Girl on the Third Floor

*Spoiler warning*

"Girl on the Third Floor" (2019, Travis Stevens, Queensbury Pictures) is a haunted house story.

Don (CM Punk) is attempting to renovate an old and dilapidated house for he, his wife, Liz (Trieste Kelly Dunn), and their impending new arrival. As Liz ties up their affairs in the city, Don takes their dog and moves in to the house with his tools and an endless supply of beer. But things in the house aren't quite... right. Strange substances and sweets keep appearing, Don constantly feels like he's being watched and a very flirty stranger called Sarah (Sarah Brooks) won't stay away. He's also receiving strange vibes from the local pastor, Sadie (Elissa Dowling) and seems to be extremely unpopular at the local watering hole/bowling alley.

When he's joined by his friend, Milo (Travis Delgado), things change up a gear and it becomes apparent that the house, or something within it, wants them all out. Or worse...

I'd heard good things about this film and went in open minded and keen for a good spookfest. I'd first say that the set up is overly long. The scenes are well shot, but there are a lot of scenes of Don doing various DIY-ing without anything spooky happening so when the spooky stuff comes along it felt a little long winded. On the other hand, we get a good feel for the kind of character Don is and his less than savoury past and nature. There are also several well done shots where the various old mirrors around the house reveal some creepy happenings which I found to be very effective.

Whenever I see a dog in a movie I know it's not going to be around for long, and spoiler or not, poor old puppy does not last the duration.

The reveal and finale were fun but felt like a completely different film to the first half and didn't meld particularly well. Overall, I enjoyed myself but the film is very slow burning and took its time getting any actual plot started.

[Image: Queensbury Pictures]

Hani

Mercy Christmas

"Mercy Christmas" (2017, Ryan Nelson, No Mercy Pictures, Other Paw Films) is a festive holiday cannibal film.

Santa brought me this film for Christmas this year. Thanks, Santa.

Michael Briskett (Steven Hubbell) receives an invite to Christmas dinner from the office cutie, Cindy (Casey O'Keefe), and thinks he's won a watch. But after arriving at her family home, he discovers that he might not like what's on the menu...

The DVD box is littered with positive reviews and comments about the gore level of the film. While the film is a purposefully cheesy, low budget piece and does not deliver quite the level of gore I was hoping for, it is pretty funny and hosts some performances which were far superior than I went in expecting as well as a few recognisable faces. The sense of humour keeps the film going despite the cat being out of the bag fairly early in the plot, but the 83 minute run time also does not outstay its welcome.

Our family of religious, social climbing cannibals are both caricaturistic and delightfully reprehensible and, once the chaos ensues, we are treated to some funny fight scenes and physical humour with a definite festive slant. I never knew that fairy lights could be so practical. Our small band of victims/heroes aren't developed very much given the run time but definitely keep the audience on side and deliver a few good comedy moments also.

While it's nothing groundbreaking, "Mercy Christmas" provides that lighthearted black humour someone like me tends to enjoy around this time of year and will most likely enter my annual viewing rotation.

[Image: Other Paw Productions, et al]

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The Dead Don't Die (2019)

"The Dead Don't Die" (2019, Jim Jarmusch, Kill the Head, Focus Features) is a comedy horror about zombies set in a rural American town. Not to be confused with the 1975 horror neo-noir film set in the 1930s.

Chief Cliff Robertson (Bill Murray) and his deputy, Ronnie Peterson (Adam Driver) are out in the woods confronting Hermit Bob (Tom Waits) about whether he has been poaching the racist farmer, Farmer Miller (Steve Buscemi)'s chickens. After doing that they leave, remarking that it is surprisingly still light outside despite the time. The cops are later called to a crime scene where it appears that the victims were attacked by wild animals. However, they soon find that some graves in the cemetery appear to be open and that the dead have arisen from them and are back for brains... and coffee. There is also that new undertaker in town, Zelda Winston (Tilda Swinton) who speaks with a Scottish accent and seems fond of Samurai swords... Could this all be related to the Polar Fracking in the news? Is the world doomed?

In the hands of another director this film could have been pretty fun. With cameos and characters portrayed by Iggy Pop, Danny Glover, Carol Kane & Selena Gomez amongst others, not to mention having top billing with Bill Murray, this promised to be a nice new comedy horror to add to the genre. Unfortunately, Jarmusch's bleak, middle-American style and purposefully stilted scripting robs the film of a lot of charm rather than adding to it.

The styling and handling also seems to overpower the talented cast, whose performances seem to be constrained within the film's parameters and are unable to give it their all. Murray is the master of deadpan, but the forced style of the script undermined his performance a little. I did, however, enjoy the scene with him lying to comfort officer Mindy (Chloë Sevigny); it was decidedly the most human moment between any of the characters and showed a glimpse of what could have been.

The film attempts to have some political messaging but is handled in such an overtly clumsy way it's hard to tell what the stance is and there's some strange fourth wall breaking that doesn't seem to fit into the context of the plot and felt kind of tacked on.

Some of the jokes land, but there are some less witty moments that didn't seem to work and whole scenes of build up that go nowhere or wind up with off-screen deaths which make it all for nought. While this may be a purposeful joke intended to poke fun at the horror genre at large, it didn't read that way during viewing.

There are some fun gory moments, and a lot of Easter eggs (again some more subtle than others) and tropey in-jokes.

Overall I wasn't bored, but the film style didn't lend well to the plot and overall I was a little disappointed.

[Image: Focus Features, et al]

Hani

They Look Like People

"They Look Like People" (2015, Perry Blackshear, Signature Entertainment) is an independent psychological thriller about a man who is convinced that people are turning into evil creatures. He travels to stay with a friend in a bid to protect him.

Wyatt (MacLeod Andrews) travels to New York City to stay with his old friend, Christian (Evan Dumouchel). Both men have recently become single and Christian is tentatively seeing his boss, Mara (Margaret Ying Drake).

Wyatt is a withdrawn guy and it's slowly revealed that he believes that people are becoming possessed by some evil entity. He is seen to be stockpiling weapons in Christian's basement. Christian seems like a well adjusted guy, but he suffers from some insecurities and seems to be looking to find a purpose in life.

An arty film with a very slow pace and somewhat rudderless plot. It feels like it has a lot to say about mental health but the message, for me at least, was not particularly clear, and overall I found myself pretty bored throughout and have to admit that the film just isn't for me. The film likes to keep things unexplained, which can work in some ways, but in this case it just made the purposefully slow run time feel even longer.

The cast do a great job and the characters feel very human, but overall the styling of the film made my interest ebb after the first 30 minute mark and it felt like it was spending too much energy trying to be clever and not enough energy on actually being engaging.

For an early film from new film makers it's a good accomplishment and doesn't feel amateurish or badly made. Despite a low budget, the film uses the characters alone to build tension and does a good job of creating believable relationships between the characters; particularly between Wyatt and Christian.

If you're into slow paced, character-driven films this might be right up your street, but for me it missed the mark.

Hani

Look Away

"Look Away" (2018, Assaf Bernstein, Vertical Entertainment) is a dark psychological horror about the dangers of wishing you were someone else...

Maria (India Eisley) is an alienated teen girl, who's only friend, Lily (Penelope Mitchell), has a boyfriend Maria is harbouring secret feelings for. As well as being bullied and outcast at school, Maria is subjected to criticism at home, especially from her plastic surgeon father (Jason Isaacs). Maria discovers that her reflection, Airam, has a mind of her own and offers to switch places with Maria to help solve her problems. Maria submits to this and her more confident and aggressive double assumes her place in the real world, leaving Maria watching from the mirror realm... But, as Airam begins to exact ruthless revenge on those who upset Maria, Maria finds that she is unable to stop her or get her own place back in the world....

