V/H/S/94

 "V/H/S/94" (2021, Jennifer Reeder, Chloe Okuno, Simon Barrett, Timo Tjahjanto, Ryan Prows, Steven Kostanski, Radio Silence Productions, Bloody Disgusting Films, Shudder Original Films) is a found footage horror anthology and the fourth installment in the V/H/S franchise. 

It's 1994 and a SWAT team enter an abandoned building and discover a series of VHS cassettes which we then watch in order. 

"Storm Drain" is an entertaining story of a reporter (Anna Hopkins) and cameraman (Christian Potenza) who are investigating the sighting of local urban legend "Ratman" and enter the storm sewers to uncover the truth. Upon finding a group of people living in there, they decide it's an opportunity to do a more serious human interest story but, unfortunately for them, the local legend may be more real than they thought! 

A pretty good segment with good pacing and some fun effects. 

"The Empty Wake" is by far my favourite segment of the film. Hayley (Kyal Legend) is a young woman working at a funeral home. She's been asked to hold the wake of a man named Andrew alone at night. After a while with no visitors, she begins to try and find out more about the death of Andrew when suddenly she hears what sounds like knocking coming from the coffin...

A pretty decent jump-fest. The segment builds up slowly before unleashing the actual scares, but, once there it's pretty fast paced. Some fun effects and, even if you feel like you knew where it was going, it's a really strong execution. 

"The Subject" is a story of a mad scientist (Budi Ross) engaging in human-machine vivisection and a team of army personnel on his trail to try and rescue some of his unwilling test subjects. 

We see most of the story in first-person style through the 'eyes' of one of his creations (Shania). The segment boasts some creative camera-work and pretty impressive 'off-screen' acting from our determined 'creature'. However, the action is pretty videogame-like and did feel like it overstayed its welcome a little (and I say this as someone who likes playing videogames). But the action is truly gory and pretty satisfying to watch.

"Terror" is about a group of insurrectionists in America who are planning to attack a federal building. This segment was the weakest in my opinion and didn't hold my interest extremely well. The humour felt somewhat misplaced in comparison to the other segments, although it maintained the same level of gore. 

The wraparound "Holy Hell" is functional but not a standout part of the film, although I did enjoy the 90s advert for "The Veggie Masher". Very entertaining. 

All in all, this is the first time I've really enjoyed a V/H/S installment since the original film, and it felt pretty innovative. The pacing is still an issue, but this is part and parcel with horror anthologies as a whole. 

Available to stream on Shudder.

[Image: Shudder, et al]

Hani

Land of the Minotaur

"Land of the Minotaur" aka "The Devil's Men" (1976, Kostas Karagiannis, Crown International Pictures) is a horror film set in 1970s Greece.


A group of archaeology-loving tourists begin to go missing when visiting a particular site. Could the shifty Baron Corofax (Peter Cushing) be involved? Could the whole town be in on it?! It's up to Irish Priest, Father Roche (Donald Pleasance), Milo Kaye (Mr Director himself, Kostas Karagiannis - billed here as Costas Skouras) and Laurie Gordon (Luan Peters) to uncover the mystery and put a stop to the worship and sacrifice to the Minotaur.


Both Cushing and Pleasance have led varied and extensive careers and were extremely supportive of the horror genre and its many aspiring creators, being game to appear in a true variety of quality of films. But, in spite of this, the biggest mystery by far is how they ended up in this one with so much screen time considering the other larger budget pieces they were in around the same time! Truly, we did not deserve them.


This film is a delightful piece of B-movie nonsense that includes;

• Donald Pleasance doing an Irish accent and wearing (and losing!) several hats,
• a few females in short shorts and other skimpy outfits,
• a creepy teenaged girl,
• a leading character resembling a young 70s Father Ted (I dare you to not think of it whilst watching Milo) who is nude quite a lot,
• cult worshippers in multi-coloured outfits (it seems the Baron got a discount on several metres of coloured satin at Remnant Kings - and those bejewelled eyeholes, dahling!),
• lots of shots of a convertible driving quite sensibly around Greece coupled with Donald Pleasance berating the driver for being careless,
• people haplessly digging up things on sites of archaeological interest with their bare hands,
• a mysteriously deserted town where the few townsfolk like to enjoy a beer with breakfast,
• Peter Cushing drinking beer and shooting a grandfather clock, and,
• lots of cult sacrifices to a statue of the Minotaur with a bad case of the fire sneezes and a dislike of people in his special room. 

