Dolly Dearest

"Dolly Dearest" (1992, Maria Lease, Patriot Pictures, Channeler Enterprises, Trimark Pictures, Image Organization) is a killer doll movie.

The Wade family move to Mexico because of father, Elliot (Sam Bottoms)'s new job as the operations manager of the Dolly Dearest Factory. Unbeknownst to them, a cult's burial ground has recently been unearthed and an evil spirit has escaped, finding refuge inside the bodies of abandoned dolls within the factory's stockroom. When Elliot's daughter, Jessica (Candace Hutson), finds the dolls she is allowed to keep one. Soon, Jessie and her new little friend are running amok, taking down anyone in their way and behaving altogether very strangely.

A weird film that is partly Child's Play and partly the Omen. Both the doll and the little girl are supremely creepy and while Chucky was decidedly more animated, Dolly enjoys some effective shots and prehensile, plastic fingers. I didn't dislike this movie. It is a little slow moving, but on the whole it delivers an average amount of action. Whilst it's decidedly not scary, and is very predictable, it's a good crappy horror film.

[Image: Trimark Pictures, et al]

Hani

Poltergeist (2015)

"Poltergeist" (2015, Gil Kenan, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Ghost House Productions, Vertigo Entertainment) is the remake of the Tobe Hooper 1982 classic of the same name. It was produced by Sam Raimi, whom I have utmost respect for, but I'm afraid I still am not a fan of this film.

Firstly, the film did not need to be made. The original film is still a great scare-fest to this day and stands up well when compared to its modern day contemporaries. This redo is essentially a vanity project for its makers and nothing more.

Secondly, the film isn't really sure what it is. Is it a retelling of the story? Is it a modernisation of the story? Is it a kind of sequel? Is it an abrupt collection of all the best bits from the original quickly drafter together with more modern effects and rammed into a rather dull, predictable and essentially soulless redo of these scenes? Personally, I think the last one there hits the nail on the head.

The plot is altered, which I have no problem with except that it adds a few holes into the hows and whys of the haunting. My main issue, however, is that the film just seemed to be jumping from famous, iconic scene to famous, iconic scene without so much as a plot or a character development. And as adorable as little Madison (Kennedi Clements) is and as convincing as she is in her role, the delivery of the best line of the film "They're here" just doesn't quite pack the oomph of the original. By far the best acting comes from little Griffin (Kyle Catlett) who manages to keep the plot going.

I did like the Carrigan Burke character (Jared Harris) who replaces the Tangina character from the original. I admit I had my misgivings about changing the medium character so much, but he brought a much needed sense of banter to the cast.

Also, some of the new effects are indeed fantastic. The television scene is really quite chilling and the glimpse into the other side was really well realised. However, remaking a whole film just to show off your updated effects seems a bit tired to me. Give us something new!

All in all, if you haven't seen the original you may enjoy this film. But to me it was just an unnecessary rehash with more jump scares added and a much less frightening clown doll scene.

[Image: Ghost House Productions, et al]

Hani

May

"May" (2003, Lucky McKee, 2 Loop Films, Lions Gate Films) is a film about a lonely young woman who's only friend is a creepy doll her mother made her.

May (Angela Bettis) has always been an outsider. As a child (Chandler Riley Hecht) she had trouble making friends, so her mother made her one: a china doll called Suzy.

Now as an awkward adult working as a nurse in an animal hospital, May still has no close friends. She lives alone with her doll, to whom she shares all of her secrets. She has a crush on a cute mechanic from down the street who enjoys making macabre home movies and she has a complex relationship with her colleague, Polly (Anna Faris), a quirky lesbian woman who has a soft spot for May, but won't let that get in the way of her affair with another woman called Ambrosia. May is also prone to self harm.

As May's attempts to make friends with those around her fail she becomes more frantic. She perceives her failings to be the cause of Suzy and blames the doll for her situation. Although she tries desperately to fit in and to be a good person, as the film goes on she becomes more dangerous in her desperation.