A surprisingly grim film, I especially enjoyed the scenes with the figure skating. The film also isn't scared to flirt with some darker aspects with the father character, without losing sight that it is a teen film. There are some plot twists that deliver quite well, some that don't seem to hit the mark as well, but without derailing the overall plot. And Eisley gives a great performance as both our timid protagonist, Maria, and our wily antagonist, Airam.

Overall, I found the film enjoyable, but it does suffer from having quite slow pacing, which takes away from the overall energy that is later built up during the revenge scenes. The intrigue of the premise kept me engaged, however, and, although it's certainly no perfect piece, I would venture  back for a rewatch in the future.

 [Image: Vertical Entertainment]

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Doctor Sleep

"Doctor Sleep" (2019, Mike Flanagan, Intrepid Pictures, Vertigo Entertainment, Warner Bros. Pictures) is the film adaptation of Stephen King's 2013 follow up to his novel, "The Shining". It's also a sequel to Stanley Kubrick's 1980 classic film adaptation of "The Shining".

Mike Flanagan continues to impress with his spooky style and crafting. As a big fan of both The Shining and also the novel of "Doctor Sleep" itself, I was pleased to thoroughly enjoy this film.

Danny Torrance (Roger Dale Floyd) and his mother Wendy (Alex Essoe) move to Florida after the events at the Overlook Hotel. Danny is deeply affected by what he saw and learned in the Rocky Mountains, but he's also being dogged by the hungry spectres of the hotel who have followed he and his mother. Luckily, the spectre of Dick Hallorann (Carl Lumbly) is also still around and with his help, Danny is able to find a way to lock the Overlook's ghosts away.

Years pass and we find Danny (Ewan McGregor), now "Dan", has followed his father's footsteps and become an unemployed alcoholic with anger issues. But when he is contacted through the Shining by a young girl called Abra (Kyliegh Curran) who believes that she and other children with the gift are in danger at the hands of the devious True Knot gang lead by Rose the Hat (Rebecca Ferguson), he finds himself and his friend, Billy Freeman (Cliff Curtis) are the only ones able to offer their help.

It's a great tale and the film is perfectly cast, with possibly the exception of Jack Torrance who is a smidge unconvincing as a young Jack Nicholson. Essoe, however, is fantastic as Wendy without feeling too much like an impersonation. Carl Lumbly also brings Hallorann back to the screen exceptionally.

McGregor gives his usual great performance and delivers Dan Torrance right from the pages of the book. Kyliegh Curran also gives a strong performance throughout giving Abra the right level of spunk and optimism.

Our villains are perfectly villainous. Rose the Hat is page perfect, and manages to be monstrous but also demonstrates her own misguided determination to maintain her 'family'. The True Knot are fabulously brought to life and perfectly cast. It's almost a shame we don't get to know them better but the screen time we get with them is fun, dark and twisted .

The recreation of the interior of the Overlook is lovingly done and stands extremely well as a side to side comparison with Kubrick's film. The ghosts also are great fun and recreated with a fan's eye. Some scenes in the exterior of the hotel are a little less shiny, but overall don't mar the film.

All in all, I found this film to be exactly what I would have asked for. I look forward to it being released with some behind the scenes or documentary footage.

[Image: Intrepid Pictures, et al]

Hani

I Trapped the Devil

"I Trapped the Devil" (2019, Josh Lobo, IFC Midnight, Scream Factory) is an indie suspense horror about a man who believes he has the devil trapped in his basement.

Steve (Scott Poythress) is a paranoid man living alone. When his brother, Matt (AJ Bowen) and sister-in-law Karen (Susan Burke), unexpectedly show up to spend Christmas with him, he announces that he has captured the devil and imprisoned him in his basement. His brother and sister-in-law become increasingly concerned by Steve's erratic behaviour and the fact that they can hear someone trapped in the eerily lit darkroom/basement.

A very slow burning film where very little happens until the finale. The pacing was too slow for me and I found the plot did not have enough to it to fill the full run time. The characters seemed to behave somewhat illogically, which could be explained for the main character, Steve, where we are supposed to be on the fence about his sanity, but all of the characters were distractedly odd.

It does enjoy some moments of dread and an overall grim feeling with some cheerfully poignant Christmas lights, but overall I found the film a bit tedious.

[Image: IFC Midnight, et al]

Hani

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

"Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid" (2004, Dwight H. Little, Columbia TriStar) is the disconnected sequel to Anaconda.

A group of scientific researchers journey to Borneo, Indonesia to hunt for the rare Blood Orchid which they believe has important medical properties which could extend human lives. They pay a guide to take them up river in their search, despite severe weather and flood warnings. And snakes. Lots of man eating snakes.

An adventure horror sequel which plays out pretty much as you expect it to. B-movie script, B-movie action, CGI that looks a bit clunky, some back stabbing, an obvious twist and the star of the show; Captain Bill's monkey friend.

A good bit of fun of notably lesser quality than the original film, and with more numerous, but less menacing, snakes.

[Image: Columbia Tri-Star]

Hani

In the Tall Grass

"In the Tall Grass" (2019, Vincenzo Natali, Copperheart Entertainment, Netflix) is based on Stephen King and Joe Hill's novella of the same name.

The pregnant Becky (Laysla De Oliveira) and her brother, Cal (Avery Whitted), hear a child's call for help coming from a large field of very tall grass while stopped at the side of the road. Concerned for the child, they enter the grass and get lost themselves and separated. During their time in the grass they meet young Tobin (Will Buie Jr.), his father, Ross (Patrick Wilson) and mother, Natalie (Rachel Wilson). It becomes apparent that not everything is as it seems in the grass and eventually Travis (Harrison Gilbertson), Becky's ex, will come in search of the pair. A twisty tale with time loops, ancient magic, mystery, madness and murder.

The story itself is pretty interesting and the time looping elements flesh out the overall plot. Will Buie Jr.in particular gives a great performance as the various versions of Tobin. There's also a fair amount of gore, which I hadn't anticipated.

However, the film suffers from a drudging pace, and although the grass is certainly menacing, I found it a long 90 minutes.

[Image: Netflix]

Hani

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

"Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" (2019, André Øvredal, Lionsgate, Entertainment One, CBS Films, Sean Daniel Company) is a film based on the series of short stories by Austin Schwartz.

A horror anthology aimed at teens (think "Creepshow" meets "Goosebumps"), the film is surprisingly jumpy and really well put together. We follow Stella (Zoe Margaret Colletti), Auggie (Gabriel Rush), Chuck (Austin Zajur) and Ramon (Michael Garza) who find the book of scary stories by Sarah Bellows, the town's local horror legend, on Halloween night. The stories not only have a horrible way of becoming reality, however, the group discover new stories are still being written from beyond the grave and people they know, including themselves, are the unlucky protagonists... Can they put a stop to Sarah before it's too late?

Although very heavy on CGI which may not age very well in the long run, the film has a neat wraparound story and enjoys a seasonal Halloween theme which could make it a fun addition to annual viewing.

The stories are well adapted for screen from the original tales and even those of us too old to enjoy the childhood nostalgia of the stories themselves, the film still captures the feel of the tales and makes an entertaining 120 minutes.

Our protagonists and even antagonist bully, Tommy (Austin Abrams), feel well rounded and give a good performance in their roles. The late 60s setting of the film seems somewhat incidental, but not the the film's overall detriment. In the main, the adult characters are kept to the periphery and leave the main work to the kids.

I was pleasantly surprised at how good the scares were. The film doesn't seem to shy away from being quite dark and it's certainly a film young me would have loved. For the adult viewer it will feel relatively trope-laden but it's a perfect film for younger horror-hounds in the making who want to see something scary but aren't quite ready for some of the more adult targeted films. It's a good gateway film and could have the staying power for longevity in the future.

[Image: Lionsgate, et al]

Hani

3 From Hell

"3 From Hell" (2019, Rob Zombie, Lionsgate, Saban Films, Spookshow International Films) is the second sequel to Zombie's "House of 1000 Corpses" (2003) and follows the 2005 sequel "The Devil's Rejects".

