Der Wixxer

"Der Wixxer" (2004, Tobi Baumann, Rat Pak Filmproduktion) is a German parody film based on elements of the Edgar Wallace crime films of the 1960s.

Set in London (although mostly filmed in the Czech Republic), we follow alcoholic chain-smoking Chief Inspector Even Longer (Oliver Kalkofe) and his new partner Inspector Very Long (Bastian Pastewka) who are on the case to uncover the identity of skull-masked crime lord, Der Wixxer (a corruption of the German slang for 'wanker'), who is both responsible for the murder of Even Longer's previous partner, Inspector Rather Short (Thomas Heinze) and hellbent on taking over the rule of London's crime syndicate.

With a tone of humour somewhat between a "Carry On..." movie and "Young Frankenstein", the film is entertaining but full of eyeroll moments. We have a castle which is 'the last remaining black and white castle in England', a servant called Hatler (I'll let you guess where that joke goes), a couple of dance numbers, a lot visual and verbal puns, a catalogue of humorous villains and a lot of purposefully stilted acting. A few jokes don't quite land (the racist flower seller we could have done without), but overall Der Wixxer delivers exactly what it says it will and does so with humour and a knowing wink.

As a student of the German language this film really appealed to me and I was pleased to be able to pick up on the jokes and plot (however ridiculous) pretty easily. Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to get a hold of a DVD with the English subtitles for this film which does limit the audience a little.

Definitely worth checking out if you have the means. A film that deserves a wider audience.

[Image: Rat Pak Filmproduktion]

Hani

Angel Heart

"Angel Heart" (1987, Alan Parker, Carolco Pictures) is a neo-noir horror set in 1950s New Orleans.

Harry Angel (Mickey Rourke) is a New York P.I. who finds himself hired by the mysterious Louis Cyphre (Robert De Niro) to find a missing singer known as Johnny Favourite. As Angel gets further into his investigations he finds that things may not be as they seem...

An interesting thriller that takes the viewer on the unsettling journey with Angel as he slowly begins to unravel the nightmare he's found himself in and work out how he's connected. The film enjoys some dark imagery and, although for today's viewer it might seem clear from early on where the plot is headed, the journey is enjoyable. The dark noir atmosphere is punctuated by some effective gore and a haunting ending. There is also a violent and stylistic love scene featuring Rourke and Lisa Bonet which leads to a somewhat disturbing climax.

[Image: Carolco Pictures]

Hani

Dead Heat

"Dead Heat" (1988, Mark Goldblatt, New World Pictures) is a horror comedy.

Detectives Roger Mortis (Treat Williams) and Doug Bigelow (Joe Piscopo) are investigating an unusual robbery at a jewellery store where two of the robbers, having been killed by police, are found to be people who had already had autopsies completed on them previously... by the same police morgue coroner.

Following the chemical clues from the bodies, the Detectives find themselves involved in a science fiction plot where one of them will become the living dead! In a race against time to decomposition, the team must try to take down the evil corporation bringing the dead back to life.

A fun, daft film which doesn't try to be more than what it is and enjoys a lot of pseudoscience, cheesy fight scenes (including the oddest fight scene involving freshly butchered animal carcasses ever) and a small cameo from Vincent Price.

[Image: New World Pictures]

Hani

Hellraiser: Judgment

"Hellraiser: Judgment" (2018, Gary J. Tunnicliffe, Dimension Films, Lionsgate Films) is the tenth film in the Hellraiser series.

We follow three detectives; Sean Carter (Damon Carney), his brother David Carter (Randy Wayne) and Christine Egerton (Alexandra Harris), as they work on a serial killer case. However, as the case progresses, they begin to find themselves involved into something a lot more hellish...

First off the bat, I went into this film with an open mind and I left fairly satisfied. "Hellraiser: Judgment" is innovative but fits into the Universe of Hellraiser well. While it is not devoid of flaws, it is an engaging film and one I will certainly watch again as I do the first 3 Hellraiser movies.

The opening of the film is very strong, with an introduction not only to the familiar, but different face of Pinhead (Paul T. Taylor), but also to an intriguing collection of new characters belonging, not to the Order of the Gash, but to the Stygian Inquisition; The charismatic Auditor (played by Tunnicliffe himself), the gruesomely gluttonous Assessor (John Gulager), a group of ageing naked ladies called The Cleaners and three young naked ladies with flayed faces called the Jury. Together, these loathsome creatures are in charge of assessing and condemning souls to hell. We also enjoy the brief presence of Cenobite Chatterer (Mike Jay Regan) and of Heather Langenkamp (of "Nightmare on Elm Street" fame).

The film doesn't precisely tie in to any of the other films, but enjoys a lot of nods to the previous films including, but not limited to, lament configuration/Lemarchand's boxes, the house at 55 Ludovico Place, a soldier past, the pillar from Hellraiser III and a few deliciously nostalgic lines of dialogue.

The new characters feel totally at home in the universe and the overarching murder mystery plot lines ties up nicely into the plot.

Where the film feels weakest are simply its fairly slow pace and a strange deviation near the end that felt a little out of place but was saved by a fun ending sequence. Pinhead is noticeably different, due mostly to simply being portrayed by a different actor. I hope that, given further opportunities, Taylor is allowed some more screen time in which to get his menace on.