I enjoyed this film. It's fairly slow burning with a nice balance of crazy and empathy built up around our title character. Bettis creates a three dimensional character who you really feel for, but know that she's not able to cope with normality. The plot keeps moving and there's a good amount of gore, suspense and fantasy. The final scenes are a good pay off and the end scene is very reminiscent of a favourite film of mine: "Pieces". There's enough humour peppered throughout to keep the tone light and the scenes are well shot and put together.

All in all, a really fresh film, even a few years on.

[Image: 2 Loop Films]

 

Hani

The Conjuring

"The Conjuring" (2013, James Wan, The Safran Company, Evergreen Media Group, New Line Cinema, Warner Bros.) is a haunted house/possession/witchcraft film from the director who brought us "Saw", "Dead Silence" and "Insidious".

Based on a true story, we meet the Perron family.

Roger (Ron Livingston) and Carolyn (Lili Taylor - the werewolf's mother from Netflix's "Hemlock Grove") have just moved into an old house in Rhode Island with their five daughters. Upon moving in they begin to experience strange happenings - from random injuries, to scary closet monsters, to creepy imaginary friends.

Eventually it all becomes too much to ignore as the apparitions become more menacing and the family seek the help of the famous paranormal experts, Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga).

A very traditional haunted house tale that can be compared to the likes of "Poltergeist" and the "Amityville Horror" and with a bit of "The Birds" and some "Exorcist" thrown in there too.

Excellently acted and very engaging, this crowd pleaser had the audience in Glasgow squealing, whooping, jumping and then laughing self-consciously at their antics. It was a really good experience!

The film is quite a rollercoaster of jump scares and fun cinematography. Whilst it relies heavily on predictable horror tropes and slightly overused scenes (creepy old lady in a rocking chair, for example), it likes to feint jumps and get you back when you least expect it and you really feel for the characters' plight.

However, as usual with Wan films it seems, the hectic ending of constant pulse-pounding moments begins to feel more like a series of scenes with lessening terror intensity and more hilarity. There's just too much going on!

The Annabelle doll sub-plot (also really a job the real life Warrens have worked on) is fantastic and could easily spin-off as a whole film to itself! I do love the prop which is one of the creepiest yet and knocks Billy the Saw dummy off his little pedestal.

All in an excellent experience and a film I enjoyed! Hardcore horror fans might like to bump their gums about how 'predictable' this or that is, but the truth in the matter is I jumped in that cinema, so Mr. Wan, I take my proverbial hat off to you. Much better than "Insidious"!

[Image: Warner Bros.]

 

Hani

Child's Play

"Child's Play" (1988, Tom Holland, United Artists) is the first of the Chucky the killer doll series.

I was never allowed to watch any of the Chucky films as a kid because my mum was freaked out by them and also due to the links to the tragic torture and murder of James Bulger here in the UK. Although, I've often thought the media had more to do with those links than reality. The real tragedy is that those murderers were given new identities and not made to rot in prison like they deserved! And we all saw how that worked out... And also the horrific torture and murder of Suzanne Capper, who's murderers took the movie links to a whole new level of sick.

So Chucky was off the watch list. And I was always somehow intrigued by the films, just like I was with Hellraiser (for similar reasons).

Karen (Catherine Hicks) buys her young son, Andy (Alex Vincent), a 'Good Guys' doll (his favourite kids TV show) from a homeless man for his birthday. Unbeknownst to her the doll, Chucky, is actually possessed by the soul of infamous murderer, Charles 'Chucky' Lee Ray (Brad Dourif) who has been learning voodoo. The doll hadn't been Chucky's first choice for a replacement body, but it was all that was available at the time.

When the doll begins to murder people, no one will believe little Andy that it is the doll that is doing it! But, as Chucky begins to focus his murderous intentions onto his past colleagues and the cop, Detective Mike Norris (Chris Sarandon), who 'killed' him it becomes a fight for survival against the little plastic monster.

