Der Wixxer

"Der Wixxer" (2004, Tobi Baumann, Rat Pak Filmproduktion) is a German parody film based on elements of the Edgar Wallace crime films of the 1960s.

Set in London (although mostly filmed in the Czech Republic), we follow alcoholic chain-smoking Chief Inspector Even Longer (Oliver Kalkofe) and his new partner Inspector Very Long (Bastian Pastewka) who are on the case to uncover the identity of skull-masked crime lord, Der Wixxer (a corruption of the German slang for 'wanker'), who is both responsible for the murder of Even Longer's previous partner, Inspector Rather Short (Thomas Heinze) and hellbent on taking over the rule of London's crime syndicate.

With a tone of humour somewhat between a "Carry On..." movie and "Young Frankenstein", the film is entertaining but full of eyeroll moments. We have a castle which is 'the last remaining black and white castle in England', a servant called Hatler (I'll let you guess where that joke goes), a couple of dance numbers, a lot visual and verbal puns, a catalogue of humorous villains and a lot of purposefully stilted acting. A few jokes don't quite land (the racist flower seller we could have done without), but overall Der Wixxer delivers exactly what it says it will and does so with humour and a knowing wink.

As a student of the German language this film really appealed to me and I was pleased to be able to pick up on the jokes and plot (however ridiculous) pretty easily. Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to get a hold of a DVD with the English subtitles for this film which does limit the audience a little.

Definitely worth checking out if you have the means. A film that deserves a wider audience.

[Image: Rat Pak Filmproduktion]

Hani

Suspiria (2018)

"Suspiria" (2018, Luca Guadagnino K Period Media, Frenesy Film Company, Videa Mythology Entertainment, Memo Films, Vega Baby) is the arthouse re-imagining of the 1977 Dario Argento film of the same name.

Susie Bannion (Dakota Johnson) leaves Ohio and enrols in a dance academy in West Berlin. She becomes the favourite of the instructor, Madame Blanc (Tilda Swinton), but begins to suspect that something very strange is going on at the school as she and her friend Sara (Mia Goth) begin investigating. At the same time, a psychologist (also Swinton in impressive prosthetics making this, minus some minor roles, an all-female cast) is investigating the school after the disappearance of  his patient, Patricia (Chloë Grace Moretz), who had left journals stating that she believed the matrons of the school to be witches.

Cards on the table I did not love this film. I found the length excessive with long winded shots and scenes that seemed artsy for the sake of it, rather than a statement or style. The film's pacing was tedious and I found the plot to be somewhat incoherent (and that's saying something from me, a fan of some of the most incoherent B-movies ever made). The whole side-plot with the Doctor seemed unnecessary and the grim styling, which I'll get to below, coupled with the pacing made the film seem even slower. Unlike the original, the remake also didn't have a strong memorable score. In honesty, I can't imagine how this could be achieved without infringing on the original, but I felt that I barely noticed the score at all.

That's not to say that I didn't find things I liked about the film. The styling and colouration of the original could not be matched or recreated without seeming like a pointless copy, so I admire the direction of Guadagnino to go his own way. The style seems consistent with West Berlin in the 70s. The scenery is also reminiscent of the original but much more drab, grey and gritty. I also appreciated that the film was immersed completely in its German setting. As a German language learner I was thrilled to pick up most of the German dialogue without the need of subtitles. However, for non-speakers of the language it perhaps made a long film feel even longer.

The body-horror elements were really good; lots of bone breaking, gut spilling and pants pissing, and a very chaotic and Giallo-homage ridden scene filled to the brim with nude dancers and grizzled old witches. However, the journey to reach the payoffs was long and, although the gore and effects were stunning, even these scenes seemed overly long and lingered too much which, for me, robbed them of some of their effect.

While I didn't hate the film, I am unlikely to watch it again and view it as an experience as a genre fan, rather than a piece of entertainment. Clearly it just isn't for me.

[Image: K Period Media, et al]

Hani

Suspiria

"Suspiria" (Dario Argento, 1977, Seda Spettacoli, Produzioni Atlas Consorziate) is a supernatural Giallo horror set in Freiburg, Germany.

Suzy Bannion (Jessica Harper) is a young American ballet student who enrols at a prestigious German dance academy. In a memorable opening scene she arrives at the school at night during a thunderstorm to find the building locked up. Before giving in and leaving to try again during the day she glimpses what appears to be another student leaving the school in a panic and running into the woods. The next day Suzy is welcomed to the school by the stern Miss Tanner (Alida Valli) and headmistress, Madam Blanc (Joan Bennett), but learns of the grim murder of one of the students; the girl she saw running the previous night... During her studies, and having befriended neighbouring student, Sara (Stefania Casini), Suzy begins to suspect that something very grim is going on at the academy...

