Inhuman Kiss

"Inhuman Kiss" aka "Sang Krasue" (Sitisiri Mongkolsiri, 2019, Nakid, CJ Major Entertainment, M Pictures, Transformation Films) is a Thai horror romance centred around the Southeast Asian myth of the female Krasue spirit (aka Kasu or Ahp); the flesh eating floating head of a beautiful woman trailing entrails and tentacles, and the male Krahang; a ferocious male spirit.

We meet four children, Sai, Noi, Jerd and Ting, who are playing in the forest near an abandoned house. Jerd tells the group that the house is haunted by the spirit of a woman and then the children play hide and seek in the house. 

Years later Ting (Darina Boonchu) is married with a baby, Sai (Phantira Pipityakorn) is training to be a nurse, Jerd (Sapol Assawamunkong) is working with Sai as well as falling in love with her and Noi (Oabnithi Wiwattanawarang) has moved away from the village to live in Bangkok, much to the despair of Sai, who is in love with him. Everyone seems to be getting on with their lives when suddenly Noi returns to the village with a band of hunters on the trail of a Krasue spirit who is killing and eating the livestock. But Sai discovers to her horror that the Krasue is actually a curse and she is the one they are hunting...

Having just appeared on Netflix, and seeing a clip of the insane Krasue transformation online, I knew this would be my kind of film. But I was pleasantly surprised to find it was much more than I had expected. The film delivers a full and interesting plot as well as the gore and effects and manages to strike a balance between the cheesiness of the action and the rather straight-faced character development of our main three characters; Sai, Jerd and Noi. With a run time of just over 2 hours, I had expected to feel things were dragging a little, but the film's action is quite evenly spaced and the run time wasn't really a factor.  The effects are excellently achieved, and I felt the fact it wasn't trying to be funny really worked in its favour. Definitely worth checking out.

[Image: Nakid, et al]

Hani

Girl on the Third Floor

*Spoiler warning*

"Girl on the Third Floor" (2019, Travis Stevens, Queensbury Pictures) is a haunted house story.

Don (CM Punk) is attempting to renovate an old and dilapidated house for he, his wife, Liz (Trieste Kelly Dunn), and their impending new arrival. As Liz ties up their affairs in the city, Don takes their dog and moves in to the house with his tools and an endless supply of beer. But things in the house aren't quite... right. Strange substances and sweets keep appearing, Don constantly feels like he's being watched and a very flirty stranger called Sarah (Sarah Brooks) won't stay away. He's also receiving strange vibes from the local pastor, Sadie (Elissa Dowling) and seems to be extremely unpopular at the local watering hole/bowling alley.

When he's joined by his friend, Milo (Travis Delgado), things change up a gear and it becomes apparent that the house, or something within it, wants them all out. Or worse...

I'd heard good things about this film and went in open minded and keen for a good spookfest. I'd first say that the set up is overly long. The scenes are well shot, but there are a lot of scenes of Don doing various DIY-ing without anything spooky happening so when the spooky stuff comes along it felt a little long winded. On the other hand, we get a good feel for the kind of character Don is and his less than savoury past and nature. There are also several well done shots where the various old mirrors around the house reveal some creepy happenings which I found to be very effective.

Whenever I see a dog in a movie I know it's not going to be around for long, and spoiler or not, poor old puppy does not last the duration.

The reveal and finale were fun but felt like a completely different film to the first half and didn't meld particularly well. Overall, I enjoyed myself but the film is very slow burning and took its time getting any actual plot started.

[Image: Queensbury Pictures]

Hani

I Married a Witch

"I Married a Witch" (1942, René Clair, Paramount Pictures) is a black and white comedy romance based on the unfinished novel titled "The Passionate Witch" by Thorne Smith which was later completed by Norman H. Matson .

The witch, Jennifer (Veronica Lake), curses the Wooley family in Puritan times after she and her father Daniel (Cecil Kellaway) are denounced as witches and sentenced to death by Jonathan Wooley (Fredrich March). The Wooley curse is to never find happiness in love, and this haunts the descendants of the Wooley clan up until 'present' day.

When Jennifer and Daniel's spirits are released by accident on the eve of Wallace Wooley's (also Fredric March) wedding to spoiled, gold digging bride, Estelle (Susan Hayward), Jennifer sees an opportunity to further punish the Wooley clan and attempts to woo Wallace and ruin not only his unhappy wedding, but also his run for Governor. But spells can be tricky things, and often go awry...

Veronica Lake is stunning, but the best thing about her is her comedic timing. Jennifer is a marvellous character and we enjoy every devious minute that she's on screen. The film enjoys great pacing, fantastic effects, considering the time of production, and a delightful and well portrayed story.

