Tuesday, 11 November 2014


"Ouija" (2014, Stiles White, Platinum Dunes, Hasbro, Blumhouse Productions, Universal Pictures) was last Halloween's rush-job jumper brought to you by Hasbro.... Yep, you guessed it, it's pretty much a really long toy commercial...

Laine (Olivia Cooke) and her best pal Debbie (Shelley Hennig) used to love to play with a ouija board. Then they grew up and got into just filming everything ever (from the mundane tasks of cleaning their attic to their highschool conversations) with a digital camera instead, and the ouija board was banished from their minds.

Unluckily, it resurfaces again when Debbie cleans said attic, and the spirit she contacts with it is less than fluffy. Soon the whole gang are being hounded by this vengeful ghost, but is everything as it seems....?

...Of course it is. This film was nothing but a string of tropes. So predictable was every clich├ęd scene that my boyfriend and I began shouting out what was coming before it happened in order to actually entertain ourselves.

Another thing is it's complete lack of pacing. The film takes forever to get to the point, and then wants to bombard you with typical horror fayre thereafter. By the time the action hit I was bored.

The big 'twist' is so obvious it isn't even worth being wary of spoilers and the teens are extremely catalogue-y.

Generic as all hell. I recommend for teens and sleepovers, and that's all. And, how unscary is the name Doris? Seriously?!

[Image: Hasbro, et al]