An intriguing film that enjoys stunning scenes. The lavish styling, setting and lighting are some of the most recognisable in film. The scoring by prog-rock band Goblin is also very unique, striking and effective. I am also a fan of the wardrobe. Every character is adorned in some beautiful garment or quirky suit - it's a real stylish piece of cinema.

Harper provides a strong but sympathetic protagonist who spends the duration of the film working things out head-on and without shying away. As with most movies of this type, keeping up with the plot can be an exercise and it's the kind of film that seems to unlock more and more detail with each viewing. We are treated with action from the onset with stabbings, hangings, razor wire pits and reanimated corpses to keep us entertained.

There's very little reference made in the film, aside from the introduction, of it being set in Germany and the scenes involving Dr. Mandel and Professor Milius can seem a little jarring and out of place. But the beauty of this movie is in its stylish flair and the urgency of its pacing.

I was first introduced to this film at an all-night horror film festival and I have enjoyed many re-watches since then. It is also the first of Argento's "The Three Mothers" trilogy.

[Image:  Produzioni Atlas Consorziate]

Hani

Anatomie 2

"Anatomie 2" (2003, Stefan Ruzowitzky, Strand Releasing) is a sequel to, you guessed it, "Anatomie". It's a German language body horror set in a Berlin hospital.

A young neurosurgeon called Jo (Barnaby Metschurat) moves to Berlin to make his big break. Quickly he manages to catch the attention of Dr. Müller-LaRousse (Herbert Knaup). The doctor invites the young man to join his research group, where Jo becomes not only acquainted with other young, inquiring minds, but becomes completely immersed in their licentious research, and therefore equally culpable if their immoral practices are found out.

However, when a fellow group member, who was having an attack of conscience, is found murdered it becomes apparent that the good Dr. may not suffer any dissension in his ranks...

I have admittedly not seen the first movie, but would definitely search it out now that I've seen its sequel. This film was so much fun. It has a strong plot, a good amount of fairly gruesome effects and a good cast of interesting and unusual characters. The film explores the ethics of research and science and the hunger for knowledge.

Jo's character is not only driven by his desire for success, but also for the desire to help his brother who has Muscular Dystrophy, giving the character a more rounded motive. His fellow researchers are all also driven by their own personal motivations. Be it sexual pleasure, vanity or fame.

A really fun film and one of the best random DVD finds I've had recently!

[Image: Strand Releasing]

Hani

Friend Request

"Friend Request" (2016, Simon Verhoeven, Warner Bros., Freestyle Releasing, Wiedemann & Berg Film, SevenPictures Film, Two Oceans Productions) is a supernatural horror centred around social media and a college campus.

Laura (Alycia Debnam-Carey) is a popular girl with over 800 social media friends. She lives off-campus with a group of pals and gets good grades. One day, she receives a friend invite from a reclusive girl in her class, Marina (Liesl Ahlers). Laura accepts the girl's request, seeing that she would become Marina's first friend... She even tries to connect in person. Big mistake. The girl becomes obsessed and takes very public umbridge when she is not invited to Laura's birthday dinner, vowing to get revenge on Laura for slighting her.

Laura gets freaked out and deletes Marina on social media. The next day news comes that Marina has committed suicide. Not just that, but she filmed it and the video has went viral about campus. In her death video, Marina publicly names Laura as the reason for her suicide. Laura's many friends begin to shun her and she soon suspects that she has been cursed...

The film has a good premise. Social media is the latest trend in horror lore, taking over from some of the older evil-technology films including the "Ring" series, etc... It does suffer from some bad scripting, some hammy scenes and a lot of tropes: of course the recluse is a goth, of course she is an orphan...

It's all very by-the-numbers, but is perfect for its target audience - teens who may just be getting into horror. As an established horror fan, it falls a little flat to me, but I don't believe I'm in their intended demographic. Whilst that does make the film suffer a little, it does deliver some good scenes and a strong, if flawed, message about being careful who you add on social media, and how much of yourself you put out there. You just never know what will be used against you.

[Image: Warner Bros., et al]

Hani

The Man Who Laughs

"The Man Who Laughs" (1928, Paul Leni, Universal Pictures) is a wonderfully dark silent film based on the book by Victor Hugo. Whilst it was not intended to be a horror film, the plot and the gloomy expressionist styling of the production lend itself to the genre.

