Ready or Not

"Ready or Not" (2019, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, Fox Searchlight Pictures, Mythology Entertainment, Vinson Films, Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures) is a dark comedy horror about marrying into families with weird traditions.


Grace (Samara Weaving) has only known Alex Le Domas (Mark O'Brien) for 18 months, but she knows he's the one and they're getting married. Alex is from a rich family famous for their boardgame empire, but Grace does not love him for his money and is worried that his family dislikes her. Grace is an orphan, so the family's perception is important to her. Alex is really nervous about the whole thing, which Grace attributes to wedding nerves. The wedding is held at the family's large stately home and seems like a classy, but snooty affair. That night, however, instead of having an ordinary wedding night or drunkenly falling into a bridal suite, the couple are taken into a secret family room where it transpires that the Le Domas' have a quaint family tradition of letting a spooky box belonging to their long dead family benefactor, Mr. Le Bail, choose a game for the new family member to play. Grace takes a card from the box reading "Hide and Seek" and with that, is told to hide whilst the family members arm themselves with antiquated weaponry and begin to hunt the poor unsuspecting bride down or else face the deadly wrath of Mr. Le Bail.


A fun film which balances comedy and gore in good measure and offers a good selection of entertaining and over-the-top characters to enjoy amongst the carnage. It has the right pitch between the humour and the gore and the on-edge dread we feel whilst in hiding with Grace. There are also a few very well timed twists and turns and overall I enjoyed second guessing where we were going in the end.


The acting is solid in all cases, but Samara Weaving particularly creates a strong and sympathetic protagonist in Grace. She's likeable, relatable and swears like a sailor. The end result is very engaging and, at the end of the day, all the characters have a pretty good reason for doing everything they do... except for perhaps Alex, who could have possibly thought this through a little more in the long run.


Definitely a crowd pleaser, by the audience reaction around us last night and certainly a film with a rewatchability factor. I would certainly put it on my shelf along with the likes of "Tucker and Dale vs Evil" for a fun, Friday film.

[Image: Fox Searchlight Pictures, et al]

Hani

Bird Box

"Bird Box" (2018, Netflix, Susanne Bier) is a dystopian, post-apocalyptic film based on the novel by Josh Malerman.

The world as we know it ends when mysterious creatures descend upon Earth which take the appearance of the worst fear or regret of anyone who looks upon them and drive that viewer to immediate suicide.

We follow Malorie (Sandra Bullock), who was heavily pregnant when the creatures struck, as she fights to survive in this horrifying new world where you cannot look outside without risking immediate death. We follow her through two timelines; the immediate aftermath of the creatures' arrival and 5 years later...

A very tense, very effective film that is particularly scary due to what it doesn't show you, rather than what it does. The victims see the worst thing they can imagine and the fact that we only see the impact on them rather than the vision in front of them is very, very effective.

Stellar, emotional performances from the whole cast really bring the horror of the situation to life and Bullock's distant, smart, shell-shocked lead character is both relatable and difficult at times to watch as she desperately chastises the children in order to ensure their safety and hide her own feelings. Each character is its own short study whether they are angry and cut off, brave and self-sacrificing or scared and foolish.

Truly a suspenseful and emotional ride which is more about the journey than the destination or, in this case, the answers to the mystery.

[Image: Netflix]

Hani

The Ritual

"The Ritual" (2017, David Bruckner, Entertainment One, Imaginarium Productions) is the film adaptation of the novel by Adam Nevill.

A group of friends go on a hiking trip in the Swedish Wilderness to honour the tragic death of their friend. However, the trip goes from melancholy to menacing when they become lost and begin to realise that they are being chased by a dark and powerful presence in the forest.

"The Ritual" is good for a number of reasons and I'm going to try and get these down with as few spoilers as possible. But, as ever, if you'd rather not know any details before watching I recommend you click away now because there's lots of things I want to say about this film.

Firstly, the film (and I also assume the book, but I'm yet to read it, having only learned of its existence through researching this film) explores a lot of deep stuff. Our main protagonist is Luke (Rafe Spall) who witnessed the murder of his friend, Robert (Paul Reid), first hand and was spared a similar fate only by hiding. Throughout the film we see that Luke is haunted even before the forest with his deep guilt over not doing more to save Robert. He's a broken man who hasn't yet started to deal with what's happened. We also get to learn, as the group's friendships unravel in the stress of survival, that he's not alone in blaming himself for Robert's demise. The main journey of the film becomes not just survival of the forest, but of being a survivor ultimately and pushing past guilt to move forward in life. It's a strong message and "The Ritual" handles it well and with care. Luke is no hero. He's not even a particularly charming or likeable character. He's just a guy trying to live with what's happening. And I found that to be very effective and kind of refreshing.

