Thursday, 26 February 2015

Girl House

"Girl House" (2015, Trevor Matthews) is a slasher set in a place that can only be described as the "Playboy Mansion" meets the "Big Brother House".

We are first introduced to a heavy boy being taunted by young girls (one of whom you may recognise as little cat woman in "Gotham"). The girls unfairly tease the boy and call him 'Loverboy' over and over. They eventually push him too far and he exacts some pretty graphic revenge.

Jump to present day and Kylie is a college student in need of money. She decides to enrol as a new sexpot starlet for reality porn website which is filled with 24 hour cameras and hot babes going about everyday life... and then some. And, wouldn't you know it, she gets the job.

Kylie is given the tour and is introduced to her new housemates who, of course, range from bitchy, to lesbian, to busty, to kick ass, to nice. Kylie's given her room and her laptop and left to it. She soon proves she has the stuff "Ugly Coyote"-style by dancing in her pants for all the drooling viewers. That makes her an official girl now, so that's that out of the way.

Soon we are reintroduced to, now fully grown and still trodden-upon, Loverboy (rapper Slain); a frequenter and regular of the porn site. All the girls know his name and, because they cannot judge him on his looks because it is a one way camera set up, they think of him affectionately as a simple sweetie and nothing to be scared of. Unfortunately, being too nice to this guy can cause issues and Kylie manages to go too far. Even more unfortunate is the fact that Loverboy is pretty good with the ol' IT skills and, donning standard slasher attire, he finds the house and turns this film from a weird softporn film into a weird softporn gorefest.

I went in knowing practically nothing about this film. The opening credits are very...well, smutty, really, but I decided not to let me get put off. About half way through I was caught between actually being curious about this plot and also wondering when the horror was going to start, but believe me, there's a lot of gore payoff after the first half.

Actually this film is quite effective. Yes it's full of tropes and, yes it is pretty much a slasher in a house full of honeys in sexy undies, but actually some of the gore is quite creative and the acting is really good, if sometimes a bit cheesy. As well as the sexy ladies and our "Heffner"-like character, we also have love interest, Ben, and his nerdy college roommate, Alex; who proves to be a very good comedic foil.

The plot is not ground breaking, but it's quite fun. I'd hasten to add this is obviously not everyone's cup of tea; it is set in a porn-mansion. But, I was pleasantly surprised to find out this film was not a train wreck and was oddly a funny, naughty, blood-soaked cheese-fest.


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