The Mortuary Collection

"The Mortuary Collection" (2019, Ryan Spindell, Trapdoor Pictures, AMP International, Shudder) is a horror anthology film.

We are welcomed to The Raven's End Mortuary by creepy mortician and keeper of many stories, Montgomery Dark (Clancy Brown), who recounts a few of his tales to us and his new prospective apprentice, Sam (Caitlin Custer). 

A very fun collection of tales which fit nicely into the wraparound story and provide the right level of humour, familiarity and freshness to make this anthology a must-see. 

Each short links well to the wraparound, and the wraparound itself if an intriguing tale of its own.

Brown delivers Montgomery Dark with a relish that is utterly captivating and Custer provides not only some wit and cynicism but also a few surprises of her own.

The effects are on the whole excellent and enjoy an 80s style appeal without trying too hard to be too nostalgia driven. 

I don't want to go into too many details about the shorts because they are great fun and deserve to be seen, but this film has a few humorous and gory gems to share as well as some emotional moments that are really effective.

Definitely worth checking out and currently streaming on Shudder and available to buy on physical media.

[Image: Trapdoor Pictures, et al]

Hani

Vampires vs. The Bronx

"Vampires vs. The Bronx" (2020, Osmany Rodriguez, Broadway Video, Caviar, Netflix) is a coming of age vampire comedy set in The Bronx neighbourhood of New York City.

Miguel (Jaden Michael), Bobby (Gerald W. Jones III) and Luis (Gregory Diaz IV) are three friends living in The Bronx. Aside from the usual troubles of girls, overbearing mothers and bullies, the kids are trying to arrange a block party to raise funds to save their local shop and favourite hangout from being shut down and gentrified by a vampiric real estate agency called Murnau Enterprises (a nod to F. W. Murnau; director of the 1922 classic "Nosferatu") who it turns out, are more vampiric than the kids know.... being run by actual vampires...

After Miguel witnesses someone being eaten, the race begins to put a stop to the Murnau company's evil plans, while trying to avoid being eaten themselves! 

A charming film with a 12 rating, so you know going in to expect minimal actual scares. The actors give a great performance as our three protagonists; funny, sweet and characters you want to root for. They are supported by a fun and energetic cast of other characters and the film does a good job of setting up the community feeling of the neighbourhood and its inhabitants. The vampires are cartoonishly ghoulish and possibly rely a little too heavily on the ol' Max Schreck hand gimmick, but fit in with the fun tone of the film.

Definitely a bit of fun just in time for Halloween, and hopefully a film that will attract young potential horror fans with its humour, charm and vampires!

 [Image: Netflix et al]

Hani

Angelica

 "Angelica" (2015, Mitchell Lichtenstein, Pierpoline Films) is a ghost story set in Victorian England, and loosely based on a novel of the same name by Arthur Phillips.

Mitchell Lichtenstein, the man also behind 2007's "Teeth", brings us a ghost story centred, of course, around the lady bits of a young Victorian woman called Constance (Jena Malone). 

Constance marries surgeon Joseph Barton (Ed Stoppard) and soon falls pregnant with their child, Angelica. However, after a traumatic birth, the Bartons are warned to halt all future sexual intercourse; something that both Constance and Joseph find difficult to adhere to. Constance also suffers from severe postpartum depression and finds she cannot separate herself from Angelica for any length of time, to the extent that it further damages her marriage. 

When Constance begins to tell of a sexually explicit apparition of a man haunting the room of Angelica, Joseph dismisses this as further strange 'womanly' behaviour, leading Constance to seek the help of their servant, Nora (Tovah Feldschuh) and her occultist friend and con-artist, Anne Montague (Janet McTeer).

A film that attempts to straddle the line of elegant Victorian stuffiness and perversity, but is subject to a heavy-handedness that leans further towards the latter. Without the strong lead from Malone, who manages to maintain an air of decorum despite the plot's many indignities, it would be a somewhat difficult watch. Many of the scenes head more towards incidental humour and the film lacks the more horror elements that would usually be associated with a Victorian ghost tale.

[Image: Pierpoline Films]

Hani

The Babysitter: Killer Queen

 "The Babysitter: Killer Queen" (2020, McG, Netflix, Wonderland Sound & Vision, Boies/Schiller Film Group) is the sequel to 2017's "The Babysitter".

Judah Lewis reprises his role as Cole, now 2 years older and a bit of a social pariah, having shared his story of the eventful night with Bee (Samara Weaving) and her murderous pals with friends and family... No one believes him, of course. 

An unusual new girl called Phoebe (Jenna Ortega) joins the school who catches Cole's eye, but she seems to have her own problems.

On learning that he is being enrolled in a special school by his parents, Cole runs off with his friend Melanie (Emily Alyn Lind) and her pals for a party. Everything seems to be going as awkwardly as he anticipated until... tables turn and, with the help of Phoebe, he finds himself once again pitted against the odds. 

A fun follow up to the original that continues in a similar style with tongue-in-cheek tropes and a weirdly paced sense of humour. The action remains fun, gory and cartoonish and there are many familiar faces from the first film. However, liking the first film may not necessarily mean this one will tick your boxes; taking the plot out of one location does widen the scope of the story, but does in some respects make it feel a little more disjointed and less neat than the original film.

[Image: Netflix, et al]

Hani

Armistice

 "Armistice" aka "The Captive" aka "Warhouse" (2013, Luke Massey, Double Dutch Film) is a supernatural and psychological thriller.

A.J. Budd (Joseph Morgan) is a Royal Marine who awakens in a strange house. He doesn't remember how he got there, or where exactly he is. In fact, he can't remember much outside of his name and his Rank. He goes downstairs to find breakfast waiting for him, but before he can tuck in he's attacked by a grotesque zombie-like creature. After dispatching of the creature, he finds that he cannot escape the house. Eventually, he finds the creature's body has disappeared and a bag of chips await him for dinner. 

