbled onto that part of TikTok where I'm too old to really get it and too young to be blissfully unaware of it. And, considering I've been on the internet since my early teens (circa 2003), I don't think that's actually the case here. 

But, that's more my problem than the film's and a more contemporary audience might find this style strikes a chord for them. The biggest issue I have with it is that I was bored and by the time we reached the 'twist' I'd already lost interest and was just feeling grateful that the run time was a nice, old fashioned 86 minutes. 

That being said, as a genre fan, it's delightful to see a film of this kind getting so much attention. There's certainly a hype around this film right now, and I truly hope it delivers for others where it failed for me. I can appreciate a likely candidate for future cult classic when I see one.

There's a message in there about not believing everything you see online, about cultivating your own online reality, the temporary nature of many internet relationships and about being careful online etc... but I found it be a bit garbled on first viewing and this isn't a film I'd choose to revisit. 

Definitely worth checking out but likely to be a 'marmite' viewing experience.

[Image: Love in Winter LLC, et al]

Hani

Freaky

 "Freaky" (2020, Christopher Landon, Blumhouse Productions, Divide/Conquer, Universal Pictures) is a horror comedy.

Millie Kessler (Kathryn Newton) is a typical movie high school teenaged girl... she's also the school team's mascot. After getting within stabbing distance of murderer and local urban legend, The Blissfield Butcher (Vince Vaughn), she wakes to discover that she has traded bodies with the madman and is now faced with navigating life as a middle aged, wanted man while said man's consciousness is cavorting around town in her body! 

A hilarious and well-crafted horror comedy from Landon, who also brought us the amazing "Happy Death Day" franchise. The film takes the well-known concept of "Freaky Friday" and adapts it for a slasher film experience with such wonderful ease and tongue-in-cheek hilarity. 

Vince Vaughn excels as Millie, bringing humour and heart in equal measure and then is equally terrifying as The Butcher. Similarly, Kathryn Newton, gives an excellently disturbing performance as The Butcher, countered by her time on screen as Millie.

A fun premise that delivers exactly what you want from it and in a way that is completely rewatchable. I love a good horror comedy and this is a good horror comedy.

[Image: Universal Pictures]

Hani

Hell Fest

"Hell Fest" (2018, Gregory Plotkin, Tucker Tooley Entertainment, Valhalla Motion Pictures, CBS Films, Lionsgate) is a slasher film set at a Halloween theme park.

A group of teen friends visit the Hell Fest themepark together, enjoying their VIP passes. However, they soon notice that they are being followed by The Other, a masked man. Is it just another of the park's entertainment or have they attracted the attention of a serial killer?

While the film is serviceable, it is largely trope-ridden. The scares don't always successfully land and you don't get to know any of the characters well enough to make them much more than slasher fodder. The killer himself is also fairly forgettable and lacks any interesting quirks or characteristics that would let him in with any chance of joining the slasher villains' rogue gallery. It is nice, however, to see a film not just falling into the 'the park staff are in on it' story.

The festival itself looks fun and is a great scene for this type of story. The set design and range of horror themes threaded through the theme park are really well done and make the film worth seeing for that element alone.

All in all, it's not very original but is worth checking out if you're a slasher fan looking for something new to watch.

[Image: Tucker Tooley Entertainment, et al]

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Annabelle Comes Home

"Annabelle Comes Home" (2019, Gary Dauberman, New Line Cinema, Atomic Monster Productions, The Safran Company, Warner Bros. Pictures) is the seventh film in The Conjuring Universe created by James Wan and is the third feature film centred around the haunted doll, Annabelle, whom we were introduced to in the original The Conjuring and who is based on an actual case by the real life Ed and Lorraine Warren.

