Dead Heat

"Dead Heat" (1988, Mark Goldblatt, New World Pictures) is a horror comedy.

Detectives Roger Mortis (Treat Williams) and Doug Bigelow (Joe Piscopo) are investigating an unusual robbery at a jewellery store where two of the robbers, having been killed by police, are found to be people who had already had autopsies completed on them previously... by the same police morgue coroner.

Following the chemical clues from the bodies, the Detectives find themselves involved in a science fiction plot where one of them will become the living dead! In a race against time to decomposition, the team must try to take down the evil corporation bringing the dead back to life.

A fun, daft film which doesn't try to be more than what it is and enjoys a lot of pseudoscience, cheesy fight scenes (including the oddest fight scene involving freshly butchered animal carcasses ever) and a small cameo from Vincent Price.

[Image: New World Pictures]

Hani

The Ritual

"The Ritual" (2017, David Bruckner, Entertainment One, Imaginarium Productions) is the film adaptation of the novel by Adam Nevill.

A group of friends go on a hiking trip in the Swedish Wilderness to honour the tragic death of their friend. However, the trip goes from melancholy to menacing when they become lost and begin to realise that they are being chased by a dark and powerful presence in the forest.

"The Ritual" is good for a number of reasons and I'm going to try and get these down with as few spoilers as possible. But, as ever, if you'd rather not know any details before watching I recommend you click away now because there's lots of things I want to say about this film.

Firstly, the film (and I also assume the book, but I'm yet to read it, having only learned of its existence through researching this film) explores a lot of deep stuff. Our main protagonist is Luke (Rafe Spall) who witnessed the murder of his friend, Robert (Paul Reid), first hand and was spared a similar fate only by hiding. Throughout the film we see that Luke is haunted even before the forest with his deep guilt over not doing more to save Robert. He's a broken man who hasn't yet started to deal with what's happened. We also get to learn, as the group's friendships unravel in the stress of survival, that he's not alone in blaming himself for Robert's demise. The main journey of the film becomes not just survival of the forest, but of being a survivor ultimately and pushing past guilt to move forward in life. It's a strong message and "The Ritual" handles it well and with care. Luke is no hero. He's not even a particularly charming or likeable character. He's just a guy trying to live with what's happening. And I found that to be very effective and kind of refreshing.

Our other college buddies consist of; charismatic leader, Hutch (Robert James-Collier); quiet but funny Phil (Arsher Ali) and; the guy who doesn't really want to be there at all, Dom (Sam Troughton). The group dynamic is good and the team come across as genuine old college pals all moving on in their lives. We get a hint of everyone's fears in the movie and the characters are rounded enough to care about. Although personally I feel Phil was a bit short changed in the end.

Now to tackle what I really liked about the film; The scares. It's not a huge dialogue driven piece and the strong visuals make this a good thing. There's been a lot of 'thoughtful' 'quiet' horror recently that's more boring than artfully chilling, but "The Ritual" delivers its scares with style. The setting (actually Romania) goes from beautiful and picturesque to menacing and dark very nicely. We have some horror tropes in the form of spooky signs and abandoned cabins that don't feel overdone and are plot-relevant. We even have a skilful build up of our main antagonist from glimpses through the trees to a full on reveal that is both still scary and wonderfully designed. There are jumps and gore, freaky dream sequences, perilous situations and mythology.

The plot moves along at a good pace and the story actually develops as we go without just repeating the same style of scares over and over again. There are, of course, weaker points but they're all pretty arbitrary. Really, in my view, this film deserves lots of praise.

[Image: Entertainment One, Netflix, et al]

Hani

The Vault

"The Vault" (2017, Dan Bush, Redwire Pictures, Content Media Culmination Productions, Casadelic Pictures, Jeff Rice Films, LB Entertainment, Imprint Entertainment, Psychopia Pictures) is a film about a bank heist gone wrong.

A group of well-organised, and yet rather incompetent, bank robbers find themselves in trouble when they encounter some paranormal activity within the old vault at an inter-city bank. Having taken hostages and attracted police attention, the robbers begin to panic, but as they open the vault, spooky happenings begin that they cannot understand. And there are hostages within their numbers that they cannot account for....

A fun, spooky romp with a host of interesting, yet fairly disposable characters and a somewhat made-for-TV feel.

Although it doesn't break any new ground, it was a fairly entertaining 91 minutes.

[Image: Redwire Pictures]

Hani

High Plains Invaders

"High Plains Invaders" (2009, Richard Beattie, Castel Film Romania, Muse Entertainment Enterprises, Syfy) is a science fiction, made-for-TV film set in the Wild West.

Sam Danville (James Marsters) is a train robber due to be hanged for his crimes in a small Western town. While standing at the hangman's noose, watched by his jilted flame, Abigail (Cindy Sampson), the town is overrun by violent alien creatures and Sam ends up acting as a hero to try to save the town from the monsters.

My hands have to go up in the air here; I'm a huge fan of James Marsters and have been since I was about 16 or so. I'll watch anything that he's in. I listen to his music, I own all the Dresden Files audio books he's narrated and I once met him at a convention and, luckily for him, I was too nervous to say anything coherent at him.

