Mandy

"Mandy" (2018, Panos Cosmatos, Spectrevision, Umedia, XYZ Films, RLJE Films) is an arthouse horror thriller starring Nicolas Cage.



Set in the 80s, we meet logger Red Miller (Nicolas Cage) and his fantasy artist and gas station attendant girlfriend, Mandy Bloom (Andrea Riseborough) at their lakeside cabin.


A cult calling themselves Children of the New Dawn along with the help of a drugged-up, cannibalistic biker gang called The Black Skulls, kidnap Mandy for their leader, Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache). However, Mandy rejects Sand and he instead burns her alive in front of Red.


Red then goes on a vengeful rampage armed with a special crossbow, a handmade axe and a whole tonne of hallucinogenic drugs... Oh, and there's a chainsaw battle also.


For me, the description sounded a lot better than the finished article. While I don't dislike Nicolas Cage, there's only so much entertainment I can glean from the famous Cage Rage - and this film is chalk full of it. The plot is pretty simple and the imagery is often really creative but it's all done with a kind of pretentious smirk and a lot of colour filters and starts to wear after a while. Some scenes are fantastically metal but the style likes to jump all over the place. For a film where all the characters are on drugs, however, I guess this makes sense. I guess that's also true for the odd dialogue...


The film takes a while to get started, and when it finally does it jumps off the deep end in an impressive way. If it had been cheesier, it would have been superb. But the arthouse pretention keeps this for being a hit for me.

[Image: Spectrevision, et al]

Hani

Mercy Christmas

"Mercy Christmas" (2017, Ryan Nelson, No Mercy Pictures, Other Paw Films) is a festive holiday cannibal film.

Santa brought me this film for Christmas this year. Thanks, Santa.

Michael Briskett (Steven Hubbell) receives an invite to Christmas dinner from the office cutie, Cindy (Casey O'Keefe), and thinks he's won a watch. But after arriving at her family home, he discovers that he might not like what's on the menu...

The DVD box is littered with positive reviews and comments about the gore level of the film. While the film is a purposefully cheesy, low budget piece and does not deliver quite the level of gore I was hoping for, it is pretty funny and hosts some performances which were far superior than I went in expecting as well as a few recognisable faces. The sense of humour keeps the film going despite the cat being out of the bag fairly early in the plot, but the 83 minute run time also does not outstay its welcome.

Our family of religious, social climbing cannibals are both caricaturistic and delightfully reprehensible and, once the chaos ensues, we are treated to some funny fight scenes and physical humour with a definite festive slant. I never knew that fairy lights could be so practical. Our small band of victims/heroes aren't developed very much given the run time but definitely keep the audience on side and deliver a few good comedy moments also.

While it's nothing groundbreaking, "Mercy Christmas" provides that lighthearted black humour someone like me tends to enjoy around this time of year and will most likely enter my annual viewing rotation.

[Image: Other Paw Productions, et al]

Hani

Minutes Past Midnight

"Minutes Past Midnight" (2016, Robert Boocheck, Lee Cronin, Francisco Sonic Kim, Ryan Lightbourn, Marc Martínez Jordán, Kevin McTurk, James Moran, Christian Rivers, Sid Zanforlin, Rue Morgue Magazine, Indiecan Entertainment, Unstable Ground Productions) is a horror anthology built up of selected shorts.

There are nine shorts in total comprising of (but not in the order of): Horrific; Ghost Train; Awake; Roid Rage; Timothy; The Mill at Calder's End; Crazy for You; Feeder; and Never Tear Us Apart.

The shorts each enjoy a different flavour of story telling and medium with some going for a more gory style and others entertaining a more ominous dread. The shorts each have their own merits, however, for me the "Ghost Train" stood out as a firm favourite both due to its intriguing plot and really nice setting.

Due to the diversity in the story telling, the film as a whole benefits from a varied and fresh feel, despite not really having a wraparound story to bring everything together.

I would definitely recommend giving it a try if you're looking for something snappy and interesting to watch.

[Image: Rue Morgue Magazine, et al]

Hani

Bone Tomahawk

"Bone Tomahawk" (2015, S. Craig Zahler, Caliber Media Company, RLJ Entertainment) is an American horror Western movie featuring two actors I admire greatly; Kurt Russell and Sid Haig.

Set in the 1890s, we follow a group of men, lead by Sheriff Franklin Hunt (Kurt Russell), as they attempt to save two of their townsfolk who have been kidnapped by a brutal, cannibal troglodyte clan.