At only 95 minutes long, it's also not too taxing a spectacle and is currently on Amazon Prime in the UK under it's UK title.

[Image: Crown International Pictures]

Hani

Mandy

"Mandy" (2018, Panos Cosmatos, Spectrevision, Umedia, XYZ Films, RLJE Films) is an arthouse horror thriller starring Nicolas Cage.



Set in the 80s, we meet logger Red Miller (Nicolas Cage) and his fantasy artist and gas station attendant girlfriend, Mandy Bloom (Andrea Riseborough) at their lakeside cabin.


A cult calling themselves Children of the New Dawn along with the help of a drugged-up, cannibalistic biker gang called The Black Skulls, kidnap Mandy for their leader, Jeremiah Sand (Linus Roache). However, Mandy rejects Sand and he instead burns her alive in front of Red.


Red then goes on a vengeful rampage armed with a special crossbow, a handmade axe and a whole tonne of hallucinogenic drugs... Oh, and there's a chainsaw battle also.


For me, the description sounded a lot better than the finished article. While I don't dislike Nicolas Cage, there's only so much entertainment I can glean from the famous Cage Rage - and this film is chalk full of it. The plot is pretty simple and the imagery is often really creative but it's all done with a kind of pretentious smirk and a lot of colour filters and starts to wear after a while. Some scenes are fantastically metal but the style likes to jump all over the place. For a film where all the characters are on drugs, however, I guess this makes sense. I guess that's also true for the odd dialogue...


The film takes a while to get started, and when it finally does it jumps off the deep end in an impressive way. If it had been cheesier, it would have been superb. But the arthouse pretention keeps this for being a hit for me.

[Image: Spectrevision, et al]

Hani

Perfect Skin

**This review contains spoilers**

"Perfect Skin" (2018, Kevin Chicken, Perfect Skin Productions, KEW Media Group) is a psychological horror film about an obsessive tattoo artist who goes way too far in his attempts to create a masterpiece.

Katia (Natalia Kostrzewa) is a Polish woman who moves in with her Australian friend, Lucy (Jo Woodcock), in her London flat. While out partying Lucy introduces Katia to Bob (Richard Brake), an American tattoo artist who Lucy had received some tattoo work from in the past. Bob offers to design Katia her first tattoo, but he becomes obsessed with her as a perfect 'blank canvas' and kidnaps her in order to turn her into his personal masterpiece.

An extremely dark and sinister plot which is well executed and creates uncomfortable but intriguing viewing. As Katia wakes to discover more and more changes to her body she becomes both horrified at the transformation being done without her consent and also interested in spite of herself in what Bob has planned, as well as in his other dark interests.

A study in obsession, dominance and retaliation which manages not to vilify the sub-culture of body modification, despite the antagonist's misuse of it. The film straddles the void between exploitation movies and torture films becoming fairly difficult to fit into any one box. While certainly not pleasant viewing, the cast deliver a haunting performance that may leave you looking for the wire brush and dettol afterwards.

Currently available to rent from YouTube.

[Image: KEW Media Group, et al]

Hani

A Better Life

"A Better Life" is a horror novel by Kyle M. Scott (2018).

A group of desperate people kidnap a child in an attempt to get hold of enough money to end their problems. But, they've gotten much more than they bargained for...

We follow Jess and her husband, Curt, who, together with Curt's kind and matronly sister, Lisa, and the dangerous ruffian, Pete, have kidnapped a quiet young girl called Emily from her senator father. They take Emily to an abandoned and secluded house in the middle of the Mojave desert.

Jess feels extremely conflicted about what they've done. On one hand, she feels horrible for taking the young girl from her home, but on the other hand she knows that she and Curt are in a desperate situation with very few remaining options. She takes a shine to the strange child who is beautiful but stoic beyond her years in a disconcerting manner. Jess feels both protective of her and scared of her.

The story is told from the characters' perspectives with a tendency to focus on our main protagonist, Jess. Through the eyes of each character we learn more about them and their motives. And we find that they have shades of grey.... Some much greyer than others.