Starting from the doll being taken from the young nurses in the first Conjuring film, we follow her home to Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) Warren's locked room full of other haunted artefacts. Some time later, the Warren's daughter, Judy (McKenna Grace), is being babysat by family friend, Mary Ellen (Madison Iseman) and her friend, Daniela (Katie Sarife). Unfortunately, it turns out that Daniela had other, more personal reasons for tagging along and she breaks into the artefact room searching for a way to contact the spirit of her father. Unwittingly touching everything and anything she can lay her hands on, Daniela also releases Annabelle from her blessed case allowing the doll to wreak havoc on herself, Judy, Mary Ellen and Mary Ellen's admirer, Bob (Michael Cimino) who had come to the house to serenade Mary Ellen in a badly timed attempt at seduction.

A really fun entry into a series that I feel was getting pretty tired. The very limited setting of the Warren's house makes for a good old fashioned spook house feel and the scare scenes are, in usual Wan style, well portrayed and effective. The fact that Annabelle is given the power to raise other spirits nearby makes the variety of ghosts attacking the teens and kid pretty diverse. Personally, I enjoyed the first Conjuring but felt a little cold on the subsequent films, but I found this film to be a fun ride and the first, since the original film, to spark some life back into the creepy little doll despite the doll herself getting very limited screen time. It's jumpy and a little silly - just what I wanted out a spooky doll film.

[Image: New Line Cinema, et al]

Hani

Critters Attack!

"Critters Attack!" (2019, Bobby Miller, New Line Cinema, Warner Bros. Television) is the fifth film in the Critters horror comedy franchise.

We follow the story of Drea (Tashiana Washington) who reluctantly agrees to babysit the kids of a college professor, hoping that this might increase her chances of being accepted to the school. She, her little brother, Philip (Jaeden Noel), Trissy (Ava Preston) and Jake (Jack Fulton) come across an injured white female Krite in the forest and unwittingly take it with them which makes them a target for the other, more violent Krites who chase after them, killing and eating everyone and everything in their path...

It was fun to see the Krites back to their usual menacing and humorous antics and to see Dee Wallace back to battle them after the first film. However, the film didn't quite hold up along with the rest of the series in my view. The kids all deliver good performances with Washington as a good leading lady, but the characters themselves are fairly unlikeable and a bit bland. Characters in Critters films are pretty much just critter-fodder anyway, but it seemed like a missed opportunity considering how much time we spend with the four main characters in the film. They felt like characters written by someone who dislikes children and young adults. Aside from Dee Wallace, there are little to no other ties to the other four films. The film also meanders a lot and seems to run out of steam before its eventual conclusion.

But it is still worth your time, especially if you are a fan of its predecessors. The effects are fun, practical and suitably gory with the familiar glowing red eyes and ridiculous rolling balls of teeth hitting all the right chords. In terms of the creatures themselves and the action delivered, this entry feels very much like a film made for the fans and offers a nice amount of nostalgia.

[Image: Warner Bros. Television]

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Haunter

"Haunter" (2013, Vincenzo Natali, Wild Bunch, IFC Midnight) is a haunted house story with a slant.


Lisa (Abigail Breslin) is a teenager in 1985. She's also dead. Lisa 'lives' in her house with her mum (Michelle Nolden), dad (Peter Outerbridge) and little brother, Robbie (Peter DaCunha) who appear unaware that they are also dead. Lisa's stuck in a Groundhog Day-esque timeloop of the same day; the car is always broken, the laundry is always needing done, dinner is always the same...


When Lisa becomes aware of her predicament, she tries to highlight it to her family but they seem to be oblivious to their situation. Lonely and angry, Lisa begins to try to find out what is going on. She starts to find clues and discovers that she is the ghost haunting the teenager, Olivia (Eleanor Zichy) now living in her room in 2013. To add to this, there may be a sordid history in the house and many other ghosts trapped there... Can Lisa stop it before Olivia's family are doomed to be next?!


A fun little film with a good performance from all of the cast, but especially from Breslin who is a sympathetic protagonist but also a strong character. She manages to walk the line of moody teenager and girl-in-peril without coming across as whiny or overbearing.