Following on from the events of Rejects, we learn that our three antagonists, Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig), Baby Firefly (Sheri Moon Zombie) and Otis Firefly (Bill Moseley) have survived the police shootout and are now being tried for their crimes. But Otis manages a breakout, with the help of his half-brother, Foxy (Richard Brake), and attempts to spring Baby so that they can continue their murderous ways...

I am quite fond of "House of 1000 Corpses". "The Devil's Rejects" took the characters in a slightly different direction, tried to make them more real and had a different style, and although I prefer the first film, it seemed like a fitting end to the villainous Firefly family. Especially that surprisingly elegant final scene. The concept of a third film seemed therefore a little odd, especially considering that it would undo the finality of its predecessor. Although  I went in as open minded as I could be, I'm afraid for me this film did not hit the mark.

The overall feel of the film is similar in tone to Rejects with a grimy 70's aesthetic. The scenes with Baby in prison are interesting and lean heavily into the exploitation grindhouse film feel which I liked. However, the scenes felt overly long and in jumping from style to style the film feels a little rudderless with the expected hostage situation playing out like they're already bored. The banter between our murderous maniacs feels a bit tiresome and less fluid than it did in the previous films.

Baby's high-pitched maniacal flower-child act feels more wearing this time around without having so many other familiar characters for her to bounce off of. There's a few scenes where it's hinted at something sadder and more poignant but overall she feels more two dimensional than she could have been. Otis is still giving his speeches, showing no mercy and seems mostly unchanged, and for the short scene with Sid Haig we get a good level of nostalgia for Spaulding and it's easily one of the best scenes in the film.

Foxy can't help but feel tacked on as a character, and I wonder why they couldn't just rename the film. It's not Brake's doing and he does give a few needed elements of humour to punctuate between Baby's mania and Otis' self-righteousness, but the character can't help but feel a little jarring and out of the loop.

Overall, I found the film to be a little boring and felt it lunged from one scene to another in a disjointed manner. It relies a little too much on nostalgia but didn't, at least for me, feel like it was aimed at fans of the original two films and was a less fitting ending than the Firefly's deserved. A strange ride, but unlikely to be one I'd go on again.

[Image: Lionsgate]

Hani

Hell Fest

"Hell Fest" (2018, Gregory Plotkin, Tucker Tooley Entertainment, Valhalla Motion Pictures, CBS Films, Lionsgate) is a slasher film set at a Halloween theme park.

A group of teen friends visit the Hell Fest themepark together, enjoying their VIP passes. However, they soon notice that they are being followed by The Other, a masked man. Is it just another of the park's entertainment or have they attracted the attention of a serial killer?

While the film is serviceable, it is largely trope-ridden. The scares don't always successfully land and you don't get to know any of the characters well enough to make them much more than slasher fodder. The killer himself is also fairly forgettable and lacks any interesting quirks or characteristics that would let him in with any chance of joining the slasher villains' rogue gallery. It is nice, however, to see a film not just falling into the 'the park staff are in on it' story.

The festival itself looks fun and is a great scene for this type of story. The set design and range of horror themes threaded through the theme park are really well done and make the film worth seeing for that element alone.

All in all, it's not very original but is worth checking out if you're a slasher fan looking for something new to watch.

[Image: Tucker Tooley Entertainment, et al]

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Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

"Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers" (1988, Dwight H. Little, Trancas International) is the fourth instalment in the Halloween franchise and a direct sequel to Halloween 2.

Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur, Tom Morga & Erik Preston) wakes from a coma and discovers that his sister Laurie has been reported dead, but had a daughter called Jamie (Danielle Harris) who is living in Haddonfield with a foster family. He makes a murderous bee-line towards Haddonfield to find her, whilst being tailed by Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence).

The film is a pretty by-the-book slasher movie and pales, of course, in comparison to the original. Donald Pleasence, as ever, manages to deliver a dedicated performance, and Danielle Harris gives a strong performance as the young Jamie, however overall Michael is just slashing over familiar ground and it lacks the tension of its predecessors. Despite that, it remains an entertaining film and is still worth visiting for some old fashioned slasher movie nonsense.

[Image: Trancas International]

Hani

Office Uprising

"Office Uprising" (2018, Lin Oeding, Mind the Gap Productions, Rumble Riot Pictures) is a horror comedy set in the large office building.

Desmond (Brenton Thwaites) works at a weapon manufacturing company called Ammotech. He mostly likes getting stoned in the stationary cupboard, and this turns out to be a good decision because he manages to avoid trying out the company's new weaponised energy drink that they distribute to their employees. When the drink turns the majority of people in the building into raging psychopathic zombies intent on killing everyone in sight, Desmond, his crush Samantha (Jane Levy) and best pal, Mourad (Karad Soni), attempt to escape with their lives.

A cheesy, entertaining piece of slapstick horror which doesn't really ask its audience to think too hard. It doesn't necessarily bring anything new to the table, but the gore is good, the action is entertaining, the comedy is well timed and overall the film delivers exactly what you'd expect from the synopsis.

[Image: Mind the Gap Productions et al]

Hani

Final Destination 5

"Final Destination 5" (2011, Steven Quale, New Line Cinema, Practical Pictures, Zide/Perry Productions) is the fifth entry in the Final Destination franchise.

Sam (Nicholas D'Agosto) experiences a detailed vision while setting off with his colleagues on a bus trip. The vision shows the North Bay Bridge suddenly collapsing while they are on it, killing everyone except for his ex-girlfriend, Molly (Emma Bell). Sam manages to convince a few people to leave with him and they get to witness the bridge collapse from a safe distance. But, like always, death has designs on their lives and will stop at almost nothing to claim his due.

Much like its predecessors, the film's main point of interest is the complex Rube Goldberg Machine-esque deaths of each of the characters. The characters are rounded enough to make their deaths worth watching, but they remain mainly cannon fodder for death. Some of the effects suffer from feeling a little too computer generated, but there are certainly enough gruesome ideas to make you squirm. A short scene from the legendary Tony Todd is also always appreciated.

The action is entertaining enough to keep viewers engaged. It is one of the stronger entries in the franchise overall and feels fairly satisfying in where it decides to go throughout the plot.

[Image: New Line Cinema, et al]

Hani

I Married a Witch

"I Married a Witch" (1942, René Clair, Paramount Pictures) is a black and white comedy romance based on the unfinished novel titled "The Passionate Witch" by Thorne Smith which was later completed by Norman H. Matson .

The witch, Jennifer (Veronica Lake), curses the Wooley family in Puritan times after she and her father Daniel (Cecil Kellaway) are denounced as witches and sentenced to death by Jonathan Wooley (Fredrich March). The Wooley curse is to never find happiness in love, and this haunts the descendants of the Wooley clan up until 'present' day.

When Jennifer and Daniel's spirits are released by accident on the eve of Wallace Wooley's (also Fredric March) wedding to spoiled, gold digging bride, Estelle (Susan Hayward), Jennifer sees an opportunity to further punish the Wooley clan and attempts to woo Wallace and ruin not only his unhappy wedding, but also his run for Governor. But spells can be tricky things, and often go awry...

Veronica Lake is stunning, but the best thing about her is her comedic timing. Jennifer is a marvellous character and we enjoy every devious minute that she's on screen. The film enjoys great pacing, fantastic effects, considering the time of production, and a delightful and well portrayed story.

If you're looking for some lighthearted Halloween entertainment, this could definitely be for you.

[Image: Paramount Pictures]

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Child's Play (2019)

"Child's Play" (2019, Lars Klevberg, Orion Pictures, KatzSmith Productions, BRON Creative) is a reboot of the original film with a different take on the story and character.