Tensions begin to rise when Curt and Pete find that Emily's parents may not be interested in getting her back, and Pete's violent side rises to the surface. Meanwhile, Jess begins to get close to Emily and sees an unnerving peak behind the pretty little girl's eyes... For Emily, we find, is more than just a lonely little rich girl who likes comic books. She has a chilling talent.

The subject matter is pretty terrifying. Having the kind of power that Emily wields is scary enough, but the fact that Emily chooses to use her powers based on her own childlike grasp of right and wrong (where shades of grey are not acceptable) is the truly scary thought. Emily may seem calm and unperturbed by her situation, but she knows that her tantrums can be deadly. Equally, however, she is a child and naturally wins some of the readers' sympathy.

Kyle M. Scott paints a terrifying portrait of this little girl and also of the kidnappers themselves. They all have dark secrets and taking Emily has sealed their fates. Scott describes with fantastic gusto the gory and violent scenes the characters face, creating a clear disturbing image in the reader's mind and some scenes that didn't leave my thoughts for a few days.

A truly chilling ending leaves the reader with a sense of dread and a thirst to know more about the fate of this strange and powerful child.

Available now on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle editions

Leatherface

"Leatherface" (2017, Julien Maury, Alexandre Bustillo, Campbell Grobman Films, Mainline Pictures, Millennium Films, Lionsgate Films) is a prequel to the 1974 original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and the eighth film in the franchise. It is, however, admittedly only the third film in the franchise that I have personally watched. 

The film follows the character who will become Leatherface, Jed, giving some background on his upbringing and the traumatic events which lead him to become the chainsaw wielding, face-book collecting villain that we all know today.

The film has suffered some negative critical response which is largely undeserved in my view. It manages to exist within the same universe and setting as the 1974 original in a fairly believable way, despite being made more than 40 years later. The characters and action have a familiarity that ties it in to the franchise very well.

The Sawyer family are instantly recognisable as characters and are pitched at correct ages to tie in to the original film. Grandpa Sawyer particularly, in his more mobile 'youth', is a nice nod to the character's future. While the shock factor maintained within the original film is not reclaimed, "Leatherface" pays a strong homage to Hooper's original.

The identity of teenaged Jed is kept as a 'secret', although it's not exactly well hidden. However, he is joined by a host of other characters on, not a slasher style spree, but a Bonny and Clyde style kidnap roadtrip. This change of pace really appealed to me as it further explains the changes in Jed's mental situation from young man with some serious issues to young maniac intent on collecting faces. The film is not a purely Slasher film, managing to blend mental asylum, road trip, body horror and slasher genres into a gory adventure.

The death scenes are gruesome and intense with a bit of necrophilia also thrown in for added ick factor. This film certainly accomplished a few scenes which made me squirm.

An origin story for a much appreciated ('loved' seemed like the wrong word) horror icon that manages to create a worthy plot and character development, with strong performances from the cast. I'm not usually one for reboots, prequels and remakes, but for once this one played out as a refreshing change of pace, an homage to the original and not an attempt to kick start another wave of franchise additions or change the outcomes for the characters.

[Image: Lionsgate Films, et al]

Hani

Lord of Illusions

"Lord of Illusions" (1995, Clive Barker, Seraphim Films, United Artists) is a film based on one of Barker's short stories, "The Last Illusion" from the Books of Blood volume 6.

A cult led by a man called Nix (Daniel von Bargen), who possesses magical powers, sees a bloody battle in which a group of former cult members take Nix down with the help of a young girl whom the cult had been holding as a hostage.

Years later, Detective Harry D'Armour (Scott Bakula), becomes involved in investigating a string of murders involving the cult's victorious defectors; occultist and fortune teller, Quaid (Joseph Latimore), and popular stage magician, Swann (Kevin J. O'Connor). And what's this? He's enlisted by none other than Swann's wife, Dorothea (Famke Janssen), who turns out to be someone key from the earlier plot! But can D'Armour help solve the mystery of the murderous cult, or will he and Dorothea die trying?

In true Clive Barker style, there's some really nice practical effects in this film and a few sordid scenes and magical battles. While nowhere near the visual splendour of the first "Hellraiser" movie or "Nightbreed", "Lord of Illusions" still holds its own as a visually impressive film with a slow and wandering, but not dis-interesting plot.