While the plot is fairly straightforward and the antagonist suffers from some confusing scenes throughout; the overall film is entertaining and creates an engaging atmosphere. The repetitive nature of the timeloop is something that has been done extremely well before (the previously mentioned Groundhog Day) and since (Happy Death Day). "Haunter" manages this timeloop fairly well also, with slight tweaks in the loop to show progression and just enough repetition to highlight what's going on. It also captures some elements reminiscent of the Amityville House.


"Haunter" nicely tells the tale from the ghost's perspective without getting too caught up in the ghost mythos, and delivers an intriguing little mystery. It's fairly light on the scares, however.

[Image: IFC Midnight, et al]

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Down a Dark Hall

"Down a Dark Hall" (2018, Rodrigo Cortés, Fickle Fish Films, Nostromo Pictures, Temple Hill Entertainment) is thriller-horror based on a teen novel by the same name.

Kit (AnnaSophia Robb) is a difficult teenager who gets in trouble often and does not get on with her parents. So they enrol her in a boarding school called Blackwood for 'gifted' students run by headmistress, Madame Duret (Uma Thurman). Kit and the other teens begin to feel that there is more to the winding halls of the school and soon discover that Blackwood Manor holds some secrets within its walls.

The film is very stylish with a lot of beautiful gothic scenes and some nice creep factor. The characters are fairly three-dimensional and enjoy a nice mix of flaws and charm. And, while it certainly has a teen-horror vibe and the scares are relatively limited, it delivers an entertaining package of weirdness.

The plot does get a little convoluted, however, overall I enjoyed this movie for its entertainment value. And that's what it's all about.

[Image: Fickle Fish Films, et al]

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The Babysitter

"The Babysitter" (2017, McG, Netflix) is a comedy horror with plenty of gore.


Cole (Judah Lewis) is a 12 year old kid who gets bullied a lot at school. His only solace is that his babysitter, Bee (Samara Weaving), is super hot and pretty cool. And she also plays down the part where she's his babysitter. When his parents go on a weekend away, Cole creeps out of bed to spy on Bee and her friends having a party in the living room, but he soon discovers that the teens are up to something much worse than drinking alcohol.... human sacrifice. Can Cole get over his crippling fear of, well, everything in time to save himself? And will he finally get his first ever kiss? Only time will tell in this gory flick.


While it's far from a genre-defining, ground breaking innovation, the film delivers exactly what it needs to; humour, gore and a host of disposable characters who get to die in a bunch of gruesome ways. Our collection of would-be Satan worshippers cover all the usual stereotypical bases (eg. jock, cheerleader, etc...). Only Bee and Cole truly stand out as characters who break stereotype.


The film spends a good while setting up the relationship between Bee and Cole. He fancies her. He's awkward. She's easy going and a little wild. Cole tells Bee all of his secrets, while unbeknownst to him, she uses this against him any way that she can.


When the murder and mayhem begin the film does not scrimp on the gore and we see a lot of innovative kill scenes which expertly mix humour and ick-factor without becoming too silly.
Gore aside, the film also makes use of interesting camera perspective, a lot of 80s-feeling tropes (despite being based in present day) and just enough character depth to instil a sense of betrayal from Bee when we find out her intentions.


All in all, I found "The Babysitter" to be a fun and worthwhile watch which I've even revisited on occasion.

[Image: Netflix]

Hani

A Christmas Horror Story

"A Christmas Horror Story" (2015, Grant Harvey, Steven Hoban, Brett Sullivan, Copperheart Entertainment, Image Entertainment, RLJ Entertainment) is a Christmas anthology horror from Canada.

We follow four plot lines, which are interwoven throughout the run-time by the overarching plot following radio DJ, Dangerous Dan (William Shatner), who is pulling an all-nighter on Christmas eve.

One story follows a group of teens who have broken into a school to make a documentary about two murders which had previously happened there, only to find that there were more than memories left behind.

Another story follows one of the teens from the first story who is unable to go on the adventure because she is taken on a family outing to visit her rich, elderly aunt and accidentally becomes acquainted with Krampus.