A gritty hybrid horror which begins as a pretty traditional seeming Western film but eventually delves into some truly disturbing and creative horror gruesomeness. The cast give a stellar performance making each character rounded. The dialogue is good and the film keeps an excellent pace.

Despite the outlandishness of the story and its almost supernatural villains, the film plays out so confidently that it all seems perfectly reasonable and realistic at the time. Kurt Russell cuts a fine image as a strong sheriff with some great facial hair, In fact the whole cast is perfectly suited to their roles.

A genre blending piece which is both entertaining and shocking, "Bone Tomahawk" is a really excellent piece of cinema.

[Image: RLJ Entertainment, et al]

Hani

The Green Inferno

"The Green Inferno" (2015, Eli Roth, Worldview Entertainment, Dragonfly Entertainment, Sobras International Pictures) is a cannibal movie based in the Amazon jungle.

Justine (Lorenza Izza) is a young, fresh faced student at university in New York. She becomes obsessed with a group of campus activists spearheaded by a handsome, driven, older student called Alejandro (Ariel Levy). Her friend, Jonah (Aaron Burns), is already a member of the group and talks her into getting involved in their latest challenge: the plight of an indigenous tribe in the Amazon, who's land is being usurped by a logging company. The group plan to travel out there, sneak onto the logging site and film the company with their phones to raise awareness online. Unbeknownst to Justine, her new 'friends' also plan to use her father's links to the UN for their cause.

The group achieve what they set out to do, but during their plane trip out of the jungle things go wrong and the surviving group members wind up stranded and injured in the middle of nowhere at the mercy of the tribe of cannibals; the very people who they naively set out to save.

It holds true to Roth's usual impressive visual gore and shock value. However, aside from our protagonist, Justine, 'good guy' antagonist, Alejandro, and our 'friend-zoned' pal, Jonah, the other characters are largely annoying and disposable. Watching them die didn't stir any emotion outside of shock and disgust as, to the film's credit, the effects and gory scenes are truly excellent.

Eli Roth has reportedly said how he didn't want to remake "Cannibal Holocaust", and wanted to be as original as possible. He has certainly tried, but I think it is impossible not to end up with a film which mirrors it due to setting, content, plot and 'social message'. Really, the reality is that you can't help but compare "The Green Inferno" to "Cannibal Holocaust".

Like all cannibal films, it's not really scary or tense, just a gross out. And like "Cannibal Holocaust", "The Green Inferno" attempts to make a social commentary that just doesn't hit home as effectively as I'm sure Roth hoped. Our group of vain social warriors may be there to 'save the tribe', but they're also there to show everyone what wonderful people they all are, get laid and get lots of social media attention. And they don't really know what they're doing, anyway.

On a whole, the film is well put together and successfully made me look away for a few seconds, but I rarely felt much sympathy for our social justice warriors and also felt that the tribesmen were painted a little too menacingly. Cannibals, of course are a terrifying concept and reality, but unlike "Cannibal Holocaust" which painted the tribe as just going about their everyday culinary/religious rites, the tribe in "Green Inferno" felt more calculated and sadistic. The clan leaders seemed to be relishing in the plight of their victims more than killing and eating people because that's just what they do. Although, admittedly there was several 'food prep' scenes which demonstrated the tribe's true team ethic; taking the whole lot of them to skin, cook and prepare their first kill. After that, however, they just seem to be killing for sport, barely eating anyone else.

The post-credit scene also left a bad taste in my mouth, it felt desperate and smacked of bad, rushed story telling. Not every film needs another section after the credits.

On the whole, "Inferno" makes a good cannibal movie. It hits all the marks on the gross-meter (it's like a gauss meter for gore) and shock value and also has a go at the types of people who get involved in that kind of activism for all the wrong reasons. It doesn't really break any new ground, however, and was perhaps over-hyped.

 [Image: Worldview Entertainment, et al]

Hani

Cannibal Holocaust

"Cannibal Holocaust" (1980, Ruggero Deodato, United Artists) is an Italian cannibal exploitation movie about a group of young people, lead by Alan Yates (Gabriel Yorke), who go into the Amazon Rainforest to film a documentary about cannibal tribes and fail to return.

We follow Prof. Harold Monroe (Robert Kerman) who has been tasked with going into the rainforest to search for the missing film makers. He is helped by the military who take a young indigenous tribesman hostage to help them bargain with the tribes.

During their journey they come across some horrific scenes of cannibalism and butchery of wildlife. After randomly bathing naked, Monroe and his team are taken to the cannibals' place of worship where they have to join in the feast in exchange for getting the remaining film cannisters back from the first group, who they have learned by now are dead and eaten.

