Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

"Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" (2019, André Øvredal, Lionsgate, Entertainment One, CBS Films, Sean Daniel Company) is a film based on the series of short stories by Austin Schwartz.

A horror anthology aimed at teens (think "Creepshow" meets "Goosebumps"), the film is surprisingly jumpy and really well put together. We follow Stella (Zoe Margaret Colletti), Auggie (Gabriel Rush), Chuck (Austin Zajur) and Ramon (Michael Garza) who find the book of scary stories by Sarah Bellows, the town's local horror legend, on Halloween night. The stories not only have a horrible way of becoming reality, however, the group discover new stories are still being written from beyond the grave and people they know, including themselves, are the unlucky protagonists... Can they put a stop to Sarah before it's too late?

Although very heavy on CGI which may not age very well in the long run, the film has a neat wraparound story and enjoys a seasonal Halloween theme which could make it a fun addition to annual viewing.

The stories are well adapted for screen from the original tales and even those of us too old to enjoy the childhood nostalgia of the stories themselves, the film still captures the feel of the tales and makes an entertaining 120 minutes.

Our protagonists and even antagonist bully, Tommy (Austin Abrams), feel well rounded and give a good performance in their roles. The late 60s setting of the film seems somewhat incidental, but not the the film's overall detriment. In the main, the adult characters are kept to the periphery and leave the main work to the kids.

I was pleasantly surprised at how good the scares were. The film doesn't seem to shy away from being quite dark and it's certainly a film young me would have loved. For the adult viewer it will feel relatively trope-laden but it's a perfect film for younger horror-hounds in the making who want to see something scary but aren't quite ready for some of the more adult targeted films. It's a good gateway film and could have the staying power for longevity in the future.

[Image: Lionsgate, et al]

Hani

Saturday the 14th

"Saturday the 14th" (1981, Howard R. Cohen, New World Pictures) is a horror spoof film.

John (Richard Benjamin) inherits a house from his uncle and moves in with his wife, Mary (Paula Prentiss), and their kids, Debbie (Kari Michaelsen) and Billy (Kevin Brando). The house isn't exactly what they'd envisaged and, when Billy finds a strange book, things begin to get weirder. To add to their problems, vampire couple, Waldemar (Jeffrey Tambor) and Yolanda (Nancy Lee Andrews), are desperate to get their hands on the house and, more importantly, that book.

John and Mary remain oblivious to all the weird happenings, and begin to plan a housewarming party which will result in some more antics. They also hire an owl exterminator (Severn Darden) to rid them of the strange noises heard throughout the house.... An exterminator who may have more of an idea of what's going on than the family do themselves.

Despite a fair few recognisable talents in the cast, the film can't shake off a distractingly stilted quality. A lot of gags fall a little flat also. However, it's oddly charming, if a little too silly to consider 'so bad it's good'. Not the best horror spoof out there.

[Image: New World Pictures]

Hani 

The Babysitter

"The Babysitter" (2017, McG, Netflix) is a comedy horror with plenty of gore.


Cole (Judah Lewis) is a 12 year old kid who gets bullied a lot at school. His only solace is that his babysitter, Bee (Samara Weaving), is super hot and pretty cool. And she also plays down the part where she's his babysitter. When his parents go on a weekend away, Cole creeps out of bed to spy on Bee and her friends having a party in the living room, but he soon discovers that the teens are up to something much worse than drinking alcohol.... human sacrifice. Can Cole get over his crippling fear of, well, everything in time to save himself? And will he finally get his first ever kiss? Only time will tell in this gory flick.


While it's far from a genre-defining, ground breaking innovation, the film delivers exactly what it needs to; humour, gore and a host of disposable characters who get to die in a bunch of gruesome ways. Our collection of would-be Satan worshippers cover all the usual stereotypical bases (eg. jock, cheerleader, etc...). Only Bee and Cole truly stand out as characters who break stereotype.


The film spends a good while setting up the relationship between Bee and Cole. He fancies her. He's awkward. She's easy going and a little wild. Cole tells Bee all of his secrets, while unbeknownst to him, she uses this against him any way that she can.


When the murder and mayhem begin the film does not scrimp on the gore and we see a lot of innovative kill scenes which expertly mix humour and ick-factor without becoming too silly.
Gore aside, the film also makes use of interesting camera perspective, a lot of 80s-feeling tropes (despite being based in present day) and just enough character depth to instil a sense of betrayal from Bee when we find out her intentions.


All in all, I found "The Babysitter" to be a fun and worthwhile watch which I've even revisited on occasion.

[Image: Netflix]

Hani

Cellar Dweller

"Cellar Dweller" (1988, John Carl Beuchler, Empire Pictures) is my kind of movie. B-movie, that is. Ah, 1988, a fabulous year: I was born and movies like this were being released!

In the '50s, a comic book (definitely not an EC Comic... no...) artist named Colin Childress (the fabulous Jeffrey Combs of "Re-Animator" fame) is brutally murdered when his iconic horror comic characters come to life in his basement studio thanks to his satanic demon A-Z book, and do what horror comic characters do best: violently assault everybody. Because that's not exactly an every day event, he is instead assumed to have committed suicide.

Fast forward 30 years to the '80s and his house is now being used as a retreat, studio and college for young aspiring artists. The college is run by Mrs Briggs (Lily Munster herself, Yvonne De Carlo), who takes an obvious dislike to our picture's heroine, Whitney (Debrah Farentino, then Debrah Mullowney). Whitney is an aspiring horror comic book artist herself with a great admiration for the work (and mysterious demise) of poor old Colin, and can't help herself as she makes all the trademark errors that he clearly had also. Poor Whitney doesn't realise the power of the pen until it is almost too late. But, by then has she gone too far to stop her creations from wreaking havoc?

A fun 80s B-movie that uses some very "Evil Dead" techniques in filming its stalking monster scenes and captures great imagination to work as a film with enough gore, body part munching, demon suits and nude showers thrown in to make it an ideal movie marathon candidate.

Whilst our artists are of a pretty questionable talent (seriously, someone should have told these kids that they were wasting their time and would be better looking for other forms of work!), the film is suitably hokey, funny and chalk-full of green zig zags (80s CGI).

The start credits do drag on for a good while though!

Definitely one for my B-movie vault!

[Image: Empire Pictures]



Hani