Really good special effects and models make this movie all the more creepy and Dourif's memorable voice made the Chucky doll into a horror icon. But in general if you've seen one killer doll film, you've seen them all.

The effects, disturbingly good doll facial expressions and with a few jump scares, this iconic horror remains one of the best known killer doll films out there.

[Image: United Artists]

Hani

Open Graves

"Open Graves" (2009, Álvaro de Armiñán, Alchemedia Films Manufacturas, Open Pictures, Voltage Pictures) is basically "Jumanji" with college students and horror.

A group of friends are enjoying life in the Spanish sun. Jason (Mike Vogel, who you may recognise from the Texas Chainsaw remake or from "Cloverfield") is a fresh college graduate enjoying some gap year opportunities, Tomas (Iman Nazemzadeh) is a photographer who is sleeping with as many models who are willing, Lisa (Lindsay Caroline Robba) is an aspiring model and girlfriend of Tomas, Elena (Naike Rivelli) is another model who is more than happy to give Tomas what he wants, and Miguel (Ander Pardo) and Pablo (Boris Martinez) are local guys who are good friends with Tomas and Jason.

Jason has also found a love interest in the form of Erica (Eliza Dushku), an American surfer chick out to explore the world and 'find herself'.

While wandering around the shops, Jason comes across a strange place peddling trinkets and spooky knick-knacks. He is convinced to take a game called "Mamba" as a 'gift' from the shop's owner.

At night, the gang and Erica are enjoying a beach front fire party, when a storm suddenly begins. Heading to cover inside, only to find that the power is out, they decide to check out the strange board game which Jason was given.

Each player rolls their turn and is put out of the game via a creepy 'Epitaph' card. They all dismiss the game as nonsense, but it isn't long before each 'player' begins dying in real life, and in ways ever so closely matched to their 'Epitaph' card from the game!

As the remaining friends frantically try to stop their impending doom reaching them, their number becomes increasingly small as the grisly deaths pile up.

A nice little yarn which is passable for a one-view-only, but not really what I'd call a 'good horror movie'.

The CGI isn't the best, but that's relatively forgiveable. There's a lot of would-be gory scenes ruined by it, though. The film's not scary, but it did a bring a smile to my face once or twice with the death scenes which are creative to the point of hilarity.

The game prop itself is quite impressive, though! English-written cards not withstanding... 

Really, this is just a film made to showcase the ever awesome Eliza Dushku as a sexy surfer lady, rather than a particularly serious horror film. There are a lot of good plot points hinted at and just never brought to fruition, and generally, didn't add any depth to the film.

It has potential and could be fun as a drinking game, but really next time I'll just watch "Jumanji" and then an episode of "Dollhouse"...

[Image: Voltage Pictures]

Hani

Dead Silence

"Dead Silence" (2006, Universal Studios, Burg/Koules/Hoffman, James Wan) is quite a classic style ghost story with a nicely added creep factor from an old favourite: The Ventriloquist's Dummy! If you read the "Goosebumps" story about 'Slappy' the dummy as a kid or have seen 'Magic' starring Anthony Hopkins, you may enjoy this film for that fact alone.

Jamie (Ryan Kwanten - aka Jason Stackhouse from "True Blood") comes home to his wife, Lisa (Laura Regan) to find that a strange package has arrived for him containing a Ventriloquist dummy called Billy. Perplexed, he sits it aside and goes to get some Chinese food for dinner. When he returns Lisa has been murdered, her tongue ripped from her mouth. The dummy is lying on the floor.

Naturally, Jamie is suspected to have murdered Lisa, but since there is no clear evidence, they can't hold him. And against the wishes of Detective Jim Lipton (Donnie Wahlberg), Jamie returns to he and Lisa's small hometown of Raven's Fair. In Raven's Fair there is a local ghost story about the once famous lady ventriloquist, Mary Shaw (Judith Roberts), who was suspected to have murdered a young boy and had been brutally murdered by several local men. The tale states that she hunts down relations of her killers and will kill anyone who screams in the presence of her ghost, taking both their life and their voice to add to her repertoire...