As well as being inescapable, the house also contains no other food than that left for him and all the books are blank inside. Confused, he turns in only to wake and experience a second identical day.

Eventually he finds some books that have been used as diaries by another trapped soldier from some time before called Edward Sterling (Matt Ryan). Sterling reveals that he also has no memory from before the house but he has been injured apparently in battle and has slowly begun to unravel the secrets of the house. Through Sterling's many diaries, Budd attempts to navigate an escape as well as to defend himself from the attacking creatures and attempt to maintain his sanity. But will he dig too far and discover a truth he would rather not know about this place? And what of Sterling's fate?

A slow burning, contemplative film that explores the concepts of self identity (and perhaps of soldiers in particular having that identity changed by their work), of loneliness, of war and of human resilience (or, in some cases, breaking point) while also weaving in some humour to break up the bleakness. The film uses its low budget nature as part of the plot delivery. Our protagonists are trapped and the setting is claustrophobic and repetitive. Both actors give a fantastic performance as they live out their endless identical days and slowly begin to unravel. 

Despite never meeting, Budd and Sterling become almost friends with one keeping the other going up until a point. And the sense of loss and betrayal that Morgan's character experiences as the plot reaches its climax is palpable. 

There are a few little plot holes that leave unanswered questions about how the rules of this prison work. Such as how Sterling is overjoyed to find that a brick he had smashed remains smashed upon his waking, but he never seemed to question his daily markings on the wall and his diary entries remaining intact when other things reset. Perhaps the house has a sense of cruel irony that the prisoners can track their hopeless time but cannot effect their prison permanently. However, the mystery of the house is well achieved and the film keeps the viewer engaged with its clever diary delivery and the comparison of both men's experiences. There's also a really clear sense of difference in era between Sterling and Budd which is shown in their characterisation but also in how they choose to spend their time. I enjoyed the clear contrast between Edward's time spent improving his playing of the piano and Budd's time making an extravagant pillow fort!

Both characters are tragic but their journeys and experiences in the house go in different directions. With Budd finding some motivation in Sterling's writings. Sterling drives the narrative and his journey is driven by a stiff-upper-lip mentality to hold on as long as possible, but inevitably this leads to despair. The scenes with the piano and the wind up to his ultimate fate are emotional.

The effects and make up are practical and gooey. As a fan of low budget gungy gore I was suitably satisfied. 

I make no secret of my appreciation for Matt Ryan, but I say this as a film fan in general when I tell you that this film is a thoughtful film worth checking out. Currently available on Prime UK.

[Images: Double Dutch Films]

Hani 

The Axiom

 "The Axiom" (2018, Nicholas Woods, Axiom Movie Production Co.,  Phoenix Down Films) is a supernatural horror film.

Mackenzie (Hattie Smith) and Martin (Zac Titus), along with some friends, head out to the National Park searching for their missing sister. They seek the help of local man, Leon (William Kircher), who should have been a dead giveaway at best that they were headed towards danger. With wild abandon for their safety, and any thought for their companions, Mackenzie and Martin dive right in.

Upon following Leon's directions, they find themselves in a hidden alternate dimension within the woods, where strange whispers, violent apparitions and possessed friends threaten their lives and sanity... 

A film with a  excellent premise but a mixture of arduous pacing and a lack of monsters rob this film of some of its promise. It does, however, have some fun with its cast and keep a couple of twists fairly well. Also, when we do finally get some monsters they are pretty well done.

 "The Axiom" is worth checking out and I enjoyed Kircher's menacing performance as devious harbinger, Leon.

[Image: Axiom Movie Production Co. & Phoenix Down Films]

Hani

Death of a Vlogger

"Death of a Vlogger" (2019, Graham Hughes, Enlightened Monster Productions, 101 Films) is a found footage mockumentary about a video content creator who discovers his flat is haunted.

Graham Hughes stars as the titular vlogger, Graham, who hits the trending gold mine after a viral video seems to show evidence that his Glasgow flat is haunted. From there we follow a mockumentary style with interviews from friends, fans and... others as we learn the tale of Graham's rise to fame and journey to darker territory.

A well paced, interesting film that delivers some thoughts on the nature of social media and 'cancel culture' as well as some genuine jumps and impressive effects and camera work which are used sparsely and to great effect. The mockumentary and vlog style feels extremely relevant in 2020's pandemic lockdown world and keeps the slow burning style moving. The plot builds up with twists and turns to keep viewers engaged and changing their allegiances between the characters as we are delivered more information.

Creative and well crafted, this film is worth checking out and is currently available to rent from various Video On Demand services.

[Image: Enlightened Monster Productions, et al]

Hani

Patchwork

"Patchwork" (2015, Tyler MacIntyre, Infinite Lives Entertainment) is a horror comedy inspired by various Frankenstein tropes.

A self proclaimed mad scientist (Corey Sorenson) reanimates a corpse made of three different women:
- snooty business woman, Jennfer (Tory Stopler),
- bimbo with a heart of gold, Ellie (Tracey Fairaway), and;
- shy-but-unstable, Madeline (Maria Blasucci).

The woman-women then go on a rampage while they try to work out what's happened to them and how to cope with their new normal... and also to hook up with a guy called Garret (James Phelps) who tries to help them out.

A fun and imaginative take on the popular Mary Shelley-esque tale. Well made and engaging, the film keeps you smiling as you go and doesn't outstay its welcome at 1.5hrs.

Lots of visual gags and a couple of thoughtful moments amongst the mayhem as well as the memorable line "my favourite colour is sparkly".

