Saturday, 21 July 2012

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

"My Bloody Valentine" (2009, Lionsgate Films, Patrick Lussier) is the remake of the 1981 slasher. It was made for 3D and very obviously so.

The film's about a town which has seen a tragic accident in one of its mines. Six men were caved in, but only one survived, Harry Warden (Richard John Walters), who was found in a coma after slaughtering all of his miner friends... He reawakened on Valentine's Day and slaughtered lots of people (while wearing his crazy miner-number-niner outfit) before being killed himself. Now, some years on, a killer also dressed as a miner appears to be on the loose. Is Harry back from the dead and on the rampage?

We follow the lives of Axl Palmer (Kerr Smith) and Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles) who is the son of the shamed and blamed mine owner. The young men and their girlfriends are having a booze up in the old abandoned mine when Warden shows up during his rampage.

We then jump forward in time a few years so that Tom is now the mine owner, Axl is now the sheriff, and Warden's dead, right? So no more killer. Nope, there's definitely a killer.

The plot is pretty basic, but I find that's the best thing for slasher flicks.

The action is fast and gross, very reminiscent of both the original film and also some of the works of Sam Raimi. There's a lot of blood sprays and flying body parts. Pickaxes and shovels find themselves stuck imaginatively into bodies. Almost every possible thing comes at you from the screen to make the most of the whole 3D thing. It's a bit forced, though, I feel. But sometimes used to good effect.

There's also a naked lady on screen for about 10 full minutes which I'm sure the men-folk appreciate (3D boobies).

All in all, it's pretty uninventive, but slashers generally are. It's part of their nature. Also, Jensen Ackles is in it (being type cast again! But also, oh so handsome).

The characters aren't developed, the patter's not exactly clever and the twist isn't that well hidden. It's definitely not a ground breaking game changer of a movie, but for some gross-out, cheesey, blood soaked fun, it's a good watch. Plus, did I mention Jensen Ackles is in it?

[Picture: Lionsgate Films]
Someone should tell grandpa that that's not how you 'pick' your teeth. Get it? Ok, I'll get my coat...