Freaks of Nature

"Freaks of Nature" (2015, Robbie Pickering, Columbia Pictures, Sony Pictures) is a horror comedy set in a town called Dillford where humans, vampires and zombies co-exist together in harmony.... until some aliens show up, that is.

Dillford is famous for riblets... and for having a multicultural society comprised of vampires, humans and zombies. There has never been any issues with each group all cohabiting the town and attending the local high school without issue. It seems that vampire and zombie teens have all the same issues as human teens do (bullying, peer pressure, popularity...etc...).

Suddenly, a horde of aliens appear from outer space and the humans blame the vampires, who blame the humans, and the zombies... well, they're just being zombies... but they're sick of this shit regardless. Brains. Whatever.

The start of the film was surprisingly un-engaging. It set up like any other teen high school film, except with added zombies. The film takes the proverbial out of all the typical classic and modern horror tropes. However, once the aliens show up things do become more interesting and the main 3 characters become more than two dimensional.

I have to hand it to Josh Fadem who gave a pretty awesome performance as whizz kid-turned zombie. His background antics in pretty much every scene he was in was really superb.

Whilst it is very tropey and takes a while to get started, the film plays out quite well with a fair amount of gore and comedy value and co-stars a few fun recognisable faces. It's cheesy but I warmed to it as it unfolded. I had worried that it would end up too messy with all the monster mashing (get it?!) but actually it worked out OK. It's a cheesy horror comedy set in a high school. It does exactly what it says on the tin!

[Image: Sony Pictures]

Hani

Creep

"Creep" (2014, Patrick Brice, Blumhouse Productions, The Orchard) is a found footage film.

Cameraman for hire, Aaron (Patrick Brice), takes a mysterious job with a guy called Josef (Mark Duplass) for $1,000 for a full day's work. He drives up to a cabin in the woods and meets Josef there. Josef is a strange, uncomfortably overly-familiar man who explains that he is dying from a brain tumour and would like Aaron to help him film a video for his unborn child. Josef is weird, but he seems sincere, and $1,000 is a lot of money for just a little bit of weirdness, so Aaron takes the job.

Josef asks Aaron to film him doing some pretty nutty stuff, but nothing so serious that Aaron runs off. Then Josef insists that Aaron come in for a drink before setting off, you know since they're besties now. Aaron unwillingly agrees and soon finds that Josef is even stranger than he first envisaged. He cannot shake his new friend, the police will not take him seriously and it seems like Josef is getting more and more intense.... But is he truly dangerous? Or just slightly unhinged?

Although slow burning, this found footage film manages to be engaging and uncomfortable to watch. Duplass gives a stellar and unsettling performance as the creepy, compulsive liar and I found myself really feeling for the confused and frightened Aaron. I'm not really a fan of found footage films, but this one does well as it maintains a linear viewpoint and perspective: we don't go jumping from medium to medium.

A surprisingly effective amount of tension is successfully built through the film as Josef becomes more and more creepy. And, despite not being a gory film, it manages to have a chilling and memorable quality.

I also appreciated that this film was centred around masculine characters instead of the old damsel in distress chestnut. I think it really made for a different kind of film than I went in expecting.

[Image: Blumhouse Productions, et al]

Hani

Unfriended

"Unfriended" (2014, Leo Gabriadze, Bazelevs Company, Blumhouse Productions, Universal Pictures) is a modern horror featured around the dangers of the internet and how being an asshole can have a price tag. Or something.

It's been a year since high school student, Laura Barns (Heather Sossaman) committed suicide after being publicly humiliated by a drunken video online. Her friends Blaire (Shelley Hennig), Mitch (Moses Jacob), Adam (Will Peltz), Jess (Renee Olstead), Ken (Jacob Wysocki) and Val (Courtney Halverson) are meeting online for a group Skype conversation when they notice that a random has joined in. Confused, they try to shake them, but it seems like this creeper can't be gotten rid of so easily.

Soon, they begin to each receive random and threatening messages and notice that Laura's Facebook has been hacked and is posting private messages, videos and other weird things. They decide to give up when the random, who they find is using Laura's old Instagram account, chimes in warning them that if they do, one of them will die. Some of their own profiles begin to do strange things too, and a fight is sparked when Jess appears to be sharing humiliating pictures of Val at a party.

One by one, each person is forced to reveal horrific secrets they've been keeping that make my "rebellious" teenage years look really, really tame. As the friendships die, so do some of the friends in apparent suicides.... But why?

It's a good premise and it's executed as well as it can be. There's a lot of reading involved and it must have been a damned cheap film to make. The scares will really only suffice for a younger generation and computer literate audience. Essentially, we're just sat watching over someone's shoulder (Blaire's) looking at her screen while the events unfold. We're also talking the usual pretty laggy Skype video quality we all know and love...