[Image: Infinite Lives Entertainment]

Hani

Head Count

"Head Count" (2018, Elle Callahan, Samuel Goldwin Films, Goodmother Industries) is a summer film set in Joshua Tree, California.
Evan (Isaac Jay) abandons a potentially boring weekend with his elder brother to join a group of people his own age staying in a rented house in Joshua Tree. He's particularly drawn to one of the group, Zoe (Ashleigh Morghan), a budding photographer, who seems to be into him.
The group party, drink, smoke, make out in the hot tub and tell scary stories by the campfire until things start to go wrong. For you see the scary creepypasta Evan hurriedly recited from the internet on his turn has accidentally summoned a deadly entity into their midst....
A fun summer horror focusing on the old trope of college kids renting cabins and summoning demons, this time with a more desert and less woodland setting. The cast give a good and realistic performance as our group of drinking-game-loving modern day college kids, and the expansive and lonely setting give a good eerie feel.
While the film doesn't really do anything new, the plot pacing is effective and I found myself enjoying the show.
The monster, a shapeshifting creature known as a Hisji, blends a nice, if a little clumsy, mix of The Thing, an Onryō, Slenderman and the creature from It Follows.
The action comes in well paced bursts and there are a few well timed jumps and twists that work well in the context.
While not being anything particularly new or clever, "Head Count" is a competent and fun film and definitely worth checking out if you're looking for something you haven't seen before. Currently available on Netflix UK.

[Image: Samuel Goldwin Films]

Hani 

Der Wixxer

"Der Wixxer" (2004, Tobi Baumann, Rat Pak Filmproduktion) is a German parody film based on elements of the Edgar Wallace crime films of the 1960s.

Set in London (although mostly filmed in the Czech Republic), we follow alcoholic chain-smoking Chief Inspector Even Longer (Oliver Kalkofe) and his new partner Inspector Very Long (Bastian Pastewka) who are on the case to uncover the identity of skull-masked crime lord, Der Wixxer (a corruption of the German slang for 'wanker'), who is both responsible for the murder of Even Longer's previous partner, Inspector Rather Short (Thomas Heinze) and hellbent on taking over the rule of London's crime syndicate.

With a tone of humour somewhat between a "Carry On..." movie and "Young Frankenstein", the film is entertaining but full of eyeroll moments. We have a castle which is 'the last remaining black and white castle in England', a servant called Hatler (I'll let you guess where that joke goes), a couple of dance numbers, a lot visual and verbal puns, a catalogue of humorous villains and a lot of purposefully stilted acting. A few jokes don't quite land (the racist flower seller we could have done without), but overall Der Wixxer delivers exactly what it says it will and does so with humour and a knowing wink.

As a student of the German language this film really appealed to me and I was pleased to be able to pick up on the jokes and plot (however ridiculous) pretty easily. Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to get a hold of a DVD with the English subtitles for this film which does limit the audience a little.

Definitely worth checking out if you have the means. A film that deserves a wider audience.

[Image: Rat Pak Filmproduktion]

Hani

The Tingler

"The Tingler" (1959, William Castle, Columbia Pictures, William Castle Productions).

Dr. Warren Chapin (Vincent Price) discovers that the phenomenon where the spine tingles in fear is actually due to the presence of a fear feasting, parasitic creature which he names The Tingler. The creature can kill its host, but is weakened by a human scream.

Desperate to prove his discovery, he performs an autopsy on a deaf, non-verbal woman who had died of fright, removing the creature! But can he keep such a specimen under control?

One of the Castle films which benefited from his love of gimmicks including the Percepto vibrating cinema seat; a precursor to gimmicks still in use today.

The film is a fabulous schlock classic and the plot moves along well even today under the committed and masterful performance of Vincent Price and some fun effects. The scene where Mrs Higgins (Judith Evelyn) dies of fright is excellent and Castle used striking targeted colour in an otherwise black and white film to bring out the red of the blood.

The Tingler creature itself remains an entertaining effect. The story isn't the most absurd in our wonderful genre by far, but is admittedly weird. Despite that, however, The Tingler is an excellent piece of cinema and definitely a must-see for any classic horror fan.

[Image: Columbia Pictures]

Hani

Contagion

"Contagion" (2011, Steven Soderbergh, Warner Bros. Pictures, Participant Media, Imagenation Abu Dhabi, Double Feature Films) is a film about a deadly virus spreading worldwide.

I thought that during these current times of COVID-19 I'd revisit the excellent, terrifying and sadly extremely relevant "Contagion".

Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow) returns home from an international business trip and accidentally sets in motion a pandemic which spreads like wildfire. We follow different characters who are in the main unaware of their connections to one another as they seek to contain, report, fight or escape the lethal virus.

The film does an excellent job of highlighting how easily the virus spreads, how quickly the panic spreads and how woefully under-prepared the world is in the face of such a situation. Unfortunately, looking at our current events, we are globally even less prepared than displayed in this film. But in the main, it is truly haunting how on the nose the film's events are.

The cast is fantastic. With excellent performances across the board from Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Laurence Fishburne, Chin Han, Marion Cotillard, Elliott Gould, Gwyneth Paltrow... frankly everyone.

Well paced and engaging, the film is gripping at the best of times, but its currently relatable content rings disturbingly true at present.

[Image: Warner Bros. Pictures]

Hani

The Mad Magician

"The Mad Magician" (1954, John Brahm, Colombia Pictures) is the tale of a frustrated magician who turns to murder.

Don Gallico (Vincent Price) makes illusions. But truly, he aspires to perform them as a famous stage magician himself. Adopting the name Gallico the Great, he arranges a fantastical stage show where he will disguise himself as his previous famous clientele and perform the tricks that he invented for them and also his newest invention; a terrifying buzz-saw trick. But his show is halted by legal action and his inventions are taken. Utilising his flare for disguise, he turns instead to murder in order to exact his revenge...