There is also, of course, the obligatory creepy child's rhyme.

Jamie goes on the hunt to uncover the truth behind the tale and stop the murderous ghost and her 101 creepy wooden 'children'.

A good yarn with some classic charm. The tale is slightly cheesy, but in the horror world this is no negative thing. Often films attempting to break the mould wind up falling flat on their face. "Dead Silence" exploits the creepy, traditional surroundings perfectly, making an obvious but effective situation for the story. The large old, carefully unlit house, the mortuary, the cellars, the abandoned theatre, the river, ghostly reflections, flowing raggedy curtains, creepy woods, graveyards with dead trees, cobwebs and fog; this film has it all!

Considering that this film is from the people behind "Saw", I was pleasantly surprised to see such a classically styled plot. "Saw" broke into some new settings horror-wise, when it was released and was creative, twisted and gory. The rest of the franchise, however, I have little time for, as they helped create and enter into the 'horror porn' arena and lost their sense of purpose and plot. "Dead Silence", although not particularly creative, keeps the horror coming and well placed gore to a conventional and very effective pace.

The ghost is scary and unrelenting, in a way that is almost from a mind similar to Sam Raimi. The dummies are creepy and effectively used, with surprisingly little overall movement, keeping things creepy and not delving into the ludicrous world of "Puppet Master".

The makeup is good, the special effects are satisfying and I enjoyed the performances of the actors, in particular heartbroken and determined Kwanten and confused and serious Wahlberg. People have complained that the characters are boring, but remember that this film is set in a small town and the people are scared shitless of a homicidal ghost... considering all that the characters are quite lifelike, really...

The addition of the mortician, Henry (Michael Fairman), was a good plot device, similar to the character of Mr. Bentley in "The Woman In Black". Other side characters seemed slightly unnecessary and didn't add much to the plot.

Overall, a fun little nail biter, that may give you a jump or two. Nothing too creative, but unworthy of all the negative comments it has received in the past. Especially considering that most of the complainers probably rate "Hostel" as an excellent horror... Tasteless idiots! I see nothing wrong with some charming old fashioned story telling, in today's modern world of cheap remakes and terrible plotless bloodfests.

Screenwriter Leigh Whannell has all but disowned this film, feeling it to be a bad effort and a blot on his CV. As much as it's certainly no "Poltergeist", I'm glad he has come to terms with the fact that this film mainly 'failed' due to the Corporate machine treading all over the creativity.

There are an alternative beginning and ending, and I feel the alternative ending may have been better than that actually selected for the film. But that's just me.

Again, this a film of many names including "Shhh..." which has got to be one of the worst names ever!

The twist can be seen coming by weathered horror fans and anyone paying really any attention to the scenes, but may surprise a few young teens new to the wonderful world of horror or any non-careful watchers.

Worth a try on a dark night with someone who hates dolls! But remember not to scream!

 [Picture: Universal Pictures & IGN.com]

Hani

Puppet Master Vs Demonic Toys

"Puppet Master Vs Demonic Toys" (2004, Ted Nicolau, Terry Kelley) is the 9th film in the Puppet Master series and the first cross over with the Demonic Toys Series. Definitely a made-for-TV film. And it's set at Christmas. And that should tell you all you need to know about it!

Ok, Ok, I'll tell you more :)

Robert Toulon (Corey Feldman) is the great-grandnephew (seriously...) of the original Puppet Master, Andre Toulon from the first movie. Robert and his daughter Alexandra (Danielle Keaton) live in a Doll Hospital, surrounded by toys which they repair. They're both kind of weird, like awkward children. I'm going assume that this was intentional.

Robert seems to have a bit of an obsession with bringing the original Toulon puppets back to life... Why, at this particular second, I don't know... but it's handy that he does because the Sharpe Corporation, an evil toy manufacturer run by Erica Sharpe (Vanessa Angel), are spying on him in order to steal his secrets and his puppets... and unfortunately his blood, because that's the main ingredient in the potion!