A third story follows a young family who venture into private land to illegally chop down a Christmas tree and lose their child. When they find the little boy and take him home, he begins to act strangely and the parents become suspicious that he is not, in fact, their little boy afterall!

The fourth tale follows Santa himself, a burly man (George Buza) who finds that one of his elves has contracted a zombie virus and begins to infect his other helpers.... Going on a rampage through his own workshop, Santa eventually has to face a harsh reality...

An entertaining festive romp that covers all the bases (gore, violence, festive themes) without trying to be too clever. While it doesn't cover any specifically new ground, "A Christmas Horror Story" enjoys some nice plot twists and a good, fast pace that is engaging and intriguing.

[Image: Copperheart Entertainment]

Hani

Death Note

"Death Note" (2017, Adam Wingard, LP Entertainment, Vertigo Entertainment, Lin Pictures, Netflix) is an American horror film based on the Japanese Manga by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

Light Turner (Nat Wolff) is a high school student. He's not popular, he's not athletic and he makes cash on the side through doing others' homework. When Light comes across a mysterious notebook and meets the sinister Ryuk (Willem Dafoe), a demonic death god, his life begins to change. Quickly unlocking the secrets of the notebook's power: to kill any individual properly targeted using the book, Light finds a kindred spirit in his crush, Mia (Margaret Qualley), and also attracts the unwanted attention of L (Lakeith Stanfield) , an FBI agent seeking to halt their murderous spree.

Although Light's original intentions may have been good, things become complicated and messy as time progresses and he becomes suspicious that Ryuk may not be on his side after all. The overall taking from this film is the old adage: 'power corrupts'.

The film offers some good qualities: Dafoe's performance as the creepy and charming Ryuk is very effective, and the aesthetics of the film are nicely put together. However, the film attempts to pack so much in to the run time that it feels slightly unfinished and focuses perhaps too much attention on the puppy-love aspect of the sub-plot as opposed to mysteries of the notebook or of Ryuk. The ending is also convoluted and felt unhinged from the rest of the film.

I've learned that as well as removing the story from Japan to suit a more Western audience, the film has made other changes to the plot and characters as to make this version very different from the base material. I am not much of a Manga reader, but I feel intrigued now to search "Death Note" out and give it a whirl, if anything to understand the base material more and perhaps seek a better appreciation for this interesting story.

[Image: Netflix]

Hani

Wish Upon

"Wish Upon" (2017, John R. Leonetti, Busted Shark Productions) is about the danger of getting what you wish for.

Clare (Joey King) was scarred as a child, finding her mother's body shortly after her suicide. As a teen she has become an outcast, with only a few close friends. When her father (Ryan Phillippe) presents her with a Chinese music box, which he found whilst dumpster diving, Clare is able to recognise one part of the inscription on the side which states "Seven Wishes". As a joke, she wishes for something awful to happen to her school bully and when the event transpires Clare begins to run with it, wishing willy nilly for everything she desires. If only she could work out the rest of the enscription, she might not be so keen...

An overdone premise that could have been a lot of fun, but failed to be either scary nor campy enough to salvage the film. From the trailers I had went in open minded, and hoping for some "Scream"-style teen horror fun mixed with "Wishmaster" and "Bad Girls from Valley High". But unfortunately the delivered material was pretty tame and not too clever. Most of the supporting characters were underutilised and, although King gives a good performance, her protagonist doesn't garner much viewer sympathy because of her actions.

All in all, it is an adequate starter movie for budding young horror fans to cut their teeth on, but it's certainly not the best example of a teen horror out there.

[Image: Busted Shark Productions]

Hani

The Bye Bye Man

"The Bye Bye Man" (2017, Stacy Title, Huayi Brothers Pictures, Intrepid Pictures, Log Angeles Media Fund, STX Entertainment) is a supernatural horror set in a house rented by some American college students.