If you're looking for some lighthearted Halloween entertainment, this could definitely be for you.

[Image: Paramount Pictures]

Hani

Truth or Dare

"Truth or Dare" (2018, Jeff Wadlow, Blumhouse Productions) is a fairly solid college horror.

After a shocking opening scene we are introduced to Olivia (Lucy Hale), Lucas (Tyler Posey), Markie (Violett Beane), Brad (Hayden Szeto), Tyson (Nolan Gerard Funk) and Penelope (Sophia Taylor Ali) who are a group of college kids heading out on their final Spring Break holiday together. The group travel to Mexico where we are treated to their drunken Instagram story montage before we join them in a bar/nightclub. By this point we have established the characters' personalities be they goody-two-shoes like Olivia, or a bit of a knob like Tyson.

Feeling a little jealous of her friends' romantic lives, Olivia starts chatting to a guy at the bar (Landon Liboiron) after he intervenes when a college acquaintance named Ronnie (Sam Lerner), won't take no for an answer. Upon introducing himself as Carter the guy invites Olivia and her friends to a secluded building for an after party. Desperate to prove herself to be fun, Olivia persuades her friends and, somehow also Ronnie, to go. The group begin to play a game of Truth or Dare which suddenly escalates when Carter announces that he has tricked them all to begin playing as his own dare. He warns them that they cannot break the rules and leaves the confused and stunned group.

After returning home, Olivia and the others begin to experience strange occurrences and it soon becomes evident that Carter was not lying and they really are caught in a life or death game that won't end...

A pretty grim, if simple, premise that manages to be intriguing and entertaining. The characters are mostly unlikeable, but in that charming horror film way that we're all accustomed to. As the game progresses we get to learn a little more about each person's secrets as well as how far they are willing to go in order to remain alive.

The effects and death scenes are excellently portrayed with the odd 'snapchat filter' face of those possessed by the game managing to be both creepy and oddly subtle. Each death has a quality of creativity similar to the "Final Destination" films, and there were times I even found myself wincing.

For a film I'd anticipated to be one of the common disposable college horror films, it actually delivered a pretty solid and even somewhat thoughtful piece which evaluated the selfishness of the characters as well as entertained me with some good ol' gruesome antics. Of course the story behind the game felt a little cheesy, but what's a horror film without some cheese?

[Image: Blumhouse Productions]

Hani

Winchester

"Winchester" aka "Winchester: The House that Ghosts Build" (2018, The Spierig Brothers, Bullitt Entertainment, Diamond Pictures, Imagination Design Works) tells the curious tale of Sarah Winchester, based-on-real-events.

Sarah Winchester (Dame Helen Mirren) is the heiress to the Winchester repeating firearms company. After the death of her husband and child she became more and more reclusive, believing herself to be haunted by the spirits of people killed by her company's products. She employs construction crews around the clock constantly changing and developing her house into a mysterious manor full of twists and turns and doors which lead to nowhere. A house which was later to be referred to as the Winchester Mystery House.

Eric Price (Jason Clarke) is a doctor whom the management of the Winchester company employ to declare Winchester unfit to own controlling shares in the organisation. While Price is suffering from him own troubles, and a penchant for laudanum, he decides to give Winchester a fair assessment, staying with her for a week and letting her tell her story.

The film delivers one or two effective jump scares, and a bounty of beautiful set designs. It boasts a talented cast, who deliver a perfectly acceptable performance, and it tells the tale of one of the most intriguing buildings in existence. However, it seems that this film has been universally panned. Could it be that primarily American audiences are too immature to appreciate a film that is at its core (and not exactly subtly) anti-gun? Or is it something else? I'd like to believe that there is more to horror viewers than their personal politics, so I'm going to focus on areas where I felt the film was lacking.

Despite the intricate scenery of the film (including some shots of the actual house) and a few well executed jump scares there was very few scary moments after the halfway mark. After the big reveal of the nature of the more deadly of spirits lurking around the house, the film began to be a little too liberal about showing us all. A little more mystery in the Mystery House may have kept viewers more on-side.

Price's backstory added a somewhat unnecessary link into the plot which I felt was more heavily focused on than our main story. Unlike the "Annabelle" side plot of "The Conjuring" which acted as a thrilling sidebar to develop the characters, Price's story becomes more involved than Winchester's. Although I did enjoy his story and his period drug abuse to an extent, it felt almost as if our titular character's story was of lesser concern.

All in all, the film suffered from being both slow and showing too much to the point where all tension was lost.