Based in England in the late 1690s, we are introduced to King James II and his psychotic jester. A Nobleman has insulted the king and is swiftly executed via the infamous Iron Lady. Before his demise, the nobleman learns that his only son, Gwynplaine, has been captured and delivered to the monstrous Comprachico surgeon, Dr. Hardquannone, who has surgically disfigured the child's face into a horrific and permanent grin.

On a cold evening, young Gwynplaine (Julius Molnar Jr.) is seeking shelter when he finds a dead woman clutching a still-living, blind infant. He takes the baby girl with him and seeks help at the nearest house, that of Ursus (Cesare Gravina). Ursus quickly sees an opportunity to use the disfigured boy to make money.

Years pass and the now adult Gwynplaine (Conrad Veidt) is making a relatively good, but unhappy, living as a sideshow attraction known as "The Laughing Man", with Ursus and the captivating and kind hearted, blind girl, Dea (Mary Philbin). Gwynplaine has fallen in love with Dea, but although Dea returns his feelings and Ursus has offered to marry them, Gwynplaine does not think his grinning visage is worthy of such a beautiful creature.

On their travels, Gwynplaine's noble heritage is discovered and Queen Anne (Josephine Crowell) decides that the raunchy, badly behaved Duchess Josiana (Olga Vladimirovna Baklanova) should marry Gwynplaine as the true heir to his father's estates. Things do not go well, as you can imagine.

This film is wonderful. It is shocking and dark with such a horrific premise. The styling of the "Laughing Man" character is very ahead of its time with impressive prosthetics and makeup. He portrays a grotesque yet sympathetic character.

The silent era of films created such beautiful and disturbing films. If you have not seen one yet, I would recommend starting with The Man Who Laughs due to its beautiful score by Ernö Rapée, Lew Pollack and Walter Hirsch (which you will recognise as having been sampled for some of the Batman movies), clear imagery and acting, relatively fluid plot and swashbuckling scenes.

The Man Who Laughs was also the key inspiration behind the Joker character from Batman and Rob Zombie also has a track named in the character's honour.

[Image: Universal Pictures]

 

Hani

 

The Voices

"The Voices" (2014, Marjane Satrapi, 1984 Private Defence Contractors, Babelsberg Studio, Mandalay Vision, Vertigo Entertainment, Lions Gate Entertainment) is a Geman-American horror comedy.

This film has been getting a bad rap from some internet reviewers recently, and, in my view, undeservedly so. Although, when I last checked Rotten Tomatoes it was going good, basically cementing my view that this is a film for a certain type of horror fan. It's my opinion that the reason that so many 'real' reviewers are disliking this film is because they are not in the target audience. This is a gross out, horror comedy with some dark, dark not-so-subtle undertones that will appeal to fans of "Wasting Away", "The Evil Dead", "Fido" and the TV show "Dexter"... If you like your comedy funny and a little dumb but dark and you enjoy a bit of gore and insanity in your movies, then you should give this a try.

Jerry (Ryan Reynolds) is a cheerful guy working in a factory that manufactures bathtubs. He fancies a young, beautiful English lady called Fiona (Gemma Arterton) who works in accounts, is very socially awkward and believes the world to be a shiny, clean place where everyone is really nice to him.

He is also mentally ill, lives in a dirty and dilapidated closed bowling alley and believes that his pet cat (the evil Mr. Whiskers who wants Jerry to become a serial killer; voiced by Reynolds in the most awful attempt at a Scottish accent I have ever heard) and dog (The friendly yet simple Bosco, who is convinced that Jerry is a 'good boy'; also voiced by Reynolds) are talking to him.

Essentially, things start to go wrong for Jerry, who has not been taking his medication, when he is stood up on a date by Fiona... And that's when it all gets a lot darker.

Really nicely shot, this film makes an excellent use of colour to portray the perfect image of Jerry's view to the less than shiny reality. The true awfulness of what he is really doing is sharply contrasted with his sugar sweet insanity-tinged worldview, and we are made to truly feel for this character.

Reynolds portrays a character very unlike his usual roles, and brings depth to what could be a very two dimensional lead. His descent into real madness is oddly fascinating to watch and very different to that which he portrayed in "The Amityville Horror" remake.

The styling of the film manages to make the reality much more horrifying, and the surreal happenings are truly hilarious.

Whilst its quirky style and plot are likely not to keep everyone enthralled forever, I found this film really entertaining and found myself thinking about the darker undertones of it long after the shiny sing-song credits had rolled...

It also didn't help convince me that my ginger cat, Fraidy, isn't actually evil....