A fun film which has some similarities to "The House of Wax" but with Price playing a slightly more sympathetic villain. The disguises are fun and the action is delightfully shlocky. The film was originally released during the 50s boom of 3D mania and enjoys some of the hammy shots that were made with that in mind. Price, as ever, delivers a fun and gleefully dastardly villain.

[Image: Colombia Pictures]

Hani

From a Whisper to a Scream

"From a Whisper to a Scream" (1987, Jeff Burr, Moviestore Entertainment) is a horror anthology.

Librarian, Julian White (Vincent Price), tells four tales centred around the evil effects of the town of Oldfield, Tennessee on its unlucky inhabitants.

The first tale centres around a man trying to date his glamorous boss.

The second is a tale about a wounded man who learns that there are downsides to eternal life.

The third is about a girl who falls in love with a carnival glass eater, with unfortunate results.

The final is about a group of Unionist soldiers at the end of the civil war who find themselves prisoners of some unusual and dangerous children.

While a little clunky in places and suffering from some pacing issues and a couple of weak segments, the film is still enjoyable for the occasional surprising scene, a couple of dark moments and, of course, Vincent Price.

[Image: Moviestore Entertainment]

Hani

Quarantine

"Quarantine" (2008, John Erick Dowdle, Screen Gems, Vertigo Entertainment, Andale Pictures) is the American remake of 2007's found footage film, "REC".


Duplicating the story, we follow Angela (Jennifer Carpenter) and her crew who are filming a documentary about the lives of a Fire Crew for their news station. When they get a call out, Angela and her camera man tag along, excited to get some action on film. They are called to an apartment building which has been locked down with everyone inside, due to the unusual behaviour of one of the tenants which is suspected to be some kind of virus. The Fire Crew and Camera Crew enter, along with some police but soon find themselves also locked in the building as it is quarantined to contain whatever the hell is going on in there. Soon they are all fighting for survival amongst a horde of infected friends and neighbours... while being sniped down from the outside, barring any hope of escape...


An unnecessary remake that didn't do much other than recreate the original concept scene for scene but in English. The film does have some great effects (that ankle scene) and Carpenter gives an amicable performance as our some-parts terrified, some-parts sassy protagonist.


All in all, the film is well made and enjoyable, but I'd be more inclined to watch Rec above it if given the choice.

[Image: Screen Gems]

Hani

Midsommar

"Midsommar" (2019, Ari Aster, Square Peg, B-Reel Films) is a folk horror set in a cult in Sweden.


I really liked "Hereditary" so I was keen to see "Midsommar".


We meet the very tragic character of Dani (Florence Pugh) who is not having a great time at the moment. Despite their relationship coming to the verge of ending, she agrees to join her boyfriend, Christian (Jack Reynor), and his Cultural Anthropology student pals; Josh (William Jackson Harper) and Mark (Will Poullter); on a summer trip to Sweden to visit the Hårga Commune where their friend Pelle (Vilhelm Blomgren) grew up and to experience the huge cultural Midsommar festival there.


When they arrive everything seems idyllic and otherworldly, but little do they know that all the flower petals in the world couldn't hide the grim undercurrent of the Commune's plans.


Working in a similar vein to 1973's "The Wicker Man", "Midsommar" delivers an upsetting vibe and some extremely effective and gruesome special effects. The group of Americans act as our eyes to the strange world of the Commune. The film does a great job of visualising the psychedelic effects of the drugs the students take and also of their building terror as they start to understand the situation.


For me, the plot felt distractingly slow and I did not particularly like any of the characters, which isn't always necessary, but would have possibly helped keep my interest more. The sound design is meant to be disturbing, but after a while the droning wails and group sobbing kind of ground me down a bit.



The special effects and grim details are really amazing and this alone kept me on board until the end, but I wouldn't necessarily be in a huge hurry to revisit. It also didn't deliver the same level of hollow, savage punch that "Hereditary" had upon initial viewing.


Definitely worth checking, however, as it's certainly a cinematic experience.

[Image: Square Peg, B-Reel Films, et al]

Hani

Blood Monkey

"Blood Monkey" (2007, Robert Young, Thai Occidental Production, RHI Entertainment, Genius Entertainment) is a nature-bites-back adventure horror set in Thailand.

A group of student anthropologists travel to the jungle to assist Professor Conrad Hamilton (F. Murray Abraham) in his quest to capture a creature he believes to be the missing link in human evolution. Only, when the students arrive they discover that the initial research team are no longer there and the Professor and his somewhat sadistic assistant, Chenne (Prapimporn Karnchanda), are less than professional. Can they escape the jungle before the massive, bloodthirsty trophy specimen can brutally murder them all?

I will admit I watched this film for two reasons:

1. It is a B-movie with a pun title
2. I have a crush on Matt Ryan

I stayed for two reasons:

1. Matt Ryan
2. Matt Ryan using his own accent

Ok, a third reason: F. Murray Abraham hamming it up big style! If the scenery hadn't been potentially poisonous, he would have been chomping on it. 

This is a straight-to-DVD syfy movie so it plays out in a very by-the-numbers style: too much dialogue, not enough 'monster'. But it does have some entertaining effects when we finally do see some of our 'monkeys' and there was an abseiling scene which must have been sketchy to film...

It doesn't outstay its welcome at 90 minutes and delivers the anticipated levels of cheese, but it could have been doing with a little bit more monkey for our money. It's definitely a cautionary tale about outlandish uni trips with maniacal professors.

[Image: RHI Entertainment]

Hani

The Invisible Man (2020)

"The Invisible Man" (2020, Leigh Whannell, Blumhouse Productions, Nervous Tick, Goalpost Pictures, Universal Pictures) is a modern retelling of the classic H.G. Wells story, and a poignant story about control and abusive relationships.

