Drag Me To Hell

"Drag Me To Hell" (2009, Sam Raimi, Universal Pictures) is a movie about a girl who is cursed by an old lady.

Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) is a bank loan officer. Feeling like she is failing in her career prospects because of her friendly nature, she finally takes out her frustrations on a creepy old woman, Sylvia Ganush (Lorna Raver), who is looking for another extension on her mortgage. Christine tells Mrs Ganush that she cannot give her an extension, and Mrs Ganush begs her to reconsider (like literally, on her knees). Christine has Mrs Ganush thrown off of the premises.

She later runs into Mrs Ganush again who attacks her and tells her she's cursed.

Then the crazy terror begins. In true Raimi style it's nuts and manic! And uh... gross. Brilliantly gross! And hilarious! Like a live action 'Tom and Jerry' cartoon if it had been written by Sam Raimi.

I think Alison Lohman does very well in the, how can I say it? - 'female Ash' role. Which it pretty much is; innocent person put into crazy situation, goes crazy, does crazy things.... it never ends well for them! She goes crazy in an entertaining way. And she's feisty, not the poor-me female lead... but hell does she scream! OK, she's no Bruce Campbell, but I find her performance most enjoyable.

The spirit torments poor Christine through the whole movie. She cannot find forgiveness from Ganush, as she is dead, and she simply appears mad to everyone around her, including her boyfriend Clay (Justin Long). Thankfully, she finds help from a fortune teller, Rham Jas (Dileep Lao), the only person who believes her. Jas convinces her to pay Shaun San Dena (Flor de Maria Chahua), the woman we see at the beginning of the movie who was unable to save a young cursed boy, $10,000 to save her.

There's some séance-ing along with some chanting of "I welcome the dead into my soul!" which reminds me of the deadite's chant in 'Evil Dead 2'; "I'll swallow your soul!"

Really fun, even if it is a bit odd; I mean, crazy old lady or not, surely someone explained what mortgaging your house meant to her?!

Anyway, I'd recommend for some gore, fantasy violence and shock value. And it's very loud!

[Picture: Universal Pictures]

Hani 

The Grudge

"The Grudge" (2004, Takashi Shimizu, Columbia Pictures, Ghost House Pictures) is the American remake of the Japanese original from all the way back in, check this, 2003.

Now the Japanese version is terrifying! And the American version is too. This was my first viewing of the American one, and I have to admit to some jumping.

Similar to "The Ring" and "One Missed Call", two other excellent Japanese horror stories, the plot is based around a terrible death in a house in Japan, a curse and a Chinese-whispers-esque/domino effect resulting in the inevitable pile of corpses.

True to the style of the Japanese original, the remake of "The Grudge" keeps the terrifying can-come-out-of-anywhere ghost with straggly hair (an onryō ghost, Wikipedia tells me). Usually, seeing all ruins the effect, but this film is truly haunting, even if it does show you all the details.

I'm a Sarah Michelle Gellar fan, so naturally I was pleased with her performance as care worker Karen. And it's always nice to see Ted Raimi.

The child ghost Toshio (Yuya Ozeki) is absolutely terrifying in a very sad way. And naturally Kayako (Takako Fuji) is the stuff of nightmares as the vengeful female ghost.

The special effects are awesome and will keep you on the edge of your seat. While I prefer the Japanese original, this remake did everything right. Scary stuff!

[Picture: Ghost House Pictures]

Hani

Man with the Screaming Brain

"Man with the Screaming Brain" (2005, Bruce Campbell, SciFi Channel).

I just opened my "The Bruce Campbell Collection" boxset, so expect some raving reviews on the works of the B-Movie king!

I'm not sure what I expected from this comedy/sci-fi/horror, but "Man with the Screaming Brain" delivers everthing it says on the tin (or rather, the box...) and accomplishes it with the cheesey, awesome style I've come to expect from such quality productions.

The Basic Plot

William Cole (Bruce Campbell) is a rich business tycoon in the pharmaceutical industry. He and his wife Jackie (Antoinette Byron) arrive 'somewhere in Bulgaria', where most people seem to be Russian, for a conference. Bruce Campbell happily hams up his 'ugly American' capitalist character into an unlikeable jackass. And his wife is an equally unlikeable rich-bitch love cheat.

The mad scientist, Dr. Ivan Ivanov (Stacy Keach) and his assistant, Pavel (Ted Raimi) are working on a scientific solution to halt body rejection of transplanted organs. Raimi gives a hilarious performance and really clearly enjoys the role. Also, I watched this with a guy working on his PhD in Theoretical Physics and we had to pause a scene while he studied their blackboard so that we could confirm that yes, indeed, it was just a bunch of equations which together have no meaning! Note to self, avoid movies with equations when watching with scientists in future!

Cole rudely dismisses an invite to see the doctor's work. Too bad for him, huh?

Cole and Jackie take a taxi and wind up in Gypsie Town where they witness a fight and also spy the mysterious Gypsie beauty, Tatoya (Tamara Gorski).

Jackie quickly gets frisky with the taxi driver, Yegor (Vladimir Kolev), a character I also really enjoyed. Cole, in the meantime, tries his luck with Tatoya, but is instead robbed and then bludgeoned when he attempts to take back his belongings. Yegor witnesses the attack on Cole and confronts Tatoya (who is his ex-fiancée) only to be killed himself!

The doctor then takes this opportunity to demonstrate his research to Mr. Cole first hand by bringing him back to life!

Cole later awakens to find that he is in the doctor's very-convincing (yes, that was sarcasm) laboratory, and has been 'patched up' using some parts of Yegor's brain where his had been damaged. I enjoyed the cranial stitching, also very convincing (yes, more sarcasm!). Cole escapes the laboratory and discovers that he can hear Yegor speaking to him inside his head!

Jackie, in a fit of rage, attacks Tatoya for killing her husband, but is then also killed by that gypsie minx. Luckily, she's brought back as a robot in a yellow catsuit.

There's some more fighting, an unconvincing car chase, a tiny explosion and of course, no Bruce Campbell movie would be complete without the textbook Bruce vs Bruce scene!

(Picture: Scifi Channel)

Verdict

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. If it were a rollercoaster, it's definitely the one where you ride on the caterpillar through the apple core; simple, pleasing and not at all scary!

Ted Raimi steals the show and I do enjoy his American-being-Bulgarian-being-Russian-being-American-rapping! Hilarious!