Nightbooks

 "Nightbooks" (2021, David Yarovesky, Ghost House Pictures, MXN Entertainment, Catchlight Studios, Netflix) is a fun horror for kids based on the book by J.A. White.

Alex (Winslow Fegley) is a young horror fan who likes to write his own scary stories. After a disappointing horror themed birthday party, he swears never to write a scary story again and takes his notebooks down to the building's basement with the intention of burning them in the furnace. However, en route he discovers a mysterious floor of the building and enters a strange apartment, which turns out to be owned by a witch called Natacha (Krysten Ritter), who holds him prisoner and tells him he must tell her a scary story each night or else! 

While the witch sleeps, Alex and his fellow captive, Yazmin (Lidya Jewett), who has been stuck in the witch's apartment acting as her housemaid for several years, attempt to find a way to escape and unlock some interesting secrets along the way.

A fun horror aimed at kids, "Nightbooks" delivers some festive scares and action as well as some important messages about wandering into stranger's apartments. Yazmin and Alex learn to work together through the film to try and outwit the evil witch.

Sporting some great effects and a rather terrifying magic cat, "Nightbooks" is sure to appeal to young horror fans in the making and is a fun adventure for adults, too. A welcome entry to the annual Halloween countdown and somewhat reminiscent of other great kids' horrors such as "The Monster Squad" (1987).

[Image: Ghost House Pictures, et al]

Hani

I Married a Witch

"I Married a Witch" (1942, René Clair, Paramount Pictures) is a black and white comedy romance based on the unfinished novel titled "The Passionate Witch" by Thorne Smith which was later completed by Norman H. Matson .

The witch, Jennifer (Veronica Lake), curses the Wooley family in Puritan times after she and her father Daniel (Cecil Kellaway) are denounced as witches and sentenced to death by Jonathan Wooley (Fredrich March). The Wooley curse is to never find happiness in love, and this haunts the descendants of the Wooley clan up until 'present' day.

When Jennifer and Daniel's spirits are released by accident on the eve of Wallace Wooley's (also Fredric March) wedding to spoiled, gold digging bride, Estelle (Susan Hayward), Jennifer sees an opportunity to further punish the Wooley clan and attempts to woo Wallace and ruin not only his unhappy wedding, but also his run for Governor. But spells can be tricky things, and often go awry...

Veronica Lake is stunning, but the best thing about her is her comedic timing. Jennifer is a marvellous character and we enjoy every devious minute that she's on screen. The film enjoys great pacing, fantastic effects, considering the time of production, and a delightful and well portrayed story.

If you're looking for some lighthearted Halloween entertainment, this could definitely be for you.

[Image: Paramount Pictures]

Hani

Suspiria (2018)

"Suspiria" (2018, Luca Guadagnino K Period Media, Frenesy Film Company, Videa Mythology Entertainment, Memo Films, Vega Baby) is the arthouse re-imagining of the 1977 Dario Argento film of the same name.

Susie Bannion (Dakota Johnson) leaves Ohio and enrols in a dance academy in West Berlin. She becomes the favourite of the instructor, Madame Blanc (Tilda Swinton), but begins to suspect that something very strange is going on at the school as she and her friend Sara (Mia Goth) begin investigating. At the same time, a psychologist (also Swinton in impressive prosthetics making this, minus some minor roles, an all-female cast) is investigating the school after the disappearance of  his patient, Patricia (Chloë Grace Moretz), who had left journals stating that she believed the matrons of the school to be witches.

Cards on the table I did not love this film. I found the length excessive with long winded shots and scenes that seemed artsy for the sake of it, rather than a statement or style. The film's pacing was tedious and I found the plot to be somewhat incoherent (and that's saying something from me, a fan of some of the most incoherent B-movies ever made). The whole side-plot with the Doctor seemed unnecessary and the grim styling, which I'll get to below, coupled with the pacing made the film seem even slower. Unlike the original, the remake also didn't have a strong memorable score. In honesty, I can't imagine how this could be achieved without infringing on the original, but I felt that I barely noticed the score at all.

