Patchwork

"Patchwork" (2015, Tyler MacIntyre, Infinite Lives Entertainment) is a horror comedy inspired by various Frankenstein tropes.

A self proclaimed mad scientist (Corey Sorenson) reanimates a corpse made of three different women:
- snooty business woman, Jennfer (Tory Stopler),
- bimbo with a heart of gold, Ellie (Tracey Fairaway), and;
- shy-but-unstable, Madeline (Maria Blasucci).

The woman-women then go on a rampage while they try to work out what's happened to them and how to cope with their new normal... and also to hook up with a guy called Garret (James Phelps) who tries to help them out.

A fun and imaginative take on the popular Mary Shelley-esque tale. Well made and engaging, the film keeps you smiling as you go and doesn't outstay its welcome at 1.5hrs.

Lots of visual gags and a couple of thoughtful moments amongst the mayhem as well as the memorable line "my favourite colour is sparkly".

[Image: Infinite Lives Entertainment]

Hani

Head Count

"Head Count" (2018, Elle Callahan, Samuel Goldwin Films, Goodmother Industries) is a summer film set in Joshua Tree, California.
Evan (Isaac Jay) abandons a potentially boring weekend with his elder brother to join a group of people his own age staying in a rented house in Joshua Tree. He's particularly drawn to one of the group, Zoe (Ashleigh Morghan), a budding photographer, who seems to be into him.
The group party, drink, smoke, make out in the hot tub and tell scary stories by the campfire until things start to go wrong. For you see the scary creepypasta Evan hurriedly recited from the internet on his turn has accidentally summoned a deadly entity into their midst....
A fun summer horror focusing on the old trope of college kids renting cabins and summoning demons, this time with a more desert and less woodland setting. The cast give a good and realistic performance as our group of drinking-game-loving modern day college kids, and the expansive and lonely setting give a good eerie feel.
While the film doesn't really do anything new, the plot pacing is effective and I found myself enjoying the show.
The monster, a shapeshifting creature known as a Hisji, blends a nice, if a little clumsy, mix of The Thing, an Onryō, Slenderman and the creature from It Follows.
The action comes in well paced bursts and there are a few well timed jumps and twists that work well in the context.
While not being anything particularly new or clever, "Head Count" is a competent and fun film and definitely worth checking out if you're looking for something you haven't seen before. Currently available on Netflix UK.

[Image: Samuel Goldwin Films]

Hani 

Der Wixxer

"Der Wixxer" (2004, Tobi Baumann, Rat Pak Filmproduktion) is a German parody film based on elements of the Edgar Wallace crime films of the 1960s.

Set in London (although mostly filmed in the Czech Republic), we follow alcoholic chain-smoking Chief Inspector Even Longer (Oliver Kalkofe) and his new partner Inspector Very Long (Bastian Pastewka) who are on the case to uncover the identity of skull-masked crime lord, Der Wixxer (a corruption of the German slang for 'wanker'), who is both responsible for the murder of Even Longer's previous partner, Inspector Rather Short (Thomas Heinze) and hellbent on taking over the rule of London's crime syndicate.

With a tone of humour somewhat between a "Carry On..." movie and "Young Frankenstein", the film is entertaining but full of eyeroll moments. We have a castle which is 'the last remaining black and white castle in England', a servant called Hatler (I'll let you guess where that joke goes), a couple of dance numbers, a lot visual and verbal puns, a catalogue of humorous villains and a lot of purposefully stilted acting. A few jokes don't quite land (the racist flower seller we could have done without), but overall Der Wixxer delivers exactly what it says it will and does so with humour and a knowing wink.

As a student of the German language this film really appealed to me and I was pleased to be able to pick up on the jokes and plot (however ridiculous) pretty easily. Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to get a hold of a DVD with the English subtitles for this film which does limit the audience a little.

Definitely worth checking out if you have the means. A film that deserves a wider audience.

[Image: Rat Pak Filmproduktion]

Hani

The Tingler

"The Tingler" (1959, William Castle, Columbia Pictures, William Castle Productions).