[Image: United Artists, et al]

Hani

Get Out

"Get Out" (2017, Jordan Peele, Blumhouse Productions, QC Entertainment, Monkeypaw Productions, Universal Pictures) is a horror that explores themes of racism through the context of an interracial couple hitting the 'meet the parents' milestone of their relationship.

Chris Washington (Daniel Kaluuya) and Rose Armitage (Allison Williams) head out to Rose's family home to introduce Chris to her parents. Chris is apprehensive about meeting Rose's parents because she has told him he is her first African-American boyfriend and he's not sure how her Caucasian family will react to him. Rose assures him that her folks are not racist and that they'll just be glad to meet him.

Upon arriving this does seem to be the case, although as the day goes on her parents make some awkward 'well intended' remarks that begin to make Chris uncomfortable. However, it is the black people he encounters that strike him as 'wrong' somehow, but he can't quite place why. As the visit becomes overlong, the couple are dragged into an odd family gathering and Rose's mother also offers to cure Chris' smoking addiction with hypnosis...

Things become slowly more and more unsettling and Chris becomes aware that this friendly, suburban setting may not be as safe as it first appeared...

A fantastically paced film that balances its social statement with good scripting, humour and character development. The acting is spot on with a strong lead from Kauuya who's both confused, but strong and an excellent antagonist in Rose's father (Bradley Whitford). The unsettling build up really makes the twists and turns effective and keep them from being hokey or too obvious. The film isn't just about blatant racism; it explores that smiling-cat, quasi-jealous, self-congratulatory kind of racism that is prevalent all over.

A really striking film that's definitely worth a try. The horror elements are more tailored to a chilling thriller than a straight up fright fest, but the true horror is in the message being portrayed.

[Image: Universal Pictures, et al]

Hani

The Eyes of my Mother

"The Eyes of my Mother" (2016, Nicolas Pesce, Borderline Presents, Tandem Pictures, Magnet Releasing) is a black and white horror drama about trauma.

Francisca's mother (Diana Agostini), an ex-surgeon from Portugal, teaches the young girl (Olivia Bond) about anatomy. One day, a creepy stranger (Will Brill) asks to use the family's bathroom. Against her instincts, Francisca's mother lets the man into the house, where he brutally murders her. Francisca's father (Paul Nazak) comes home and beats the murderer bloody before dumping him in the barn - An event that the murderous intruder will live to deeply regret. Francisca (Kika Magalhães) grows into a disturbed young woman, with an unusual fascination with death...

A slow burning film punctuated with disturbing scenes of suggested  mutilation and gruesome ideas. Francisca is a lonely girl, who's young experiences with horror have left her broken and unfeeling. There's a lot of unsettling content in this film.

Despite this and despite Magalhães' engaging performance as the main role, the film does suffer from being so slow and quiet, however, its bat-shit, mental content makes up for this in abundance. A truly awful vision.

[Image: Magnet Releasing, et al}

Hani 

Split (2016)

"Split" (2016, M. Night Shyamalan, Blinding Edge Pictures, Blumhouse Productions, Universal Pictures) is a psychological horror. Not to be confused with either the bowling movie, or the short horror film from 2014 of the same name.

Three teenage girls are kidnapped by a man called Kevin (James McAvoy) who has been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, or split personalities. He has 23 personalities in total. Whilst only some of his personalities actively want to harm the girls, none of them are inclined to help them, fearing rebuke from Dennis; the dominant personality and head kidnapper.

McAvoy delivers such a wealth of talent in this film. Although he is not given opportunity to show all 23 personalities, the ones he does portray on-screen are expertly delivered, very different and so very sinister. It's enough on its own simply to watch him switch between characters and costumes with ease.

The acting from all characters is pretty solid, the main failing for me of this film was the story telling itself. M. Night Shyamalan films can be hit or miss for me. In the main his ideas are excellent concepts, but his twists and turns often feel a little forced and last minute. For me, Split also suffered from this aspect. An excellently quiet, sinister build up suddenly spiralled into a bit of a mess in the pursuit of a twist.

However, overall the film was intriguing enough to engage my attention and the superb acting from McAvoy really keeps you guessing.