Cecilia Kass (Elizabeth Moss) flees in the night from her rich boyfriend, Adrian (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) with the help of her sister, Emily (Harriet Dyer). The two women make their hasty escape, and Cecilia begins living temporarily with her cop friend, James (Aldis Hodge) and his teen daughter, Sydney (Storm Reid).

Cecilia is naturally affected by her ordeal and we learn that Adrian emotionally controlled her during their relationship and she lives in constant fear that he will find her and punish her for leaving. She also reveals that he'd boasted that she would 'never see him coming'.

James is supportive, but as Cecilia's behaviour becomes more erratic he, Emily and Sydney begin to distance themselves from her leaving her to the mercy of her unseen, controlling stalker, who is hellbent on ruining her life...

A film which is very uncomfortable in places and which does a great job of showcasing how a gaslit relationship can look from various angles (the friends', the sister's, the victim's). The action and horror scenes are excellently achieved and there's several parts where I found myself on the edge of my seat. There are a few holes that took me out of the film a bit - time seems to be an elastic concept at points with characters managing to achieve quite a lot in an extremely short space of time (i.e. the fastest and most efficient washing off of paint I've ever seen) and it seems that our titular invisible man is able to hold his bladder for quite an impressive amount of time. On the other hand, however, the modernising of the plot to be more technology based was extremely effective. My trypophobia was going off the charts in some places, though *shudder*.

Moss gives an excellent performance as Cecilia. We feel for her but we're also with her in her fight to prove her innocence. She's not a quitter, but she's also not a textbook heroine, either. She's normal, relate-able and fallible.

Jackson-Cohen also gives a great, if small (visibly) performance as our main antagonist. We never see the abuse first hand but his mastery is in his supposed reasonable demeanour.

Definitely a film worth checking out. It's currently available to rent online from various sources. As scary as a violent, malicious and invisible stalker is, the real horror comes from the helplessness our protagonist feels and they way that her control can be so easily taken away. That, and that whole trypophobia thing...

[Image: Blumhouse Productions]

Hani

Deliver Us From Evil

"Deliver Us From Evil" (2014, Scott Derrickson, Screen Gems, Jerry Bruckheimer Films, LStar Capital) is a possession/crime movie.


Based on the book by Ralph Sarchie himself, the film follows NYC cop, Ralph Sarchie (Eric Bana), as he joins forces with a young, troubled priest (Edgar Ramirez) on a quest to exorcise a group of ex-marines inflicted with a violent demonic entity.


While not quite matching up in quality or content to the likes of "Se7en", the film delivers a familiar crime plot with some nicely achieved horror elements. Sarchie and his partner, Butler (Joel McHale), come across as violent and flawed characters (what with their apparent thirst for a fight, even if they do only want to fight abusers and murderers). Sarchie is also portrayed as a disinterested family man and a man doubting his faith. So when he is called upon to battle the supernatural threat he seizes his opportunity to jump back onto the faith train and save the day.


The horror aspects are okay. We've got possessed people chucking babies into ravines, bricking people up into walls and doing a bit of parkour, all with an obsession with The Doors. Not to mention some fun scenes in the zoo where our protagonist finds himself a little too close for comfort with some of the residents and, of course, his daughter's haunted-ass owl toy. It sounds silly, and it is, but it's also incidentally humorous which I didn't hate. And the makeup/effects are good.


The film's message is a little sledgehammer-y, sloppy and ineffective. But I'm not a religious person so maybe it's just me. There's also some muddiness on whether Sarchie is the good guy or not. Bana's accent isn't stellar either, but if you can look past the film's flaws it is overall entertaining enough to spend a bit of time on. Even if it's mostly for this sodding owl...

[Image: Screen Gems, et al]

Hani

Inhuman Kiss

"Inhuman Kiss" aka "Sang Krasue" (Sitisiri Mongkolsiri, 2019, Nakid, CJ Major Entertainment, M Pictures, Transformation Films) is a Thai horror romance centred around the Southeast Asian myth of the female Krasue spirit (aka Kasu or Ahp); the flesh eating floating head of a beautiful woman trailing entrails and tentacles, and the male Krahang; a ferocious male spirit.

We meet four children, Sai, Noi, Jerd and Ting, who are playing in the forest near an abandoned house. Jerd tells the group that the house is haunted by the spirit of a woman and then the children play hide and seek in the house. 

Years later Ting (Darina Boonchu) is married with a baby, Sai (Phantira Pipityakorn) is training to be a nurse, Jerd (Sapol Assawamunkong) is working with Sai as well as falling in love with her and Noi (Oabnithi Wiwattanawarang) has moved away from the village to live in Bangkok, much to the despair of Sai, who is in love with him. Everyone seems to be getting on with their lives when suddenly Noi returns to the village with a band of hunters on the trail of a Krasue spirit who is killing and eating the livestock. But Sai discovers to her horror that the Krasue is actually a curse and she is the one they are hunting...

Having just appeared on Netflix, and seeing a clip of the insane Krasue transformation online, I knew this would be my kind of film. But I was pleasantly surprised to find it was much more than I had expected. The film delivers a full and interesting plot as well as the gore and effects and manages to strike a balance between the cheesiness of the action and the rather straight-faced character development of our main three characters; Sai, Jerd and Noi. With a run time of just over 2 hours, I had expected to feel things were dragging a little, but the film's action is quite evenly spaced and the run time wasn't really a factor.  The effects are excellently achieved, and I felt the fact it wasn't trying to be funny really worked in its favour. Definitely worth checking out.

[Image: Nakid, et al]

Hani

Land of the Minotaur

"Land of the Minotaur" aka "The Devil's Men" (1976, Kostas Karagiannis, Crown International Pictures) is a horror film set in 1970s Greece.


