Girl on the Third Floor

*Spoiler warning*

"Girl on the Third Floor" (2019, Travis Stevens, Queensbury Pictures) is a haunted house story.

Don (CM Punk) is attempting to renovate an old and dilapidated house for he, his wife, Liz (Trieste Kelly Dunn), and their impending new arrival. As Liz ties up their affairs in the city, Don takes their dog and moves in to the house with his tools and an endless supply of beer. But things in the house aren't quite... right. Strange substances and sweets keep appearing, Don constantly feels like he's being watched and a very flirty stranger called Sarah (Sarah Brooks) won't stay away. He's also receiving strange vibes from the local pastor, Sadie (Elissa Dowling) and seems to be extremely unpopular at the local watering hole/bowling alley.

When he's joined by his friend, Milo (Travis Delgado), things change up a gear and it becomes apparent that the house, or something within it, wants them all out. Or worse...

I'd heard good things about this film and went in open minded and keen for a good spookfest. I'd first say that the set up is overly long. The scenes are well shot, but there are a lot of scenes of Don doing various DIY-ing without anything spooky happening so when the spooky stuff comes along it felt a little long winded. On the other hand, we get a good feel for the kind of character Don is and his less than savoury past and nature. There are also several well done shots where the various old mirrors around the house reveal some creepy happenings which I found to be very effective.

Whenever I see a dog in a movie I know it's not going to be around for long, and spoiler or not, poor old puppy does not last the duration.

The reveal and finale were fun but felt like a completely different film to the first half and didn't meld particularly well. Overall, I enjoyed myself but the film is very slow burning and took its time getting any actual plot started.

[Image: Queensbury Pictures]

Hani

Mercy Christmas

"Mercy Christmas" (2017, Ryan Nelson, No Mercy Pictures, Other Paw Films) is a festive holiday cannibal film.

Santa brought me this film for Christmas this year. Thanks, Santa.

Michael Briskett (Steven Hubbell) receives an invite to Christmas dinner from the office cutie, Cindy (Casey O'Keefe), and thinks he's won a watch. But after arriving at her family home, he discovers that he might not like what's on the menu...

The DVD box is littered with positive reviews and comments about the gore level of the film. While the film is a purposefully cheesy, low budget piece and does not deliver quite the level of gore I was hoping for, it is pretty funny and hosts some performances which were far superior than I went in expecting as well as a few recognisable faces. The sense of humour keeps the film going despite the cat being out of the bag fairly early in the plot, but the 83 minute run time also does not outstay its welcome.

Our family of religious, social climbing cannibals are both caricaturistic and delightfully reprehensible and, once the chaos ensues, we are treated to some funny fight scenes and physical humour with a definite festive slant. I never knew that fairy lights could be so practical. Our small band of victims/heroes aren't developed very much given the run time but definitely keep the audience on side and deliver a few good comedy moments also.

While it's nothing groundbreaking, "Mercy Christmas" provides that lighthearted black humour someone like me tends to enjoy around this time of year and will most likely enter my annual viewing rotation.

[Image: Other Paw Productions, et al]

Hani