[Image: Blumhouse Productions, et al]

Hani

Bone Tomahawk

"Bone Tomahawk" (2015, S. Craig Zahler, Caliber Media Company, RLJ Entertainment) is an American horror Western movie featuring two actors I admire greatly; Kurt Russell and Sid Haig.

Set in the 1890s, we follow a group of men, lead by Sheriff Franklin Hunt (Kurt Russell), as they attempt to save two of their townsfolk who have been kidnapped by a brutal, cannibal troglodyte clan.

A gritty hybrid horror which begins as a pretty traditional seeming Western film but eventually delves into some truly disturbing and creative horror gruesomeness. The cast give a stellar performance making each character rounded. The dialogue is good and the film keeps an excellent pace.

Despite the outlandishness of the story and its almost supernatural villains, the film plays out so confidently that it all seems perfectly reasonable and realistic at the time. Kurt Russell cuts a fine image as a strong sheriff with some great facial hair, In fact the whole cast is perfectly suited to their roles.

A genre blending piece which is both entertaining and shocking, "Bone Tomahawk" is a really excellent piece of cinema.

[Image: RLJ Entertainment, et al]

Hani

INSPIRACION

"INSPIRACION" (2014, Antonio Clemente, Barry's Kidnapping Films) is a Spanish short suspense film about a writer who is struggling for inspiration for his next book.

His... hooker(?) recommends a person to contact who can guarantee that he will find inspiration. But he might not like what he is asked to do to inspire his imagination.

A very quiet, film noir-esque piece which makes good use of light and fills the 16minute time slot well without trying to be too clever with the budget.

The entire piece is filmed in black and white, but it lends itself well to the kind of suspensful story being told. If you don't mind subtitles, and, like me, you're not scared of independent lower budget pieces, it's a fun international short that I hope will make its way to the UK for some film festivals.

[Image: Antonio Clemente]

Hani

 

Candyman

"Candyman" (1992, Bernard Rose, Clive Barker, TriStar Pictures) is scary. It's not scary because of the whole urban myth, mirror thing. No. It's scary because it could happen. Not the undead dude with the hook, I mean going crazy.

I have two fears; zombie apocalypse (ok, not really, but out of all the horror creatures, zombies are at the top of my scariest shit list) and going crazy. Insanity scares me. I don't like the idea that I could just lose it and become someone/thing else! Really terrifying, actually!

Anyway, aside from my own personal insecurities, this film is about two PhD students, Helen Lyle (Virginia Madsen) and Bernadette Walsh (Kasi Lemmons) who are writing a thesis on Urban Legends. They come across the Candyman legend which is local to their area, being based in the gang controlled, ghetto-Projects closeby the university.

They, of course, dare one another to say "Candyman" five times in the mirror, but only Helen finishes all five repetitions. I have to say, that the fact that he didn't jump out and kill her just then really impressed me. The tension meter was right up for about the first 20 mins of this film while I awaited his big entrance!

The two women visit Cabrini-Green, the projects, where they learn of the history and the myth around the Candyman. And meet a few locals.

Poor Helen runs into a lot of unfortunate luck even before she is confronted by the hook-handed man. And, lucky her, he fancies her. So instead of gutting her right there, he instead decides to frame her for a bunch of murders (of mainly people she knows) and for kidnapping, and then kill her once she's become infamous like him (reasoning being that she too will join him as a local Urban Legend).

The slow descent into madness for Helen is traumatic to watch. I remember watching "Premonition" starring Sandra Bullock and finding her torturous unlinear week and 'madness' very disturbing. As I said, it's a thing with me.

Virginia Madsen plays the part well, and I hear she also had hypnosis during filming. Some method actors, huh?

So we're left with the question, is Helen truly haunted by her not-so-secret-admirer, Candyman? Or has she just flipped and is actually killing everyone then blacking out covered in evidence?

Very disturbing with a nicely hefty amount of gore (remembering Clive Barker was involved!) and a few good jumps. Also some 90s fashion; always scary! Oh and bugs. Lots of wasps. Yuck!

Scary on so many levels:

• The childish boogeyman factor
• The insanity factor
• And, speaking as a female, the maternal factor - they stole a baby, man! For a MONTH! What was that kid eating?!

I'm disappointed in myself for having never watched this classic before, but now I have I can say, as a first time viewer, I am so impressed! Never knew what I was missing!

[Picture: TriStar Pictures]

Hani