Sunday, 25 May 2014


"Stitches" (2012, Conor McMahon, Fantastic Films, Tailored Films, MPI Media Group, Irish Film Board) is a British and Irish revenge 'comedy' horror starring comedian Ross Noble as an undead clown, back to reap revenge on the child bullies who brought about his demise now that they are all fornicating teens.

I'm perhaps biased as I find Ross Noble to be less than funny at the best of times, but this gross out film didn't strike a chord with me at all.

While the gore is commendable, inventive and fun, its cartoon-like quality detracts from any scares that could have taken place and Nobel's foul-mouthed, grimy, burnout clown lacks the charisma of most speaking-part slasher killer characters.

The film doesn't feel like a horror or a comedy, and the rude, brash 'humour' is just slapstick and bad language. I'm Scottish, believe me bad language doesn't bother me, but the scriptwriters seemed to be using it here instead of actual comedy.

While the acting cannot be faulted, the hollow plot doesn't create the fun 80s feeling I was hoping for.

Trashy and unfunny... But there's heaps of blood and bodily explosions, if that's what you want. But I bet it read better as a story board, really.

[Image: Fantastic Films]