That's not to say that I didn't find things I liked about the film. The styling and colouration of the original could not be matched or recreated without seeming like a pointless copy, so I admire the direction of Guadagnino to go his own way. The style seems consistent with West Berlin in the 70s. The scenery is also reminiscent of the original but much more drab, grey and gritty. I also appreciated that the film was immersed completely in its German setting. As a German language learner I was thrilled to pick up most of the German dialogue without the need of subtitles. However, for non-speakers of the language it perhaps made a long film feel even longer.

The body-horror elements were really good; lots of bone breaking, gut spilling and pants pissing, and a very chaotic and Giallo-homage ridden scene filled to the brim with nude dancers and grizzled old witches. However, the journey to reach the payoffs was long and, although the gore and effects were stunning, even these scenes seemed overly long and lingered too much which, for me, robbed them of some of their effect.

While I didn't hate the film, I am unlikely to watch it again and view it as an experience as a genre fan, rather than a piece of entertainment. Clearly it just isn't for me.

[Image: K Period Media, et al]

Hani

Suspiria

"Suspiria" (Dario Argento, 1977, Seda Spettacoli, Produzioni Atlas Consorziate) is a supernatural Giallo horror set in Freiburg, Germany.

Suzy Bannion (Jessica Harper) is a young American ballet student who enrols at a prestigious German dance academy. In a memorable opening scene she arrives at the school at night during a thunderstorm to find the building locked up. Before giving in and leaving to try again during the day she glimpses what appears to be another student leaving the school in a panic and running into the woods. The next day Suzy is welcomed to the school by the stern Miss Tanner (Alida Valli) and headmistress, Madam Blanc (Joan Bennett), but learns of the grim murder of one of the students; the girl she saw running the previous night... During her studies, and having befriended neighbouring student, Sara (Stefania Casini), Suzy begins to suspect that something very grim is going on at the academy...

An intriguing film that enjoys stunning scenes. The lavish styling, setting and lighting are some of the most recognisable in film. The scoring by prog-rock band Goblin is also very unique, striking and effective. I am also a fan of the wardrobe. Every character is adorned in some beautiful garment or quirky suit - it's a real stylish piece of cinema.

Harper provides a strong but sympathetic protagonist who spends the duration of the film working things out head-on and without shying away. As with most movies of this type, keeping up with the plot can be an exercise and it's the kind of film that seems to unlock more and more detail with each viewing. We are treated with action from the onset with stabbings, hangings, razor wire pits and reanimated corpses to keep us entertained.

There's very little reference made in the film, aside from the introduction, of it being set in Germany and the scenes involving Dr. Mandel and Professor Milius can seem a little jarring and out of place. But the beauty of this movie is in its stylish flair and the urgency of its pacing.

I was first introduced to this film at an all-night horror film festival and I have enjoyed many re-watches since then. It is also the first of Argento's "The Three Mothers" trilogy.

[Image:  Produzioni Atlas Consorziate]

Hani

Troll 2

"Troll 2" (1990, Claudio Fargasso, Filmirage) is an infamously bad film about a fairly strange 'average' family taking a holiday in a town that's not only boring; it's infested by goblins. Luckily the goblins are vegetarians... Also, noteworthy that this film is not a real sequel.

Joshua (Michael Stephenson) appears to be an everyday kid. If an everyday kid talks to the ghost of his deceased grandfather, that is. He lives with his mother and father; a misguided couple who don't seem to comprehend what a vacation is; and his teenaged sister.

The family head to the town of Nilbog (genius, right?) where they are creepily welcomed by the locals. But luckily for them, Grandpa Seth (Robert Ormsby), warns Joshua that the townsfolk are actually goblins in disguise and that, if the family eat the food offered to them, they will be turned into vegetation which the goblins will eat!

Can they avoid a fate worse than death? Can they escape the clutches of the world's most melodramatic witch/goblin (Deborah Reed)? Why can't the goblins just grow their own vegetables like everyone else?