[Image: Bullitt Entertainment]

Hani

Radius

"Radius" (2017, Caroline Labrèche, Steeve Léonard, EMA Films, Peripatetic Pictures, Title Media, Filmoption International) is a supernatural thriller.

Liam (Diego Klattenhoff) awakes to find himself suffering from amnesia after a car crash. He flags down a car looking for a lift only to find, to his dismay, a corpse within. Spooked, he walks on to a roadside diner to find everyone within also dead. Convinced that there is some airborne virus, he makes his way to his home (known to him because of his driving licence) to wait out the epidemic. Soon, however he finds that it is his own close proximity, and not a virus, that is the cause of the mysterious and sudden deaths. Things become even more confusing when a woman (Charlotte Sullivan) finds Liam who not only also has amnesia, but whose own close proximity to Liam stops his deathly curse. As the pair are hunted by the authorities, who are following up on the mass deaths, they begin to uncover more and more about their lives and how their stories are intertwined.

A really excellent yarn that was engaging, twisted and kind of beautiful. The film plays out the mystery at a good pace and we uncover the clues along with the characters. Despite their amnesia, we develop a link with Liam and "Jane" that makes the twists and turns of their journey that much more hard-hitting.

The deaths of the unfortunate humans and animals who encounter Liam's deadly radius are quick but chilling and the bloodless white-blue eyes were a haunting and stylish touch.

A film definitely worth checking out, "Radius" delivers its intrigue and its thrills in a steady balance and manages a couple of pulse-pounding scenes where our protagonists must fight to stick together or else doom those around them.

 

[Image: EMA Films, et al]

Hani 

Minutes Past Midnight

"Minutes Past Midnight" (2016, Robert Boocheck, Lee Cronin, Francisco Sonic Kim, Ryan Lightbourn, Marc Martínez Jordán, Kevin McTurk, James Moran, Christian Rivers, Sid Zanforlin, Rue Morgue Magazine, Indiecan Entertainment, Unstable Ground Productions) is a horror anthology built up of selected shorts.

There are nine shorts in total comprising of (but not in the order of): Horrific; Ghost Train; Awake; Roid Rage; Timothy; The Mill at Calder's End; Crazy for You; Feeder; and Never Tear Us Apart.

The shorts each enjoy a different flavour of story telling and medium with some going for a more gory style and others entertaining a more ominous dread. The shorts each have their own merits, however, for me the "Ghost Train" stood out as a firm favourite both due to its intriguing plot and really nice setting.

Due to the diversity in the story telling, the film as a whole benefits from a varied and fresh feel, despite not really having a wraparound story to bring everything together.

I would definitely recommend giving it a try if you're looking for something snappy and interesting to watch.

[Image: Rue Morgue Magazine, et al]

Hani

The Mummy (2017)

"The Mummy" (2017,  Alex Kurtzman, Universal Pictures, Perfect World Pictures, K/O Paper Products, Sean Daniel Company) is the modern take on the infamous Egyptian-themed monster movie.

"The Mummy" 2017 is also what happens when mainstream Hollywood does "horror". Even with the historical links of Universal Pictures and horror, this movie fails to deliver either a fun, campy monster movie or any kind of scares. It sits in a chasm, lost in its confusing plot and satisfies neither the horror aficionado nor the intrigued, average cinema goer.

Nick (Tom Cruise) is a soldier serving in Iraq. He and his pal, Chris (Jake Johnson), happen across a buried Egyptian tomb. With the help of archaeologist, Jenny Halsey (Annabelle Wallis) and their other army friends, they accidentally set free the vengeful mummified corpse of Princess Ahmanet (Sofia Boutella). Nick finds himself cursed by the Princess who is determined to reclaim her throne under the blessing of the God Set (Javier Botet). Oh, and for some reason Russell Crowe is Dr. Henry Jekyll because... reasons.

The movie's aesthetics are great. Boutella's mummy is beautiful and ambitious. The effects on her eyes are particularly cool and she gives a good performance. Unfortunately, the character is neither scary nor gross so her antagonist loses some effect.

Tom Cruise's character is pretty generic but I enjoyed his overall performance as a roguish asshole. However, the ridiculous plot robs Nick of any relatability and things quickly dissolve into action flick madness with little substance.

For me the best character was probably Chris who plays a small homage, in part, to Jack from "An American Werewolf in London" and gets in most of the best lines in the film.

All in all there was just so much going on which gave the film an overall feeling of being directionless. The inclusion of other franchise's characters *cough* Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde seem tacked on and pointless and the film lacked the gruesome qualities of the Brendan Fraser era Mummy films or the classic eeriness of the Boris Karloff Universal movies. The plot seemed stuck in a limbo where we weren't sure what kind of movie this was trying to be.