So, whilst I commend it for being about a pretty tricky subject (cyber bullying) and for having a good, modern gimmick, it does suffer for being a touch too gimmicky. We could have done with less friends to watch die for a start, since the death scenes have such little payout. Really the film could have been a bit shorter and still packed a punch. However, I enjoyed the mystery of it all and watching it all unfold. And it's always funny to watch people argue and get called out for lies and bad behaviour. There's also a lesson in here for being a nice person... and not posting mortifying videos of your mates at their worst.

Really, these guys were just the worst kind of people. Wow.

Some of the deaths are pretty impressively captured, despite the medium used. It's not the kind of film you can watch again and again, but I have to say it surpassed my expectations quite well.

[Image: Universal Pictures, et al]

Hani

Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

"Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse" (2015, Christopher Landon, Broken Road Productions, Brucks Entertainment, Oops Doughnuts Productions) is a zombie horror comedy.

A small group of scouts (Tye Sheridan, Logan Miller and Joey Morgan) head out on their last camp, with full intentions of ditching the overnight and heading to a much cooler "seniors secret party" happening in town. A zombie outbreak puts a stop to their plans and they have to take down as many zombies as possible with the help of an ass-kicking barmaid from the local strip club (Sarah Dumont).

A pretty predictable horror comedy gross-out with a really promising and engaging set up which quickly becomes very samey and joins the other primordial soup of 'zombie comedy horrors' already out there.

The acting is good, the characters are even pretty likeable and funny, but sadly there's only so much that cheesy one-liners, zombie kitties (and tits) and buckets of gore can do in a genre so overdone as the zombie comedy horror genre.

[Image: Broken Road Productions, et al]

Hani

Let's Scare Jessica to Death

"Let's Scare Jessica to Death" (1971, John D. Hancock, Paramount Pictures, The Jessica Company) is a film about an emotionally fragile woman who is experiencing strange visions and nightmares.

Jessica (Zohra Lampert) is recovering from a meltdown. She and her husband, Duncan (Barton Hayman), and their friend, Woody (Kevin O'Connor), have all given up their jobs and moved out to a farm in Connecticut known to the locals as 'The Ol' Bishop Place'.

Upon arriving there, they discover a squatter called Emily (Mariclare Costello) living in the house. Being 70s free spirits, they decide to let Emily stay because she can play guitar and stuff... Oh, and Woody fancies her.

Jessica is scared to tell the others, in case they think she's going crazy again, but she's begun to hear voices, see a mysterious blonde girl in a white dress and has been grabbed by pale, grasping hands under the water when swimming. When she's told an eerie tale by a local, she begins to see things fall in to place... or is it all just in her mind?

A slow chiller with a twisty and slightly confusing plot. This film is very much of its time, but still manages to have a few nice chilling scenes. On the whole, however, the title promises things that the end product does not deliver. And the story is definitely not what I was anticipating!

[Images: Paramount Pictures]

Hani

Don't Open 'til Christmas

"Don't Open 'til Christmas" (1984, Edmund Purdom, Spectacular Trading International, 21st Century Film Corporation) is an English holiday slasher.

It's Christmas time and someone wearing a translucent mask is going around killing anyone dressed as Santa. One of the Santas is killed in front of his daughter, Kate (Belinda Mayne) who is then determined to find out who's behind it. Chief Inspector Ian Harris (Edmund Purdom) is also on the case, but something familiar is getting in his way to solving the mystery...

A cheesy B-Movie directed by and starred by Edmund Purdom (whom I know from my favourite B-movie gorefest, "Pieces"). It's wooden, silly and, as usual, a little transfixed with the porn and sleaze side of the city. The predictable scenes are humorous to watch due to their sheer ridiculousness. If you enjoy watching random guys dressed as Santa getting killed by an unconvincing machete, or having their members cut off in the men's bathroom, this film is for you!

A silly plot, with an equally silly motive, this fairly woeful film is definitely in the so-bad-but-can't-look-away pile.

[Image: Spectacular Trading International]

Hani

Goodnight, Mommy

"Ich Seh, Ich Seh" aka "Goodnight, Mommy" (2015, Veronika Franz, Severin Fiala, Ulrich Seidl Film Produktion GmbH) is a slow burning horror from Austria.

Lukas (Lukas Schwarz) and Elias (Elias Schwarz) are twin boys who have come to live with their mother in her ultra-modern, secluded house. Their mother (Susanne Wuest) has undergone some serious facial surgery and the boys begin to suspect that the person under the bandages is not actually her.

A really quite disquieting film with a horrifying and engaging plot. The boys and Wuest give a really excellent performance as the dysfunctional family. The viewer is intrigued as the strange scene becomes more and more disturbing until the boys are forced to find answers.

Nicely simple effects, slight variations on horror tropes and a secluded setting give this film a quiet and suspenseful, arthouse-y feel.

I really enjoyed this film and it left me with a slightly ghostly feeling which was hard to shake,

[Image: Ulrich Seidl Film Produktion GmbH]

Hani