The film enjoys an exciting and brutal opening where a man toting a shotgun goes around slaughtering his neighbours whilst repeating "Don't think it. Don't say it" and demanding to know if his victims have said "his name". We then shift to present day where three students, Elliot (Douglas Smith), John (Lucien Laviscount) and Sasha (Cressida Bonas), are moving into the house where most of the murders took place 40-odd years ago. The group find all the furniture in the basement (this scene felt like it was going to take a "Cabin in the Woods" turn) including a bedside table with writing scratched into it saying "Bye Bye Man". The table also keeps producing weird old coins.

The group have a party which results in a seance where they basically blurt out the boogeyman's name, releasing him upon themselves. We then spend the rest of the movie watching the group try not to murder each other, while being pursued by the dark, mysterious figure.

There's a whole lot of hate in internet-land for this movie, and I don't feel it deserves it completely. The acting is fine, the characters are developed enough and the setting is spot on.

There's a somewhat weak cop plot line involving Carrie-Anne Moss which could have been more effective, but all in all the movie is just your average, unimaginative teen horror fodder. And that's OK! Movies age, and as an ex-teen horror fiend myself, having more up to date teen horror movies helped introduce me to the genre and then the classics (where I learned that there is much more to horror than a Scream mask). The genre needs these light, silly horrors as much as it needs challenging, mind bending ground-breakers. And, in comparison to some other horrors I've sat through recently, "The Bye Bye Man" is far from the worst. There are a few effective scenes with tiny doors, shadows and dressing gowns (although that last one gets seriously overused). I'd say the effects are familiar and tropey, but have a kind of safe, fun jump-scare charm. Like a horror film with training wheels.

Now, that's not to say it's not got some glaringly obvious flaws. The first, of course, is the title. It's awful. I'm sure they were going for "nursery rhyme horror chic", but what we ended up with is just a crap title for a bad guy. Which leads me on to the Bye Bye Man himself; this character is portrayed by the great Doug Jones. Jones is someone you'll recognise from Hellboy, Buffy, Pan's Labyrinth, Hocus Pocus (to name but a few) and he's a talented, respected character and creature actor. The real tragedy is that he was not utilised nearly enough in "The Bye Bye Man". The character design is dull and tropey and we barely get to see Jones actually do anything in this film. So many missed opportunities!

All in all, this movie does not deserve the ribbing it's getting. It's a bit of a cheesy, throwaway modern horror film that will end up in the 'sleepover horror' box, but it's certainly not the worst attempt I've seen even this year.

[Image: Intrepid Pictures, et al]

Hani

Split (2016)

"Split" (2016, M. Night Shyamalan, Blinding Edge Pictures, Blumhouse Productions, Universal Pictures) is a psychological horror. Not to be confused with either the bowling movie, or the short horror film from 2014 of the same name.

Three teenage girls are kidnapped by a man called Kevin (James McAvoy) who has been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, or split personalities. He has 23 personalities in total. Whilst only some of his personalities actively want to harm the girls, none of them are inclined to help them, fearing rebuke from Dennis; the dominant personality and head kidnapper.

McAvoy delivers such a wealth of talent in this film. Although he is not given opportunity to show all 23 personalities, the ones he does portray on-screen are expertly delivered, very different and so very sinister. It's enough on its own simply to watch him switch between characters and costumes with ease.

The acting from all characters is pretty solid, the main failing for me of this film was the story telling itself. M. Night Shyamalan films can be hit or miss for me. In the main his ideas are excellent concepts, but his twists and turns often feel a little forced and last minute. For me, Split also suffered from this aspect. An excellently quiet, sinister build up suddenly spiralled into a bit of a mess in the pursuit of a twist.

However, overall the film was intriguing enough to engage my attention and the superb acting from McAvoy really keeps you guessing.

[Image: Blumhouse Productions, et al]

Hani

Within

"Within" aka "Crawlspace" (2016, Phil Claydon, Safran Company) is a 'new house' horror set in Suburban America. I say 'new house' horror because it all begins with a family moving into a new house. Genius, right?