All in all too much of a weak mish-mash to consider a successful remake. But some of it was pretty to look at.

[Image: Universal Pictures, et al]

Hani

The Bye Bye Man

"The Bye Bye Man" (2017, Stacy Title, Huayi Brothers Pictures, Intrepid Pictures, Log Angeles Media Fund, STX Entertainment) is a supernatural horror set in a house rented by some American college students.

The film enjoys an exciting and brutal opening where a man toting a shotgun goes around slaughtering his neighbours whilst repeating "Don't think it. Don't say it" and demanding to know if his victims have said "his name". We then shift to present day where three students, Elliot (Douglas Smith), John (Lucien Laviscount) and Sasha (Cressida Bonas), are moving into the house where most of the murders took place 40-odd years ago. The group find all the furniture in the basement (this scene felt like it was going to take a "Cabin in the Woods" turn) including a bedside table with writing scratched into it saying "Bye Bye Man". The table also keeps producing weird old coins.

The group have a party which results in a seance where they basically blurt out the boogeyman's name, releasing him upon themselves. We then spend the rest of the movie watching the group try not to murder each other, while being pursued by the dark, mysterious figure.

There's a whole lot of hate in internet-land for this movie, and I don't feel it deserves it completely. The acting is fine, the characters are developed enough and the setting is spot on.

There's a somewhat weak cop plot line involving Carrie-Anne Moss which could have been more effective, but all in all the movie is just your average, unimaginative teen horror fodder. And that's OK! Movies age, and as an ex-teen horror fiend myself, having more up to date teen horror movies helped introduce me to the genre and then the classics (where I learned that there is much more to horror than a Scream mask). The genre needs these light, silly horrors as much as it needs challenging, mind bending ground-breakers. And, in comparison to some other horrors I've sat through recently, "The Bye Bye Man" is far from the worst. There are a few effective scenes with tiny doors, shadows and dressing gowns (although that last one gets seriously overused). I'd say the effects are familiar and tropey, but have a kind of safe, fun jump-scare charm. Like a horror film with training wheels.

Now, that's not to say it's not got some glaringly obvious flaws. The first, of course, is the title. It's awful. I'm sure they were going for "nursery rhyme horror chic", but what we ended up with is just a crap title for a bad guy. Which leads me on to the Bye Bye Man himself; this character is portrayed by the great Doug Jones. Jones is someone you'll recognise from Hellboy, Buffy, Pan's Labyrinth, Hocus Pocus (to name but a few) and he's a talented, respected character and creature actor. The real tragedy is that he was not utilised nearly enough in "The Bye Bye Man". The character design is dull and tropey and we barely get to see Jones actually do anything in this film. So many missed opportunities!

All in all, this movie does not deserve the ribbing it's getting. It's a bit of a cheesy, throwaway modern horror film that will end up in the 'sleepover horror' box, but it's certainly not the worst attempt I've seen even this year.

[Image: Intrepid Pictures, et al]

Hani

Sadako vs Kayako

"Sadako vs Kayako" (2016, Kōji Shiraishi, Kadokawa Daiei, NBC Universal Entertainment Japan) is a crossover of the Ring and Ju-On series. The film actually began life as an April Fools' Joke, but was actually turned into a real feature length film after having a good reception.

When college students, Yuri (Mizuki Yamamoto) and Natsumi (Aimi Satsukawa), come across the cursed video tape they had learned about in class they unwittingly watch it, releasing the curse of the forever creepy and forever vengeful Sadako (Elly Nanami).

In another part of town high school student, Suzuka (Tina Tamashiro), moves in next door to the infamous Saeki house and begins to notice creepy things. After unwittingly following some young trespassers into the house she becomes 'grudged' by the ghosts of Kayako (Runa Endo) and Toshio (Rintaro Shibamoto).

The girls' seek to rid themselves of their respective curses, with the help of psychic, Keizō (Masanobu Ando) and his associate; brutally honest, blind, psychic girl, Tamao (Mai Kikuchi). The psychic team decide to try to pit the ghouls against one another in a bid to end both curses forever!

While the film is a little cheesy, busy and definitely favours Sadako's screentime over her rival, Kayako, it works well as a crossover due to its fun characters and humorous fight scenes. There are still some eerie scenes reminiscent of both franchises' roots, but also some comedy in there that oddly works with the offbeat, and somewhat ridiculous plot. I also enjoyed Keizō and Tamao's extremely random repartee.

The film is oddly charming and, like all crossovers, has a strange fanfiction-like atmosphere.