A group of archaeology-loving tourists begin to go missing when visiting a particular site. Could the shifty Baron Corofax (Peter Cushing) be involved? Could the whole town be in on it?! It's up to Irish Priest, Father Roche (Donald Pleasance), Milo Kaye (Mr Director himself, Kostas Karagiannis - billed here as Costas Skouras) and Laurie Gordon (Luan Peters) to uncover the mystery and put a stop to the worship and sacrifice to the Minotaur.


Both Cushing and Pleasance have led varied and extensive careers and were extremely supportive of the horror genre and its many aspiring creators, being game to appear in a true variety of quality of films. But, in spite of this, the biggest mystery by far is how they ended up in this one with so much screen time considering the other larger budget pieces they were in around the same time! Truly, we did not deserve them.


This film is a delightful piece of B-movie nonsense that includes;

• Donald Pleasance doing an Irish accent and wearing (and losing!) several hats,
• a few females in short shorts and other skimpy outfits,
• a creepy teenaged girl,
• a leading character resembling a young 70s Father Ted (I dare you to not think of it whilst watching Milo) who is nude quite a lot,
• cult worshippers in multi-coloured outfits (it seems the Baron got a discount on several metres of coloured satin at Remnant Kings - and those bejewelled eyeholes, dahling!),
• lots of shots of a convertible driving quite sensibly around Greece coupled with Donald Pleasance berating the driver for being careless,
• people haplessly digging up things on sites of archaeological interest with their bare hands,
• a mysteriously deserted town where the few townsfolk like to enjoy a beer with breakfast,
• Peter Cushing drinking beer and shooting a grandfather clock, and,
• lots of cult sacrifices to a statue of the Minotaur with a bad case of the fire sneezes and a dislike of people in his special room. 

At only 95 minutes long, it's also not too taxing a spectacle and is currently on Amazon Prime in the UK under it's UK title.

[Image: Crown International Pictures]

Hani

Color Out of Space (2019)

"Color Out of Space" (2019, Richard Stanley, SpectreVision, RLJE Films) is an adaptation of the short story of the same title by H.P. Lovecraft.


Theresa (Joely Richardson) and Nathan Gardner (Nicolas Cage) move their family into a large rural house while Theresa is recovering from cancer. The rural location, however, is meddling with Theresa's work and their kids; Lavinia (Madeleine Arthur), Jack (Julian Hilliard) and Benny (Brendan Meyer) are still adapting to the change. Lavinia also makes the acquaintance of Ward (Elliot Knight), a hydrologist doing a survey of the water table in the area.


One night a brilliantly coloured meteor hits nearby, resulting in a strange light around the area and the eruption of bright and alien vegetation. The family begin to experience further strange behaviours amongst themselves and their animals and things begin to become more and more alien.


A bit of a slow start delivers an eventual impressive pay off as things wind up and up throughout the run time. With some fun and disturbing body horror, a great amount of Lovecraft's work still in there and some beautiful and eerie visuals, the whole film is both entertaining and pretty.


The only factor that didn't seem to work for me was Nicolas Cage as the dad. The whole rest of the family seem to gel so well together as a believable unit but his style and tendency towards OTT acting felt out of place and jarring in what was otherwise a fantastic fantasy horror.

[Image: SpectreVision, et al]

Hani

Mandy

"Mandy" (2018, Panos Cosmatos, Spectrevision, Umedia, XYZ Films, RLJE Films) is an arthouse horror thriller starring Nicolas Cage.



Set in the 80s, we meet logger Red Miller (Nicolas Cage) and his fantasy artist and gas station attendant girlfriend, Mandy Bloom (Andrea Riseborough) at their lakeside cabin.


A cult calling themselves Children of the New Dawn along with the help of a drugged-up, cannibalistic biker gang called The Black Skulls, kidnap Mandy for their leader, Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache). However, Mandy rejects Sand and he instead burns her alive in front of Red.


Red then goes on a vengeful rampage armed with a special crossbow, a handmade axe and a whole tonne of hallucinogenic drugs... Oh, and there's a chainsaw battle also.


For me, the description sounded a lot better than the finished article. While I don't dislike Nicolas Cage, there's only so much entertainment I can glean from the famous Cage Rage - and this film is chalk full of it. The plot is pretty simple and the imagery is often really creative but it's all done with a kind of pretentious smirk and a lot of colour filters and starts to wear after a while. Some scenes are fantastically metal but the style likes to jump all over the place. For a film where all the characters are on drugs, however, I guess this makes sense. I guess that's also true for the odd dialogue...


The film takes a while to get started, and when it finally does it jumps off the deep end in an impressive way. If it had been cheesier, it would have been superb. But the arthouse pretention keeps this for being a hit for me.

[Image: Spectrevision, et al]

Hani

The Lighthouse

"The Lighthouse" (Robert Eggers, A24, Regency Enterprises, Universal Pictures) is a black and white psychological film inspired by the avant-garde/experimental style.


Set in the late 19th Century, two lighthouse keepers are sent to the lonely and secluded island for their four week shift. The two do not get on and, trapped on the island in a storm, it seems that they both begin to lose their sanity with deadly results...


Personally, this film was not for me. Technically speaking, however, it's an interesting film. Well shot and bleakly atmospheric, it delivers a disturbing piece. Filmed on 35mm and in an old fashioned ratio adds to the cinematic experience. From what I've read, the set up and filming process were both extremely labour intensive and complicated, so the film is certainly a feat in this regard.


Both Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe give intriguing performances as the younger, less experienced keeper and the abrasive older keeper. Their relationship is taught, uncomfortable and ultimately deadly. There's also the added element that both characters are extremely unreliable narrators (given their own secrets, alcohol abuse and apparent cabin fever), so that we are never truly sure what events are happening, and what are figments of the men's imaginations.