A man, his new wife and his daughter, Hannah (Erin Moriarty), move into a new house. Everything seems fine until Hannah notices strange things going on in the house. Of course, her parents do not believe her, especially upon learning that the house has a dark past. Her dad, especially, believes that Hannah is just freaking herself out. But Hannah is convinced that there is a presence within the house and she's determined to put a stop to it.

This film is pretty generic with lots of genre tropes and a few plot twists that weren't particularly effective in grabbing viewer imagination. It plays out as a standard haunted house film which goes through the motions and then takes another avenue that muddies the plot. On the other hand it's far from terrible. The acting is good, and the film doesn't outstay its welcome. It does, however, meander through a plot by numbers and doesn't really break any new ground.

[Image: Safran Co. et al]

Hani

Ouija: Origin of Evil

"Ouija: Origin of Evil" (2016, Mike Flanagan, Allspark Pictures, Blumhouse Productions, Hasbro Studios, Platinum Dunes, Universal Pictures) is a film centred around the Hasbro game, Ouija and is the prequel to 2014's film: "Ouija".

Set in LA in the 1960s, we follow the Zander family: widowed mother, Alice (Elizabeth Reaser) and her two daughters, Lina (Annalise Basso) and Doris (Lulu Wilson). Alice is a medium, giving false seances with the help of her children. She tells herself that her job helps her customers cope with their loss, but she's not completely sure herself. As part of her seance kit, Alice picks up a Ouija board game, however, it turns out that at least someone in the house has actual supernatural talent.... and the Ouija board is about to unleash something dark. And angry....

A sequel that is far superior to its predecessor in plot, action and acting. The film is creepy without feeling too tropey. And while it does suffer some plot flaws nearer the end, the characters are extremely relateable and I genuinely felt remorse for some of their losses. By far the best performance was from the youngest star, Lulu Wilson, who absolutely aced her role.

A really rare return to form after what was a severely blah first movie. Definitely worth a watch.

[Image: Blumhouse Productions, et al]

Hani

Christine

"Christine" (1983, John Carpenter, Columbia Pictures, Delphi Premier Productions, Polar Film) is the film adaptation of Stephen King's novel, "Christine".

I'm on a bit of a John Carpenter kick.

Christine is a sentient 1978 Plymouth Fury car. She's furious and out for blood. Anyone's blood. She is purchased by Arnie Cunningham (Keith Gordon), an unpopular nerdy teen who plans to bring her back to her former glory. Christine is grateful to him. She just likes to show her gratitude in strange ways.... like attempting to murder Arnie's best friend, or his class bullies... Or, well, anyone really. Arnie becomes obsessed with his new metal lady-love and cannot look away.

Although I enjoyed the book and I am a fan of Carpenter's films, I'll admit to being a little bored with this film after a while. The car is pretty and the music is superb, but in the main there's only so much fear that can be derived from an angry killer car with a sarcastic stereo. The action, naturally, becomes very same-y and the film suffers for that in my opinion.

[Image: Columbia Pictures]

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The 5th Wave

"The 5th Wave" (2016, J. Blakeson, GK Films, Material Pictures, Columbia Pictures) is an alien invasion movie.

Cassie (Chloë Grace Moretz) is an everyday teen girl growing up in America with a loving mother, father and little brother, Sammy (Zackary Arthur) but her life is turned upside down, along with everyone else's, when aliens known only as "The Others" invade Earth. Separated in the chaos, Cassie teams up with a stranger called Evan (Alex Roe) to try to reunite with her baby brother and save her crush from the alien invaders.

There's a lot more to it than that, but I don't want to give away any more plot points. I'm not a huge alien-invasion-movie kind of person. I enjoy an alien spoof and an old classic now and again and I of course enjoy Alien, Aliens, Predator, The Thing, et al.... I'm just not super into the whole post-apocalyptic alien invasion epic that seems to be the main stay these days. So perhaps I'm too biased against this sort of film to have enjoyed it. But, I didn't hate it. 