[Image: Kadokawa Daiei)

Hani

Open Graves

"Open Graves" (2009, Álvaro de Armiñán, Alchemedia Films Manufacturas, Open Pictures, Voltage Pictures) is basically "Jumanji" with college students and horror.

A group of friends are enjoying life in the Spanish sun. Jason (Mike Vogel, who you may recognise from the Texas Chainsaw remake or from "Cloverfield") is a fresh college graduate enjoying some gap year opportunities, Tomas (Iman Nazemzadeh) is a photographer who is sleeping with as many models who are willing, Lisa (Lindsay Caroline Robba) is an aspiring model and girlfriend of Tomas, Elena (Naike Rivelli) is another model who is more than happy to give Tomas what he wants, and Miguel (Ander Pardo) and Pablo (Boris Martinez) are local guys who are good friends with Tomas and Jason.

Jason has also found a love interest in the form of Erica (Eliza Dushku), an American surfer chick out to explore the world and 'find herself'.

While wandering around the shops, Jason comes across a strange place peddling trinkets and spooky knick-knacks. He is convinced to take a game called "Mamba" as a 'gift' from the shop's owner.

At night, the gang and Erica are enjoying a beach front fire party, when a storm suddenly begins. Heading to cover inside, only to find that the power is out, they decide to check out the strange board game which Jason was given.

Each player rolls their turn and is put out of the game via a creepy 'Epitaph' card. They all dismiss the game as nonsense, but it isn't long before each 'player' begins dying in real life, and in ways ever so closely matched to their 'Epitaph' card from the game!

As the remaining friends frantically try to stop their impending doom reaching them, their number becomes increasingly small as the grisly deaths pile up.

A nice little yarn which is passable for a one-view-only, but not really what I'd call a 'good horror movie'.

The CGI isn't the best, but that's relatively forgiveable. There's a lot of would-be gory scenes ruined by it, though. The film's not scary, but it did a bring a smile to my face once or twice with the death scenes which are creative to the point of hilarity.

The game prop itself is quite impressive, though! English-written cards not withstanding... 

Really, this is just a film made to showcase the ever awesome Eliza Dushku as a sexy surfer lady, rather than a particularly serious horror film. There are a lot of good plot points hinted at and just never brought to fruition, and generally, didn't add any depth to the film.

It has potential and could be fun as a drinking game, but really next time I'll just watch "Jumanji" and then an episode of "Dollhouse"...

[Image: Voltage Pictures]

Hani

The Lords of Salem

"The Lords of Salem" (2012, Rob Zombie, Alliance Films, Automatik Entertainment, Haunted Films, IM Global, Blumhouse Productions) is the film I was most excited for at Glasgow Fright Fest 2013.

As a fan of Rob Zombie's music and his films, I was waiting in anticipation for this film and it was one of the first main attractions for going to the festival (not that I wouldn't have gone had it not been showing!).

I'm pleased to say I was not disappointed, and while Lords isn't quite in the same style as "House of 1000 Corpses" or "The Devil's Rejects", it is really enjoyable! I felt it was well put together, and had the feeling of a Hammer Horror (such as "The Devil Rides Out") mixed with a touch of "Rosemary's Baby", there was also some classic 70s horror weirdness in there, especially any scenes with the Beast himself in them.

Heidi (Sheri Moon Zombie) is a radio DJ on Salem's local radio station. She co-hosts a show with her sometimes lover, Herman "Whitey" Salvador (Jeff Daniel Phillips) and also Herman Jackson (Ernest Lee Thomas).

One day, Heidi receives a strange record by a band called "The Lords" in a creepy wooden box. After a drunken night in with Whitey, they stick on the record and it behaves strangely, trying to play backwards. When it finally starts playing Heidi begins to feel strange and see odd visions. She kicks Whitey out and heads to bed where she dreams strange dreams.

Regardless, they play the record on the show and it becomes a hit with the listeners. The Lords also announce a gig in Salem and provide free tickets to anyone who wants them. But are The Lords all that they appear? Or is there something more sinister going on? And is the sweet little old landlady and her sisters really all that sweet?

An atmospheric film which is both slow burning and also quite trippy, The Lords of Salem is enjoyable and weird. Good visuals and a fitting soundtrack give the desired effect. Although, it's not for everyone, and is certainly no gore fest.

Several notable scream queens are present in this film including:

• Magenta from Rocky Horror, Patricia Quinn
• Meg Foster (she was in John Carpenter's "They Live")
• Barbara Crampton ("Re-Animator")
• María Conchita Alonso ("Predator 2", "The Running Man")
• Dee Wallace ("E.T.", "The Howling", "The Hills Have Eyes", "Cujo")

 The coven scenes are excellent, if you can handle that much naked old lady, and really hark back to the glory days of witch horror, when Vincent Price was hunting them down and Joan Fontaine was losing her mind to witchcraft!