A disgruntled employee at the toy factory manufacturing the Buddi high-tech smart doll does a bit of reprogramming to remove the learning limiters and safety nets on the chip of the doll he's working on. The doll winds up in Chicago where single mum Karen (Aubrey Plaza) brings him home for her son, Andy (Gabriel Bateman), as a birthday present. As Karen and Andy have recently moved in, Andy is looking to meet kids his own age, and despite thinking the doll (Mark Hamill), who christens itself Chucky, is childish, he and it bond and eventually he meets some other kids in the building.

The doll learns from the world around it, however, but without the safety software in place Chucky begins to display some disturbing behaviour including murdering the family cat after it scratches Andy, and coming at the kids with a knife after seeing a serial killer movie on TV. Unfortunately, no one believes Andy's warnings and Chucky steps up his game dramatically before the adults begin to take note.

I'm a big fan of the original franchise, specifically the original film and, of course, "Bride..." and "Seed of Chucky" which are extremely good fun. Its difficult to separate this film from that franchise, but if you're able to the film itself is a fun ride, if not exactly flawless.

I felt Hamill's voice was underutilised and could have definitely been used more. The doll is pretty sympathetic, too. It's not evil, it's just doing what it's programmed to do from what it's been exposed to. Sure it does some vile stuff, but unlike the Charles Lee Ray we know from old, this Chucky is more of a chaotic character than a bad guy. The likelihood of a factory programming individual dolls is also pretty... sketchy. But I guess it has to glitch somehow.

The plot is more "Small Soldiers" than Chucky, but as a standalone film it was entertaining. The tone is a little odd; it doesn't seem to know what audience it's aiming for. The gore is pretty good and the acting is strong. The kids specifically give a great performance, and overall, I think if it had been its own thing, and not a reboot of a well-loved series, it would have likely been better received.

[Image: Orion Pictures]

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Ready or Not

"Ready or Not" (2019, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, Fox Searchlight Pictures, Mythology Entertainment, Vinson Films, Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures) is a dark comedy horror about marrying into families with weird traditions.


Grace (Samara Weaving) has only known Alex Le Domas (Mark O'Brien) for 18 months, but she knows he's the one and they're getting married. Alex is from a rich family famous for their boardgame empire, but Grace does not love him for his money and is worried that his family dislikes her. Grace is an orphan, so the family's perception is important to her. Alex is really nervous about the whole thing, which Grace attributes to wedding nerves. The wedding is held at the family's large stately home and seems like a classy, but snooty affair. That night, however, instead of having an ordinary wedding night or drunkenly falling into a bridal suite, the couple are taken into a secret family room where it transpires that the Le Domas' have a quaint family tradition of letting a spooky box belonging to their long dead family benefactor, Mr. Le Bail, choose a game for the new family member to play. Grace takes a card from the box reading "Hide and Seek" and with that, is told to hide whilst the family members arm themselves with antiquated weaponry and begin to hunt the poor unsuspecting bride down or else face the deadly wrath of Mr. Le Bail.


A fun film which balances comedy and gore in good measure and offers a good selection of entertaining and over-the-top characters to enjoy amongst the carnage. It has the right pitch between the humour and the gore and the on-edge dread we feel whilst in hiding with Grace. There are also a few very well timed twists and turns and overall I enjoyed second guessing where we were going in the end.


The acting is solid in all cases, but Samara Weaving particularly creates a strong and sympathetic protagonist in Grace. She's likeable, relatable and swears like a sailor. The end result is very engaging and, at the end of the day, all the characters have a pretty good reason for doing everything they do... except for perhaps Alex, who could have possibly thought this through a little more in the long run.


Definitely a crowd pleaser, by the audience reaction around us last night and certainly a film with a rewatchability factor. I would certainly put it on my shelf along with the likes of "Tucker and Dale vs Evil" for a fun, Friday film.

[Image: Fox Searchlight Pictures, et al]

Hani

Haunt

"Haunt" (2019, Scott Beck, Bryan Woods, Broken Road Productions, Nickel City Pictures, Sierra/Afinity) is a film about an extreme Halloween haunted house attraction.


Are extreme Haunts a real thing? Regardless, this story follows a group of students who go searching for a way to keep the party going after the clubs close on Halloween night and venture into an extreme Haunt they find on a secluded road. But the convincing scares they witness at the start of their tour might be more than clever tricks and they soon realise that they themselves may be the next part of the attraction.


It's a premise that's been done before in films such as 2014's "The Houses October Built" , however, I'd hasten to add that filmmakers Beck and Woods, who are better known perhaps for "A Quiet Place", have selected a different style of storytelling and steered clear of the found footage style, which differentiates this work from others of its kind. The action is pretty good and the gore is very well realised. The pacing of the film is also fairly sturdy with very few long pauses between action.


My main and only gripe with the film, really, is that the characters are so unlikeable that I didn't feel like I was rooting for anyone in particular. Even protagonist, Harper (Katie Stevens), is not as sympathetic as she could have been. This isn't a comment on the acting, however, and is admittedly not uncommon in slasher movies, where most of the cast are really just fodder anyway. In that respect, the film delivers a good bounty of kills and gore as well as not delving too far into trying to explain the reasons behind the murder and mayhem. Certainly worth checking out this spooky season on Shudder.

[Image: Broken Road Productions, et al]

Hani

Would You Rather

"Would You Rather" (2012, David Guy Levy, Lambrick Foundation, LLC, Periscope Entertainment, Social Construct Films, Dreamher Productions, IFC Films) is a film about how far a group of desperate people can be pushed if they think it will end all of their problems.


Iris (Brittany Snow) looks after her sick younger brother (Logan Miller) but cannot pay for his expensive treatment. Her brother's doctor introduces her to a philanthropist called Shepard Lambrick (Jeffrey Combs) who offers to make Iris a deal; if she wins a game at his dinner party, he will pay for the treatment. After thinking about it, Iris agrees to attend the party.


Once at the party which takes place at Lambrick's manor home, Iris is introduced to the other guests; Lambrick's petulant son, Julian (Robin Lord Taylor), and fellow contestants; Travis (Charlie Hofheimer), Lucas (Enver Gjokaj), Linda (June Squibb), Peter (Robb Wells), Cal (Eddie Steeples), Amy (Sasha Grey) and Conway (John Heard). Before the game officially begins, Lambrick begins offering large sums of money to his guests to perform simple tasks that make them uncomfortable; a vegetarian eating a steak, a recovering alcoholic drinking scotch... Although the guests are outraged, the thought of all that money makes them stay and they decline to leave before the lockdown and the official game begins. Assuredly, the real game has higher prizes and even higher stakes...


I was pleasantly surprised by this film after I eventually gave in to Netflix's incessant advertising of it to me by seemingly adding it into every possible category on my homepage. It's silly, fun, fairly ridiculous, contains several familiar cast members including, of course, the wonderful Jeffrey Combs; a man who can chew scenery in the most entertaining way, and it actually boasts a fair few grim scenes.
The parlour game is equal parts cheesiness and darkness with just enough tongue-in-cheek dialogue to keep it from being bleak. While it's hardly a classic by any means and suffers from some pacing issues, I found it to be entertaining and not to spend too much time pondering over whether its core message or taking itself too seriously.

[Image: IFC Films, et al]

Hani

IT: Chapter Two

"IT: Chapter Two" (2019, Andy Muschietti, New Line Cinema, Double Dream, Vertigo Entertainment, Rideback, Warner Bros. Pictures) is the sequel to 2017's "IT" based on Stephen King's classic, "IT".


It's 2016 and we return to Derry, Maine to witness the violent and upsetting end of a man called Adrian in front of his boyfriend, Don. Adrian's death, however, does piqué the interest of our friend, and long time Derry man, Mike Hanlon (Isaiah Mustafa) who has been diligently (read 'obsessively') scanning the newspapers and airwaves for any sign that Pennywise has returned to feast on the people of the town once more.


Mike contacts the members of the Loser's Club one by one and finds that they have all but forgotten him due to the creature's defences. Reluctantly, they mostly agree to return to the town, but they're a little fuzzy on why...