Our other college buddies consist of; charismatic leader, Hutch (Robert James-Collier); quiet but funny Phil (Arsher Ali) and; the guy who doesn't really want to be there at all, Dom (Sam Troughton). The group dynamic is good and the team come across as genuine old college pals all moving on in their lives. We get a hint of everyone's fears in the movie and the characters are rounded enough to care about. Although personally I feel Phil was a bit short changed in the end.

Now to tackle what I really liked about the film; The scares. It's not a huge dialogue driven piece and the strong visuals make this a good thing. There's been a lot of 'thoughtful' 'quiet' horror recently that's more boring than artfully chilling, but "The Ritual" delivers its scares with style. The setting (actually Romania) goes from beautiful and picturesque to menacing and dark very nicely. We have some horror tropes in the form of spooky signs and abandoned cabins that don't feel overdone and are plot-relevant. We even have a skilful build up of our main antagonist from glimpses through the trees to a full on reveal that is both still scary and wonderfully designed. There are jumps and gore, freaky dream sequences, perilous situations and mythology.

The plot moves along at a good pace and the story actually develops as we go without just repeating the same style of scares over and over again. There are, of course, weaker points but they're all pretty arbitrary. Really, in my view, this film deserves lots of praise.

[Image: Entertainment One, Netflix, et al]

Hani

Kong: Skull Island

"Kong: Skull Island" (2017, Jordan Vogt-Roberts, Legendary Pictures, Tencent Pictures, Warner Bros. Pictures) is a monster movie about the infamous giant ape, King Kong. It is a reboot of the legendary King Kong franchise. However, this time the story is not a carbon copy of the original, instead re-imagining Kong's origin tale.

A group of scientists and Vietnam war soldiers travel to an uncharted island to face the legendary beast and a host of other gigantic killing machines. Can they make it back off of the island alive?

A glossy blockbuster with lots of explosions, murderous CGI beasties and angry humans. Although the film is undeniably entertaining, it lacks some of the class of the old-time monster movies. There's a subtle hint to Kong's affection for kind-hearted female humans, but without the dramatic, heartbreaking familiar storyline, most of our drama is human-centric. In the main, the action is relatively repetitive and the real hero, Kong himself, actually sees very little screentime.

A blockbuster with a B-movie vibe that should be great, but feels misplaced. However, the success of the creature design bodes well for the impending face-off between Kong and Godzilla.

[Image: Legendary Pictures]

Hani

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

"Dawn of the Dead" (2004, Zack Snyder, Strike Entertainment, New Amsterdam Entertainment, Metropolitan Filmexport) is the remake of the 1978 Romero film.

Ana (Sarah Polley) is a nurse who comes home from a long shift to have her quiet night in ruined by the sudden zombie virus outbreak. Terrified, she leaves her home and comes across another small group of survivors. Together they take up refuge in the local shopping mall along with a group of inhospitable security guards. Quickly, however the mall is surrounded by the undead, attracted by the living treats within and the group have to decide what to do.

An uncommonly good modern remake with a good balance of gore, action and plot to keep the viewer entertained. The film also enjoys a good score and soundtrack. Despite a relatively large group of characters, there is enough familiarity built up to make some of their deaths feel like a loss and for the viewer to root for the demise of a select few.

Although the film does not convey the same deeper message of the original, it does create a good ride and allows enough adrenaline pumping scenes to make it a genre favourite.

[Image: Strike Entertainment, et al]

Hani

31

"31" (2016, Rob Zombie, Bow + Arrow Entertainment, PalmStar Media, Protagonist Pictures, Spectacle Entertainment Group, Windy Hill Pictures, Saban Films) is the latest Rob Zombie horror picture.

A group of carnival workers are travelling in their van on Halloween morning 1976 when they are captured by a group of mysterious people and are then forced to play a "Running Man"-esque survival game called "31" (after the date). The aim of the game is to survive for 12 hours while battling murderous, torture-obsessed maniacs with clown paint on, wielding weapons. The game appears to be for the amusement (and gambling interests) of a group of madcap aristocrats lead by Malcolm McDowell.

The film has the same chaotic feeling that most of Rob Zombie's film enjoy with sudden scenes of violence split by scenes of random banter between the characters. However, the overall effect is less easy to follow than his previous films with a major flaw for me being there were so many characters to begin with, especially since it became apparent that a lot of these characters weren't required and are quickly lost in the confusing capture scene. There wasn't enough personality built up around these surplus characters to make them an emotional loss either, so I didn't feel their demise to be of any significance.