Erica is also quite childlike, but more like a little spoiled, bratty, girl. She kind of reminds me of Glory from BTVS, but that might just be her dress sense.

Robert and Alexandra work out how to animate the puppets on Christmas eve (ah, the magic of Christmas, bringing murderous puppets to life!) and explain to them that they are their new masters. The Puppets seem cool with that, and don't attack them.

Erica's recent line of Christmas toys are called "Christmas Pals" (damn original!) and they are alive. Well, they're demons inside the toys. The demons are there as Erica's misguided father sold his soul in order to please her with 'living' dolls. In order to control them, she has to sacrifice virgins (usually secretaries) to the demon Bael (who had surprisingly good makeup!).

The box said "Monsters, in-your-face-gore and breast-focused nudity".... there are none of these things, much to my buddy Jim's disappointment. It should have said "Evil toys and puppets, some fake blood and a secretary gets her shirt ripped open and her cleavage bitten by a demonic baby doll".... But I suppose that wouldn't have sounded half so good, right?

The demons are crass and rude, as demons tend to be, and Erica wants Toulon's secrets so that she can make obedient, yet nasty little guard puppets of her own. But she's selling Demonic Toys to children as she hopes to rule the Earth; as any modern business woman does, right? No?

After an attack by the Sharpe company, Robert and Alex flee their home and fix up the puppets with some kind of cyborg weaponry. The puppets seem pleased with this, which is good and well, else our story would have been cut short when Blade decided to cut up Toulon.

But the fun soon moves to the Sharpe company premises, where the puppets face off against the toys in a very retro-styled scene by special effects dude, David Allen, and Toulon seems to take 10 minutes to get past one guy to save his daughter from certain death by iron maiden (the torture device, not the band).

There's also a random cop lady, Jessica (Silvia Suvadova), who inspected the Toulon premises solo, decided she quite fancied a bit of Robert Toulon, and has since just been around, solo... Is it just me, or do cops usually run in pairs??? And how did she know where Toulon's ex-wife's mansion was?!

So who will win? The Puppets with their weapons, or the Demonic Toys with their teeth and apparently eye bursting laughs, I'm looking at you Jack Attack! Well you'll have to watch and see for yourself!

The special effects aren't great for a 00s movie. But the animation of Jack Attack is particularly good, especially when he, snake like, escapes his box. And I think the awkward, almost stop-animation technique adds some charm to the puppets and toys, as this is how I'd picture them moving! Also, I could get really geeky here and bring up the stop-motion master, Ray Harryhausen, and over-analyse by saying that maybe David Allen was paying some homage to him in some way. But then again, maybe it's just a low-budge made-for-TV film, and I'm just a SFX nerd... probably more likely.

Corey Feldman's Robert Toulon character is awkward and a bit nuts, but I find this entertaining. Plus, he keeps tripping over things, which I presume to be part of the plot, or else someone put the mark on the wrong bit of floor for him! He's also got that funny voice thing going on again (you know, the one Chrisian Bale is so fond of mimicking in Batman).

The plot is just nuts, the script is not the best, with lines like "What's the ruckus?" and a need to explain every move of every character, just in case you didn't think what they were doing was in any way to do with plot development.

And as I said, no nudity, other than Corey Feldman in his boxers, a secretary's bra and an evil corporation lady's almost boobs. Oh, and did I mention a particular lack of blood?

Also, Feldman and Keaton don't really look much like father and daughter. But I can assure you, he's about 33-ish in this film, and the pigtails she's sporting indicate 'young teens' in the movies, so I suppose it's ok.

But all in all, I laughed, Jim laughed and now we have something else to watch on Christmas eve along with 'Die Hard' and 'Scrooged'.

[Would you shake hands with Pinhead?

Picture: Sci Fi Pictures]

Hani