The gore is good and in a pretty good abundance and there's enough twists and turns to keep you engaged. It feels a little like "Se7en" mixed in with "Hellraiser". And it was a refreshing change to the same old, same old concepts of the last few Hellraiser sequels.

[image: Dimension Films]

Hani

Bloody Cuts : Death Scenes

"Death Scenes" (2013, Joel Morgan, Ben Franklin, www.bloodycuts.co.uk) is another of the fantastic online British horror anthology, Bloody Cuts.

At only 7 and a bit minutes long I have to commend them on fitting so much in!

A detective is interrogating a suspect. The suspect remains silent throughout the detective's monologue giving a nice feeling of building dread as all of his gruesome murders are explained (and shown). Finally, he speaks up and a fun twist makes for some more lovely gore!

Really fun, well put together and worth your time!

[Image: www.bloodycuts.co.uk]

Hani

The Wizard of Gore

"The Wizard of Gore" (2007, Jeremy Kasten, Open Sky Entertainment, Sick-O-Scope Motion Pictures, Wizard of Gore LLC) is the modern remake of the 1970 Hershell Gordon Lewis film.

Off-beat backstreet magician, Montag the Magnificent (Crispin Glover) performs gory tricks where he randomly selects a beautiful girl from the audience and brutally murders her on stage, before revealing her completely unharmed... or is she?

Ed (Kip Pardue), after seeing the show, becomes obsessed with the trick, wishing to write about it for his article, but it isn't long until he finds himself too deep into the 'magic'.

With some splatter-iffic scenes, a sleazy, mind-boggling storyline and more Suicide Girl boobs than you could shake a stick at, "The Wizard of Gore" certainly lives up to its cover. Although, having not seen the original, I must admit my lack of comparative capability (for now).

It's like an old 'whodunnit' with added crazy people, sleaze, blood and illusions. Maybe not a 'horror' in that sense of the word, but certainly worth a watch.

[Image: Wizard of Gore LLC]

It may change the way you see Marty McFly's dad for a while....

 

Hani 

Seven

"Seven" or "Se7en" (1995, David Fincher, New Line Cinema) is a modern detective story about a methodic serial killer who carefully kills his victims in vicious and inventive ways to depict their own personal 'Deadly Sin'.

Now, I presume I don't have to list the 7 deadly sins for you, but just in case and for consistency: gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, pride, lust and envy.

Detective David Mills (Brad Pitt) has recently transferred to a city in America (it doesn't say which, but wherever it is, it rains more than Glasgow!) to work with, and then replace, the retiring and jaded Detective William Somerset (Morgan Freeman). The city is depressing, suffering from urban decay, social decay and general unhappiness. There's a lot of violent crime, homelessness and drugs. Even the flat which Mills and his wife Tracey (Gwyneth Paltrow) - and their two dogs - have moved into is depressing. The camera lens has a brownish hue which captures the decaying essence of the place. Plus, they live above the subway so every 10 or so minutes, *rattle, shake, rattle*.

Mills and Somerset are brought into the unusual death of a morbidly obese man, who has been sadistically forced to feed himself until he died. This scene is dark and creepy. The body in the dingy apartment and the sheer neglect of everything is very sad. There is the word 'Gluttony' written in grease behind the fridge. This is where the discovery of the murders begins, but for John Doe (Kevin Spacey); our friendly neighbourhood psychopath acting out 'god's will' in his masterpiece of gruesome and horrific 'justice'; the wheels were set in motion long ago. It becomes apparent early into the detectives' investigation that Doe is letting them find the murders when he is ready. He basically points them in the direction once he's finished. He is methodical, disturbed and determined. Everything that is scary about psychopaths.

The deaths build up day upon day, with some alarming scenes. The bodies are gruesome and lots is shown without showing much, if you understand my meaning. The scenes are haunting because the camera work shows some gorey close ups in flashes, giving you the jist of the scene, before coming back to the investigation. It's very artfully done, and keeps you watching.

Each death is related to the sin the victim was most guilty of, the cruel but beautiful woman who chose death over being disfigured, the greedy lawyer who had to give up a literal 'pound of flesh'... and so on.

The film is very dark, and very quiet. Pitt's character begins as the keen, bright-eyed detective, fresh on the scene and ready to fight for justice. Mills is an uncomfortable man, in a new location with new colleagues. His wife is lonely and unhappy. His career is not what he thought it would be. His attempts to win over his new partner are fruitless, and he is easily affected by the murders and the injustice of the whole situation. By the end of the film, he is not the same man.

Somerset has already been jaded by life and working in the city. His hope for humanity is gone, and he hates that about himself. He is ready to retire, but has nothing left to live for; no family, no love life, no happy thoughts (no fairy dust...). He is a 'straight to the point' man, and knows his job well. Freeman plays the character as both disappointed in life, and yet still hanging on in there for something good to happen. You can see that he's still trying to keep a hold of some hope for humanity.

The killer, John Doe (excellently and accurately portrayed by Spacey) finally gives himself up to the cops, but is this just all part of his plan?

An intelligent film with enough gore to please and some good one-liners from Pitt "Excuse me, sir, but do you happen to be a serial killer?".

The end scenes can be a bit of a shock for those not expecting the twist, I remember being completely dismayed as a teenager when I saw this film for the first time! Not completely a horror film, but a good film worth watching.

Oh, and look out for Dr. Cox from "Scrubs" (John C. McGinley) playing a recurring minor character!

[Image: New Line Cinema]

Hani