A horror comedy so bad that it's perfectly watchable. The acting, with the ironic exception of young Joshua, is entertainingly stilted and the outlandish plot manages to be both mediocre and hilarious. The goblin costumes are also reminiscent of homemade Halloween costumes. A real trashy movie that every B-movie fan should see; even if it's just for a good laugh.

[Image: Filmirage]

Hani

The Last Witch Hunter

"The Last Witch Hunter" (2015, Breck Eisner, Atmosphere Productions, One Race Films, Goldmann Pictures, Summit Entertainment) is a horror-fantasy action thriller set in New York City.

Kaulder (Vin Diesel) vanquished the Witch Queen (Julie Engelbrecht) over 800 years ago when her Black Plague took his family, friends and countrymen. Before her demise, however, the creepy queen bestowed upon Kaulder the curse of eternal life.

In modern day we find Kaulder is still hunting and stopping witches from causing havoc under the orders of the Axe and Cross organisation. Often, however, he does not kill the witches, finding that they are sometimes young and unable to control their powers. In some instances, however, offending witch criminals are arrested or executed at his hand. He is helped in his task by a priest known as "Dolan". His current Dolan is number 36 (Michael Caine), although a new, younger Dolan is prepped ready to take over as number 37 (Elijah Wood).

When Dolan the 36th is harmed, Kaulder goes on the hunt for the perpetrator with the help of a young witch called Chloe (Rose Leslie). However, the deeper Kaulder gets in on the mystery, the more he fears that the dark, forgotten powers of the Queen are rising...

A silly, hokey, dark action fantasy film that plays through almost like a film version of someone's D&D campaign read-through. Whilst it's entertaining enough, it does suffer from some slow scenes and a few side plots that don't add much to the overall story. The effects are fun, though, and our Witch Queen is a much better realised character than, but somewhat similar to the concept of Enchantress from "Suicide Squad".

Hani

Don't Knock Twice

"Don't Knock Twice" (2017, Caradog W. James, Red & Black Films) is a haunted house / urban legend movie.

Chloe (Lucy Boynton) is a teenager who is grudgingly giving her estranged, recovering addict, mother, Jess (Katee Sackhoff), a second chance. She is also fool enough to have knocked twice on the door of a house rumoured to be haunted by a vengeful ghost. And now she's scared.

This film doesn't deliver much in the way of anything new. The jump scares are hokey and a little silly and the build up between scenes is somewhat tedious with the friction between the two main characters feeling forced. The resulting film feels a bit stale as we visit old ground, with not very much to differentiate itself from others in the genre.

[Image: Red & Black Films]

Hani

The Love Witch

"The Love Witch" (2016, Anna Biller, Oscilloscope Laboratories) is an homage to the 60s technicolor era.

Elaine (Samantha Robinson) is a beautiful young witch turned femme fatale, who uses witchcraft in her bid to find a lover. Unfortunately, her charms and potions never quite strike the balance leaving a trail of lovesick corpses in her wake...

A beautifully crafted film that merges the style, fashions and feel of the 60s era films with a more modern setting. The film also enjoys the randomness of 60s horror with a ridiculous plot and set of characters. The colour palette is very pleasing to the eye. Stylistically this film is outstanding.

Elaine is used as a metaphor for womanhood and man's fear of the powerful woman, but conversely, Elaine is also a weak character; completely narcissistic, self involved and obsessed with finding someone to fawn over her. Her sudden disinterest in any man she wins over and her ongoing thirst for more affection  drives her to enchant and enslave more and more men. But it's a thirst that may never be sated...

Although the plot veers a little too into the obscure style of technicolor/pulp era with a large diversion to a medieval fayre and with a run-time of 120 minutes the shlockiness and purposefully stilted acting do begin to outstay their welcome. However, the style and humour make up for any short comings, and the film overall creates a very memorable impact.

Definitely something different to try this Valentine's Day.

[Image: Oscilloscope Laboratories]

Hani 

The Autopsy of Jane Doe

"The Autopsy of Jane Doe" (2016, André Øvredal, 42, IM Global, Impostor Pictures, IFC Midnight) is an intriguing horror about a father and son coroner team, who are tasked with identifying the cause of death of an unknown woman.

