Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

"Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday" (1993, Adam Marcus, New Line Cinema) is the ninth film in the franchise, which, including "Freddy vs Jason" and the 2009 reboot, now contains twelve films in total. It is also not the first in the list to claim to be the "final" (see 1984's "The Final Chapter").


The oft resurrected, hockey-masked antagonist, Jason Voorhees (Kane Hodder), is killed by an FBI operation. Once in the morgue, however, the wiley undead killer manages to possess the coroner and go on a rampage through the town, jumping from body to body in the process. Hunting him down is bounty hunter, Creighton Duke (Steven Williams), who believes that someone of Jason's bloodline can be the key to his final demise. If he's right, however, they could also be the key to Jason resurrecting himself in a brand new body....


A schlocky film that doesn't waste any time with a lot of character building and goes straight into the gore and killings. It's chock full of hints to other franchises too with an Evil Dead Necronomicon at Camp Crystal Lake which has since been explained as an Easter Egg justification for Jason's strength and longevity, and, of course, a small cameo from Freddy Krueger... well, part of him, anyway, as a lead-in towards the 2003 film.


It's a definite B-movie sequel with lots of cheesy dialog, some scenes that drag on and a meandering plot that does not always navigate plot holes well. We also, obviously, miss our physical Jason-stalking as he possesses others throughout the film. While the gore is fun and the characters ridiculous enough to be entertaining, the film as a whole is definitely not one of the better Friday entries.

[Image: New Line Cinema]

Hani

Shrooms

"Shrooms" (2007, Paddy Breathnatch, Vertigo Films, Capitol Films) is a film about taking hallucinogenics...

A group of American college students go on a camping trip in Ireland and take a lot of hallucinogenic mushrooms... After telling some scary stories by the campfire the group retire, but Tara (Lindsey Haun), takes a deathcap mushroom which causes her to have seizures and begin to see a creepy figure stalking them all. As the night progresses, Tara witnesses the deaths of her friends at the hands of the creepy creature... Or, is she just tripping?

A trope heavy feature with some heavy handed scripting and a meandering plot with some obvious twists. The trippy atmosphere is effective considering the subject matter, however, it does make the the already slow plot seem even slower. It's a film about taking mind-bending mushrooms, but a slightly more coherent plot could have saved what was a promising film with some good, if tropey, jump scares.

[Image: Capitol Films]

Hani

Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

"Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse" (2015, Christopher Landon, Broken Road Productions, Brucks Entertainment, Oops Doughnuts Productions) is a zombie horror comedy.

A small group of scouts (Tye Sheridan, Logan Miller and Joey Morgan) head out on their last camp, with full intentions of ditching the overnight and heading to a much cooler "seniors secret party" happening in town. A zombie outbreak puts a stop to their plans and they have to take down as many zombies as possible with the help of an ass-kicking barmaid from the local strip club (Sarah Dumont).

A pretty predictable horror comedy gross-out with a really promising and engaging set up which quickly becomes very samey and joins the other primordial soup of 'zombie comedy horrors' already out there.

The acting is good, the characters are even pretty likeable and funny, but sadly there's only so much that cheesy one-liners, zombie kitties (and tits) and buckets of gore can do in a genre so overdone as the zombie comedy horror genre.

[Image: Broken Road Productions, et al]

Hani

The Final Girls

"The Final Girls" (2015, Todd Strauss-Schulson, Groundswell Productions, Studio Solutions, Ulterior Productions, Stage 6 Films, Vertical Entertainment) is a satirical slasher horror comedy.

Max (Taissa Farmiga) is the daughter of a B-movie scream queen called Amanda (Malin Åkerman) who has been typecast since her role as shy-girl Nancy in cult 80s B-movie "Camp Bloodbath" (a clear homage to "Friday the 13th"). On their way home from one of Amanda's auditions they are involved in an awful car accident, leaving Max as the sole survivor.

Three years later, on the anniversary of her mother's death, Max is convinced by her best friend's horror-obsessed stepbrother, Duncan (Thomas Middleditch), to attend a screening of "Camp Bloodbath" at the local cinema. Her best friend, Gertie (Alia Shawkat), and her crush, Chris (Alexander Ludwig) both agree to come with her. During the show a horrific fire breaks out and Max, Duncan, Chris, Gertie and Chris' possessive ex, Vicki (Nina Dobrev), all escape by tearing a hole in the cinema screen. When they get through they realise, however, that they have somehow found themselves inside the film and are unable to escape!