I actually liked the end which sped up and delved back into the Zombie we know and love and, for me, brought all the craziness to a head.

Good, different, but not gory, this film may be a point of contention amongst fans, but is a bold move by the ever talented Rob Zombie.

[Image: Haunted Films]

Hani

The Ring Two

"The Ring Two" (2005, Hideo Nakata, DreamWorks Pictures) is the sequel to the American "The Ring" which I have reviewed earlier here: http://horrorev.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/the-ring-2002.html

This version is not a remake of the Japanese sequel to "Ring", but in fact an original story of its own.

Naomi Watts returns as Rachel, the mother with the odd little boy who refuses to call her 'mum' or 'mom'. It's been some months since the incident with Samara's spirit and the evil video tape, and Rachel believes she is free of her after getting young Aidan (David Dorfman) to make a copy of the tape and resultantly curse his own grandfather!

Simon Baker (whom you may recognise from 'The Mentalist') makes an appearance as Rachel's boss, Max.

Rachel and Aiden have moved away from the city and are now living in a quiet town in Oregon. She is working for a small town newspaper, and focussing on being with her son. It isn't until a local teen is found dead and facially disfigured in a way similar to Samara's previous victims, that Rachel realises that her actions in the first film have had repercussive effects. Upon seeing Rachel at the side of the body, Samara decides to make her her new mother, and begins to haunt she and Aidan once more.

Whilst the first movie is much more frightening and jumpy, this film has an effective feeling of dread and a build up of tension as you realise that Aidan has more in common with the spooky young girl than at first suspected.

With creepy children and jumpy ghosts, this film satisfies the need for a haunting horror. I would always recommend the Japanese versions over the American ones for spook-factor, but Naomi Watts, David Dorfman and the ever creepy Daveigh Chase (although, her parts are mainly stock footage) keep the film engaging.

Not a bad follow-on film at all.

[Image:DreamWorks Pictures]

 

Hani 

Thinner

"Thinner" (1996, Tom Holland, Spelling Films International, Paramount Pictures, Lions Gate Entertainment) is an adaptation of the Stephen King book of the same name. It's a story with a not so hidden message: Be a nice person and don't piss off any gypsies!... Or else!

This film has suffered from a lot of criticism, but I watched it with an open mind and can't really understand the harshness of some people's views. Yes, it's a simple plot, and yes it features primarily unlikable characters, but is that really so worthy of a damning review? I think not. For a start, I rarely like a lot of characters in horror films... Like most people I always wind up rooting for the bad guy! However, in a film such as this there is no particular bad guy or good guy. Just people being all grey and in-betweenish. Some are dicks and some are cruel, and some don't deserve their fate and that's that. Maybe that's why some people don't like this film?

Billy Halleck (Robert John Burke) is a morbidly obese lawyer. His wife, Heidi (Lucinda Jenney), is trying to get him to lose weight, but he's just not very motivated: he likes his food, he likes his booze and he's got money, why bother losing weight?

Their daughter, Linda (Bethany Joy Lenz), is his pride and joy, and out of all the characters, he relates most casually to her. His wife is a bit of a moan, so I can't blame him for that! ;)

Billy has just won a case for a known criminal and gangster, Richie "The Hammer" Ginelli (Joe Mantegna - yes, the voice of Fat Tony from 'The Simpsons'!) - so you know he's due some bad karma!

Aside from being fat, lazy and with a dubious set of morals when it comes to his profession (but then again, he's a lawyer!), I didn't see him as too bad a guy, really. His mates on the other hand...

There is a gypsy carnival in town, which is causing a stir, particularly amongst the local Judge, Cary (John Horton) and Police Chief (Daniel von Bargen), who are prejudiced against the gypsies and sexist to the young gypsy girl, Gina (Kari Wührer).

When driving home one night, and while otherwise occupied... Billy accidentally runs over an elderly gypsy woman, killing her! He finds a way to get around that whole problematic law thing about cars and killing folk, however, which results in him being faced with the wrath of the Gypsy leader, Tadzu Lempke (Michael Constantine), who curses him.

Naturally, the curse begins quite positively, as Billy is still eating like a horse, but is losing weight. It isn't until he realises that the weight loss won't stop that he becomes worried!

