Vampires

"Vampires" (1998, John Carpenter, JVC Entertainment Networks, Largo Entertainment, Spooky Tooth Productions, Storm King Productions, Columbia Pictures) is a vampire hunter film set in New Mexico.

Jack Crow (James Woods) is the leader of a group of vampire hunters working for the Vatican. He and his men either use an arrow attached to a winch on their car to drag the creatures into the sunlight or just stake them. Although, they're also fairly fond of firing a lot of ineffectual bullets around the place.

During a rowdy celebration, the hunters are attacked by a Master Vampire named Valek (Thomas Ian Griffith). And the surviving members, Jack and Tony (Daniel Baldwin), escape with a prostitute named Katrina (Sheryl Lee) who is in the process of becoming a vampire. Joined by a young priest called Guiteau (Tim Guinee), they face off against Valek who is seeking a fabled crucifix which can allow vampires to walk in the sunlight. (It seems that Valek beat Spike to the punch by roughly a year).

Not one of my favourite Carpenter films, but the film remains action-packed, violent and enjoys some cheesy one-liners. Both surviving vampire hunters, Crow and Tony, remain flawed heroes in the way that Carpenter excels at creating. They are neither particularly likeable nor are they infallibly skilled. They make mistakes, they treat others cruelly but they're trying to save the world.

Valek is styled in your traditional vampire way with lank dark locks, pale features and a tendency to nibble on young maidens. He does, however, enjoy some fun and brutal fight scenes and sports a particularly deadly manicure.

An entertaining vampire flick that isn't trying to be clever. The Master of Horror has many other films where he offers food for thought, "Vampires" just isn't one of them.

[Image: Columbia Pictures, et al]

Hani

The Void (2016)

"The Void" (2016, Steven Kostanski, Jeremy Gillespie, Cave Painting Pictures, Astron-6) is a Canadian monster movie set in a small town's hospital at night.

We open to an exciting and horrific scene where a man called James (Evan Stern) flees a house while two other men, Vincent (Daniel Fathers) and Simon (Mik Byskov), kill a screaming woman. James is later found by local Deputy, Daniel Carter (Aaron Poole), who takes him to the nearby hospital.

James turns hysterical upon entering the hospital and is sedated by Dr. Powell (Kenneth Welsh). Soon Vincent and Simon appear hunting James. They are closely followed by a Marshall (Art Hindle) and a group of strangely garbed cultists brandishing knives. Aside from being surrounded by creepy, hooded figures, the group are terrified to find that some of them are becoming less than human...

I really wanted to like this movie. The marketing had made it look like an updated answer to Carpenter's "The Thing", but unfortunately, the reality was nowhere near as comprehensive.

The initial build up is excellent: dark, atmospheric and brutal. There's enough going on to get you involved as a viewer, and the characters have just enough screen time to establish their personalities before the real horror begins. The effects are really fun and the action moves... Until it doesn't.

Around the third-way mark we move away from Carpenter and into Clive Barker terrirtory where the plot takes a sudden "Hellraiser"-esque turn and things become bogged down in trying to be artistic and weird instead of scary and weird. Although there is an enveloping theme established, it felt like there had been two concepts and the directors decided to try merging both with disjointed results.

While I commend the technical aspects of the film and the creatures, the story-telling really let it down and we ended up with a muddy, bloody mess that isn't sure if it wants to be a Lovecraftian epic or a gritty, 80s gorefest. With a bit more of a decisive direction, however, the Astron-6 guys will undoubtedly bring us some really great stuff.

[Image: Cave Painting Pictures]

 

Hani

Christine

"Christine" (1983, John Carpenter, Columbia Pictures, Delphi Premier Productions, Polar Film) is the film adaptation of Stephen King's novel, "Christine".

I'm on a bit of a John Carpenter kick.