[Image: Mandalay Vision]

 

Hani 

Shadow of the Vampire

"Shadow of the Vampire" (2000, E. Elias Merhige, Saturn Films, Long Shot Films, BBC Films, Delux Productions) is an extraordinary film about the filming of the classic 1922 masterpiece, "Nosferatu", but it's no documentary by any means.

From the slow process of filming with the old hand turning equipment to the period dress the feeling of making this film is recreated elegantly. Humorous in places and excellently put together, "Shadow of the Vampire" is quite a captivating piece.

While filming the famously unauthorised version of Bram Stoker's "Dracula", Frederich Wilhelm Murnau (John Malkovich) is obsessively creating his masterpiece. He hires in an unheard of method actor, Max Schreck (Willem Dafoe), who refuses to 'come out of character'.

The other crew members are wary of Schreck, who is altogether a weird guy. But things become increasingly more suspicious that Schreck may be something other than human!

A truly eccentric film, I loved it. Dafoe plays the hammy horror icon to a tee and you can always rely on John Malkovich to bring some weird in. While not a scary film, it's an intriguing concept and a fun view for any fans of artsy cinema.

 

 

[Image: Saturn Films]

Hani

Hell

"Hell" (2011, Tim Fehlbaum, Oliver Kahl) is a German-language film about a dystopian future where the sun has become too hot to stand and the world has become a post-apocalyptic nightmare.

Surviving in a small group, Marie (Hannah Herzsprung), her little sister Leonie (Lisa Vicari) and Phillip (Lars Eidinger) are foraging the barren wasteland for water and fuel, now uncommon commodities.

They happen across another survivor, Tom (Stipe Erceg) on their travels as they head towards the Alps, where they hope there is more to live off of. Unfortunately for them they aren't the only ones still alive, and not everyone is surviving in such friendly ways.

Since I was in Germany visiting friends, I thought it would be cool to give this film a try. It's title works out rather nicely in both German and English. In German it means 'light', which is apt considering the main theme of the film, and then 'hell' also has obvious connotations in English which fit well with the post-apocalyptic scenery.

The film seems to be in two halves; the first of which is a believable and very organic feeling film about survival and human emotions; And then the second half which seems to jump into a more chaotic movie with a bit of "House of 1000 Corpses" thrown in for good measure (but admittedly much, much less crazy and a bit more realistic).

That's not to say that this film is gory. It actually does quite well to be a nail-biter without much blood actually being spilled on screen and is more an intense thriller than a 'horror'.

Nicely realistic, shot with some interesting camera work and with a hue to the screen that captures how bright and fatal the sun has become. Everything feels suitably dusty and dry.

I wouldn't say it was my new favourite, but I watched it thoroughly rapt to the screen for the full run time.

Not for those who don't like to read subtitles or don't happen to speak German, but it's an interesting concept and a film I'd recommend giving a try!

Hani 

Nosferatu (1922)

"Nosferatu" (1922, F.W. Murnau, Prana Film) is a German Expressionist silent horror movie based on Bram Stoker's "Dracula". Although, because it was not an authorised adaptation, in order to avoid copyright infringement, they changed the names of the characters and some small pieces of the plot. Not that this helped them at all, when the Stoker family took them to court...

Count Orlok (Max Schreck) is a vampire count living in Transylvania in the Carpathians. Sound familiar?

He is interested in purchasing a house in Wisborg, Germany (hint, not a real city) and contacts a company in Wisborg owned by a character called Knock (Renfield by any other name. Played by Alexander Granach). Knock sends young Hutter (The Harker character. Played by Gustav von Wangenheim) to the Carpathian region to meet with the count and deal business.

Hutter sets off immediately, much to the upset of his wife, Ellen (Mina. Played by Greta Schröder).

The film follows the general Dracula tale with Hutter travelling to the region, the locals being wary of the name of the count, getting to the castle by carriage and then by foot as the driver will go not closer, wolves, Orlok being creepy, a small cut and an overreaction to the "Precious blood" from the Count... yadda, yadda.

We also see Orlok travel by boat to Wisborg, killing the crew as he does in most versions of the famous tale, travelling in coffins filled with earth... and so on.

Orlok takes Ellen under his spell, distills fears in the townsfolk of plague, and drives Knock insane by turning him into a human-vampire-bug-eating-underling (not Human Servant if you read laurell K. Hamilton, you'll know that's entirely different).

The film is very old, and can be seen for free on YouTube as a slightly remastered copy with some subtitles for the ye olde script, where needed. Although all the dialogue cards are in English (but sometimes difficult to read, 'Hutter' looks like 'Butter' which just made us think of "South Park"!)