The settings are familiar: dusty back roads of America, big empty warehouse... The jump from one to the other is jarring and seems almost like 2 separate films. Zombie has also paid homage to Rocky Horror, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and other genre favourites, but some scenes seem more like replication than actual homage.

The action and kill scenes are good viewing, but our protagonists leap a little too easily into the roles of survival killing machines against supposed professional maniacs. The villains are colourful but would have benefited from some more screen time.

I did really enjoy main villain, Doom Head (Richard Brake), who, although very chatty, had a really effective menace to his character on top of being very violent and giving a good monologue.

As did Zombie's "The Devil's Rejects", "31" features a good group of familiar and established cult and genre faces including Meg Foster (she of the mesmerising eyes in "They Live" and more recently, "Pretty Little Liars") amongst a cast of many others. The acting is good, but the style of scripting sometimes makes the aforementioned banter seem less comfortable between characters.

All in all, it will certainly not be overtaking "House of 1000 Corpses" as my favourite Rob Zombie film and suffers from a few pitfalls, but it had the gore and action to bring it back.

[Image: Bow + Arrow Entertainment, et al]

Hani

The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977)

"The Island of Dr. Moreau" (1977, Don Taylor, American International Pictures) is one of the film adaptations of H.G. Wells' famous novel.

Andrew Braddock (Michael York) survives a shipwreck and eventually lands on an unknown island after 17 days at sea. He finds himself the welcomed guest of honour at the island's leader's house, that of Dr. Moreau (Burt Lancaster); a mysterious and unusual scientist who has been living on the island for some time.

Moreau is joined by a mercenary called Montgomery (Nigel Davenport) who serves Moreau as his associate, but does not like the man, and a beautiful young woman called Maria (Barbara Carrera). There are natives on the island, too, who are very odd-looking, they almost do not look like men at all. Moreau's personal servant is one such native called M'Ling (Nick Cravat).

Braddock becomes intrigued by Moreau's experiments and learns, to his horror, that the 'natives' are not in fact human at all, but man-beasts: the results of Moreau's twisted experiments to make humans from wild animals....

Although key aspects of the story were changed for the screen, and Moreau's experiments lose some of their shocking awfulness by being entirely serum based, instead of part vivisection, the film still packs a cold, dreadful punch.

Michael York is always so upstanding and polite. His portrayal of Braddock is good, however, and his anguish is quite disturbing. Lancaster portrays an excellent Moreau. His menacing intellect and his obsessive control over the island are unsettling. The makeup and effects are really impressive, but then, John Chambers was the makeup designer (Planet of the Apes, Star Trek, and other such impressive credits) so it could not be anything but.

It's a relatively tame flick, considering the subject matter, but this is in most part due to the era in which it was made. But it is still an enjoyable film with some solid performances, but not as much mystery as I would like.

[Image: American International Pictures]

Hani

Hell

"Hell" (2011, Tim Fehlbaum, Oliver Kahl) is a German-language film about a dystopian future where the sun has become too hot to stand and the world has become a post-apocalyptic nightmare.

Surviving in a small group, Marie (Hannah Herzsprung), her little sister Leonie (Lisa Vicari) and Phillip (Lars Eidinger) are foraging the barren wasteland for water and fuel, now uncommon commodities.

They happen across another survivor, Tom (Stipe Erceg) on their travels as they head towards the Alps, where they hope there is more to live off of. Unfortunately for them they aren't the only ones still alive, and not everyone is surviving in such friendly ways.

Since I was in Germany visiting friends, I thought it would be cool to give this film a try. It's title works out rather nicely in both German and English. In German it means 'light', which is apt considering the main theme of the film, and then 'hell' also has obvious connotations in English which fit well with the post-apocalyptic scenery.

The film seems to be in two halves; the first of which is a believable and very organic feeling film about survival and human emotions; And then the second half which seems to jump into a more chaotic movie with a bit of "House of 1000 Corpses" thrown in for good measure (but admittedly much, much less crazy and a bit more realistic).

That's not to say that this film is gory. It actually does quite well to be a nail-biter without much blood actually being spilled on screen and is more an intense thriller than a 'horror'.

Nicely realistic, shot with some interesting camera work and with a hue to the screen that captures how bright and fatal the sun has become. Everything feels suitably dusty and dry.

I wouldn't say it was my new favourite, but I watched it thoroughly rapt to the screen for the full run time.

Not for those who don't like to read subtitles or don't happen to speak German, but it's an interesting concept and a film I'd recommend giving a try!

Hani