Christine is a sentient 1978 Plymouth Fury car. She's furious and out for blood. Anyone's blood. She is purchased by Arnie Cunningham (Keith Gordon), an unpopular nerdy teen who plans to bring her back to her former glory. Christine is grateful to him. She just likes to show her gratitude in strange ways.... like attempting to murder Arnie's best friend, or his class bullies... Or, well, anyone really. Arnie becomes obsessed with his new metal lady-love and cannot look away.

Although I enjoyed the book and I am a fan of Carpenter's films, I'll admit to being a little bored with this film after a while. The car is pretty and the music is superb, but in the main there's only so much fear that can be derived from an angry killer car with a sarcastic stereo. The action, naturally, becomes very same-y and the film suffers for that in my opinion.

[Image: Columbia Pictures]

Hani

The Thing (1982)

"The Thing" aka "John Carpenter's The Thing" (1982, John Carpenter, Turman-Foster Company, Universal Pictures) is one of the most defining and masterful pieces from genre great, John Carpenter. I'm a Carpenter fan, but "The Thing" really stands out as one of his finest films. It's also one of my favourite sci-fi films which comfortably straddles the worlds of horror and science fiction.

Based in the Antarctic, a group of American researchers are disrupted by an apparently crazed Norwegian helicopter chasing after and shooting at a dog. The dog is saved, but the Norwegian gentlemen and their chopper are not so lucky. The crew of Americans are shaken, but put the dog along with their own and decide to investigate the Norwegian camp. They send their own 'copter pilot, Macready (Kurt Russell), and camp Doctor, Dr. Copper (Richard Dysart), over to find out what they can but all they find is the burnt remains of the Norwegian camp, some research and a grotesquely misshapen corpse.

Their troubles really begin, however, when they return back to their own base to find that the creature they saved is not in fact a dog and that this Thing is now amongst them....

An intense and well crafted sci-fi mystery with a good cast of three-dimensional characters and some truly disturbing effects (which still stand up today). The plot keeps moving along at a good pace as our team begin to unravel, each suspecting that he is alone amongst imposters. It's a good character study on the human mind's reaction to fight or flight survival. The character banter-turned-bickering really helps hammer home the change in team dynamic, too.

I'll just put my hands up now and admit how much I like Kurt Russell: he is one of my favourite actors. It helps, of course, that he was as handsome as hell in this film, but he really is one talented and very cool guy. Macready loses his shit along with the rest of his camp-mates, but he does it with style and a big hat, and you have to respect that.

"The Thing" remains a disturbing film and, as much as special effects have developed and changed over the years, this film still holds its own and churns the stomach. But it's more than just the effects. "The Thing" creates a tense and uncomfortable atmosphere that draws the viewer in to the camp where the danger isn't just the lurking creature, but the other frightened humans ready to murder each other to survive.

[Image: Turman-Foster Company, Universal Pictures]

Sure, I could have chosen a monster-pic.... But Kurt Russell just seemed like the right choice to me...

 

Ok... Here's a monster pic too for good measure:

Happy?

 

Hani

 



Body Bags

"Body Bags" (1993, John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper, 187 Corp., Showtime Networks) is a made for TV horror anthology set in a morgue. The film was initially meant to become a weekly show similar to "Tales from the Crypt" but was axed, and so the completed pieces were pieced together into an anthology.

A creepy coroner (John Carpenter) sets us up for each segment, inspired by the bodies he uncovers from the bags. There are three tales all-in:

The Gas Station
Anne (Alex Datcher) is a student starting her new part time job as the overnight petrol station attendant. As if that job is not just creepy enough, she has to deal with knowing that a dangerous lunatic has escaped the asylum (she was kindly warned by her new colleague, Bill (Robert Carradine)). Soon all of her customers appear to be a little strange and Anne is frantic, not knowing who could be the killer! Horror hero cameos include Wes Craven, Sam Raimi, David Naughton, George Buck Flower and Molly Cheek).

The short is a bit of a lark with so many horror favourites gracing the screen with their nutty characters and a fair bit of bludgeoning. While it's your typical 'lone woman being stalked by a serial killer' plot, it's fun in its familiarity and really kicks off the film.