Monroe takes the surviving film back to New York where he learns from watching it that Yates and his team were far from nice people and possibly deserving of their horrific fates...

Essentially this film is gross. Gross beyond gross. The number of real animals slaughtered live on camera is just sickening and, considering that is just for the film's benefit, kind of marrs any comment the film was making about documentaries creating situations for effect... One particularly graphic scene involving a monkey's face and a knife I'll never unsee. There is also a lot of torture of women and sexual violence, the iconic skewered woman scene and the slicing of body parts for food. I'm not afraid of gore. I enjoy gore, even. But I like my gore fun and fake.

Really the film is more than just a gross out movie about cannibals, but the style of it was more car crash than intrigue: I couldn't look away but I wasn't enjoying what I was seeing. It's a social commentary about journalistic practice, integrity and ethics. But it's also a shock-film made to make you squirm, and while it is highly successful in doing that, I wouldn't say that I enjoyed it or would put myself through watching it again.

Image: United Artists

Hani

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

"The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" (1974, Tobe Hooper, Vortex, Bryanston Pictures) is the original of what was to become a franchise with the memorable gruesomely masked, chainsaw wielding killer, Leatherface (Gunnar Hansen).

Sally (Marilyn Burns) and her wheelchair bound brother, Franklin (Paul A. Partain), are travelling in a camper van with their friends, Jerry (Allen Danziger), Kirk (William Vail) and Pam (Terri McMinn) on a road trip to their old family home in the country. They hear of some odd goings on at the graveyard, pick up a psychotic hitch hiker, get some odd chat (and barbecue) from a local petrol station and eventually make it to the deserted house. Only they find that this isn't the end of their troubles as their neighbours would like to have them for dinner...

 This much copied Tobe Hooper classic is still standing strong to this day with some truly chilling scenes and disturbed themes. Although by today's gruesome standards it's not as splatter happy as it was back in the 70s, "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre" still manages to make audiences fidget uncomfortably in their seats. And it's still disturbing.

I like a Slasher film as much as the next horror nut, and Leatherface and his family are a truly scary bunch. The depravity of the film makes it one I don't watch too often, but when I do I have to admit that it is a creepy and unnerving film which, regardless of its age, still scares me on a base level.

[Image: Bryanston Pictures]

Hani

Hell

"Hell" (2011, Tim Fehlbaum, Oliver Kahl) is a German-language film about a dystopian future where the sun has become too hot to stand and the world has become a post-apocalyptic nightmare.

Surviving in a small group, Marie (Hannah Herzsprung), her little sister Leonie (Lisa Vicari) and Phillip (Lars Eidinger) are foraging the barren wasteland for water and fuel, now uncommon commodities.

They happen across another survivor, Tom (Stipe Erceg) on their travels as they head towards the Alps, where they hope there is more to live off of. Unfortunately for them they aren't the only ones still alive, and not everyone is surviving in such friendly ways.

Since I was in Germany visiting friends, I thought it would be cool to give this film a try. It's title works out rather nicely in both German and English. In German it means 'light', which is apt considering the main theme of the film, and then 'hell' also has obvious connotations in English which fit well with the post-apocalyptic scenery.

The film seems to be in two halves; the first of which is a believable and very organic feeling film about survival and human emotions; And then the second half which seems to jump into a more chaotic movie with a bit of "House of 1000 Corpses" thrown in for good measure (but admittedly much, much less crazy and a bit more realistic).

That's not to say that this film is gory. It actually does quite well to be a nail-biter without much blood actually being spilled on screen and is more an intense thriller than a 'horror'.

Nicely realistic, shot with some interesting camera work and with a hue to the screen that captures how bright and fatal the sun has become. Everything feels suitably dusty and dry.

I wouldn't say it was my new favourite, but I watched it thoroughly rapt to the screen for the full run time.

Not for those who don't like to read subtitles or don't happen to speak German, but it's an interesting concept and a film I'd recommend giving a try!

Hani 

Sawney: Flesh of Man

"Sawney: Flesh of Man" (2012, Ricky Wood, Philabeg Films) is the gore-soaked, blood drenched, modern day take on the old Scottish Cannibal legend of Sawney Bean and his in-bred family.

Sawney's back (or at least, one of his ancestors is) with a new, smaller, smarter family of in-bred cannibals (some of whom seem to be free-running, in-bred ninjas!), and this time they're not just waiting on passers by to get their munch on!

Excellently put together, completely depraved in parts, humorous and with really good special effects, this indie horror is a winner.

The picturesque surroundings are really atmospheric, and I'm happy to see that it is actually Scotland and with not many, if any, CGI effects.

