The Black Room

"The Black Room" (2017, Rolfe Kanefsky, Cleopatra Entertainment) is about demonic possession.

We're introduced to Miss Black (Lin Shaye) and her niece, Stacy (Dominique Swain) who meet their demise in their home thanks to some pervy invisible demons. Later, the house is purchased by a couple, Paul (Luka Hassel) and Jennifer (Natasha Henstridge), who seem happy despite learning about the house having a 'dark past'. Their marriage is put through the wringer, however, when they discover that all their repairmen and Jennifer's gothy sister Karen (Augie Duke) are being picked off and that Paul has become possessed (you can tell by the guyliner and a change in accent) by the horny demonic entity dwelling in their basement.

Sounding more fun than it is, the film misses the mark for me by being overly trashy past the point of funny and essentially culminating the worst of the B-movie catalogue into a 'shock' fest of nudity that loses its shock factor after the first scene.

We are treated to some excellent scoring by Savant that is reminiscent of Charles Bernstein's classic theme for "A Nightmare on Elm Street" and some cheap but psychedelic opening credits, but overall the film felt less like a nod to the trashtastic horrors of the past and more like a bad joke at the audience's expense.

Lin Shaye's character's job seems to be limited to speaking sternly to demons while being overall ineffectual and our other main characters are generally unlikeable.

While some of the kill scenes are entertaining, the film's odd atmosphere was distracting and it felt kind of shallow. Better B-movies, and probably pornos,  have done this stuff before already, and with more success.

With nipple twisting, wandering giant red hands, killer demonic penises, body fluids galore and a flashback scene that felt like something found on the cutting room floor of The Mighty Boosh, this trashy film felt a bit lacklustre and left me feeling more grimy than entertained.

It did leave me wondering, however, if it would still be classed as cheating if you both think you're having relations with your other half but it's actually a pervy invisible demon?

[Image: Cleopatra Entertainment]

Hani 

The Greasy Strangler

"The Greasy Strangler" (2016, Jim Hosking, Drafthouse Films, Rook Films, SpectreVision, Timpson Films, Filmrise) is a surreal dark comedy horror film about a killer who strangles victims to death while wearing nothing but a layer of grease... It's also a film about love, betrayal, weirdos, nakedness and disco... Kind of.

Big Ronnie (Michael St. Michaels) is a strange man who runs a disco walking tour with his son, Big Brayden (Sky Elobar). The tour offers little in the way of facts, disco or free refreshments; much to the chagrin of the customers. The father and son also live together, hang out a lot in their underwear and eat a lot of excessively greasy food; just the way that Big Ronnie likes it. Big Ronnie also enjoys moonlighting as a greased up murderer in the buff, washing himself off at the end of his escapades at a car wash run by his blind disco friend, Big Paul (Gil Gex).

Big Brayden meets Janet (Elizabeth De Razzo) on one of his father's walking tours, and the pair fall in weird love, much to the distaste of Big Ronnie. The perturbed Ronnie begins a campaign immediately to win Janet over from his son.

A very marmite movie that will either have you rolling your eyes and laughing or completely repulsed. Maybe both. The characters are outlandish and dirty and the dialogue is purposefully stilted. If you're up for watching some fully frontal nudity with a lot of swinging prosthesis' and a fair amount of cartoonish gore then this is the movie for you.

This is a film that will stay with you forever and have you wondering why you watched it for weeks, possibly years, to come. And yet, like me, the experience has probably taught you nothing and you will definitely watch more like it in the future.

[Image: Drafthouse Films, et al]

What a pair of bullshit artists!

Hani

Night of The Demons (1988)

"Night of The Demons" (1988, Kevin S. Tenney, Republic Pictures, International Film Marketing) is a Halloween party favourite and a must have for any cheesy horror movie night!

A group of teens decide to have a Halloween party in an old abandoned mortuary. Goth outcast, Angela (Mimi Kinkade), who's throwing the party, believes that the place is possessed by demonic spirits and wouldn't you know it, she's right! Soon everyone's getting possessed or trying to escape while their possessed friends get all kinky and weird around them.

It's all just good fun and delivers everything promised: boobs (and more... Any Linnea Quigley fans will be happy), gore, demoniacally possessed teens and some Scooby Doo Style chase scenes!

Some really cracking physical effects allow for that sought after 'ewww!' moment, including an eye popping scene that is really nasty in the best kind of way!

If you're looking for originality you're in the wrong place, but it's certainly sheer 80s awesomeness not to be missed!

[Image: Republic Pictures]

 

Hani

Secrets Of The Clown

"Secrets Of The Clown" (2007, Ryan Badalamenti, Brain Damage Films, Badman Productions) is, in essence, a killer clown movie.

Bobby (Paul Pierro) feels that he is being haunted by a spirit after the brutal murder of his friend Jim (Jay O'Connor) in his house. His girlfriend, Val (Kelli Clevenger), has also become very distant and oddly protective of her toy clown doll. Soon other friends of Bobby begin to be killed off. Could the clown be responsible?

Dun. Dun. Duuhhhhhhhnn!

Sounds ok, doesn't it? A little schlocky, maybe. Well, it's a low budget attempt so I would be inclined to forgive the sometimes shaky camera work and I was expecting crappy gore. But the first scene is very promising! And the musical score is pretty well put together.

However, the dialogue is painful and truthfully, badly executed by wooden acting. It references 'Ghostbusters' and 'South Park', but the lines aren't very funny. And, although character stereotypes are set up, the characters are just not full enough for any audience sympathy. But I'm used to this in B-movies, so I wasn't expecting much anyway.

The plot is confusing, jumpy and seems uncertain of what's going on and there are a lot of dream sequences that, although sometimes actually creepy, don't do much for the story. It was like Badalamenti couldn't decide if he wanted the bad guy to be a clown, a ghost, a demon or witches. It makes little sense and by half way through the film I just didn't really care any more!

The characters are not likeable, and although the clown make up is good, considering the meagre budget this film must have had, he's not really used to his full potential.

The gore is surprisingly good for B-movie-dom, but it's not quite "Murder Party" impressive (another terribly wooden film). And I didn't understand where some of the blood splatters were from, especially in the car scene. But that's not really a bad thing in a slasher!

There are a lot of topless women in this film, so I suppose that would save it for some people. There's also a sexy nurse and a shower scene. So, if you're looking for boobs, this could be right up your street. 

But it's not scary, it's not clever and it's indecisive as to which horror-sub-genre it wants to be in. Cheesy, but not in the good way.

[Image: Brain Damage Films & Badman Productions]

 

Hani