Sunday 28 January 2018

Vampires

"Vampires" (1998, John Carpenter, JVC Entertainment Networks, Largo Entertainment, Spooky Tooth Productions, Storm King Productions, Columbia Pictures) is a vampire hunter film set in New Mexico.

Jack Crow (James Woods) is the leader of a group of vampire hunters working for the Vatican. He and his men either use an arrow attached to a winch on their car to drag the creatures into the sunlight or just stake them. Although, they're also fairly fond of firing a lot of ineffectual bullets around the place.

During a rowdy celebration, the hunters are attacked by a Master Vampire named Valek (Thomas Ian Griffith). And the surviving members, Jack and Tony (Daniel Baldwin), escape with a prostitute named Katrina (Sheryl Lee) who is in the process of becoming a vampire. Joined by a young priest called Guiteau (Tim Guinee), they face off against Valek who is seeking a fabled crucifix which can allow vampires to walk in the sunlight. (It seems that Valek beat Spike to the punch by roughly a year).

Not one of my favourite Carpenter films, but the film remains action-packed, violent and enjoys some cheesy one-liners. Both surviving vampire hunters, Crow and Tony, remain flawed heroes in the way that Carpenter excels at creating. They are neither particularly likeable nor are they infallibly skilled. They make mistakes, they treat others cruelly but they're trying to save the world.

Valek is styled in your traditional vampire way with lank dark locks, pale features and a tendency to nibble on young maidens. He does, however, enjoy some fun and brutal fight scenes and sports a particularly deadly manicure.

An entertaining vampire flick that isn't trying to be clever. The Master of Horror has many other films where he offers food for thought, "Vampires" just isn't one of them.

[Image: Columbia Pictures, et al]
Hani

Tuesday 9 January 2018

The Shape of Water

"The Shape of Water" (2017, Guillermo del Toro, Double Dare You Productions, Fox Searchlight Pictures) is a dark fantasy about love.... and vivisection.

Elisa (Sally Hawkins) has been mute since infancy and speaks in sign language. She works as a cleaner at a large research facility with her friend, Zelda (Octavia Spencer), -who chats enough for both of them- and spends her free time with her friend and neighbour, an artist called Giles (Richard Jenkins).

During her time cleaning up the suspiciously bloody messes at the facility, Elisa comes to know one of the research specimens; a humanoid aquatic creature (Doug Jones) with whom she shares a bond of boiled eggs, sign language lessons and music. Unfortunately, the scientists and military personnel at the facility, particularly the fairly unstable Colonel Strickland (Michael Shannon), do not have nice plans for the amphibious man and Elisa becomes determined to save her unusual friend.

An unusual love story between a creature worthy of the Black Lagoon and an imaginative and adorable, but lonely woman. The film begins fairly slow-burning and took its time to introduce the set up and characters, but enjoys some more outlandish scenes within the imagination of Elisa. The film explores the nature of the loneliness of being different and touches on some prevalent topics from '60s America, including race and sexuality and the lingering distrust from various global tensions (most notably, of course, the Cold War). Hey, guess not much has changed, really.

The effects are, as ever with the works of del Toro and with the characters of Doug Jones, exceptional and both very realistic and fantastic in their strangeness.

A film that manages to be peculiar, haunting and, at times, humorous, as well as delivering a thoughtful and entertaining piece of cinema. And a nice, cerebral (and oh, so weird) link to the Hellboy universe. It deserves all the awards it can hoover up, in my view.

[Image: Double Dare You Productions, et al]
Hani

Monday 1 January 2018

Bloody New Year

"Bloody New Year" aka "Timewarp Terror" (1987, Norman J. Warren, Lazer Entertainment, Target International) is a British New Year themed, supernatural horror movie.

A group of unruly friends find their way onto a strange island which is trapped in a time-loop where it is always New Year's Eve 1959.

A fun premise that suffers from just too much going on. Is it about evil science experiments? Is it about ghosts? Is it about zombies? Is it about a British version of The Shining? The answer? Apparently all of the above.

Our group of pals are pretty unlikable and our ghostly hotel could have done with a bit more build up but all in all the film is entertaining for its 50s party atmosphere. The film is pretty silly and suffers from some directionless story-telling, but if you're looking a cheesy late-night New Year's romp, then look no further.

[Image: Lazer Entertainment, et al]
Hani

New Year's Evil

"New Year's Evil" (1980, Emmett Alston, Golan-Globus Productions, Cannon Film Distributors) is a slasher film set at New Year's Eve.

Diane, also known as Blaze, (Roz Kelly) is a new wave punk rock icon who is hosting a New Year's Eve countdown, concert and telethon in Hollywood. Her show is televised and linked to other New Year events being hosted around the US across its slightly varying timezones. During her telethon, Blaze receives a call from someone using a voice changer who boasts that he will kill a 'naughty girl' as the clocks strike midnight in each timezone and that one of the victims will be her. Worried, Blaze asks for more security, but will it be enough to save her from this midnight murderer?

There are not that many New Year's Eve/Hogmanay horror films out there as far as I'm aware. So I was pleased to find that this film offered all the cheese that I wanted. From the make up and fashion, to the tunes, to our 'master of disguise' killer and the concert crowd itself.... There's no way to say that this wasn't entertaining. Even if it was also not particularly great.

It's not big, it's not clever and, despite trying, the twists and turns don't really add much mystique to the plot. As far as slasher movies go, it's pretty standard fare and it's not really anything to get excited over. But for a theme film in a pretty niche area, it's entertaining enough.

[Image: Golan-Globus Productions]
Hani