Hair
Richard (Stacy Keach) is hitting middle age. His girlfriend, Megan (Sheena Easton), is getting exasperated by Richard's obsession with his looks and his quickly thinning locks. In his desperation, Richard signs up for a hair transplant operation which appears successful. Maybe a little too successful...

A bit of a laugh with some effects that aged a little, but add to the charm of the film. I thought I knew where this one was going but after a point it changes tack slightly which pleased me. Yes, it's hardly 'scary' but I don't watch old anthologies for scare factor, they're purely for comedy. Cameos include Debbie Harry and David Warner as the mad doctor and his nurse.

Eye
Brent Matthews (Mark Hamill) is a baseball player. He is involved in a car accident where his eye is gouged out. Brent opts for some experimental surgery that is not considered so sci-fi these days, and receives an eye transplant in the hopes that he can return to his beloved game. But, similarly to the later 2002 and 2008 Singaporean and American blockbusters both called "The Eye", he begins to see things that are not there through the new eye: horrible things. Brent becomes suspicious that his new eye belonged to a killer and goes back to the doctor to investigate. Brent realises that there is only one way to end this problem... Cameos include Twiggy and Roger Corman.

A few gruesome bits make this one entertaining but it was admittedly my least favourite short of the three. In retrospect this one seems very tropey, but it's not its fault; it came first afterall!

We end back in the morgue where our creepy coroner reveals he is more than at first appears.

The film comes off as surprisingly low budget, but this may just be a sign of ageing SFX. While it's nothing new in terms of plot or set up, it's a playful horror anthology and is funny, self aware and even a little gruesome at times. Team this one with Creepshow 1 and you're onto a bloody good night in!

[Image: 187 Corp.]

Hani

Halloween 2

"Halloween 2" (1981, Rick Rosenthal, Universal Pictures, Dino De Laurentiis Corporation) is the sequel to John Carpenter's masterpiece.

Michael Myers (Dick Warlock), the unstoppable madman, is still home for his favourite holiday and he's still hell-bent on tormenting Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) and other teens in Haddonfield. Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) is still tailing him. And, wouldn't you know it, everyone is still pretty unprepared for the events, despite a whole load of murders in town already...

A pretty slow film, which holds none of the artful suspense of its predecessor but makes up for it with a lot more gore/violence, it serves as an unrequired and uninspired sequel to a good film. Rather than adding to the plot, it instead imitates its own imitators.

Not my favourite Halloween film. But still an interesting piece of cinema in respect to styling.

 

 

[Image: Universal Pictures]

 

Hani

The Fog (1980)

"The Fog" (1980, John Carpenter, AVCO Embassy Pictures) is the original and best version of the eerie seaside tale of vengeance, pirates and ghosts.

The plot is simple, there's a small fishing town called Antonio Bay which is celebrating it's 100 year anniversary. On the eve of the anniversary, however, a bad fog rolls in and a lot of unusual disturbances begin to happen across the whole town, some of which prove fatal. Ignoring these signs, the townspeople continue to prepare for their Centennial.

The strange glowing fog returns, and it soon comes to key members of the town's attention that "Something is in the fog!"

A good example of some of John Carpenter's work such as the original "Halloween" and "The Thing", the jumps are infrequent and well paced, always catching you when you're least execting them. There is next to no gore in this film, mostly Carpenter gives you an idea of what's happening and your mind does the rest! I really appreciate this in some films, and find it both classic and exciting as my mind always outdoes most horror film in grossness anyway!

The key townspeople are against the clock to try to stop the fog and its deadly contents. But when digging into the town's history to try to apease it, they might not like what they find out!

Although dated by the film quality and clothes of the day, this film is still a great experience and can still grab your attention when it needs to!

The ghosts are damned polite, knocking before killing you; how considerate!!! And Jamie Lee Curtis gets very friendly with an older man, Tom Atkins. Adrienne Barbeau also showcases her sexy radio voice.

Highly recommend!

[Picture: AVCO Embassy Pictures]

 

Hani