Sorority Row (2009)

"Sorority Row" (2009, Stewart Hendler, E1 Entertainment, Summit Entertainment) is the misguided remake of the 1983 teen slasher, "The House on Sorority Row" (Mark Rosman).

The 2009 version follows the plot of the original in some ways:

• Graduating sorority girls (I always thought it was spelled 'sorrority'! But, there you go!)
• Girls want a party
• House mother says no
• Prank goes wrong
• Oops someone's dead!
• Can't spoil the party!!!
• I know, we'll hide the body!
• Oh crap, someone (or something) is taking it's revenge on us!
• Aaaah!
• Brutal death scenes...

Other than that, rip it up. This film is just an excuse to get a bunch of bitchy, scantily clad beauties to cavhort around and make smart ass remarks. Oh, and there's some drugs and some sleeping with older men, too. I'm not saying the '83 version is the best film ever, far from it, but it was a classier production.... And it was the low-budget teen trash horror of its day!

In this version, the girls accidentally kill someone (different 'someone' to the original, which I liked actually as I wasn't expecting that!) and hide the body. And the whole thing is started by one of the girls finding out that their boyfriend has been cheating on her. Also, the new weapon is a pimped-out tyre arm, not a pimped-out walking stick...

Unlike the original, not much effort is put into making the killer very creepy... And other than the effective use of modern special effects and gore, the film generally falls a bit flat and sticks mainly in the realms already well trodden by much more worthy pieces, e.g. "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and also, of course, The Scream flicks...

With an obvious and badly revealed twist, or two... the film doesn't give me the creeps, more like the sleeps.

Poor Carrie Fisher (my dad's ideal pin-up girl back in the 70s & 80s, and he's not even a 'Star Wars' fan!), played the only likeable character in the whole film! Which is unsurprising, considering her excellent career... how she ended up this misadventure is a complete guess!

Probably a hit with the younger horror audience of say, young teens, this film is best avoided unless you're:
a) a dude looking for some pretty girls to oogle or
b) you're a teenager looking for some gorey, slasher fun and don't have a copy of "Halloween", "Friday the 13th" or "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" handy...

Not a hit with me, I'm afraid.

[Picture: E1 Entertainment, Summit Entertainment]

 

Hani