While Moretz provides a sympathetic, realistic and somewhat kickass lead character, the film itself somewhat falls flat with slow disinteresting scenes and some clunky reveals. The military action scenes felt a little too like watching someone play an Xbox first person shooter and the banter was a little bit forced. On the other hand, I haven't read the teen novel it's based off of and perhaps it's true to plot. 

Regardless, even when I was a teen I probably would have been a bit bored with this film by the end.

[image: GK films, et al]

Hani

Freaks of Nature

"Freaks of Nature" (2015, Robbie Pickering, Columbia Pictures, Sony Pictures) is a horror comedy set in a town called Dillford where humans, vampires and zombies co-exist together in harmony.... until some aliens show up, that is.

Dillford is famous for riblets... and for having a multicultural society comprised of vampires, humans and zombies. There has never been any issues with each group all cohabiting the town and attending the local high school without issue. It seems that vampire and zombie teens have all the same issues as human teens do (bullying, peer pressure, popularity...etc...).

Suddenly, a horde of aliens appear from outer space and the humans blame the vampires, who blame the humans, and the zombies... well, they're just being zombies... but they're sick of this shit regardless. Brains. Whatever.

The start of the film was surprisingly un-engaging. It set up like any other teen high school film, except with added zombies. The film takes the proverbial out of all the typical classic and modern horror tropes. However, once the aliens show up things do become more interesting and the main 3 characters become more than two dimensional.

I have to hand it to Josh Fadem who gave a pretty awesome performance as whizz kid-turned zombie. His background antics in pretty much every scene he was in was really superb.

Whilst it is very tropey and takes a while to get started, the film plays out quite well with a fair amount of gore and comedy value and co-stars a few fun recognisable faces. It's cheesy but I warmed to it as it unfolded. I had worried that it would end up too messy with all the monster mashing (get it?!) but actually it worked out OK. It's a cheesy horror comedy set in a high school. It does exactly what it says on the tin!

[Image: Sony Pictures]

Hani

Insidious: Chapter 3

"Insidious: Chapter 3" (2015, Leigh Whannell, Focus Features, Gramercy Pictures, Stage 6 Films) is a prequel to Insidious 1 and is also the directorial début of Leigh Whannell, who not only played ghost-hunter Specs in all 3 Insidious films, but also wrote Insidious 2 and several other James Wan films.

Paranormal expert, Elise Rainier (Lin Shaye), hasn't met the Lambert family yet, but she has just met a young actress called Quinn Brenner (Stefanie Scott), who has been trying to contact her dead mother. Elise tells Quinn that what she has been contacting is not her mother, and asks her to leave the spirit alone as it may be dangerous. Too bad for Quinn, the spirit has heard her cries and is now fixated upon her, and it is definitely dangerous.

A very jumpy film which is technically sound but with an aimless, meandering plot which lost my interest quickly. I found myself only paying close attention when I sensed a spooky bit coming on. The jumps are effectively created, with some unsettling images and some nicely realised effects. The scares are also not too few and are evenly spread. The main issue was that things took a while to get started and, although spooky bits were happening, the plot itself didn't seem to be going anywhere until the last quarter of the film.

A good sleepover film bound to make you jump at least once, but no lingering freaky feeling and by no means the best in the "Insidious" series.

[Image: Gramercy Films]

Hani

Chopping Mall

"Chopping Mall" aka "Killbots" (1986, Jim Wynorski, Concorde Pictures) is a cheesy 80s B-movie horror about some teens who get locked inside a shopping mall and are being hunted by the mall's futuristic, robotic security guards.

Like Robocop's demented half cousins who failed the police academy entrance exam one too many times, these 'state of the art' security robots had trouble written all over them. From the lasers (why, even?) to their menacing look, these polite little guys were clearly going to rampage. I don't think they even needed lightening to help them go nuts!

The music is so 80s it actually hurts and the teens are suitably annoying enough to be robot fodder. The plot is simple and functional and the action is hilarious. We have head explosions, death by fire, laser beams, shoot outs and panic attacks. It's really just a perfect example of how so-bad-it's-good B-movies should be done.

Entertaining!

[Image: Concorde Pictures]

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