Monday, 18 February 2013


"Valentine" (2001, Jamie Blanks, Village Roadshow Pictures, NPV Entertainment, Warner Bros. Pictures) is a holiday slasher based around the ever romantic celebration of chocolates and overpriced roses.

We open to a junior high school Valentine's dance. A school loser is asking girls to dance and is being turned down at every opportunity. Even when he finally gets a girl's attention it is in secret, and when some bullies find the pair, the girl, being a little overweight and low in self-esteem herself, decides to claim that the poor boy has assaulted her! The bullies beat the smaller boy and during all this we see his nose bleeding.

Now on to present day where we join the group of girls, those who rejected the boy and his accuser, all grown up and enjoying their lives. Slowly, however, the girls begin to be picked off by a madman in a Cupid mask, who suffers a lot of nosebleeds...

With some mildly disturbing Valentine's gifts, a Michael Myers knock-off killer (albeit with creepy-cutsie-pie mask), some relatively lively scenes and some cheesy 90s-style patter, I always find this film to be an adequete little Valentine's slasher.

A product of the late-nineties-to-early-2000s, this film is hardly a cerebral adventure, but it's fit for purpose and has a good little tale. There's an unimaginative twist, but I do enjoy some of the characters. The pervy policeman in particular is entertaining.

With a few recognisable faces, David Boreanaz, Katherine Heigl, Denise Richards, Jessica Cauffiel... to name a few, Valentine delivers the goods performance-wise and plot-wise without trying to be more than it is. Oh and the music is good!

Simple and satisfying, but don't go in expecting anything clever!

[Image:  Warner Bros. Pictures]