The gang have to join the film's cast of clichéd 80s horror characters in the film's plot and attempt not to get killed by the machete wielding, masked murderer, Billy (Dan B. Morris). However, thanks to Duncan, they are all too aware of the horror 'rules' and Max also has to get used to seeing her mother again in the flesh as an unwitting, teen camp counsellor.

An interesting premise which sounds a lot hoakier than it is. This film was really entertaining. The cast, as well as being recognisable, are really great. The characters are a great blend of purposefully twee and actually likeable. The plot is silly, but the film enjoys some really nice camera work and good comedic writing. Whilst it's not an entirely original idea to explore the horror 'rules', "The Final Girls" also enjoys a surprising level of emotion and stands out as a fun example of satirical horror.

[Image: Groundswell Productions, et al]

Hani

Sleepaway Camp

"Sleepaway Camp" (1983, Robert Hiltzik, American Eagle Films, United Film Distribution Company) is a slasher set at an American summer camp.

Since the summer is drawing to a close, I thought I'd see it out with an old favourite. Angela (Felissa Rose) was very young when her brother and father were killed in a motorboat accident on the lake. She now lives with her eccentric aunt and her cousin, Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten). Angela is very quiet and introverted and doesn't speak much. This makes her a target for bullying when she and her cousin arrive at summer camp.

As soon as camp begins mysterious deaths and accidents begin to happen, all linked in some way to Angela and anyone who is bothering her. This film covers some quite shocking subjects including a paedophile chef, rape, camp bullies, bad camp staff and gender identity. All while also delivering some truly campy gore. Pardon the pun.

By far the most memorable part of this film is its infamous twist ending which still holds some punch to this day, despite its confusing sub-plot. While the film is tropey and definitely sits on the exploitation movie shelf, it covers some unsettling ground.

[Image: American Eagle Films]

Hani

The Blair Witch Project

"The Blair Witch Project" (1999, Eduardo Sánchez, Daniel Myrick, Haxan Films, Artisan Entertainment) is one of the first Found Footage horror films I'd ever heard of.

As a teen I thought this film was scary. As an adult I'd say it was more atmospheric and some very good, realistic acting. The dialogue seems genuine and so doesn't have the forced feeling that some modern attempts have achieved.

Three students go missing in the woods while filming a documentary about local legend, The Blair Witch. All that was found was their footage.

The filming is very handycam, but not as purposefully shaky as some of the more modern attempts. The characters are surprisingly well rounded too, considering that we only really know them from their banter amongst themselves.

When the scary stuff starts it's not as graphic or as scary as we're used to, but the build up is actually quite impressive, propelled by Heather Donahue's tearful performance as she breaks down.

The main issue, despite the lack of actual physical scares, is that we are watching hand-filmed footage and so do not see much straight, head on action. While this can be used to affect (See "Rec"), it can be disorientating. Mainly I found it distracting. I'm not a huge fan of found footage.

However, the creep factor is definitely there and although it won't have you chewing the cushions, if you turn the lights out it will definitely please the casual horror film viewer.

I just laugh to think of all the hype at school about how it was all 'real'.

[Image: Haxan Films]

Hani

Bloody Cuts : Dead Man's Lake

"Dead Man's Lake" (2013, Ben Franklin, Jonny Franklin, Joel Morgan, www.bloodycuts.co.uk) is a short from the Bloody Cuts free online horror anthology.

Wow, this one blew me away! Set up like an 80s slasher, the opening credits are awesome! The title theme is spot on, the clothing is suitably 80s and yet it's all still very British.

Three friends go camping in the woods near Dodman's Lake. As the couple try to get all snuggly wuggly in their romantic setting, their explosive-obsessed friend is busy running around throwing fireworks.

But, unknown to them, someone else is there with them... Is it all it appears?

A tale with some jumps, some gore and a moral that's actually really heart wrenching, I recommend any slasher fans definitely give this one a look!

[Image: www.bloodycuts.co.uk]

Hani

Friday The 13th (2009)

"Friday The 13th" (2009, Marcus Nispel, Michael Bay, Paramount Pictures, New Line Cinema, Platinum Dunes) is the remake of the first four original "Friday the 13th" films, pretty much, all mashed into one.

Well, what can I say other than, as usual, Michael Bay's stamp has once again brought mostly disappointment to a classic reboot which had so much potential. Although, it's not really his fault. He didn't direct it. It's the man behind 2003's "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake, Marcus Nispel, who did all of that.