Overall, I found the purposefully disjointed style and delivery to be rather boring and I definitely felt the full 109 minute runtime. Whilst I can appreciate the style and aesthetic of the piece, I didn't find it to be particularly entertaining and, unlike Eggers' "The Witch" (2016) or Ari Aster's "Hereditary" (2018) , I wasn't even left with the same grim emptiness or shell-shocked feeling that lingered after the credits rolled. While I think it's sure to become an important film in the future for aesthetic and style reasons, I wasn't overly impressed with it as a film and wouldn't hold it in the same esteem as I do David Lynch's surreal and uncomfortable "Eraserhead" (1977) (which no doubt played some part in inspiration). For me it played out a little too much like a project piece rather than a finished article.


So, although I can and do appreciate the film's technical and aesthetic merits, it's unlikely to be one I'd choose to revisit. However, for the intrigued, it's certainly worth catching for the experience.

[Image: A24, et al]

Hani

Shock Waves

"Shock Waves" aka "Almost Human" aka "Death Corps" (1977, Ken Wiederhorn, Zopix Company) is a shipwreck-cum-Nazi-zombie-survival movie.


Captain Ben Morris (John Carradine), his crew and his passengers are involved in an accident when travelling across sea. They are forced to abandon their wrecked boat and the survivors find their way onto an nearby island.


They are shocked to learn that the island is not completely uninhabited when they meet a reclusive SS Commander (Peter Cushing) who warns them to leave the island as it is dangerous.


Unable to heed his warning, due mostly to the fact that they lack any means of escape, the survivors find that they are being hunted by a swarm of undead Nazi super-soldiers created during WWII. The Commander had purposefully sunk his ship containing them, trapping himself on the island in the process. But, being zombies, the creatures have been lying dormant in wait of fresh victims...


A slow moving film that lacks the strong plot necessary to keep up momentum, but managing to be entertaining in its sheer silliness and feature a very cool setting. The zombies seem to be mostly aquatic and we are treated to many scenes of them slowly rising from the shallows to trap their victims, walking underwater and jumping into unused swimming pools. They are also decked out in Nazi uniforms and wearing dark goggles which protect them from the dangers of daylight.


I would have enjoyed a little more of both John Carradine and Peter Cushing in this film, but despite their relatively short screentime the film is still engaging thanks to our cast of hapless, squabbling tourists and final girl, Rose (Brooke Adams).


A slow film that does not deliver much in the way of gore or scares; most of the action is off-screen. However, the film is well made, enjoys some good underwater scenes and is nonetheless a good yarn worth checking out. Even if it's mostly just for the begoggled zombies.

[Image: Zopix Co.]

Hani

Dolls

"Dolls" (1987, Stuart Gordon, Empire Pictures) is a killer doll movie.


Little Judy Bower (Carrie Lorraine) is an unlucky tyke. Her parents are divorced and she's stuck on holiday with her selfish father, David (Ian Patrick Williams), and his new wife, Rosemary (Carolyn Purdy Gordon) - the epitome of wicked stepmother and lover of hair wraps.


After their trip is cut short due to a thunderstorm, the family seek shelter in a nearby house; that of elderly puppet-maker, Gabriel Hartwicke (Guy Rolfe) and his rather dotty wife, Hilary (Hilary Mason). They are later joined by some other stranded strangers; punk girls and thieves, Isabel (Bunty Bailey) and Enid (Cassie Stuart), and the child-at-heart schmo the girls have marked as their next robbery victim, Ralph (Steven Lee). The old couple are very accommodating, giving everyone a room each for the night and offering them supper and wine. Gabriel also gifts the young Judy a Mr Punch doll upon finding out that Rosemary threw her favourite teddy bear into the woods!


But as the night wears on the dolls and puppets placed around the large house seem to move, strange voices can be heard coming from behind locked doors, people appear to go missing and suspicious bloodstains begin to appear. Are the friendly Hartwicke's up to something devious? Will Judy escape from her awful father and stepmother? What's the deal with Mr Punch? All is revealed in this fun, cheesy caper.


Despite falling into the low-budget category, "Dolls" enjoys some effects that still look good today. The doll face effects can vary in quality between props, but are pretty good overall. There's also a variety of different little doll-monsters to enjoy and the scenes with them in are fun in a way similar to the "Puppet Master" series. There's also the added layer of watching the dolls' creation which was pretty fun.


Rolfe and Mason provide some likeable villains with an effective creep-factor, both Williams and Gordon also bring some unlikeable fodder to the tale and Bailey and Stuart provide further villains with more annoying accents. Carrie Lorraine does great work as the little leading lady and pushes the plot on with her childish curiosity and bravery.


There's a lesson in there about being a nice person, being a good parent and also about watching out for vengeful dolls. The film delivers this in a gleefully schlocky b-movie way before sending us on our way as yet another family of unhappy individuals lands themselves on the doorstep of Hartwicke's dollhouse....

[Image: Empire Pictures]

Hani

Ghost Story

"Ghost Story" (1981, John Irvin, Universal Pictures) is a ghostly tale about shared secrets... It's based on a Peter Straub novel



Four well-off elderly men, Ricky Hawthorne (Fred Astaire), Dr. John Jaffrey (Melvyn Douglas), Mayor Edward Charles Wanderley (Douglas Fairbanks Jr.) and Sears James (John Houseman) are members of the Chowder Society. They meet to share chilling tales and enjoy a tipple together. But when one of Edward's sons dies in a mysterious accident, it becomes apparent that the Chowder society share a dark secret, and that secret is clawing its way back to them.



A fairly traditional horror with spooky scenes, old creaky houses and a grim little twist in the plot. We are treated to some interesting death scenes including a rather explicit, nude window fall (helicoptering did not seem to help) and quite a sad and melancholy plummet from a bridge.