The acting is good, and David Hayman in particular is excellent as the religious, maniac, cannibal daddy of the household. He delivers a crazed but strangely charismatic character with a glee that will make you uncomfortable.

There is rape of both sexes in this film, however, and a lot of gore. So it's not for the faint hearted!

[Image: Philabeg Films]

Hani

The Grim Reaper aka Anthropophagus

"The Grim Reaper" aka "Anthropophagus" aka "Zombie 7: Grim Reaper" (1980, Joe D'Amato, Shriekshow Entertainment, Hollywood DVD, Edward L. Montoro) is a low budget video nasty. This is the edited, edited, barely gory version. If you can get your hands on the full version well done! Keep it! It could be worth some money as it's damn near non-existent, and is highly collectible for fans of the genre.

You know when a movie goes by so many different titles it's either a good 'un or a 'dear god, what the hell did I just watch?' one. Well, this one's both!

The highly prudish British government in the 80s banned this film for its vulgarity. Which is why this edited version exists. And sadly, it does little justice to the full and freaky version!

And now we have "The Human Centipede" and "Saw" movies, which make this little Italian gorefest look like a kiddies cartoon! But ho hum, sick breeds sick, they say, and maybe it's little gems of terrible horror like this that are the reason such dire atrocities are even in existence (can you tell I think both of the aforementioned movies are complete bollocks? No?! Well, they're complete bollocks!). The scene which caused so much havoc in the UK, where the killer eats a foetus, has been edited out of this version.

The opening of this movie gets the obligatory semi-nudity out of the way; a couple get to a cast-over and cloudy beach, strip and the girl cavorts around in the water while the guy listens to some terrible 80s music with his fairly old and uninterested dog. The excitement begins when the dog begins 'barking' and (wait for it!) stands up and wanders about two feet before sitting back down again! This signifies that he knows something's amiss!

The horror begins, and the underwater filming is fairly impressive given the meagre budget this movie evidently had! Boyfriend takes his sweet time noticing his girl's in trouble, too. What an oaf!

We then start on our actual plot. Some young tourists are travelling around the Greek islands when they are asked by another young woman if she can tag a lift on their boat to one of the islands where she has some friends waiting and a job set up looking after a young English girl.

They happily oblige in their naive 80s way.

When they get to the island it's almost deserted! And to their dismay, they find a very dead body. They also find one survivor, the English girl that the older girl was coming to look after. And, just for fun, the English girl is blind and so can only tell them that 'the man' who killed everyone on the island is very scary and smells of blood.

When the group's pregnant friend goes missing, you'd think they'd look for her, but presuming she's on the, now sailing out to sea, boat they arrived on they turn in for the night! Great friends.

But when the 'man' arrives to take more victims, it soon turns into a quest for survival.

The props in this movie are hilarious! I especially enjoyed the oh-so-the-opposite-of-convincing severed head in the bucket! But some of the more impressive effects are done with some skinned animals, which are, of course, of questionable morality nowadays, but are damned gruesome.

A fun little jump and slash with some random back story and side characters. Even with the gore halved, it's not too boring, but it is a little slow to get started. It's just a bit wooden, terribly dated and kind of nuts!

The dubbing is kind of distracting, personally I'm a bigger fan of subtitles, but you get used to it.

Despite the wooden acting, the even more wooden voice acting of whoever dubbed over the film, and some props that looked more amateur than some of my own attempts, the film manages to be entertaining even in its heavily censored form. I'm glad I got it for 50p, though!

There are some normal horror hooks to watch for; tarot cards, ominous statements "no future", heavy breathing killer, blind, orphaned girl, pregnant lady and cleavers to name a few!

This film was the first horror film that wasn't pornography by the director D'Amato, and a year after this film was made he decided to remake it as a porno under a different title (stick to what you know, eh?).

He also make a kind-of sequel to the non-porn version called "Absurd". So there you go! Everything you ever needed to know about this crazy flick. Probably.

[Picture: Shriekshow Entertainment]

Hani

The Descent

"The Descent" (2005, Celador Films, Lionsgate, Neil Marshall) is an excellent 'adventure into the unknown' horror with an all female cast.

Now, as a girl, I am extremely disappointed in myself, but I am usually not a big fan of women in horror movies. They're; whingy, slutty, screaming nymphos; useless, screaming, panicky morons or overly-tough-screaming-bitches.

Very few films in the horror genre portray female characters in a likable light." The Descent", however, does. I can honestly say, hands down, that I can easily ignore the fact that all the characters are female and just enjoy the film. That says a lot in horror.