I'm just venting here. The main problems with this film is the sheer uncreative pitfalls which it falls into.

I love films which involve teens, cabins, woods, mishaps and murder. But, I also like a little bit of something different in there, too. "F13 Reboot" only goes through the motions and ups the sex and gore. The kills aren't tense or scary, and the characters are too same-y and obnoxious. I refuse to believe that all floppy haired boys in America are complete douche-bags!

The kills feel like they are just checking off the list and often I found myself sighing audibly and just waiting for the scene to end. I'm usually the relishing type. 

Jason is excellently played by Derek Mears, a mountain of a man, who gives us a faster-moving, thinking Jason Vorhees, still with menacing demeanour. The main fault in the Jason character is his severe lack of good lurking. Sure, he's lurking but he's too obvious, and where's the creepy 'from Jason's perspective' bits?

The film starts at the end of the original film, but also covers two separate groups of teens.The characters are disposable as hell, which is handy as they get disposed of as fast as hell!

The grounding point of the original F13 films is that Jason died because camp counsellors were drinking and having sex, instead of looking after him. And so, there's plenty of boobs and there's more sex scenes than horror... And who doesn't like a bit of beer pong and (slightly safer than real life) danger can?

The gore is good, even if the kill scenes themselves are just boring, long and nothing to write home about. But there's too much going on and just generally the film feels like an empty, oversexed gore-fest without any real comedic breaks (even if they do try hard to create this in three characters).

Of course, I can't really fault the acting, which, for an F13 film is excellent. Mainly because the actors playing the 2 Dimensional slasher fodder this time are actually known. Oh, and naturally, I do love Jared Padalecki, who makes this film flow a lot better than it would have otherwise as he searches for his missing sister (from the set of teens who were camping).

Now, I'm not saying it's anything worse than some of the other "F13"s out there, because, like all horror franchises, they jumped the shark so high they ended up in space... Quite literally, see 'Jason X'. 

Plus, we get to have the hockey mask!

But it's nothing new, and apart from being a vehicle for some young actors, a string to the director's bow and a fab creative project for the special effects guys, this film holds nothing I care about and probably doesn't even appeal to the teens of today, who should, in my view, really be made to watch the originals anyway! Give me a grainy, dirty, low budget slasher flick over this film any day.

First they beheaded his mother, now they're stealing his wild-growing weed!

Hani

Friday the 13th (1980)

"Friday the 13th" (1980, Sean S. Cunningham, Georgetown Productions inc., Sean S. Cunningham Films, Warner Bros. & Paramount Pictures) is a slasher film I usually keep for watching on an actual Friday the 13th, but you know, I was just in the mood to watch some teen camp leaders get butchered... Wow, that makes me sound like a bit of a psycho, doesn't it?

I first watched this film as a 12 year old, alone, having snuck back out of bed once my parents had begun snoring.... At least, that better have been snoring! This was film 3 of a marathon which included "Halloween", "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Night of the Living Dead". My mum definitely knew I was awake, and I suspect left me to it so I'd learn my own lesson when I was too scared to go back upstairs to the bedroom in the dark myself...

Camp Crystal Lake had been closed for some time, ever since some kids were killed on the premises. But after a few years have gone by the owners decide it's time to bury the past and reopen the camp for the summer. They hire a bunch of teens to clean the camp up and get it ready to receive the young guests. The teens will also act as the camp counsellors once the children arrive. I have a good friend who's flown over to America a few times to work in camps like this. She'd never watch this film with me.... I wonder why?

Everything seems to be going to plan; cleaning, cooking, pre-brutal-death horror movie sex scenes... But it isn't long before people start to go missing...

A lively 80s B-movie slasher with a fair amount of gore that doesn't feel the need to get too OTT, there are some scenes which are very tense and a good, cheesey enveloping back-story to boot. Although, like everyone, I enjoy this film for the 'body reveal aspect' and chase, which is particularly good and very reminiscent of 'Halloween', a film which creator Cunningham was inspired by according to the internet.

In a franchise known to quickly 'jump the shark' with many increasingly outrageous (and frequently hilarious) sequels, the first film is a classic for 80s slashers, with an ending that gave me the serious creeps as a kid and can still catch me to this day!

It doesn't need to be Friday the 13th to enjoy!

[Image: Georgetown Productions inc., Sean S. Cunningham Films, Warner Bros. & Paramount Pictures]

Hani