Tommy Tilden (Brian Cox) and his son, Austin (Emile Hirsch) are a small-town coroner and medical assistant. They are clocking off, Austin planning on going to the cinema with his girlfriend, Emma (Ophelia Lovibond), when the local sheriff (Michael McElhatten) comes bursting in with an urgent case: a mysterious Jane Doe (Olwen Kelly) found at the scene of an unusual homicide. Abandoning their plans for the evening, Tommy and Austin knuckle down to determine the cause of death.

As they begin to investigate the corpse they become more and more convinced that things are not as they seem....

A creepy, engaging and inventive film which has the right balance of slow eerie build up and action to keep things moving. The viewer discovers the secrets of Jane along with the characters, keeping a good plot flow. The setting and effects are very effective and the film achieves a gruesomeness without actually being too gory.

The film is very dark, both in subject matter and in lighting style, and really filled the 99 minute run time without becoming dull. It's not without its cheesiness, but this adds to the experience.

All in all, a very entertaining film.

[Image: IM Global et al]

Hani 

Pumpkinhead

"Pumpkinhead" (1988, Stan Winston, De Laurentiis Entertainment Group) is a supernatural horror about revenge.

The film starts with a scene set in the late 50s where we see a farmer, Tom Hardy, and his wife and child, Ed, hiding in their farmhouse as a neighbour tries to seek entry to escape from something. Tom warns the man to leave or he will be shot. The family then witness the man being killed by a demonic creature.

Fast forward to the 80s, the film continues to follow Ed (Lance Henriksen) who has a young son of his own and runs a store. He leaves his son and their dog, Gypsy, as he runs a short errand just as a bunch of teenage campers show up with dirt bikes. Gypsy runs out, followed by the little boy, to chase the bikes and the kid is hit and killed by one of the campers. In despair, Ed takes his child's body to a witch who tells him that she cannot raise the child back to the living, but she can help him wreak is revenge. Ed readily agrees to follows the witch's orders to dig up a twisted corpse from an old graveyard.

The witch raises the twisted body into a demon called Pumpkinhead who then goes on a spree, killing the campers responsible for Ed's son's death. With each death, Ed begins is effected, seeing the killings from the perspective of the demon. The revenge won't bring back what he has lost, but does he have more to lose than he realised?

The film's effects and use of animatronics still stand up exceptionally well to today's films. Although the film doesn't offer anything ground breaking and the plot is a little thin in places, I really enjoyed it. The monster is well designed and gory, there's a sub-plot with a cautionary tale and the action is silly, but enjoyable. It makes for a fun 80s romp.

[Image: De Laurentiis Entertainment Group]

Hani 

The Witch

"The Witch" (2016, Robert Eggers, Parts and Labour, Rooks Nest Entertainment, RT Features) is an atmospheric horror set in 17th Century New England and centred around a very unlucky family.

William (Ralph Ineson) is excommunicated and banished from his puritan Christian plantation, along with his family; wife, Katherine (Kate Dickie), daughter Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy), son Caleb (Harvey Scrimshaw) and twins Mercy and Jonas (Ellie Grainger and Lucas Dawson). They set up home at a rough farm and Katherine gives birth to a boy called Sam. The infant disappears whilst Thomasin is playing with him and the disappearance is blamed upon "the witch of the wood". But there really is something lurking in the shadows and, as the unlucky family begin pointing fingers at each other screaming witchcraft, something is tearing them apart.

Oh, and the twins claim to be able to speak to the black goat called Philip.

A slow burning film with a good atmosphere and realistic, harsh depictions of the hardships of the puritan era. The language can be quite difficult to stay in tune with and, although the horror elements are really good, they are relatively scarce and the film is certainly not jumpy. But the tale is grim and the fear and grief of William and his family is palpable. It really explores some of the darker themes of humanity and the little doocots we put ourselves in.

