Saturday, 9 February 2013

Secrets Of The Clown

"Secrets Of The Clown" (2007, Ryan Badalamenti, Brain Damage Films, Badman Productions) is, in essence, a killer clown movie.

Bobby (Paul Pierro) feels that he is being haunted by a spirit after the brutal murder of his friend Jim (Jay O'Connor) in his house. His girlfriend, Val (Kelli Clevenger), has also become very distant and oddly protective of her toy clown doll. Soon other friends of Bobby begin to be killed off. Could the clown be responsible?

Dun. Dun. Duuhhhhhhhnn!

Sounds ok, doesn't it? A little schlocky, maybe. Well, it's a low budget attempt so I would be inclined to forgive the sometimes shaky camera work and I was expecting crappy gore. But the first scene is very promising! And the musical score is pretty well put together.

However, the dialogue is painful and truthfully, badly executed by wooden acting. It references 'Ghostbusters' and 'South Park', but the lines aren't very funny. And, although character stereotypes are set up, the characters are just not full enough for any audience sympathy. But I'm used to this in B-movies, so I wasn't expecting much anyway.

The plot is confusing, jumpy and seems uncertain of what's going on and there are a lot of dream sequences that, although sometimes actually creepy, don't do much for the story. It was like Badalamenti couldn't decide if he wanted the bad guy to be a clown, a ghost, a demon or witches. It makes little sense and by half way through the film I just didn't really care any more!

The characters are not likeable, and although the clown make up is good, considering the meagre budget this film must have had, he's not really used to his full potential.

The gore is surprisingly good for B-movie-dom, but it's not quite "Murder Party" impressive (another terribly wooden film). And I didn't understand where some of the blood splatters were from, especially in the car scene. But that's not really a bad thing in a slasher!

There are a lot of topless women in this film, so I suppose that would save it for some people. There's also a sexy nurse and a shower scene. So, if you're looking for boobs, this could be right up your street. 

But it's not scary, it's not clever and it's indecisive as to which horror-sub-genre it wants to be in. Cheesy, but not in the good way.

[Image: Brain Damage Films & Badman Productions]