I do love this jumpy old fashioned film. Watch for things and people just popping out of sight or appearing from nowhere!

The real beauty of this film is not the acting or the plot, it's the fact it's a silent film with a traditional piano track. The makeup for the time is also excellent and the iconic image of the Nosferatu looming over the sleeping Ellen is one of the best known in cinema.

A real history lesson for any horror fan!

Some of the special effects must have dazzled the viewers in 1922; stop motion, Orlok rising into an upstanding position from a prone position, doors closing themselves, coffin lids rising... etc...

It is evident through most of the scenes that they have been shot in daylight, despite there being a vampire present... as the film equipment of the time would not have captured such scenes in a dark setting. And I'm afraid ol' Orlok has a reflection.

The overacting used in this period of film to convey the emotions and plot are hilarious for modern viewers! But were quite standard for the time, so don't go thinking this film is, in any way, bad. And Hutter's grinning, expressive face is just a hoot!

Ellen's 'I'm-sad-so-sad' look makes her look almost zombie-like and that's before she's even under the Nosferatu's spell!

Some of the scenes are just completely random, and the plot can be a bit jumpy. But on the whole, it's very well captured and the quality of the YouTube video is actually pretty damn good! Especially considering that it is not made from the original (and only, negative) but several later copies strung together! The original film may have been destroyed when they lost the rights to Stoker, I can't remember.

The demonic horses were my favourite part; real horse and cart sped up to look 'inhumanly fast' and the horses were wearing masks to make their faces look more like dragons!

Also, watch for the shipmate who looks a bit like Harry from "Dumb and Dumber"! And the weird stripey 'werewolf' in the woods!

This is a film strictly for real horror-history-geeks or people studying cinematography as an academic interest. It's not a fast or scary film and the Nosferatu's creepy, sinister movements are just laughable to the modern viewer who are more used to masked slashers and super-fast vampires in leather. Although, if you sit in a nice dark room with some candles burning, maybe there's a thunderstorm outside, this film can be enjoyed to its full extent.

Really good fun, and it lets you appreciate how horror cinema has developed.

[Picture: Arts Guild]

Hani

Nosferatu the Vampyre

"Nosferatu the Vampyre" or "Nosferatu: Phantom der Nacht" auf Deutsch (1979, Werner Herzog, Gaumont) is the West German remake of the 1922 classic "Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens". Naturally, it is based on "Dracula" by Bram Stoker.

The Nosferatu, Count Dracula (Klaus Kinski), would beat any Twi-shite sucker anyday. He's one weird, mean, ugly dude. In fact, he's so clearly not-human, I really do not understand why Jonathan Harker (Bruno Ganz), who has been sent to Dracula's castle in the Carpathian Mountains to finalise an estate deal, would even enter the castle upon seeing the Count. But I suppose, had Jonathan shown more sense, or listened to the cryptic, crazy town people, we would not have much of a story now, would we?

Jonathan leaves his wife Lucy (Isabelle Adjani) behind in Wismar, Germany to go on his journey to Romania, and she soon becomes worried for his safety.

I do enjoy Roland Topor's rendition of Renfield. Renfield is such a gloriously slimey little worm in all versions of Stoker's fabulous tale, but Topor's crazy laughs and manic eyes really bring the character to life!

Some of the scenes are very haunting and well put together, although being quite an old fashioned movie, I feel that it does not flow quite as well as some other versions of Dracula. The use of shadows seen in all good versions of Dracula, is again captured effectively. However, if you don't like rats, keep away from this film!

Herzog makes good use of the tense, slow moving Nosferatu, especially in the infamous bedroom scene. As I'm now watching as a woman rather than a child, I was struck for the first time at how rapey this scene truly is. Very scary!

Dracula is both monstrous and melancholly.. You kind of feel for the guy...

I think by today's standards you really can't expect to be scared by this film, but it's certainly creepy. The special effects are both minimal and effective, and the makeup is fab!

The Plague and rats (as I mentioned) are recurring themes in this film, and this version really uses the boat journey of Dracula to its full effect! I do love a nice ghost ship.

Lucy's character is a bit hollow, I feel, but again she's not the main crux of the story, and the film carries itself.

Beautiful scenes, clever cinematography and an artful feel, definitely make "Nosferatu The Vampyre" worth having in your collection if you enjoy creaky ol' horrors or a Dracula aficionado.

Also, it's available dubbed into English (dubbed well, might I add), so no subtitles! Hurrah!

(Picture: Werner Herzog Filmproduktion)

Hani