Our protagonist, Don Wanderley (Craig Wasson), attempts to work out what plagues his fathers' group and family, while also battling his father's contempt for his lifestyle, status and choices. But it is the secretive and elegant society marred with darkness that holds the most interest in the film.


Beautiful scenery and a good cast keep this relatively simple plot going. The film delivers a surprising amount of action, despite the collective age of the main cast. I found it to be old fashioned but entertaining. The film suffers overall from a slightly anticlimactic final act, but a nicely realised final reveal that brings everything to a tidy and complete end.

[Image: Universal Pictures]

Hani

Fade to Black

"Fade to Black" (1980, Vernon Zimmerman, Leisure Investment Company, Movie Ventures) is about a movie buff assuming the personalities of his favourite antagonists from the screen to exact bloody revenge on those who have done him wrong.

Eric Binford (Dennis Christopher) is a lonely and awkward young man living with a woman he believes to be his aunt (Eve Brent) in LA. She is confined to a wheelchair and constantly shouts at and belittles him, blaming him for her current state of affairs. Eric works at a movie distribution company and is constantly heckled by workplace bullies (including Mickey Rourke) and lives only to watch movies. That is until he sees the beautiful Marilyn O-Connor (Linda Kerridge) an Australian Marilyn Monroe lookalike and aspiring actress, and becomes completely obsessed with her.

When the heckling becomes too much for him, and Marilyn seemingly stands him up on a date something snaps in Eric and he begins to disguise himself as the villains from his favourite movies and murdering those responsible for his misery in ways inspired by the movies...

A pretty dark premise and a very engaging film that starts as an intrigue and underdog story, and ends with a tragedy about mental health, loneliness and obsession. But there's humour to be found in there, too.

The film takes care to set up the kill scenes with lighting and effects reminiscent of the films Eric is mimicking. It's all in the killer's mind, of course, but it lets the viewer experience the way he's seeing the world from his perspective. Eric is the hero of his own movie, and what he's doing is completely justified. But the fact he selects, with exception of Hop-along Cassidy, mostly villains; the mummy, Dracula, Tommy Udo... hint towards Eric's recognition that deep down he knows he's not really the hero.

The makeup and costumes are good fun and, although the kill scenes have a fair bit of silliness to them, there's an excellent scene with the Dracula makeup that seems to hint at some of Eric's personality still behind the obsession. But he completes the look and loses his senses once again.

Dennis Christopher creates a creepy and distasteful character, but also manages to inspire our sympathies despite his murderous and grim antics and annoying air of superiority when talking about his obsession; cinema. His descent into madness is caricaturish, but the climatic scenes at the Chinese Theatre in LA are intense and tragic.

Managing to be a film about the dangers of movie obsession leading too far, and also oddly not fully condemning cinephiles as a whole (at the end of the day, the target audience), "Fade to Black" remains an effective film today and is definitely worth checking out.

[Image: Movie Ventures, et al]

Hani

Snatchers

"Snatchers" (2019, Stephen Cedars, Benji Kleiman, Warner Bros.) is a horror comedy about teen pregnancy.

Sara (Mary Nepi) is enjoying her senior year as a popular girl in school. But upon having sex for the first time ever with self-centred school hunk Skyler (Austin Fryberger) she wakes up the next day to find that she's suddenly nine months pregnant with an alien child... With the help of her ex-BFF, Hayley (Gabrielle Elyse), she attempts to deal with the situation with as small a massacre as possible (spoiler: it's not small) and without ruining her reputation amongst her new cool pals or revealing her shame to her mother.

With high energy, puppets, tonnes of blood, a great sense of humour and some strong acting from everyone involved, this fun little romp through the dangers of unprotected sex and why you shouldn't touch fragile displays in museums is an entertaining comedy horror which manages to pack a punch.

With shades of Critters, some splashes of Alien and a lot of Mean Girls/Heathers influence, "Snatchers" manages to deliver a cautionary tale without losing the sheer silliness and entertainment factor that the audience comes for.

[Image: Warner Bros.]

Hani

Freaks (2019)

"Freaks" (2019, Adam Stein, Zack Lipovsky, Amazing Incorporated, Wise Daughter Films, My Way Productions, Storyboard Capital Group) is a science fiction thriller.

Chloe (Lexy Kolker) is a seven year old girl living with her father, Henry (Emile Hirsch), in an abandoned house. Henry appears quite disturbed and will not allow Chloe outside of the house or to even look out of the windows. However, Mr. Snowcone (Bruce Dern), the local ice cream man, is on a mission to get Chloe out into the world for his own reasons...

At first I thought I'd found my way onto yet another slow burning dud, but after the initial confusing build up, the film starts to really pick up and takes us in several new directions I hadn't been expecting.

Lexy Kolker is a fantastic little lead actress and manages to conquer some pretty tough looking scenes with an effortless ease and reality. We're completely with her the whole way through, even when we occasionally don't know what's going on. Chloe is faced with some dark situations, and some scenes cover some quite violent or morally questionable themes. It's dark, scary and quite fascinating.

Emile Hirsch is also great in the part as the slightly unhinged father. From first introduction until the final reveal we're never quite sure what his deal is and how much of it is fabricated.

I like Bruce Dern in general, but he's excellent in this part treading the line between friendly and scary with deft ease and a hint of relish. As the audience learn more about what's really going on we find ourselves understanding his character more, even if we don't like his methods.

Overall, I found the film enjoyable. I appreciate that the build up was kept consciously vague to allow the reveal to be more effective, and in I'm glad I didn't give up on it when I wasn't sure if it was going anywhere. Some of the scenes are really engaging, especially in Chloe's cupboard, but there are a few parts of the film that felt a little 'syfy TV special' and didn't quite gel as well into the overall body. On the whole, however, I would definitely watch this film again.

[Amazing Incorporated, et al]

Hani