We follow a group of women who are on a caving trip. They're all experienced cavers and are on the trip to help our lead character, Sarah (Shauna Macdonald), who recently lost her husband and daughter in an extremely violent and shocking introductory scene.

Juno (Natalie Mendoza) is Sarah's best friend, and is the person who set up the trip as a way to say "sorry for not being there for you". How nice.

It all begins to go awry, however, when the team find out that Juno has purposefully chosen unchartered caves for their trip, believing that she can make them all famous. Things go further awry when they discover the true nature of the caves and what lies within them.

A fantastic on-the-edge-of-your-seat atmosphere and some truly grilling scenes (lots of gorey injuries to feast your eyes on, too) really make this movie a must-see.

The movie could have actually done without the monsters; being lost in an undiscovered cave with no equipment and injured or dead buddies is surely horrific enough? But you know, the quick jump from action-survival horror into monster-survival horror is seamless and effective. We also get to know our remaining characters better.

Now, for all you poor folks who only have the US ending at your disposal, let me tell you you're missing out. The true ending is haunting and awesome. Don't be fooled by the production company setting up for a sequel. I haven't seen "The Descent 2", and possibly won't, I'm not sure, but I hold true to the original UK ending; brutal!

Very well acted and the action is superb. The monsters are nicely made-up and like to jump out at you. Even the scenes prior to the monsters will definitely keep you watching.

My only real flaw with this film's plot? Surely it takes longer than that for humans to mutate and evolve into such creatures? But believe me, this won't bother you while you're watching.

[Picture: Celador Films]

Hani

ps - likely to be a bit of a gap in reviews whilst I go on a quick holiday to Italy! Will be back to my horrific viewings next weekend!

The People Under the Stairs

"The People Under the Stairs" (1991, Wes Craven, Universal Pictures) is a fun little horror about a sick couple. It's also a comment on racism and child abuse. But don't let that put you off!

A young boy living in the ghetto, Poindexter aka 'Fool' (Brandon Adams), lovingly nicknamed by his older sister as whenever she reads his Tarot cards the Fool card always comes up, decides to get involved in a robbery in order to help his family. His mother is sick, his sister, Ruby, is a young mother and his family are about to be evicted from their home unfairly. The landlords, The Robesons, are Fool and his friend Leroy's (Ving Rhames) target.

The Robesons are a creepy, incestuous couple, who keep their daughter Alice (A.J. Langer) locked up in her room. Alice behaves herself as she is painfully aware of what will happen to her if she misbehaves.

As is predictable, Mr. and Mrs. Robeson (Everett McGill and Wendy Robie) hide behind 'faith' to tell themselves that the evil they commit is ok. The couple are portrayed amazingly by McGill and Robie; manic and crazy.

In the basement are the Robeson's old children. See, they like to snatch babies and then when the children get too old or begin to display 'misbehaviour', they cut off the offending part (wicked tongues, eavesdropping ears...) and then throw them into the cellar to live like animals. They also feed them intruders, visitors and door-to-door sales people. So far, all the kids in the basement are boys. Alice is the only girl.

One child, a smart and manic kid called Roach (Sean Whalen) has escaped the cellar and now lives in the walls of the house. Roach is awesome! He is constantly being hunted by Daddy Robeson (who likes to wear a gimp suit for hunting...) with a rifle. Roach is Alice's only friend.

Fool finds himself in trouble when he and Leroy find their partner in crime dead and then cannot escape the house before the Robesons return. Leroy, being a big man, doesn't last long as he can't sneak about like Fool can.

Fool manages to escape (with the loot!) but can't live knowing poor Alice and all those crazy mutilated kids are still in that house, and goes back in to save the day. Does he make it? Watch and see!

Adams gives an enjoyable performance as our young hero.

A nicely paced movie with lots of jumps. The kids in the cellar like to jump out at opportune moments. Prince the bloodthirsty dog is a nice addition, too. Although, if you don't want to see a fake dog get stabbed through a wall with a machete.... I'm just sayin'.

A nice cheesy happy ending manages not to ruin the film. The cellar kids manage to sneak out into the big bad world, but they neglect to grab any of the free money. Dolts! Plus, they all look like gollum with hair, surely someone spotted them?!

Another small issue I have with this flick is that all the kids look about the same age. Surely they didn't steal 15 - 20 babies at the same time?

But on the good side, some blood, angry puppies, knives, guns, crazy religious people, incest, cannibalism, robbery, good intentions and explosives; what's not to like?

Worth a look, don't expect to be scared though.

[Picture: Universal Pictures]

Hani