Losers Club leader, Bill (James McAvoy), has become a successful writer and is working on a film based on one of his books. Richie (Bill Hader) is a successful comedian. Beverly (Jessica Chastain) has swapped her relationship with her abusive father for an abusive, but wealthy, husband. Eddie (James Ransone) has put his hypochondria to good use and become a successful risk assessor. Stanley (Andy Bean) is happily married and working as an accountant. And Ben (Jay Ryan) has buffed up and become a successful architect.


The gang head back to Derry, minus one, and as, their memories start to return, so do their fears. The creature begins almost instantly to launch an attack on the, now adult, Losers Club as well as getting their old childhood bully, Henry Bowers (Teach Grant) back in town to further hamper the Club's attempts to put a stop to It once and for all.


I enjoyed the first instalment, but feel that the second chapter flowed better as a film and had slightly better pacing than its predecessor. The younger casting had been so strong that I had been apprehensive as to how the adult casting would compare, but I felt that they were extremely well matched and I had no issues believing them to be the adult versions of the younger actors. Bill Hader particularly, steals the show somewhat with an emotional portrayal of motor-mouth Richie. The Losers are all broken as adults, and we feel for them all.


Bill Skarsgård gives just as excellent performance as Pennywise the Dancing Clown as he did in the first film. Although the film relies perhaps a little too heavily on CGI to achieve all the effects, which makes sense when you have a shapeshifting, human eating monster on the loose, the most effective part of the monster is Skarsgård's disturbing and engaging performance. There is a scene with the clown make up mostly removed which further solidifies how effective his performance is.


The film is punctuated with humour, much like its predecessor, and then plummets to some serious lows (I won't deny feeling a little tearful near the end) but overall sticks to the Losers conquering evil themes of the novel. We also enjoy one of Stephen King's cameos as a pawnshop owner who sells Bill back his old bike.


Although three hours is a long run time, if you enjoyed the first film, you are unlikely to be disappointed by the follow up. But equally, if you disliked the previous instalment it's unlikely that this film will swing you in another direction.

[Image: Warner Bros. Pictures, et al]

Hani

Annabelle Comes Home

"Annabelle Comes Home" (2019, Gary Dauberman, New Line Cinema, Atomic Monster Productions, The Safran Company, Warner Bros. Pictures) is the seventh film in The Conjuring Universe created by James Wan and is the third feature film centred around the haunted doll, Annabelle, whom we were introduced to in the original The Conjuring and who is based on an actual case by the real life Ed and Lorraine Warren.

Starting from the doll being taken from the young nurses in the first Conjuring film, we follow her home to Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) Warren's locked room full of other haunted artefacts. Some time later, the Warren's daughter, Judy (McKenna Grace), is being babysat by family friend, Mary Ellen (Madison Iseman) and her friend, Daniela (Katie Sarife). Unfortunately, it turns out that Daniela had other, more personal reasons for tagging along and she breaks into the artefact room searching for a way to contact the spirit of her father. Unwittingly touching everything and anything she can lay her hands on, Daniela also releases Annabelle from her blessed case allowing the doll to wreak havoc on herself, Judy, Mary Ellen and Mary Ellen's admirer, Bob (Michael Cimino) who had come to the house to serenade Mary Ellen in a badly timed attempt at seduction.

A really fun entry into a series that I feel was getting pretty tired. The very limited setting of the Warren's house makes for a good old fashioned spook house feel and the scare scenes are, in usual Wan style, well portrayed and effective. The fact that Annabelle is given the power to raise other spirits nearby makes the variety of ghosts attacking the teens and kid pretty diverse. Personally, I enjoyed the first Conjuring but felt a little cold on the subsequent films, but I found this film to be a fun ride and the first, since the original film, to spark some life back into the creepy little doll despite the doll herself getting very limited screen time. It's jumpy and a little silly - just what I wanted out a spooky doll film.

[Image: New Line Cinema, et al]

Hani

Rosemary's Baby

"Rosemary's Baby" (1968, Roman Polanski, Paramount Pictures) is a supernatural, psychological thriller about a woman who grows concerned that a cult has laid a claim on her unborn child.

I saw this film as a kid (my mum was always pretty cool about sharing her love of horror with me) and two things always stuck with me; that I really liked Mia Farrow's short hair and that making friends with neighbours can be a burden. Yep. Those were my big takeaways from this famous, award-winning Polanski film aged 10.

Guy (John Cassavetes) and Rosemary (Mia Farrow) Woodhouse find a spacious New York City apartment which has recently become available after the elderly tenant passed away. They move in and make it their own, much to the disappointment of their friend, Hutch (Maurice Evans), who has heard tales of murder and dark happenings in the building.

Rosemary makes friends with another young woman living with an elderly couple in the building but is shocked when she appears to have committed suicide soon after. The elderly couple, Minnie (Ruth Gordon) and Roman (Sidney Blackmer) Castevet soon become friends with the Woodhouses after the tragedy. Rosemary is initially keen to be friends but soon finds the Castevet's constant presence in their lives strange. Guy, on the other hand, seems to go from unwilling politeness to a full-on friendship with the couple. He also sees a sudden upturn in good fortune, landing a dream job.

Soon Rosemary and Guy discover that they are having a baby and they are elated. The Castevet's become very involved in the couple's lives and are extremely interested in the pregnancy. Rosemary begins to look very ill and suddenly crave raw meat which causes Hutch to go digging but before he can share his findings with her, he is struck seriously ill.

As her due date approaches, Rosemary becomes more and more convinced that something is wrong. Guy and the Castevets try to convince her that she is getting upset over nothing, but she comes across a message from Hutch which further confirms her worst fears and things spiral into madness from there on...

A truly great film that is both an excellent monument to its era and fashions and a commentary on paranoia and the dismissive way that people can be treated. Whilst slow-burning and fairly low on any gore, the film relies more on a sense of dread which builds around the couple's apparently happy home and lives. Mia Farrow rules the screen as the distraught and waif-like Rosemary. The audience truly feels for her plight which builds slowly before being dialled up to eleven at the film's climax. The film enjoys a fairly twisted ending with Rosemary caught with a very difficult decision. Dark and oddly charming this is definitely a classic worthy of adding to any movie lovers' list.

[Image: Paramount Pictures]

Hani

Critters Attack!

"Critters Attack!" (2019, Bobby Miller, New Line Cinema, Warner Bros. Television) is the fifth film in the Critters horror comedy franchise.

We follow the story of Drea (Tashiana Washington) who reluctantly agrees to babysit the kids of a college professor, hoping that this might increase her chances of being accepted to the school. She, her little brother, Philip (Jaeden Noel), Trissy (Ava Preston) and Jake (Jack Fulton) come across an injured white female Krite in the forest and unwittingly take it with them which makes them a target for the other, more violent Krites who chase after them, killing and eating everyone and everything in their path...

It was fun to see the Krites back to their usual menacing and humorous antics and to see Dee Wallace back to battle them after the first film. However, the film didn't quite hold up along with the rest of the series in my view. The kids all deliver good performances with Washington as a good leading lady, but the characters themselves are fairly unlikeable and a bit bland. Characters in Critters films are pretty much just critter-fodder anyway, but it seemed like a missed opportunity considering how much time we spend with the four main characters in the film. They felt like characters written by someone who dislikes children and young adults. Aside from Dee Wallace, there are little to no other ties to the other four films. The film also meanders a lot and seems to run out of steam before its eventual conclusion.

But it is still worth your time, especially if you are a fan of its predecessors. The effects are fun, practical and suitably gory with the familiar glowing red eyes and ridiculous rolling balls of teeth hitting all the right chords. In terms of the creatures themselves and the action delivered, this entry feels very much like a film made for the fans and offers a nice amount of nostalgia.

[Image: Warner Bros. Television]

Hani

Haunter

"Haunter" (2013, Vincenzo Natali, Wild Bunch, IFC Midnight) is a haunted house story with a slant.