The scenery, costumes and sound design are all absolutely spot on and bring a sense of period drama to the film. The film felt old and it had a lot to say. I expect more great things to come from Mr. Eggers, certainly. I was left with an almost shell-shocked feeling towards the end of the film which is a good sign, but as a whole it wasn't at all what I'd expected and I feel it was more thought-provoking and unsettling than 'scary'.

[Image: Rooks Nest Entertainment, et al]

Hani

The Witches of Eastwick

"The Witches of Eastwick" (1987, George Miller, Guber-Peters Company, Warner Bros.) is a black comedy film about witches and The Beast, based on the book by John Updike.

Three bored women (Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfeiffer) are going about their unsatisfying lives in Eastwick, a small American town. Unaware that they are endowed with mystical powers, the three women accidentally invoke the powers that be and conjure up Daryl Van Horne (Jack Nicholson).

Van Horne is an oddly charismatic sleaze ball and despite their better judgement, the women start spending time with him and honing their powers. Unfortunately, rumours begin to spread about the town, helped by local gossip, Felicia (Veronica Cartwright), who begins to lose her mind due to the presence of Van Horne.

The women try to rid their lives of him, only to find him not so easily gotten rid of!

A fun flick, it certainly dishes up the crazy with Nicholson at his usual best and Cartwright spewing cherry pips everywhere.

It's a battle of the sexes and a product of its time. While it's certainly not the best witch comedy out there, it's worth watching.

 

 

[Image: Warner Bros.]

Hani

The Blair Witch Project

"The Blair Witch Project" (1999, Eduardo Sánchez, Daniel Myrick, Haxan Films, Artisan Entertainment) is one of the first Found Footage horror films I'd ever heard of.

As a teen I thought this film was scary. As an adult I'd say it was more atmospheric and some very good, realistic acting. The dialogue seems genuine and so doesn't have the forced feeling that some modern attempts have achieved.

Three students go missing in the woods while filming a documentary about local legend, The Blair Witch. All that was found was their footage.

The filming is very handycam, but not as purposefully shaky as some of the more modern attempts. The characters are surprisingly well rounded too, considering that we only really know them from their banter amongst themselves.

When the scary stuff starts it's not as graphic or as scary as we're used to, but the build up is actually quite impressive, propelled by Heather Donahue's tearful performance as she breaks down.

The main issue, despite the lack of actual physical scares, is that we are watching hand-filmed footage and so do not see much straight, head on action. While this can be used to affect (See "Rec"), it can be disorientating. Mainly I found it distracting. I'm not a huge fan of found footage.

However, the creep factor is definitely there and although it won't have you chewing the cushions, if you turn the lights out it will definitely please the casual horror film viewer.

I just laugh to think of all the hype at school about how it was all 'real'.

[Image: Haxan Films]

Hani

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

"Halloween III: Season of the Witch" (1982, Tommy Lee Wallace, Dino De Laurentiis Company, Universal Pictures) deviates from the usual Halloween film formula with no sign of our favourite masked murderer, Michael Myers (although we do see a bit of Halloween 1 on the TV in a few scenes).

One of the most anti-Halloween horror films I've seen, the plot is centred around Dr. Challis (Tom Atkins) who begins to investigate the devious Silver Shamrock Company with a woman called Ellie (Stacey Nelkin) upon the mysterious death of Ellie's father.

Silver Shamrock are plotting to kill millions of children on Halloween night through the use of free Halloween masks and a creepy advert. They're also Hell-bent on unleashing some evil upon the world! Pesky witches!

A strange film. I actually quite enjoy it, despite its lack of Michael. The concept is creepy, the advert is shudder-worthy and, despite a low budget, the film is well put together with a few funny scenes - all be they accidental.

It will also get the tune from 'London Bridge is Falling Down' in a Pac-Man-style stuck in your head, though!

[Image: Universal Pictures]

Hani

Darkness Falls

"Darkness Falls" (2003, Jonathan Liebesman, Revolution Studios, Distant Corners, Columbia Pictures) is about a disfigured woman (Antony Burrows), falsely accused of, and killed for, being a witch who returns 150 years later as a malevolent spirit with a twisted take on the Tooth Fairy tale.