Dr. Warren Chapin (Vincent Price) discovers that the phenomenon where the spine tingles in fear is actually due to the presence of a fear feasting, parasitic creature which he names The Tingler. The creature can kill its host, but is weakened by a human scream.

Desperate to prove his discovery, he performs an autopsy on a deaf, non-verbal woman who had died of fright, removing the creature! But can he keep such a specimen under control?

One of the Castle films which benefited from his love of gimmicks including the Percepto vibrating cinema seat; a precursor to gimmicks still in use today.

The film is a fabulous schlock classic and the plot moves along well even today under the committed and masterful performance of Vincent Price and some fun effects. The scene where Mrs Higgins (Judith Evelyn) dies of fright is excellent and Castle used striking targeted colour in an otherwise black and white film to bring out the red of the blood.

The Tingler creature itself remains an entertaining effect. The story isn't the most absurd in our wonderful genre by far, but is admittedly weird. Despite that, however, The Tingler is an excellent piece of cinema and definitely a must-see for any classic horror fan.

[Image: Columbia Pictures]

Hani

Contagion

"Contagion" (2011, Steven Soderbergh, Warner Bros. Pictures, Participant Media, Imagenation Abu Dhabi, Double Feature Films) is a film about a deadly virus spreading worldwide.

I thought that during these current times of COVID-19 I'd revisit the excellent, terrifying and sadly extremely relevant "Contagion".

Beth Emhoff (Gwyneth Paltrow) returns home from an international business trip and accidentally sets in motion a pandemic which spreads like wildfire. We follow different characters who are in the main unaware of their connections to one another as they seek to contain, report, fight or escape the lethal virus.

The film does an excellent job of highlighting how easily the virus spreads, how quickly the panic spreads and how woefully under-prepared the world is in the face of such a situation. Unfortunately, looking at our current events, we are globally even less prepared than displayed in this film. But in the main, it is truly haunting how on the nose the film's events are.

The cast is fantastic. With excellent performances across the board from Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Laurence Fishburne, Chin Han, Marion Cotillard, Elliott Gould, Gwyneth Paltrow... frankly everyone.

Well paced and engaging, the film is gripping at the best of times, but its currently relatable content rings disturbingly true at present.

[Image: Warner Bros. Pictures]

Hani

The Mad Magician

"The Mad Magician" (1954, John Brahm, Colombia Pictures) is the tale of a frustrated magician who turns to murder.

Don Gallico (Vincent Price) makes illusions. But truly, he aspires to perform them as a famous stage magician himself. Adopting the name Gallico the Great, he arranges a fantastical stage show where he will disguise himself as his previous famous clientele and perform the tricks that he invented for them and also his newest invention; a terrifying buzz-saw trick. But his show is halted by legal action and his inventions are taken. Utilising his flare for disguise, he turns instead to murder in order to exact his revenge...

A fun film which has some similarities to "The House of Wax" but with Price playing a slightly more sympathetic villain. The disguises are fun and the action is delightfully shlocky. The film was originally released during the 50s boom of 3D mania and enjoys some of the hammy shots that were made with that in mind. Price, as ever, delivers a fun and gleefully dastardly villain.

[Image: Colombia Pictures]

Hani

From a Whisper to a Scream

"From a Whisper to a Scream" (1987, Jeff Burr, Moviestore Entertainment) is a horror anthology.

Librarian, Julian White (Vincent Price), tells four tales centred around the evil effects of the town of Oldfield, Tennessee on its unlucky inhabitants.

The first tale centres around a man trying to date his glamorous boss.

The second is a tale about a wounded man who learns that there are downsides to eternal life.

The third is about a girl who falls in love with a carnival glass eater, with unfortunate results.

The final is about a group of Unionist soldiers at the end of the civil war who find themselves prisoners of some unusual and dangerous children.

While a little clunky in places and suffering from some pacing issues and a couple of weak segments, the film is still enjoyable for the occasional surprising scene, a couple of dark moments and, of course, Vincent Price.

[Image: Moviestore Entertainment]

Hani