Lisa (Abigail Breslin) is a teenager in 1985. She's also dead. Lisa 'lives' in her house with her mum (Michelle Nolden), dad (Peter Outerbridge) and little brother, Robbie (Peter DaCunha) who appear unaware that they are also dead. Lisa's stuck in a Groundhog Day-esque timeloop of the same day; the car is always broken, the laundry is always needing done, dinner is always the same...


When Lisa becomes aware of her predicament, she tries to highlight it to her family but they seem to be oblivious to their situation. Lonely and angry, Lisa begins to try to find out what is going on. She starts to find clues and discovers that she is the ghost haunting the teenager, Olivia (Eleanor Zichy) now living in her room in 2013. To add to this, there may be a sordid history in the house and many other ghosts trapped there... Can Lisa stop it before Olivia's family are doomed to be next?!


A fun little film with a good performance from all of the cast, but especially from Breslin who is a sympathetic protagonist but also a strong character. She manages to walk the line of moody teenager and girl-in-peril without coming across as whiny or overbearing.


While the plot is fairly straightforward and the antagonist suffers from some confusing scenes throughout; the overall film is entertaining and creates an engaging atmosphere. The repetitive nature of the timeloop is something that has been done extremely well before (the previously mentioned Groundhog Day) and since (Happy Death Day). "Haunter" manages this timeloop fairly well also, with slight tweaks in the loop to show progression and just enough repetition to highlight what's going on. It also captures some elements reminiscent of the Amityville House.


"Haunter" nicely tells the tale from the ghost's perspective without getting too caught up in the ghost mythos, and delivers an intriguing little mystery. It's fairly light on the scares, however.

[Image: IFC Midnight, et al]

Hani

Jacob's Ladder

"Jacob's Ladder" (1990, Adrian Lyne, Carolco Pictures, TriStar Pictures) is a psychological horror.

Jacob Singer (Tim Robbins) is a Vietnam war veteran living in New York with his girlfriend Jezzie (Elizabeth Peña) and working as a postal worker. We see glimpses of his experience during the war where his unit came suddenly under attack but also started acting very strangely with some going into violent seizures and others turning on one another.

Jacob is haunted not only by his past as a soldier, but also by his past as a happy husband and father of young children, especially his youngest, Gabe (Macaulay Culkin), who had died before the war.

Everywhere Jacob goes he sees strange apparitions of faceless men and monstrous creatures and he begins to lose time. He attempts to find help from his former platoon mates, but everywhere he turns people seem to be plotting against him or being plotted against themselves... What is going on?

A feverish film filled with intrigue and deeper messages. Jacob's journey is fractured, as are his memories and the audience follow him along this strange tale trying to fathom out the real from the hallucinations. By the end we learn the truth and the journey makes sense in a satisfying but melancholy way. A truly fantastic film filled with effective imagery and certainly one to have on your movie bucket list.

[Image: Carolco Pictures, et al]

Hani

Gothika

I decided to give this one another shot as part of my Robert Downey Jr. appreciation 'month' (this has so far lasted 3 months and looks not to be ending anytime soon. That man is a gift.). My first and last viewing of this film was at a house party in 2005 and I remember being pretty unimpressed at the time. But I was a cocky 17 year old, so lets see how it fares this time:




"Gothika" (2003, Mathieu Kassovitz, Dark Castle Entertainment, Warner Bros. Pictures, Columbia Pictures) is a film about a psychiatrist who wakes up to find herself a patient in the mental hospital she works at.


Dr. Miranda Grey (Halle Berry) works at Woodward Penitentiary as a Criminal Psychiatrist. She is working with several disturbed and violent women including Chloe Sava (Penélope Cruz). She's also the wife of Dr. Douglas Grey (Charles S. Dutton) who runs the facility, and has an apparent friendship-but-nothing-more relationship with her colleague Dr. Pete Graham (Robert Downey Jr.) - much to the latter's disappointment.


On a stormy night, Dr. Grey crashes her car on a bridge while narrowly missing hitting a young girl standing in the road. When the Dr. approaches the girl to check if she's ok she bursts into flames. Miranda doesn't remember anything else until she wakes up as a patient at Woodward herself and Pete breaks the news to her that she apparently went home and brutally murdered Douglas.


Miranda spends the rest of the film slowly piecing together her memory with the help of a vengeful spirit and some pretty inefficient security in the hospital. What she finds out shakes her worldview and it's probably for the best that she'd already dispatched of Douglas.


The film suffers from a lot of things that aren't its fault. The main one being it's just another early 2000s teen-aimed horror with that annoying blue tinged hue over every scene. But there remain some gaping plot holes (really? Pete just pulls some strings and she's kept at her previous place of work? I don't think so) and just too much going on in the plot. It's like they made a few storyboards and decided to mash it all together; crooked cops, crooked doctors, malpractice, ghosts, murder, torture porn, revenge, amnesia, sexual deviants getting access to patients without (supposedly) anyone knowing, misrepresented mental health patients.... you name it, it's in here. It's a bit of a mess plot-wise.


One of my main gripes with the film is its criminal(-ly insane) underuse of its talented cast. Halle Berry as the protagonist gets a fair share of screen time but most of her time is spent screaming and/or being sedated so her character isn't given much depth outside of her initial intro as overworked psychiatrist who likes to swim. As the film moves on she gets to deliver a more proactive role and starts to do her own sleuthing, but ghostly possession, or not, I doubt that she would be set free at the end of the film, having, you know, murdered a guy! RDJ manages to inject some depth into the character of Pete through that amazing ability he possesses to humanise all of his characters, but essentially Pete is just there to be a hindrance to Miranda's escape and doesn't actually get to do much of note from a plot perspective except moon over Miranda and then act as jailor. Cruz' character is probably the most interesting of the film with a pretty sad story arc but she's more of a plot device than a main character.


But it's not all bad. The film remains watchable, and although it doesn't fit into any good-bad-cheese list it's also not so terrible that you can't sit through it. Whether  you'd actually want to is another question entirely. I can imagine the trope-laden, well trodden ideas behind the film still seeming fresh to the young and uninitiated, and it could certainly serve as a gateway to youngish, thirsty horror fans in the making who haven't yet been enticed by the pleasures of 2001's "Thirteen Ghosts" or 1999's "House on Haunted Hill" which, in my view, deliver a much better late 90s/early 2000s horror vibe.


What can I say? I came for the RDJ factor... and I pretty much stayed around for that, too. It seems 17 year old me and 31 year old me aren't so different after all.

[Image: Warner Bros., et al]

Hani

The Endless

"The Endless" (2017, Justin Benson, Aaron Moorhead, Snowfort Pictures, Love & Death Productions, Pfaff & Pfaff Productions, Well Go USA Entertainment) is a sci-fi thriller about two brothers who escape from a cult only to be tempted back years later. It is the sequel to 2012's "Resolution".


Justin (Justin Benson) and Aaron (Aaron Moorhead) receive a video cassette in the post and, after hunting for a way to play the damn thing, discover that it is from Camp Arcadia; a commune they were part of as kids/young adults.


It turns out the boys have completely different recollections of the their time at the Camp with Justin remembering a dangerous UFO death cult and Aaron only remembering a friendly group of hippies getting back to nature. The brothers decide to venture back to the camp to see how everyone is doing. Just for one day.


They reach the camp to warm welcomes but something is not quite right about the campers; they look exactly the same as they had a decade earlier... As the boys spend more time with their old comrades they start to notice other peculiarities about the camp and the surrounding area... Something is there and leaving might not be an option...


A fun and intriguing film that kept me engaged throughout. It starts off relatively slowly and the plot slowly drip feeds a sense of dread and uneasiness through excellent use of slightly 'wrong' things happening on screen. As the wrongness intensifies we are introduced to other characters outside of the cult (some of whom you might recognise if you've seen "Resolution") who are experiencing some grim and unsettling effects of the 'presence' surrounding the camp.