The film starts with a narrative opening, before we get to meet young Kyle Walsh and his little girlfriend, Caitlin.

Kyle has just lost his last baby tooth and after Caitlin goes home, he tries to get to sleep. His only issue is that The Tooth Fairy is lurking ominously in his room making all manner of creepy noises. When he looks upon her disfigured and masked face, he becomes cursed to become one of her victims. Unfortunately, his mother walks in at the wrong moment and the ghost takes her instead, leaving young Kyle alone, traumatised and accused of his mum's murder! A very effective scene that sets a creepy standard for the film that was sadly unrealised.

Caitlin (Emma Caulfield - who those of taste will know best as Anya from Buffy The Vampire Slayer), now an adult, is concerned for her young brother, Michael (Lee Cormie), who has not been able to sleep since losing his last baby tooth. Finally, she tracks down Kyle (Chaney Kley), now on medication and thought to be psychotic, to ask for help. But, can they stop the curse of The Tooth Fairy?

A very darkly lit film (due to the ghost being photosensitive) that relies solely on jump scares by using loud and creepy noises. While, it's nothing particularly innovative it has the feeling of a more traditional style haunting horror. However, the writing is just not engaging enough to fill in the scenes between jumps and the actors have to work extra hard to make the script work.

An issue I have is when a horror sets rules for the monster and then just blatantly breaks them when it's convenient to the plot. This film has a lot of moments that allow for the ghost to break her boundaries.

Generally not a great film, but it starts out quite well and has an interesting base concept.

[Image: Columbia Pictures]

Hani

The Lords of Salem

"The Lords of Salem" (2012, Rob Zombie, Alliance Films, Automatik Entertainment, Haunted Films, IM Global, Blumhouse Productions) is the film I was most excited for at Glasgow Fright Fest 2013.

As a fan of Rob Zombie's music and his films, I was waiting in anticipation for this film and it was one of the first main attractions for going to the festival (not that I wouldn't have gone had it not been showing!).

I'm pleased to say I was not disappointed, and while Lords isn't quite in the same style as "House of 1000 Corpses" or "The Devil's Rejects", it is really enjoyable! I felt it was well put together, and had the feeling of a Hammer Horror (such as "The Devil Rides Out") mixed with a touch of "Rosemary's Baby", there was also some classic 70s horror weirdness in there, especially any scenes with the Beast himself in them.

Heidi (Sheri Moon Zombie) is a radio DJ on Salem's local radio station. She co-hosts a show with her sometimes lover, Herman "Whitey" Salvador (Jeff Daniel Phillips) and also Herman Jackson (Ernest Lee Thomas).

One day, Heidi receives a strange record by a band called "The Lords" in a creepy wooden box. After a drunken night in with Whitey, they stick on the record and it behaves strangely, trying to play backwards. When it finally starts playing Heidi begins to feel strange and see odd visions. She kicks Whitey out and heads to bed where she dreams strange dreams.

Regardless, they play the record on the show and it becomes a hit with the listeners. The Lords also announce a gig in Salem and provide free tickets to anyone who wants them. But are The Lords all that they appear? Or is there something more sinister going on? And is the sweet little old landlady and her sisters really all that sweet?

An atmospheric film which is both slow burning and also quite trippy, The Lords of Salem is enjoyable and weird. Good visuals and a fitting soundtrack give the desired effect. Although, it's not for everyone, and is certainly no gore fest.

Several notable scream queens are present in this film including:

• Magenta from Rocky Horror, Patricia Quinn
• Meg Foster (she was in John Carpenter's "They Live")
• Barbara Crampton ("Re-Animator")
• María Conchita Alonso ("Predator 2", "The Running Man")
• Dee Wallace ("E.T.", "The Howling", "The Hills Have Eyes", "Cujo")

 The coven scenes are excellent, if you can handle that much naked old lady, and really hark back to the glory days of witch horror, when Vincent Price was hunting them down and Joan Fontaine was losing her mind to witchcraft!