But, I have to make myself clear, here. This is actually a pretty solid made-for-tv Syfy Channel monster/Western mash-up. And I'm not being biased. Yes, it's corny, the dialogue is formulaic and the special effects are low budget so the cast are limited to battling one beastie at a time. But it's well done, sets a good pace and enjoys some pretty nice alien design. The run time is only 87 minutes so the film does not overstay its welcome and, as well as our hero, there is a pretty solid collection of characters.

The film enjoys a "Saturday early evening" feel that is common to most Syfy productions and, although not particularly scary, manages to pull it off as a low-budget monster/cowboy movie without becoming dull.

Also, occasionally, it's nice to see James Marsters play a hero. Even if he's also a wanted criminal at the same time.

[Image: Syfy]

Hani 

The Bat

"The Bat" (1959, Crane Wilbur, Allied Artists) is a film adaptation of a stage play by the same name. This was not the first film version of the script, but it's the only one I've seen. Mainly because it stars Vincent Price.

Cornelia Van Gorder (Agnes Moorehead) is a leading female crime novelist whose mansion house is in a town currently being stalked by a masked killer with blade-tipped fingers known as The Bat, who is on the hunt for a large sum of money which is hidden somewhere nearby.

Her housemaid (or possible lesbian lover, I've not decided), Lizzy (Lenita Lane), is bitten by a real bat one night, and so they call out Dr. Malcolm Wells (Vincent Price).

But when The Bat is seen snooping around the house, the mystery novelist is having to unravel a real mystery for a change as she and the police try to decipher who is behind the murders and why, before it is too late!

The Bat himself is actually quite creepy with his faceless mask and his Freddy Krueger-esque gloves. Of course, he's not scary in comparison to some of the more modern villains, but his sneaky antics are fun to watch.

Old fashioned, creaky and fun (with some very tame humour) I enjoy this mystery movie for what it is. It remains one of my favourite Price films as his delivery is great and he remains suspicious and suave but not hokey throughout. Although, I hasten to add, he does not feature as much as the poster would have you believe!

 

 

[Image: Allied Artists]

 

Hani

The People Under the Stairs

"The People Under the Stairs" (1991, Wes Craven, Universal Pictures) is a fun little horror about a sick couple. It's also a comment on racism and child abuse. But don't let that put you off!

A young boy living in the ghetto, Poindexter aka 'Fool' (Brandon Adams), lovingly nicknamed by his older sister as whenever she reads his Tarot cards the Fool card always comes up, decides to get involved in a robbery in order to help his family. His mother is sick, his sister, Ruby, is a young mother and his family are about to be evicted from their home unfairly. The landlords, The Robesons, are Fool and his friend Leroy's (Ving Rhames) target.

The Robesons are a creepy, incestuous couple, who keep their daughter Alice (A.J. Langer) locked up in her room. Alice behaves herself as she is painfully aware of what will happen to her if she misbehaves.

As is predictable, Mr. and Mrs. Robeson (Everett McGill and Wendy Robie) hide behind 'faith' to tell themselves that the evil they commit is ok. The couple are portrayed amazingly by McGill and Robie; manic and crazy.

In the basement are the Robeson's old children. See, they like to snatch babies and then when the children get too old or begin to display 'misbehaviour', they cut off the offending part (wicked tongues, eavesdropping ears...) and then throw them into the cellar to live like animals. They also feed them intruders, visitors and door-to-door sales people. So far, all the kids in the basement are boys. Alice is the only girl.

One child, a smart and manic kid called Roach (Sean Whalen) has escaped the cellar and now lives in the walls of the house. Roach is awesome! He is constantly being hunted by Daddy Robeson (who likes to wear a gimp suit for hunting...) with a rifle. Roach is Alice's only friend.

Fool finds himself in trouble when he and Leroy find their partner in crime dead and then cannot escape the house before the Robesons return. Leroy, being a big man, doesn't last long as he can't sneak about like Fool can.

Fool manages to escape (with the loot!) but can't live knowing poor Alice and all those crazy mutilated kids are still in that house, and goes back in to save the day. Does he make it? Watch and see!

Adams gives an enjoyable performance as our young hero.

A nicely paced movie with lots of jumps. The kids in the cellar like to jump out at opportune moments. Prince the bloodthirsty dog is a nice addition, too. Although, if you don't want to see a fake dog get stabbed through a wall with a machete.... I'm just sayin'.

A nice cheesy happy ending manages not to ruin the film. The cellar kids manage to sneak out into the big bad world, but they neglect to grab any of the free money. Dolts! Plus, they all look like gollum with hair, surely someone spotted them?!

Another small issue I have with this flick is that all the kids look about the same age. Surely they didn't steal 15 - 20 babies at the same time?

But on the good side, some blood, angry puppies, knives, guns, crazy religious people, incest, cannibalism, robbery, good intentions and explosives; what's not to like?

Worth a look, don't expect to be scared though.

[Picture: Universal Pictures]

Hani