A bizarre story that is told in an effective and sober manner which further adds to the overall strangeness of the tale. With a lot of Lovecraft inspiration felt throughout, a hint that the plot might be a commentary about audiences as a whole, and rounded but not overdone characters; The Endless is a very enjoyable, thoughtful and robust piece of film. A somewhat sudden and ambiguous end leaves the viewer wondering if there's still more to come in a third film.

[Image: Snowfort Pictures, et al]

Hani

The Perfection

I seemed to be in the mood for watching films about cellists this weekend as I checked out "The Perfection" on the back of watching 2009's "The Soloist". I can confirm that this was completely incidental and both film's could not be further from one another in plot and genre. But it did make for good viewing. Since this is a more horror/thrilller aimed blog, however, I guess we should focus on "The Perfection"...

"The Perfection" (2019, Richard Shepard, Miramax, Capstone Film Group, Netflix) is a horror about the dangers of aiming for perfection at all costs based around a prestigious music school.

Charlotte (Allison Williams) is a talented cellist who was forced to give up on her dreams of becoming the protege of her teacher and head of the Bachoff music school, Anton (Steven Weber), when her mother became terminally ill and she was needed to care for her. Upon the death of her mother some years later, Charlotte reaches back out to Anton and is invited to be a guest judge on a panel judging some promising young cellists in China hoping to win entry to the Academy along with Anton's current protege, and Charlotte's replacement, Lizzie (Logan Browning). Although reluctant at first, Charlotte and Lizzie strike up a friendship (and then some) and decide to spend a couple of weeks together off the beaten path in China. Things do not go to plan... or do they?

An engaging film that kept my attention throughout the full run time due not only to good story telling and excellent acting, but also some nicely spaced out and visually pleasing gore.

I was not sure what I was in for in this film and went in essentially blind, having only heard that it was "up my street". I can confirm that I found it to be an extremely entertaining 90 minutes with a few plot twists that kept the pacing lively and some really gruesome effects. The first twist caught me completely off-guard and really grabbed my attention.

I enjoyed the way the film managed to get me to flip-flop between loving and loathing different characters as each piece of the puzzle was unveiled and both Williams and Browning give great performances throughout.

Fairly gripping and delivering more than I went in expecting, this one is certainly worth your time.

[Image: Netflix et al]

Hani

Monkey Shines

"Monkey Shines" aka "Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear" (1988, George A. Romero, Orion Pictures) is a film about a killer Capuchin monkey and one man's life changing.


Allan (Jason Beghe) is an active man with a seemingly idyllic lifestyle. Alas, things change for Allan when he is involved in an accident, rendering him quadriplegic. With his life forever altered, his girlfriend leaving him for his Neurosurgeon, John Wiseman (Stanley Tucci), and his meddling mother (Joyce Van Patten) and rough nurse (Christine Forrest) on the scene controlling his every move, Allan is beginning to feel that death would be a simpler solution.


In a morally questionable attempt to help out his buddy and also protect his human brain tissue/monkey injection research from his sneaky boss, Geoffrey (John Pankow), a scientist friend of Allan's, decides to have his best monkey specimen, Six (Boo) trained by Melanie (Kate McNeill); a specialist in quadriplegia and a trainer of helper monkeys for the disabled. Melanie renames Six Ella and trains her up.


Soon Allan is finding a new lease on life again with both his helpful little monkey pal and with Melanie. Unbeknownst to them both, however, Geoffrey is still injecting Ella with his serum in an attempt to increase her intellect to human levels. As time progresses and Allan's bond with Ella increases, it becomes apparent that things are getting creepy. Especially when things and people that upset Allan suddenly wind up dead at very small, somewhat hairy hands...


A fun but clunky piece that does not feel like any other Romero movie. However, being his first studio film, this may be the main reason why and the odd outcome seemed to disenchant Romero with studio films completely as he soon returned to independent films which gave him more creative freedom. The monkey is adorable, there's one or two jumps and the film approaches themes of romance with a disabled character with a fair amount of class and a fairly x-rated scene. Overall it is a  fairly enjoyable film, however, it suffers from pacing, a lot of studio changes that make it feel unstructured and a decidedly odd feeling ending.

[Image: Orion Pictures]

Hani



Pet Sematary

"Pet Sematary" (2019, Kevin Kölsch, Dennis Widmyer, Di Bonaventura Pictures, Paramount Pictures) is the second film adaptation of Stephen King's haunting novel of the same name. My thoughts on the 1989 film can be found here.

Dr. Louis Creed (Jason Clarke) moves from Boston to the small town of Ludlow, Maine with his wife, Rachel (Amy Seimetz), young daughter, Ellie (Jeté Laurence) and toddler son, Gage (Hugo and Lucas Lavoie). The point was to get away from their hectic and busy lives in the city, but after a student called Victor Pascow (Obssa Ahmed) is killed in a traumatic accident things begin to get strange for the Creed family. The deceptively quiet country road right by their house turns out to be treacherously busy with fast moving, large trucks and their elderly neighbour Jud Crandall (John Lithgow) knows one or two local secrets more than he should maybe share. Including, the mystery of the pet cemetery in the woods and... what lies beyond...

An interesting retelling that stays true to the spirit of the novel whilst making some key changes. I don't dislike the changes and found them to add a new dimension to the plot. As a big fan of the novel and the 1989 film, I hadn't really known how I would feel about this version, but I found it enjoyable overall.

The film offers a few jumps and jolts throughout and I found the development and reveal of the scenes with Rachel's sister Zelda to be a well realised. The local childrens' tradition of burying their pets in the 'sematary' in creepy masks had a nice Wickerman feel to it which I felt complimented the plot overall.

Clarke and Seimetz give good performances as the Creeds, however, it's hard to contend with Lithgow's Jud who really steals the show. Even as a die hard fan of Fred Gwynne's famous take on the character, I really enjoyed Lithgow's performance. His regret was palpable by the end of the film. Jeté Laurence really shows her stuff as sweet little Ellie... and then some! And Obssa Ahmed gives a nicely creepy, and somewhat less sarcastic, performance as Pascow. The makeup for Pascow is also very juicy... mmm, exposed brain.

The effects are overall very good and the film enjoys some good pacing. The strangest thing for me was the cemetery and burial grounds themselves which felt very much like a movie set and didn't show the depth and realism I was anticipating.

Louis' spiral in his despair and his desperation to get his family back is, as ever, sad and extremely dark. Overall, I felt the changes in the plot in this respect were a refreshing option and allowed us to experience a more talkative and grim analysis of human beings' inability to accept death. Church (Leo, Tonic, Jager and JD) was also extremely well realised.

For me the ending was even more haunting than both the novel and the initial '89 film and worked very well.

Overall, it hasn't dislodged the 1989 film from its pedestal for me, but it was entertaining and dark. While some of the changes didn't quite hit home, and some of the scenes felt like they had not been taken to their full promise, the overall film was an interesting take on the novel and an entertaining retelling.

[Image: Paramount Pictures]

Hani

Us

"Us" (2019, Jordan Peele, Monkeypaw Productions, Universal Pictures) is a horror film about a family who are confronted by violent doppelgangers.

We meet Adelaide (Madison Curry) as a child with her parents at the pier attractions. While her parents are distracted, she wanders off and finds her way to a hall of mirrors. Whilst inside she sees something terrifying...

Adelaide (Lupita Nyong'o) is now all grown up. She, her husband, Gabe (Winston Duke) and their two kids, Zora (Shahadi Wright Joseph) and Jason (Evan Alex), are enjoying a holiday at her family's cabin. After a day at the beach with their friends, the Tylers, Adelaide appears out of sorts and tells Gabe about the encounter she had in the hall of mirrors. Gabe, naturally does not believe her, but soon they notice a family standing threateningly outside the cabin. A family that looks disturbingly familiar...