I actually liked the end which sped up and delved back into the Zombie we know and love and, for me, brought all the craziness to a head.

Good, different, but not gory, this film may be a point of contention amongst fans, but is a bold move by the ever talented Rob Zombie.

[Image: Haunted Films]

Hani

Secrets Of The Clown

"Secrets Of The Clown" (2007, Ryan Badalamenti, Brain Damage Films, Badman Productions) is, in essence, a killer clown movie.

Bobby (Paul Pierro) feels that he is being haunted by a spirit after the brutal murder of his friend Jim (Jay O'Connor) in his house. His girlfriend, Val (Kelli Clevenger), has also become very distant and oddly protective of her toy clown doll. Soon other friends of Bobby begin to be killed off. Could the clown be responsible?

Dun. Dun. Duuhhhhhhhnn!

Sounds ok, doesn't it? A little schlocky, maybe. Well, it's a low budget attempt so I would be inclined to forgive the sometimes shaky camera work and I was expecting crappy gore. But the first scene is very promising! And the musical score is pretty well put together.

However, the dialogue is painful and truthfully, badly executed by wooden acting. It references 'Ghostbusters' and 'South Park', but the lines aren't very funny. And, although character stereotypes are set up, the characters are just not full enough for any audience sympathy. But I'm used to this in B-movies, so I wasn't expecting much anyway.

The plot is confusing, jumpy and seems uncertain of what's going on and there are a lot of dream sequences that, although sometimes actually creepy, don't do much for the story. It was like Badalamenti couldn't decide if he wanted the bad guy to be a clown, a ghost, a demon or witches. It makes little sense and by half way through the film I just didn't really care any more!

The characters are not likeable, and although the clown make up is good, considering the meagre budget this film must have had, he's not really used to his full potential.

The gore is surprisingly good for B-movie-dom, but it's not quite "Murder Party" impressive (another terribly wooden film). And I didn't understand where some of the blood splatters were from, especially in the car scene. But that's not really a bad thing in a slasher!

There are a lot of topless women in this film, so I suppose that would save it for some people. There's also a sexy nurse and a shower scene. So, if you're looking for boobs, this could be right up your street. 

But it's not scary, it's not clever and it's indecisive as to which horror-sub-genre it wants to be in. Cheesy, but not in the good way.

[Image: Brain Damage Films & Badman Productions]

 

Hani

Witchcraft

"Witchcraft" (1989, Robert Spera, Digital Entertainment Limited) is a low budget witch horror which managed to rack up a surprising number of spin offs and sequels (mostly skin flicks to be honest), despite being one of the most boring, unoriginal witch horrors ever made!

Taking most of the plot from "Rosemary's Baby" and sticking in some of  "The Omen" and "The Amittyville Horror", this film is hardly original. When Grace (Anat Topol-Barzilai) moves into her creepy mother-in-law's mansion house (mother-in-law played by Mary Shelley - awesome name. Shame about the acting...)  with her partner John (Gary Sloan) and their brand new baby, it isn't long before she begins to suspect that not everything, or indeed everyone, is what they appear.

It soon transpires that Grace has unwittingly managed to get herself involved in a witchcraft cult, and now that she's given them what they wanted, a baby, she's really of no further use to them.

A terrible and harrowing film with some nicely hilarious effects which are the only reason I kept watching (well, that, my two good friends and a bottle of rum helped...). From the sacrificial cuddly toy, to the beheaded mannequin this film truly scrapes the barrel of effects to bring up what, even in the 80s, was beyond low budget.

No jumps, no scares and certainly no inventive plot, this film is less of a cheesy B-movie and more of a "Can I get those 85 minutes of my life back?" movie. A somewhat poor attempt to exploit the success of raunchy 70s horrors, this film didn't leave me eager to watch any of the sequels or indeed, rewatch this one ever again.

On the upside, the bloody drooling scene was good fun.

I don't recommend, but if you must torture yourself, by all means do!