I found this film entertaining, and although the 'twist' was quite obvious, this is more from having read a lot of Stephen King stories, rather than it being uninspired. The characters are unlikable because this is their purpose to the message. I was confused, though, as to whether there was a secondary hidden message about being content and a nicer person and being thin, hungry and devious.... But maybe I'm over thinking it.

The effects are good, and quite gruesome, but not in a particularly gory way (most of the time). In particular, the thin Billy stuff is quite shocking. It's all a bit schlocky, which I like, and for some reason I felt this film was from earlier than '96!

Not many Stephen King adaptations are done successfully, but I like this one. It's got a good simple plot, some angry gypsies, curses, revenge, brutal off-screen deaths, back-firing revenge attempts, gangsters, fat suits, car chases, skeletal people... What more do you want?

Give it a chance, even if you haven't read the book!

[Image: Spelling Films International, Paramount Pictures & Lions Gate Entertainment]

Hani

The Ring (2002)

"The Ring" (2002, Gore Verbinski, Dreamworks Pictures) is the American remake of the 1998 Japanese film. Although I prefer the Japanese version and find it to have superior scares, this film is spooky and I highly recommend seeing it! I'm also thinking of trying to pick up an English translation of the book!

The basis of the plot: There is an urban legend of a VHS video tape which, if you see it, will kill you 7 days from first viewing. Some teenagers accidentally view it while in a cabin for the weekend, and soon all die off. Worried aunt, Rachel (Naomi Watts), of one of the deceased begins to investigate this phenomenon upon hearing of the legend and seeing the peculiarly timely deaths. She is also worried for her son, Aidan (David Dorfman), who was very close to his cousin.

In true horror movie form, and fairly reminiscent of "Candyman", Rachel watches the strange tape and then proceeds to show her ex-husband, Noah (Martin Henderson), and so on. Soon it's a race against time to try to solve the tape's origins and stop her impending death, while also experiencing the week-long haunting which comes with the sentence.

I enjoyed Naomi Watts' performance as the determined protagonist, as she slowly unravels the history of the tape and attempts to find a solution in order to help herself and others. She manages be both intense and strong without going into that annoying 'female lead' mode which involves a lot of screaming and hysterics.

Unlike Raimi, when he remade "The Grudge" some years later, Verbinski opted to take the story entirely out of Japan. I think both styles of remake have worked very well, and take nothing away from the story. But I do find "The Grudge" to be generally more scary, mainly because the ghost moves in a much more eerie manner than in this film, taking more styling from the Japanese originals.

The special effects are enjoyable, the tense scenes built up excellently and the enveloping story is good. There is a particular scene that I just can't watch again (I am a horse lover...)!

As I mentioned, I think the only reason this film just isn't as scary as the Japanese version is just the stylistic movements of the ghost girl, (Daveigh Chase), but the plot, acting and haunting scenes are good. And there are definitely scares to be had here, too! I especially enjoy the child actors in this film, who give a very convincing and unsettling performance.

[Image : Dreamworks Pictures]

Hani

The Vault of Horror

"The Vault of Horror" (1973, Roy Ward Baker, Amicus Productions, 20th Century Fox) is a British horror anthology made after "Tales From The Crypt" but before "Creepshow" and based on the horror EC Comics. The cast were all famous names from the day.

The main story follows five men entering an office building in London and one by one entering a lift (or 'elevator' for all you non-British types). The lift quickly passes all of the floors the men had previously selected, and takes them instead to a sub-basement level.

The men enter this strange floor to find a table set with beverages and chairs, and also that the lift has no call button, meaning that they cannot now leave.

Being Englishmen, they decide to make the most of it and sit at the table to enjoy some free alcohol. Good on them, I say!

Being in a somewhat odd situation at the moment, their conversation soon comes to an odd theme: recurring nightmares. Each man describes his own hellish nightmare, each resulting in that man's death. They tell each one in great detail, and state how real the dream always is.

There are five stories, one for each man.

Midnight Mess
Harold Rogers (Daniel Massey - best known for being in "Roads to Freedom") kills his sister Donna (played by Daniel's realife sister, Anna Massey - best known for being in "Hotel du Lac") in cold blood in order to claim her inheritance. He then goes for spot of dinner in a local restaurant. Unfortunately for him, Donna's not the girl she was and this particular restaurant would rather serve him for dinner, than serve him dinner...

A nice little tale to start up the stories. A few nice touches such as the hilarious tap for blood letting. Story let down by terrible vampire fangs!

The Neat Job
Arthur (Thomas Terry Hoar-Stevens aka Terry-Thomas - best known for his many roles as the typical toffee-nosed Cad in British film, but I personally recognise him from "Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines" and "Munster, go home!") is a neat freak. His poor wife Eleanor (Glynis Johns - fondly known as the mother in "Mary Poppins"), a young wife who is not a neat freak, has a terrible time putting up with his constant nagging and increasingly violent (by the day's standards) outbursts. She eventually can't stand anymore....