An unsettling and thoughtful film that also delivers a fair amount of violence, gore and action. The moments of comedy are well timed, amusing and compliment the more tense points of the film. I enjoyed that the film felt almost nostalgic in its story telling, styling and scoring but was set in present day.

The characters are well rounded and relatable which makes it all the more effective when we meet their doppelgangers who are similar yet animalistic and antithetical in nature. There isn't a bad thing to say about any of the cast's performances, but Nyong'o's emotional performance steals the show both as Adelaide and her counterpart.

The film makes a point of not answering all the questions raised leaving a couple more holes than was perhaps necessary but delivers enough turns in the plot to leave you pondering over it in the wake of viewing. An amusing piece that says a thing or two about human nature and what defines a villain.

[Image: Monkeypaw Productions, Universal Pictures]

Hani

Lords of Chaos

"Lords of Chaos" (2018, Jonas Åkerlund, Insurgent Media, Scott Free Films, RSA Films, Eleven Arts, Vice Films, 20th Century Fox, Arrow Films) is the semi-fictionalised telling of the infamous events around the Norwegian Black Metal band, Mayhem.


The story is told from the perspective of band founder and central member, Øystein "Euronymous" Aarseth (Rory Culkin) from his creation of the band to his murder in 1993. Throughout the film we are introduced to Øystein's feelings and philosophies on Black Metal. He feels superior and in command and soon has a small clique of similarly minded fans and other bands. He begins his own black metal label and opens a record shop called "Helvete" where metallers can socialise, drink and hear Euronymous' sporadic dark sermons and venomous rhetoric as part of the "Black Circle".


After exploiting the death of Mayhem's troubled lead singer, Dead (Jack Kilmer), for some new and darker street cred, Euronymous hires new band members including Varg Vikernes (Emory Cohen), who had changed his name from Kristian after a previous embarrassing run in with the band. Varg seemed like someone Euronymous can exploit, but it becomes evident that Varg is committed to his extremist beliefs and happy to carry out the kind of dark deeds which Euronymous had only bragged about. As the chaos escalates Euronymous finds he's lost control.


A grim premise based on true events, but with a fair amount of artistic licence. As a viewer the film was entertaining, gory, shocking and exciting. The events unfold at a pace that keeps you watching and the characters are hypnotically flawed. The portrayal of both Øystein and Varg are truly captivating to watch as these two essentially weak characters with a disproportionate sense of grandeur clumsily circle and bait each other throughout the film during their power struggle. The shocking scenes of death and self-harm are very gritty and the effects work extremely well.


As a metal fan the film made more headway out of the contemptible actions of the characters than it did about how the band were fundamental in creating a now well-established sub-genre (though, thankfully not all bands take themselves quite as seriously as this line-up of Mayhem did) and the tone was a little hard to read in places, but I feel that this was never the intent of the film and the horror and thriller aspects really delivered for me. I was entertained.

[Image: Insurgent Media, et al]

Hani

You Might be the Killer

"You Might be the Killer" (2018, Brett Simmons, Chuck Wendig, Curmudgeon Films) is a horror comedy set at a Summer Camp in America.

Sam (Fran Kranz) is a camp counsellor who awakes from a blackout to find that there has been a massacre at the summer camp he works at. He can't remember much before the blackout, but while on the phone to his horror movie fan friend, Chuck (Alyson Hannigan) things begin to clear and he begins to question his role in the bloodshed.

A fun and extremely meta horror comedy which plays tropes from a range of genre favourites for laughs. Starting out as a viral Twitter conversation between authors, Chuck Wendig and Sam Sykes, the film is very playful, suitably gory and extremely tongue in cheek.

As a fan of both Kranz and Hannigan, I can't say I went into this film anything but keen and open minded, but I'm happy to report that the film was solid and irreverent enough that I know I would have enjoyed it anyway, even without those two filling the key roles. Kranz, however, continues to be able to get away with (on screen/in universe) murder while remaining a very sympathetic character.

Like most horror comedies, the main plot joke does lose some of its sting by the end of the run time. But its cheeky styling and ability to poke fun at the genre whilst remaining respectful of horror as a whole makes this a playful and entertaining watch.

Available to watch on Shudder.

[Image: Curmudgeon Films]

Hani

Society

"Society" (1989, Brian Yuzna, Wild Street Pictures) is a body horror film which was actually the directorial debut from Yuzna who brought us "Re-Animator" and "From Beyond" so... you know what you're in for.

Bill Whitney (Billy Warlock) is a teenager in Beverly Hills. He lives with his wealthy parents and sister, Jenny (Patrice Jennings). Despite his luxurious lifestyle, Bill feels alienated from his highfalutin family, and this is the main focus of his weekly meetings with his therapist, Dr. Cleveland (Ben Slack). Bill becomes obsessed with finding out what's going on when Jenny's ex-boyfriend, Blanchard (Tim Bartell), gives him a cassette tape which seems to implicate his family in a disturbing and murderous act. As Bill begins to delve deeper into the mystery of his family and the apparent elite cult that they are a part of, he begins to suspect that he may be more alone than he thought.... And that his enemies may have gruesome plans for him...

An entertaining and gooey horror comedy which builds to a fairly disturbing and equally funny climax. The effects (by Screaming Mad George (Joji Tani)) are surreal, perverse and delightfully gruesome and are, in all fairness, the true star of the film which is admittedly a little clunky in the plot department.

This is definitely a must-see for any body horror fan and will leave you chuckling and possibly also a little traumatised.

[Image: Wild Street Pictures]

Hani

Perfect Skin

**This review contains spoilers**

"Perfect Skin" (2018, Kevin Chicken, Perfect Skin Productions, KEW Media Group) is a psychological horror film about an obsessive tattoo artist who goes way too far in his attempts to create a masterpiece.

Katia (Natalia Kostrzewa) is a Polish woman who moves in with her Australian friend, Lucy (Jo Woodcock), in her London flat. While out partying Lucy introduces Katia to Bob (Richard Brake), an American tattoo artist who Lucy had received some tattoo work from in the past. Bob offers to design Katia her first tattoo, but he becomes obsessed with her as a perfect 'blank canvas' and kidnaps her in order to turn her into his personal masterpiece.

An extremely dark and sinister plot which is well executed and creates uncomfortable but intriguing viewing. As Katia wakes to discover more and more changes to her body she becomes both horrified at the transformation being done without her consent and also interested in spite of herself in what Bob has planned, as well as in his other dark interests.

A study in obsession, dominance and retaliation which manages not to vilify the sub-culture of body modification, despite the antagonist's misuse of it. The film straddles the void between exploitation movies and torture films becoming fairly difficult to fit into any one box. While certainly not pleasant viewing, the cast deliver a haunting performance that may leave you looking for the wire brush and dettol afterwards.

Currently available to rent from YouTube.

[Image: KEW Media Group, et al]

Hani

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers

"Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers" (1988, Michael A. Simpson, Double Helix Films) is the sequel to "Sleepaway Camp".

Angela (Pamela Springsteen) has supposedly reformed after her murder-spree at Camp Arawak 8 years prior and has opted to continue to identify as female. Having assumed a different surname, she has become one of the camp counsellors at Camp Rolling Hills. However, Angela is constantly disappointed in her campers and colleagues' behaviour... soon she's back to her old slasher ways!

Springsteen takes up the mantel of Angela from Felissa Rose from the original film. The young adult Angela is an enjoyable antagonist. She's funny, sneaky, a bit nerdy and violent. Plus she enjoys a good sing-a-long.

The sequel enjoys a lot more action than the original, and we are treated to some of Angela's witty slasher repartee and some homages to other slashers of the time. There's some fun gore and the film is certainly more of a comedy satirical horror than the original was, but is definitely bingeable as a double feature.

I feel Angela deserves more recognition as a slasher killer!

[Image: Double Helix Films]

Hani