[Image: Digital Entertainment Limited]

Witchfinder General

"Witchfinder General" (1968, Tigon British-American International, Michael Reeves) is a British witch trials-centred horror starring the horror master, Vincent Price.

Price plays The Witchfinder, Matthew Hopkins (an actual man in British History, who was responsible for many atrocities in his time, but wasn't sanctioned by the government or church, unlike this tale).

The year is 1645, the time of The English Civil War, and law and order are virtually non-existent. Belief in witches is rife, and the scapegoating of women for everyday ills and unfair treatment is commonplace. Hopkins spends his life travelling the length and breadth of the country 'hunting', torturing and exacting justice on 'witches' with his team of followers.

Vincent Price is terrifying in this film, even by today's standards. Hopkins is insane, determined, evil minded and has the power of 'god' behind him... The church of the day supported this kind of behaviour, so no one was safe.

A lot of screaming goes on in this film. A lot. It's virtually a screamfest. I had to turn it down to avoid annoying my neighbours!

Despite there being pretty much no gore at all, the tense, suspicious feeling this film creates is tangible. There are also some hanging scenes which are disturbing in their simplicity.

Being a later film of this type, they felt the need to bring in some boob shots and a lot of shots of the whoring and activities of the menfolk. And we all know the priest's neice is in for some trouble after her pre-marital sexcapades with her betrothed! Also there's some rape. Thankfully off camera, but rape nonetheless.

Hopkins rolls into town to accuse the Priest of being in league with Satan (and all his little wizards if you watch 'Blackadder'). His neice is distraught and bargains for his safety with her virtue (little does Matthew know she's not actually a virgin...). When her soldier fiancé finds out, he races back to save the day!

As I mentioned, a lot of screaming and hangings (and other real witch finding tortures; pricking with needles, dooking in water, the ladder over fire....). There's little gore, but some very red blood. The story is simple and effective (I have never read the novel, so can't comment on trueness to plot) and as I mentioned, Price is an excellent villain in this piece! Even his own men hate him!

A surprisingly brutal film, with some remarkably true points on witch hunting in Britain in this era, as well as a good yarn. Oh, and no actual witches. This isn't a supernatural film!

[Picture: Tigon British-American International]

 

Hani

 

The Craft

"The Craft" (1996, Andrew Fleming, Columbia Pictures)

Hey, so I enjoy some teeny-bopper witch 'horror'! I'm not embarrassed about it :)

The Craft is about four teenage girls who get into Witchcraft at school, and how they become corrupted by it. I think it's probably really about drugs... But as I'm from the 'Buffy' era, I'm going to ignore that logic and stick to the magicks.

It's not really a 'horror' movie. It's more like "10 Things..." but with more witchcraft and less singing Heath Ledger. Although if you have a thing about snakes, spiders and creepy crawlies you should probably avoid this one.

You have the usual 'Troubled-Teen-from-broken-home-new-girl-on-the-block' story.
You have your typical American High School stereotypes.
You have your 4 teen witches.

They're outcasts and they're hormonal. It's pretty obvious that they're going to use their magickal powers for their own gain. If you know anything of the Laws of Magick, it's that everything is supposed to come back to the caster three-fold; it's all about consequences. This movie is about getting what you want and then living with the consequences.

The Craft is a bit of a guilty pleasure, like 'The Sugababes' album that I keep hidden away from the rest of my CD collection and my copy of 'I Know What You Did Last Summer'. It's a turn-your-brain-off kind of movie.

The girls start off with small-ish spells, but eventually Nancy, the one who's most into the Craft, convinces them to help perform a much more advanced spell, and soon afterwards she becomes a much more twisted character.

The girls eventually turn on the 'new girl', Sarah, who begins to have seconds thoughts and tries to bind the other witches from their talents. The climatic scene with all the creepies I mentioned earlier, is entertaining, but a lot of the magickal talents the girls strive for are less Evil-Willow and more Sabrina...

I reiterate; a turn-your-brain-off-movie, but hey it's one of the most successful teeny-bopper 'horrors' about witches out there, so that has to mean something, right?

 (Picture: Columbia Pictures)