Excellent build up, I knew what was coming, but I loved every minute of it! Eleanor's tears were very believable, and I loved the neatly labelled jars and elongated maniacal laughter!

This Trick'll Kill You
Sebastian (Curd Jürgens - "The Spy Who Loved Me") is a magician/illusionist on holiday with his magician's assistant wife, Inez (Dawn Addams - "The Moon is Blue") in India. After publically humiliating a local illusionist in front of his audience, Sebastian is later intrigued by the illusionist's assistant who is a rope charmer. When she will not sell him the trick, he talks her into coming to his hotel room to show his 'sick' wife. He then kills the girl and tries to charm the rope. Unfortunately for him, the rope has a mind of its own and has taken a severe dislike to him!

A good, well paced short with some impressive scenes of the rope moving on its own. The scenes where it attacks Sebastian are not great, but this is the 70s!

Bargain in Death
A man, Maitland (Michael Craig), is seen awakening in his coffin. He slowly begins to remember how this situation occurred. Safe to say he's made a grave (get it?) error in trusting his pal Alex (Edward Judd)... Things turn for the worse when two young medical students turn up with a grave robber to steal Maitland's corpse!

Really good. The scenes inside the coffin are excellent and the ending is worth a smile!

Drawn and Quartered
Moore (Tom Baker - known to most people as Doctor Who - the 4th Doctor) is a struggling artist in Haiti. He learns from an acquaintance that his paintings which he had sold for virtually nothing to a London art dealer after terrible reviews and rejections, are now being sold for a lot of money! Furious when he learns that he has been cheated by the art world, he visits a local Voodoo Priest and asks for a way to pay them back for the wrongs they have done to him. His wish is granted, but he should be more careful how he uses it and what he paints in future.

An excellent story which takes voodoo out of the zombie territory and into a more "Dorian Grey"-esque realm. There's even some lovely gore, but remember it's a 70s British horror, this ain't no "Driller Killer"! Don't expect too much blood.
Very well paced and my favourite of the lot, not just because Tom Baker is a legend!

The film ends with a nice twist, where the lift doors open to reveal a graveyard, and we learn of the men's true fate and their reason for meeting.

Nicely haunting and well laid out, this film encompasses everything that horror comics did/do. I recommend!

[Picture: 20th Century Fox]

Hani

Drag Me To Hell

"Drag Me To Hell" (2009, Sam Raimi, Universal Pictures) is a movie about a girl who is cursed by an old lady.

Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) is a bank loan officer. Feeling like she is failing in her career prospects because of her friendly nature, she finally takes out her frustrations on a creepy old woman, Sylvia Ganush (Lorna Raver), who is looking for another extension on her mortgage. Christine tells Mrs Ganush that she cannot give her an extension, and Mrs Ganush begs her to reconsider (like literally, on her knees). Christine has Mrs Ganush thrown off of the premises.

She later runs into Mrs Ganush again who attacks her and tells her she's cursed.

Then the crazy terror begins. In true Raimi style it's nuts and manic! And uh... gross. Brilliantly gross! And hilarious! Like a live action 'Tom and Jerry' cartoon if it had been written by Sam Raimi.

I think Alison Lohman does very well in the, how can I say it? - 'female Ash' role. Which it pretty much is; innocent person put into crazy situation, goes crazy, does crazy things.... it never ends well for them! She goes crazy in an entertaining way. And she's feisty, not the poor-me female lead... but hell does she scream! OK, she's no Bruce Campbell, but I find her performance most enjoyable.

The spirit torments poor Christine through the whole movie. She cannot find forgiveness from Ganush, as she is dead, and she simply appears mad to everyone around her, including her boyfriend Clay (Justin Long). Thankfully, she finds help from a fortune teller, Rham Jas (Dileep Lao), the only person who believes her. Jas convinces her to pay Shaun San Dena (Flor de Maria Chahua), the woman we see at the beginning of the movie who was unable to save a young cursed boy, $10,000 to save her.

There's some séance-ing along with some chanting of "I welcome the dead into my soul!" which reminds me of the deadite's chant in 'Evil Dead 2'; "I'll swallow your soul!"

Really fun, even if it is a bit odd; I mean, crazy old lady or not, surely someone explained what mortgaging your house meant to her?!

Anyway, I'd recommend for some gore, fantasy violence and shock value. And it's very loud!

[Picture: Universal Pictures]

Hani